How do I stop drinking? Or cut down at the very least?

[confusedlots]

I've got myself into awful habits with alcohol and it sounds ridiculous but I just can't stop. I know it's easy to say just don't have it In the house so you have no choice, but I always convince myself there's some reason to buy another few bottles. My skin is awful, i'm feeling really low and irritable and just have a constant brain fog.

I have a professional job and somehow manage to hold it down ok, and young children who are well fed, clean etc.

I've had a really difficult and stressful year and it's all just got so out of control. I'm often on my own in the evenings once the kids are in bed (this is a temporary thing due to DH's work but likely to last a few more months) and I just get so bored. I'm also worn down by the monotony of life, work, young kids, thinking about what to make for dinner etc. A glass of wine gives me a little lift, but once I've had that first one I just take it too far. One or one and a half bottles is my norm.

I'm going to give myself a target of getting to the weekend without a drink, this is something I probably haven't done in about a year. I really need to do this, and any encouragement or tips are very welcome.

May I join you? I'm the same. REALLY need to cut down on my consumption - and ideally go sober for a prolonged amount of time. I tell myself it's fine as I don't drink spirits, "just" wine (!) but the empty bottles are a really telling sign :(

We can encourage each other! I had half a bottle of wine left this morning and I poured it down the sink. That felt like a good step.

I'm fed up of waking up feeling hungover, and being tired all the time. I keep telling myself all the negative things about alcohol, and how much better I will be without it.

I can literally relate to everything you say in your post! Let's try this week sober and take it from there.

I took 9 empty wine bottles to the bottle bank today. I'm not sure how quickly I went through those, but my trips to the bottle bank are far too frequent.

It would be great to try together to get to Friday without a drink. I'm not working tomorrow and have booked myself in for a spin class in the morning when the kids are at school. I've never done a spin class before! But I know that exercise helps my mood so hopefully that will give me a boost.

Sounds like you're feeling sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. Great place to start. You say that life is stressful at the moment, and that you have a lot to deal with. Does it help at all to think of booze making that harder overall, not easier? Yes a glass of wine is a very lovely thing, but drinking heavily means that youre not sleeping well, and waking up the next day with a sore head, low energy, low mood and all the rest of it. So you're doing yourself a BIG favour, and allowing yourself to rest and recover, by staying sober all week, and then just keeping it moderate at weekends. I know this isn't easy! Just a thought

@confusedlots that's great! I am going to book myself some Bootcamp taster sessions as I really need to start getting exercise! I'm at work today and I'm already thinking about having a glass of wine. I'm not going to - I'm not going to buy any. I'm going to buy myself some Appletise instead.

We have a great thread going called Day One in alcohol support, many of us have similar issues with not being able to stop once we start. Some people have been doing amazingly well, others of us have had stumbles but it's a great place to chat, regroup and keep going. Please join us if you'd like!

'I'm going to buy myself some Appletise instead.'

That's a great plan. Think past the Appletise to the bigger picture - good nights sleep, clear head in the morning, energy, feeling proud of yourself. Remind yourself why you're doing it. I always find it easier to not drink if I have something nice planned the next day that I want to be fresh for

I started going to classes such as Zumba etc most mornings and decided I couldn't have a drink the night before or I would get up feeling like shit and would not go so I paid for them up front for a month.
I also read a book called Kick the Drink Easily by Jason Vale (no it's not) which I borrowed from a friend.
It all worked until lockdown when classes finished and I got lazy and put on weight so decided to start over again and the same regime is working again. Don't buy the wine anymore and been doing well for a couple of weeks now. Aldi have some non alcohlic sugar free Mocktails which taste nice but not sure about them yet incase they lead me to having a real Mojito.
Definitely going to have a look at the Day One thread - thanks.

I've been where you are. Exactly the same word for word.

I've managed to stop a few times but then think I'm 'safe' and can moderate again and just fall back into bad habits. Last time I stopped for 3 months and then started again when the first lockdown was announced.

I'm currently in a stopped phase and this time feels different. If someone told me I could never drink again I would be happy. I'm so bored of the constant planning my day around getting that bottle of wine at 6pm and the last ... i've genuinely no idea how many... weeks I've been stopped I've achieved so much.

My tips - lots and lots of fizzy water, fizzy sweets and treats. Take each day as it comes. You don't need to drink today. Have a big glass of fizzy water and eat some haribo when the wine witch starts whining.

The voice inside your head is your brain using its learned shortcut route to a dopamine hit. Only it is temporary - after that first glass of wine that warm fuzzy dopamine hit goes, doesn't it?

I also totted up how much it was costing me - that was scary.

I've found a few things variably helpful - lots of people swear by a book called 'Alcohol Lied to Me' which I haven't read yet. I have tried Annie Grace (worked well to begin with but then 'life' got in the way a little) a podcast called Sober Awkward and also The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober.

And its true, I'm feeling more joy, and more contentment with the world since stopping drinking. I don't want to lose that feeling by drinking wine again.

I definitely want to be less foggy and feel more joy. It's only Day 1 for me today but I already feel stronger about it than I have previous times I've tried to stop.

My longing for a glass of wine has gone! I'm looking forward to some Appletise and a nice healthy meal - rather than wine and unhealthy snacks.

Let's keep this going - I know it's only Monday but it seems a long time. I want to try and not drink at the weekend too but I'm taking it one day at a time.

Buy half bottles and only have those every other day? You may go through withdrawal if you cut it out completely. Spread it across the week too and don't change habits at the weekend, you'll binge that way. Lower the amount but keep it consistent, then keep spacing it out. You could go cold turkey but you'll be moody and you've got a lot on your plate. Good luck x

I know just how much damage I'm doing to myself, both physically and mentally. I consider myself to be relatively intelligent, and I know all this, but I just keep going. I gave up for 6 weeks last year and don't remember finding it that difficult, but things have slowly got worse since then and my current situation is worse than it's ever been.

I know I need to stop completely, and the main reason for that is that I find it impossible to just have one drink. So moderation is never going to work for me. I'm just focussed on getting through this week and then taking things from there.

I'm going to stock up on vitamins, try to get exercising a lot more and drink lots of tea. And keep checking in here.

'I'm going to stock up on vitamins, try to get exercising a lot more and drink lots of tea. And keep checking in here.'

Great to have a plan. Remember to adjust your expectations - sober evenings are often less fun than drinking evenings, they just are. Sober mornings however are absolutely glorious. Have a plan for the evening to ward off dullness - book, podcast, TV show, online yoga - and focus on how great you will feel in the morning

Have you thought about going to see your GP? Or possibly going to AA? Any thing that you think you're missing, is going to be very hard to 'give up'. You could try reading Allan Carr's book on cutting down alcohol.

Hello confusedlots,
I have a problem with alcohol. I have recently got back into parkrun ( 9am Saturday morning ) after a 2 year pandemic break; this solves the Friday evening drinking temptation. I meet a friend at parkrun so we are accountable. Exercise is a good swap for alcohol. I started with couch to 5k a few years back. I don’t have young children so I guess it is not always easy to find time to do exercise, but the nights are lighter now so that is a plus.
Best of luck

I'm also in the 'Day 1' thread. Stopped 14 weeks ago. Tried to stop before but I scared myself this time so it's actually sticking

I read 'This Naked Mind'

What happens if you take your alcohol budget for a fortnight and spend it on one bottle?

Following

I've a professional job and work shifts on my days off I get so bored and hit the wine big style. Wake up feel and awful guilt in my stomach until about 10 then as the day goes on I think hey why not have a wine tonight. Last 5 years it's increased, I used to moderate now its a free for all.... xx

A couple of years ago I started drinking to much , me and DH worked in and around pubs for years and when we left we carried on going in and drinking ( we didn't drink that often was working in the pub the sick of the sight of the stuff )

When my DH died I found solace in drink , and it crept up over the years to me drinking 3 or 4 cans of cider every week night and more weekend

I still held down the job which involves me getting up very early in the morning I'm still functioning perfectly normally but it suddenly hit me when I was trying to hide how many cans i put in my recycling bin when my neighbour who asked to put some stuff in there , I knew there was a problem then

I realised stopping instantly probably wasn't a good idea but I found some good substitute non-alcoholic cider.
Thatchers
Stowford press
Shepley

And
Guinness
Ghost ship when I want something different.

I highly recommend you have a look around for different drinks that you can enjoy instead. as PP said water is great but for me it gets a bit boring the matter what cordial you put in it.

Have a look at Dry Drinker , it's a great online shop that does next day delivers,
A bonus is they don't use any plastic in their packaging whatsoever it's all tough card

I had to fight the demons tonight - but I think I won! A friend came over with a bottle of wine and the voice in my head kept saying “one glass won’t hurt” but I remembered how I felt this morning and all the other mornings, and I beat it!

I’ll probably have an early night, but hope all of you win your fights with your demons too.

Please can we keep posting, it’s really helping me. I always thought I could just do it on my own but that hasn’t worked so far - so I’m trying something new.

I see a pp has mentioned Alcohol Lied to Me. I listened to it on audible and my goodness it changed my life. I haven't drunk for 3 years. I was a daily drinker before that. I can't explain how it works. It just does. You don't need to stop drinking before reading/listening either.
I've never said I will never drink again. If I want to drink again I will. Since that book though I just don't want to. I honestly thought I was doomed to drink for life.

I read the Joy of Being Sober and The Naked Mind. Both are good at trying to change your perspective of alcohol.

I can have any other alcohol in my house apart from wine and it doesn’t bother me. Wine to me is super appealing and addictive.

I focus on how much better I feel without this nasty, addictive poison in my body. I have only drank when seeing a friend twice in the past 2 months.

I think this is more common than people realise. Covid and working from home all the time has seen my alcohol consumption increase dramatically. I don’t need to get up until 8.30, and don’t even need to look presentable, it hasn’t been good for me. Adult DDs, one at uni and one at home. DH also loves wine so we’re not good for each other in that respect.

I’ve joined a gym and a yoga class and trying to keep the wine for weekends only.

Wine is full of sugar so sweets when I’m feeling weak have helped.