The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life!

[ChampooPapi]

Adm1010

Hello all

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling

So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile

Thank you to @Adm1010 for hosting the last thread 💜

And here’s to the next 40 pages grin

Well done @Theskyoutsideisblue and everyone else making plans to stay af.

My family get together tomorrow has been postponed. Family member woke up with a cold. What with my MS and dh being self employed they decided they better not share with us.
I'm relieved because I'm a bit run down today and there were lots of jobs to do for tomorrow.

I was kind of looking forward to the challenge of potentially pouring vodka away. Just to really prove to myself I can do this. Does that sound daft? It could have gone the wrong way.

My dh is being vague about whether he's stopping or just having a break. I suppose another couple of weeks until we reschedule will mean he won't have the temptation of wine (that guests will bring) and I won't have to watch him drink it and feel left out.
Hope all your weekends go well.

Well done to everyone whether on day, week, month or year 1 or 2 or more. Welcome to the bew folks. It is the start of a life changing path.

Been dipping in and lovely to see the support.

Beautiful day here, I have the weekend off and got DD1, DD2 and baby grandson joining us for a BBQ. Can't wait. Hasn't even entered my head to drink. I like that feeling. There is some nosecco but there is also ginger beer which sounds even more refreshing.

hangingover great to hear from you. If you get time on the day with the wedding then do pop on and let us celebrate your 2 years with you.

I have a wedding to go to in a few weeks and really looking forward to it. I think that before, when I was drinking, I'd get social anxiety more about these things because i think deep down I was worried I'd over do the booze and make an arse of myself. And of course, that social anxiety meant I drank more to get over it and was indeed more likely to overdo it and make an arse of myself. I realised I don't have that about this wedding. Just delighted to be there to celebrate and dance and catch up with people. Funny how I got that muddled up in my head and made it worse with alcohol rather than better. Strange old creatures us humans

Had my first river swim this week. Just a dunk and a 10 minute swim but it was bliss.

Happy sunny and dry Saturday everyone.

@JennyAct3 commiserations on the oil seed rape fields. They are a nightmare. My mum was telling me how beautiful they were on a recent day trip. They are only beautiful if you don't have allergies!

@Breathmiller
"I think that before, when I was drinking, I'd get social anxiety more about these things because i think deep down I was worried I'd over do the booze and make an arse of myself. And of course, that social anxiety meant I drank more to get over it and was indeed more likely to overdo it and make an arse of myself."

That's very relatable xx

Day 1 went well yesterday, especially with it being a Friday night! Had an early night and read a book (well, a few pages anyway!) which I haven't done for a long time!

Hope everyone's enjoying the lovely weather

Aww that's brilliant @changingforthebetter3
Enjoying the nice weather here too albeit from indoors. Beats looking at rain battering off the windows

@JesusSufferingFuck22 yes beats the rain sometimes I do like a bit of rain! So my first test was today as we went out to a pub lunch just us 4 (2 kids and DH) he had beer I had AF Becks blue was ok I guess nothing special but I'm feeling sleepy now! Went for a food shop and got those trip drinks I talk about i don't anything better than alcohol! Now they're watching footie and DH drinking wine plus he's going out tonight and I don't want him to! He disturbs me when he comes home late and then I cant sleep after. And he never comes home when he says etc. Just gives me anxiety.

@Namechanged12344 Well dont on the lunch out challenge xx
I like a bit of rain too. Too many days of sun is just not natural
With your dh going out at least you've got some peace to watch Eurovision

*well done🤦🏻‍♀️

Thanks for the nice post @Breathmiller I can’t wait to feel like this:

Hasn't even entered my head to drink. I like that feeling

Well done @changingforthebetter3 Day 1 is just great because you know it’s the start of a better you .

I’m only on Day 13 (but it feels longer tbh!).

I’ve been feeling quite anxious and pre-menstrual and it makes me realise that I really need to not drink. I’m prone to anxiety and depression so alcohol is the last thing I need. I’m hoping the antidepressants will be more effective without alcohol.

I know it won’t be easy all the time but it’s good to be here and trying.

Just finished reading the posts. It's great to see how everyone is doing and how similar all the stories are. We all have our reasons for drinking and ultimately stopping. It's lovely to know how we are feeling similar symptoms.
I have posted a long time ago now and so occasional posts on other threads. I am day 124 today, after many many failed attempts something has finally clicked. I know it can so easily change but I have never felt better although, I am so very tired again and reading the thread it seems that others feel the same

Anyway well done to everyone, it really is a battle.

@Nouveaunew thank you, I'm also hoping that my anxiety levels improve. Almost two weeks is brilliant!

Hi @Nouveaunew day 14 for you today look at you! I am trying to book an appt with GP to help with my moods. I'm day 13! I have had a massive headache for 2 days now and woke up with one (possibly teeth grinding and stress) but my DH who had 2 pints and nearly 2 bottles of wine last night has no headache . And I remember I never used to get headaches. Mine was purely the anxiety in middle of night and making wrong decisions when I was drinking I never had a headache and now.im getting them fml. Also possibly to do with periods. Who knows. Why us women get fucked over most of the time I will never know!
I was on another thread day 1 but a lot moderate there and it's triggering me thinking why can't I moderate. And getting me sad. Like is this my life now. When I'm constantly busy I don't think about it it's just when I see others and say I missed out on another night out yesterday as it was all about drinking I'm on a group chat and they're messaging drunk at 1am like wow girls great night and had such a blast etc etc lol I KNOW I don't need drink to have fun but I don't know I guess it's raw.
Well done @changingforthebetter3 ! You are doing so great !
Always nice to hear from you @Rupertpenrysmistress hope you are well and bloody well done for 124/125 days can't wait to get there!
Happy Sunday all

@Rupertpenrysmistress bloody well done! I remember your stops and starts and I am so glad you've got through the horrible first part this time. If you can do that, it gets progressively easier. Can you say what made it different on this go?

rupertpennymistress well done on your 125 days! That's amazing. So good to see you back on here and doing so well.

Nouveau well done on your 15 dats. Now you can officially sat you are into weekS! How amazing is that.

There's no huge secret to thise of us that are longer. Just the same, take each day as it comes and these days become weeks, then months then before you know it you're looking at a year and beyond.

I have had a lovely weekend. Over ate at the BBQ a bit yesterday but that's pretty normal I'd say. What's great is that when my daughters are down, one doesn't drink anyway but I think the other one quite likes the opportunity to not drink. She joined me in nosecco and some lovely M&S soft drinks she brought. We didn't miss alcohol at all. Dh had beer and DS a couple too. Then a bit of Eurovision. All of the day was great fun. None of the day would have been improved with alcohol. And I get to enjoy today too because I won't spend it recovering or hiding.

Happy Sunday all.

One day I will learn to proof read, i promise.

Hi Name 👋. Madcat it is difficult to say what was different this time as breathmiller says it's not usually just one thing.

If I think back I can say I was sick of constantly thinking about alcohol, is it to early to have a drink? How much have I got in? Not working tomorrow that's a great reason and worst, wherever we went I would think where can I get a drink? Now, I know that makes me sound awful and I did clearly have a drink problem but, I always convinced myself I was ok, I never missed work, didn't start early in the morning, didn't drink everyday. However, the lost quality time with my family, wasted days recovering and the ongoing anxiety were evident I did have a huge problem. I was very selfish.

The biggest change was admitting to myself I have a huge problem and cannot drink again EVER.

I started to be kind to myself and celebrate little wins. When I saw the benefits it became self fulfilling. I know I can slip and am aware of this. I did Initially avoid social events until I felt strong enough to deal with it. I still find the initial stand at the bar 'tricky' but it passes quickly. I had a lovely af cider in a pub garden yesterday with DH & DS and it felt great.

I don't listen to quit lit to much now but did religiously at the beginning. I really love Craig Beck and I did take all of his recommended supplements for 3 months.

Naechanged123444 just thinking, can you mute the WhatsApp notifications temporarily so you don't have to see what your friends are up to. What would be amazing, would be to see the messages real time the next day bet the messages would not be so funny and enjoyable. Have a great day everyone.

Yesterday was hard. I feel the like the world and his wife were out enjoying a drink in the sunshine. I live near two very "posh" pubs and they were heaving. Doesn't help that I walked past them several times (dropping various kids to various activities at different times). The neighbours were all out clinking beers and pouring prosecco. I just wanted to scream. The irony being I never daytime drink, I hate drinking in the heat / sunshine and my drink of choice is a heavy red which really isn't a drink you crack open on a hot summers afternoon. Still it made me grumpy.

So I celebrated my 90 days with an AF beer on a friends terrace and a cheeky Nandos from Deliveroo 😜

@Rupertpenrysmistress everything you say resonates very deeply with me. Drinking was always in the back of my mind. Did I have enough in? Was "my" wine on special and how many bottles could I carry? I'd rush through the kids bedtime routine so I could open up. I didn't drink everyday, I didn't drink until the evening, I never missed work, the kids never missed any clubs or events. Yet it dominated my life - the thinking about it, planning for it, facilitating it. I was exhausted, fatter , depressed, anxious and just very sad and lonely.

I'm still in the early days but I'm so bloody glad to be out of that horrible cycle.

Day 10.

@changingforthebetter3 I have taken up reading every night too and going to bed much earlier. Biggest benefit for me so far is waking up in the early hours catastrophising has stopped completely. Like others said there is a relief in not constantly checking how many bottles I have in, waiting for 6 pm to pour a glass of wine. Freedom and relief. In 2 weeks I will have a week completely alone (dog here) as DH is away and kids have DofE stuff. I have decided to get a plan for those days so I am not tempted to sneakily drink.

Spoke to DS who is sitting A levels at the moment, he is the only one who comments on my drinking. He is very pleased I have stopped but in the same breath asked me how long for, he clearly thinks it needs to be for months not days! He is a very sweet chilled out fellow so it’s very out of character for him to be stern.

Keep going everyone.

Hey all just really quickly checking in! Haven’t read all the most recent posts but wow well done on 125 days @Rupertpenrysmistress! (I recognise your name from before)

And did someone mention @HangingOver is having a 2 year anniversary coming up?!?🤩

I’m really well, getting lots of sleep and exercise and fresh air. Bath times and early bed times keep me happy, I’m sad🤣

Sorry I didn’t catch up with all the messages but I hope everyone is well, newbies especially.

Wow, busy on here and I have not fully caught up yet. Small wobble this week when I opened the fridge to find a couple of cans of beer that a house guest had left behind. Whereas the alcohol free beer that I wanted was not there. I walked away and did something else until the feeling passed. It’s weird because I never fancy dh’s wine any more, can’t stand the smell of it any more.

Thank you to the poster a few days back who talked about what we’d say if we answered the “why aren’t you drinking?” question honestly. That really, really made me stop and examine my reasons, and realise that they are still good reasons despite being 18 months old now. For me: “Alcohol stops my hrt working properly and leaves me flushed and hot and awake in the night. I hate being pink and bloated. I can’t moderate, and even on the days when I didn’t have a drink I was still thinking about drinking/not drinking. It’s a carcinogen. It disrupted my health, finances and happiness in both the short term and the long term.” That’s a bit long so I normally tell people that it clashes with my hrt and I’d rather have the hrt than the hangovers.

@SavBbunny love your corner shop story. Hello to everyone especially those in the early days. It gets better.

@JennyAct3 I over think things when i wake in the night too, hopefully this will stop soon for me too then. Well, I've spent the whole day tidying the house and having a clear out. Feeling very productive today

Thanks @Namechanged12344 and @Breathmiller I do feel delighted to be able to say 'I'm off the booze for two weeks now.' I've actually put on weight as I've been compensating with food so much but I know my sugar and junk cravings will calm down and some kind of equilibrium will be reached. Temptation is everywhere, there is no doubt. Even tonight when I saw a friend, she said, 'oh go on, just have a glass.' It was quite hard not to go 'ah go on so' but I'm SO GLAD I didn't.

Congratulations @Crunchymum Way to stay strong in the face of temptation. I'd feel the same. I love the idea of day drinking (as opposed to the head-thumping reality!).

I like your answer to my question about the honest answer to why we're not drinking @Blackberryblossom If it stops HRT from working, that's a bloody good reason in itself. I find the same - I find I have to keep reminding myself of the reasons I'm doing this even though I'm 'only' two weeks in (but two weeks feels like a serious win for me to be honest).

Good idea about going to the GP @Namechanged12344 My anxiety is high right now and I'm not sleeping well - not what I was expecting but I guess I just need to ride it out.

Stay strong everyone. Breathe through the cravings! A booze-free weekend down for us all 😎