The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life!

[ChampooPapi]

Adm1010

Hello all

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling

So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile

Thank you to @Adm1010 for hosting the last thread 💜

And here’s to the next 40 pages grin

Day 30. Am treating myself to a spa treatment today to celebrate.

Feels like dangerous days though, as I’m starting to get complacent. Caught myself thinking at the weekend “Ooh, I feel great! Imagine how great I’d feel with a glass of wine!”. Nooooo.

Oooh a Spa treatment is a great way to celebrate. Massive congratulations on your 30 days milestone onewildandpreciouslife

Noticing these thoughts and not reacting to them is a fantastic step forward too. These thoughts get less and less but still do come in now and again. And I know now that I don't need to act on them. That's quite empowering.

Just checking in as this had dropped off my TIO, I haven't posted for so long. Just back from a first foreign holiday since covid/quitting alcohol. It was interesting to note all the points in the holiday when I would have had a drink - many of them. I wasn't tempted. Too hot, kids too hyper. I have no idea how I managed to fit booze in to a holiday, before!

Hello @Touty and @HangingOver 🙂

Hello to Newbies. Get your toolbox organised and plan what you are going to do when the little voice pipes up that one won't hurt, or a boozy friend tries to persuade you to join in.

Congrats @SmellyWellyWoo and @Piglet89 on a week and five days AF respectively! I found those first days the hardest so well done for sticking with it.

Had a nice enough Easter weekend and no temptation to drink. Even went out with DH for a set menu for two at a local restaurant which included two glasses of wine and quite happily gave 'mine' to DH!

I will admit though to feeling slightly deflated after the weekend. Most of my friends' socialising centres (directly or indirectly) around drinking - pubs, gigs, all-night parties etc. Loads of this going on over the weekend and yet I barely saw anyone or did anything... it's not that I worry about temptation, more that I don't find drunk people that fun to be around and also seem to lack the stamina needed to stay up until the early hours when sober!

Not really sure what to do about this... Is changing the way I socialise/who I socialise with just inevitable? Anyone else ever feel like this?

I think it’s a common problem @SAB10. I’m reading “Sober on a Drunk Planet” at the moment, and he talks about the “sober cull”:

“This quote from Rikki Gale is relevant here: “I used to walk into a room full of people and wonder if they liked me… now I look around and wonder if I like them.””

I’m finding it a really helpful read - I think it’s newish, and is free or very cheap on kindle. I’m highlighting a lot!

Hope everyone has a good bank holiday x

@SAB10

I have decided (at least in the early days) that changing how I socialise is the way forward. My husband and I have both been invited to a thing in another city which is like a party for all those who missed their 40th. We have no childcare so will have to drag our very active toddler up for the weekend and probably get another family member to care for him. Plus it will just be a gigantic piss up: everyone will be hammered.

My husband can go alone and I will stay at home and look after our son. Much less hassle. I’m likely to be the only sober one there and it’ll just be incredibly boring, I’m afraid.

Afternoon all.
100 days for me today.
I am going to bow out at this point but thank you all for your tremendous support.
I don't have a desire to get drunk or drag home buckets of wine. I just know i cannot live without an occasional glass of my beloved champers and that is not in the spirit of this thread.
@Onewildandpreciouslife made a statement this afternoon that hit home. The walking into a room of people.
I always wanted to be liked, appreciated, valued. I made myself fit in or become the entertainment or drinks buyer.
These past few months have opened my eyes to real friends and genuine support. I am continuing with my therapist and will be using the same quit lit to keep on going.
Hopefully I will be OK.
I wish you all well. SAV x

Good luck SavBbunny wishing you well on your road of moderation. If you ever change your mind feel free to rejoin.

@SavBbunny well done on 100 days and good luck for the future.
You sound well prepared to moderate which is not someting many of us do.

Good luck @SavBbunny. You’ve inspired me in many ways over the last few months- thank you

Good luck @SavBbunny! You’ve been such a lovely presence on this thread, I wish you all the best!!!

Not caught up with the rest of the thread yet as just back from hols, but I wanted to quickly wish SavBbunny well xxx

Just scrolled back a bit, @Touty yes I remember you how have you been?
And @HangingOver so nice to see you here! Love AF Corona!

@Drybird2020 it’s encouraging to hear about your holiday abroad, well done. I also enjoy sober holidays so much more, not sure how I managed to control the overexcited kids before whilst tipsy! Or hungover!

Hope everyone is well.

Wising you well SavBbunny
You do what you need to do.

I guess I was hoping the further you go, the easier it gets.

My 100 days, if I get there, is the day before my birthday. Kind of hoping by then I'll be so happy being AF, it won't be a chore to have a sober birthday.

60 + days and I still struggle with the idea of doing certain things AF (birthday being one of them)

Hey everyone, hope you have all had a good easter weekend.

Hubby and me went to a pub for lunch today. A lady at the table next to us had a glass of prosecco/cava and I was surprised and very pleased it gave me no cravings!! Was quite surreal.

@Crunchymum everyone is different but many of us long time sober people have certainly found it easier as time goes by! At 60 days I was doing okay but still found the idea for forever scary. Like you there were occasions I couldn’t imagine sober. Now 2 years in I’ve done many milestones sober and have found it totally fine, if not more enjoyable! I now love sober holidays and sober Christmas! Just keep going, you may well find that the same thing is true for you.

Thanks @Crunchymum - first dry weekend has been ok, some of it even enjoyable. Went out for another hike today, which was good. Had to stop off at shops for some food on way back and was tempted by the alcohol aisle but not enough to really struggle and buy some. DP went to pub yesterday afternoon and came back with wine in the evening - I was quite strongly tempted by that but it passed quite quickly - none of it was really difficult. The real test will be this week when back at work- I am normally gagging for alcohol and oblivion during the dull old work week! So, I am bracing myself for that. After a whole day of mostly tedium I just want to escape and get wasted. Anyway, enough about me! Sounds as though everyone has had an enjoyable Easter break with no blips, which is great 💪👌. Hope everyone has a good, smooth week ahead

I hope so @BunniesBunniesBunnies and i really do appreciate the reassurance.

I'm not done here at all. In fact I see it as a new beginning. I do however feel completely out of my depth in some respects. How tragic to be such a novice to sobriety

Thank you all.
I have learnt so much and the support has been great.
We all see our future differently and to be honest on my darkest days I didn't see much point being sober. Now I look forward to it and the clarity it brings. I know my biggest trigger and it is fear. I would have said I was a big , bold extrovert but I am not really. I am scared like the little girl who was so badly bullied. The booze was a form of self medication that I thought made me stronger but it was killing me. Not my therapists words, mine from a lot of thinking.
I trust myself around drink and I really didn't think that was possible.
Believe in your futures. Good luck my friends.

@SavBbunny you are so insightful and I really appreciate your raw vulnerability when it comes to expressing your emotions here. I imagine it helps a lot of us.

Sending strength to everyone. I am slowly processing the guilt from the other weekend's indiscretion and the anxiety of DP finding out (which is extremely unlikely - only trusted friends know). Time will help.

Thank you for the advice @Drybird2020 - am thinking about toolbox now. @Piglet89 - well done on making such a sensible and self caring decision on the big 40th birthday social. Good luck @SavBbunny. Thank you for the Rikki Gale quote @Onewildandpreciouslife - that is really food for thought. @BraveFaceScaredInside - so good that you were not tempted by the lady with the fizz.

@SavBbunny all the best - it will be a loss to the thread not hearing from you
Take care

Good luck @SavBbunny and massive congrats for 100 days. Was this always the plan?

Hi ladies, I'm still here and I'm doing ok, in fact better than before. I am sober, I no longer buy alcohol to drink in the house, and I am feeling quite good. The other thing is I think my low dose hrt is working which has helped to lift my mood.

I went to visit my mum in the UK for six weeks, it was very hard being AF because there is always plenty of alcohol in the house and they drink every night. I did have several slips, but once I got home I went back to AF.

What hit me was that it is so easy to fall back into drinking everyday, and it's hard to break the habit once stuck in the cycle. I think that life is definitely easier without having to think about booze all the time. There was a time I thought I could not manage life without booze.

I still struggle to explain my non drinking to people, I'm too embarrassed to say I have a problem, I just mention that I'm on tablets.

@Fortheloveofgodwhy
Good morning, no i had intended never to drink again.
I have gone long periods in my life being able to moderate but I felt totally unable to stop the cravings after my sham redundancy. Alcohol was my friend because I felt totally alone, embarrassed, ashamed and on the scrap heep. Drink blotted that pain.
A 100 days AF was the longest time outside of pregnancy and bf I have gone in years. I remember how well I felt then and have channelled it in to the new me.
I don't intend to drink and didn't go out on my infamous 'cabbage run'.
I needed to make a plan for the future.
I know where you all are if I need support.
Have a great day. (interview for me today without a hangover and feeling positive).

Good luck for the interview too then SavB. And really good luck with the moderation. X