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Original poster

The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life!

991 replies

ChampooPapi · 23/03/2022 19:06

Adm1010

Hello all

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling

So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life smile

Thank you to @Adm1010 for hosting the last thread 💜

And here’s to the next 40 pages grin

OP posts:
SavBbunny · 01/04/2022 20:25

@Mikey555

Shame is a torturous game.
We have all done outrageous things. I am the 'phantom spanx flasher' , plus I told my sister I'll see her next at her funeral! (she's nasty so that one I don't regret).
Tomorrow is a new day. You are doing great.

horlicks4me · 01/04/2022 20:52

@Mikey555

I can't really say a lot but I can empathise. It's one since week I made a right fool of myself and felt so terrible when I was lucky enough to wake up. The feeling of shame was indescribable and today was the first day I have left the house. I'm struggling but it's eased a little. It will pass for you too. Hang on in there x

BunniesBunniesBunnies · 01/04/2022 21:27

@Mikey555 torturing yourself in that way can be quite a normal part of early sobriety. It was for me anyway. I felt absolutely awful for a while about how my drunken behaviour had affected others, and how it had affected me. I just worked on self-forgiveness and self-love (cringe! Sorry!). I also had some frank conversations with some people very close to me in the which I apologised for some of my drunk behaviour. They were very kind and forgiving. But ultimately the forgiveness that means the most is yours! You must forgive yourself. I certainly have forgiven myself. I tend to look mostly forwards now, not backwards, and I’m grateful to be sober now.
Be kind to yourself. Drink lots of water, get some sleep. You’ll start to feel better soon.

AlloftheTime · 01/04/2022 21:30

@Newmum738 125 has a lovely ring to it! Well done 👍
Glad you are enjoying the benefits of being AF
Have a good weekend

Mikey555 · 01/04/2022 22:02

Thank you for the kind replies. X

Newmum738 · 01/04/2022 23:28

@Mikey555 be kind to yourself and take it one day at a time.

Newmum738 · 01/04/2022 23:30

Had a friend over for drinks tonight and decided not to tell her I'm AF. I just made her alcoholic cocktails and me AF ones. We've both had a fab time and I think it was the right decision to not make a thing of it. I didn't want her to feel like she couldn't drink or feel strange about drinking alone. The AF cocktails were fab too!

BunniesBunniesBunnies · 02/04/2022 06:55

Well done @Newmum738 for an AF night and it’s totally your choice whether you tell people or not! Glad you had a nice time!

SavBbunny · 02/04/2022 07:20

Good morning all.

spacehardware · 02/04/2022 07:50

Morning @SavBbunny and everyone.

I nearly stumbled last night after getting a really annoying email from the recruiter I've applied for this job through - the partner in charge is now on leave for two weeks so no decision being made. Starting to think I don't actually want to work for people who can't shit or get off the pot. I didn't even reply - Just deleted all the emails back and forth about the application it in a fury. Clearly it's a no, but what a bunch of time wasters - this is a global law firm btw! The contempt of treating a professional who has spent time preparing for interviews like this. It's really rude.

Anyway I did not drink, I thought fuck no I'm worth more than this. So glad to wake up without the hangover I could have had. Beautiful sunny day so I think we are going to go to Glastonbury for a mooch and lunch out

SavBbunny · 02/04/2022 07:57

Morning @spacehardware

What a load of tossers. I am in the same position. Just bloody waiting for someone to have the courtesy to pick up the phone. I am going to be put under pressure to accept a smaller job next week as we are in the middle of house buying and I can't be freelance or have a gap.
The recruitment companies make so much money out of high earners they could at least follow up. Reminds me of estate agents!
When I have had a blip on this AF journey it makes me ill. The old bod doesn't like it!

Breathmiller · 02/04/2022 08:03

Morning all

Sorry to hear about the lack of response spacehardware but well done on not drinking.

I am on holiday!! Yay. And in true form I've already done some messages for work to keep it ticking over in my absence and now I'm bored.

I came home late last night after an emotional visit with my mum in the nursing home , a long day driving after working in the morning and a looong month of work. I'm aware that this would have been my trigger points. And after a month of no sugar I had a whole bottle of nosecco and crisps and cakes. Still got that same reaction of looking for comfort in food but they are few amd far between now. And boy would I feel a whole lot worse if it had been a whole bottle of alcohol. At least I'm bored this morning and not hungover.

mikey each step that you take dry is a step away from the shame amd regret. It will pass. It's like another thing to eade through in the early days. But it will pass. Self compassion. Self compassion. Self compassion.

Breathmiller · 02/04/2022 08:04

Wade through

Borrowbox · 02/04/2022 09:06

Morning all, sorry I have missed loads. Great to see the thread so active with lots of support.

Sorry to those struggling. Real life cam really get in the way at times!

Day 56 here, managed my sober birthday. Had serious cravings but plodded through and made it. So pleased! Now to tackle a sober holiday. Definitely odaat for me right now.

Have a lovely weekend all.

Breathmiller · 02/04/2022 09:25

Well done on your 56 days borrowbox and for treating yourself to an AF birthday.

I also have a holiday to get through. Not worried about alcohol but I don't want to fall into a vat of sugar after my month off. Not doing very well so far as we've had Brownies for breakfast!

Onewildandpreciouslife · 02/04/2022 10:03

Hello again. Second day 14 of the year here. Did Dry January then had a mixed couple of months, and decided I liked being sober more (most of the time) so have signed up for Sober Spring (20 March to 20 June). I know I work better with targets so I’m hoping that I’ll keep going after that.

But I am really struggling at the moment. There are some times that to stay AF are no problem now - I’ve done dinner parties, nice meals, pub trips and coped.

But now I am on holiday. In the countryside. Where usually my day would revolve around a walk to a country pub and wine (lots of). And the AF options are so much more limited here.

Aargh! I stayed dry last night but it was really hard. I’m running a 10k next Saturday and I’m telling myself if I drink This week I’ll always wonder if I could have gone quicker if I’d stayed dry.

I think I’m posting for accountability! I’ve been lurking here all year.

spacehardware · 02/04/2022 10:12

@Onewildandpreciouslife

Don't drink. You don't really want to, it's habit and the false narrative that relaxation/luxury/me time involves booze in some form. It doesn't.

You will not wake up on Monday wishing you had spent this weekend boozing, I promise.

spacehardware · 02/04/2022 10:13

Meant to add I love your username - we do only have one wild and previous life. Don't spend it numbed by substances

SavBbunny · 02/04/2022 10:59

@Onewildandpreciouslife

We've met before when I had a different user name. You were very helpful with a family problem. Had to change as outed and being a boozer is so personal isn't it? Welcome.

Breathmiller · 02/04/2022 11:22

Welcome onewildandpreciouslife
My favourite poet and one of my most favourite poems of hers. Your name just summed up how I feel about not drinking. I refuse to waste any more days of my one wild and precious life sinking into a heap of shame and regret at drinking. Not one more minute.

My life has really opened up since I made the decision to stop. It's like I can see clearly tbat there are other things to do with my time.

Onewildandpreciouslife · 02/04/2022 12:01

Thanks for the welcome! I changed my username in January- I used to be “toofaroutallmylife” from the poem Not Waving but Drowning as that summed me up for the last 3 years.

I used alcohol as a coping mechanism for those 3 years, but I realised that most of the problems were sorted and I’d been left with just alcohol as my problem. So I’m trying to fix that now, and a change of username seemed a good start!

I saw a Facebook post recently that said “I forgive myself for who I was in survival mode” and I think that’s helpful.

Off for a pub walk now! (I may have pudding)

SavBbunny · 02/04/2022 12:04

@Onewildandpreciouslife
Ah not the same one. I love the saying tho.
Enjoy

Breathmiller · 02/04/2022 12:21

“I forgive myself for who I was in survival mode”

I love this!

Crunchymum · 02/04/2022 14:05

Popping on to say hi.

Think I'm day 48 at the moment but gosh it's been a miserable slog. Not so much being AF but my health has been shocking. My arthritis has been flaring since January and I've been unable to walk much at all for past 10 days (seeing Rheumatology next week at least)

I feel like I've been cheated out of all the benefits of sobriety Sad

Still, I'm plodding along. I know it took me a long time to reach the "bottom" so it's going to take a while to get myself on a even keel.

I'm bloody proud I'm not drinking though.

BunniesBunniesBunnies · 02/04/2022 14:17

“I forgive myself for who I was in survival mode”

I absolutely love this!