The freedom thread ( continued ) Riding the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life!

[Adm1010]

Hello all

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

We are a supportive welcoming bunch. No question is ever to “ silly “ and their is generally someone around if you are struggling

So just come here to chat or vent or check in . Whatever you need as you ride the rollercoaster of an alcohol free life

Thankyou to bunnies for hosting the last thread.
And here’s to the next 40 pages

Hello!
I'm on day 48- I actually can't believe it.
I've been a regular drinker for years but for past couple started experiencing blackouts. When I woke up New Year's Day with no memory at all of the night before I knew something had to change ( I had gone out with my two children to a local family New Year's Eve party and a social club ) I had zero memories of getting home. Ridiculous when children were me. Enough to spur me to action though.
I have started buying alcohol free lager on a weekend when I started thinking about a drink again- does anyone else use alcohol free drinks as an alternative- I know some people say not to due to it being a slippery slope to the real thing.

@milkysmum

Hi, i use AF wine and gin. I am trying them all. I never suffered blackouts but got myself in embarrassing situations. Dancing, falling over etc. Flashed my spanx at an industry do. That one is fresh in my mind.
Well done on your 48 days.

Hello @milkysmum. Congratulations on day 48. I also used to drink to blacking out sometimes well done for making the change.

@SavBbunny is it wrong to think flashing your Spanx is funny ?

@kindtomyself
Hopefully at some point I can laugh , however better than a fat bird in a thong!

Morning .

Still feeling a bit crap but better than yesterday . Negative lateral flows . ( had covid previously and I’m vaxxed and boosted ) coughing up oysters today which is fun

Just going to chill today I think .

33 days! That is all

Hello all!

Thank you for the link @Drybird2020. I read The Sober Diaries a year or two ago and enjoyed it. I didn't know she still blogged! That is great. I will check it out. I think she went AF after her 40th bday party. I'm not far off 40. 39 at the end of this year. I also have small dcs and am more or less a SAHM now, as my work is now going to be very part time as I'm moving jobs (HALLELUJAH) and reducing hours too. Even without the reduction in hours I'd still be doing a happy dance to have escaped that last work place.

@milkysmum Well done on 48 days! That's great . I like AF gin. Not keen on AF wine except sparkly (nosecco). I don't drink AF drinks that much and usually just have a lime and soda or elderflower and tonic. Yes, I've had blackouts too. Luckily not when dcs were with me. I've passed out on the train home and missed my stop before now and that's just stupid. I also remember once, pre-kids, getting a cab home from a work night out and it was when sat nav wasn't such a big thing (2013ish) and I have no idea how I directed the driver home. It was like I was a drunken homing pigeon! Really stupid. God knows what the driver thought of me. I then got up for work the next day at 7 and vomited in the shower (nice). I've read that black outs become more common as time goes on and it will take less alcohol to give you a black out.

@SavBbunny, really glad your new boss has your back. Good for him! Your old boss is an absolute dick.

@Adm1010 sorry you're still sick. I'm not feeling great either. I think it might be my adrenalin flagging after a shitty stint at work with crap shifts, non existent management and high stress. I'm so relieved to be moving on. Actually made the decision during dry January which I don't think is coincidence. A lot of things are becoming clearer now since going sober (despite the one weekend relapse I stupidly had when I tried to moderate at the end of January ). I've gone very low contact with a truly toxic, bullying and coercive sibling as well. Perhaps not permanently, but I really hope they've got the message that we cannot keep in close contact anymore even if we manage politeness and friendliness for for sake of the rest of the family. Sounds as if I'm being self destructive here possibly, but honestly, it's the clearest headed I've felt in years and it has made me realise some things needed to change.

Dh is being supportive and got me some fancy soft drinks for the evenings. I do think I'm being a better mum too and I'm looking forward to a sober half term next week.

Day 18 here!

@GoodMuse

I have a bitter and twisted sibling (accused me of stealing my late father's money when I bought a bigger house).
I got pissed on December 27th and told my sister she was a nasty piece of work. Felt great. She had always hated me and waited for me to get drunk to abuse me. I didn't have the courage to do it sober but I would now! She used my reliance on alcohol to score points. She never offered help just criticism. I don't regret my words but it was the last binge.
If I see her at the latest family event I can look the old trout in the eye sober. It feels good. (she once peed in a wardrobe and we paid many a taxi clean when she chucked in her teens). The delight of a clear memory.

Morning all, checking in on Day 13.

My mood is finally improving, and it was so nice to read this thread. I won't reply to everyone individually but just to say I have also been gaining weight which I find shocking as I should have saved 2lbs worth of calories!

Loved the stories of savings and previous drunken purchases. I am saving loads too, quite embarrassing to think how much I wasted

I hope the colds go and people's sleep improves. We are stuck in today thanks to the storm. Hope everyone stays safe.

Sorry you've got sibling issues too @SavBbunny! Seems to be all too common.

@Borrowbox, great your mood has lifted. Need to check my app to see what money I've saved.

I'm trying not to focus on weight etc (yet). Embracing some Intuitive Eating while I focus on sobriety for the foreseeable. Tbh, I try to do IE anyway and I haven't gained weight doing that. Gained more when dieting as I tend to binge. I really am a big bundle of issues aren't I 😂😂? Anyway, will see how I go.

@GoodMuse you made me laugh with a bundle of issues! I am certainly the same. I used to be a natural intuitive eater, and then had an eating disorder in my late teens and when recovering just seemed to have lost it. My DH lost weight when we moved in together and I gained it. I have been doing 16:8 and that is at least helping me maintain for now. Can't tackle too much at once (have so many apps to sort my life out that nag me!) so will try and lose the weight, more exercise once I am more confident in my sobriety.

@Borrowbox

Yes, I had bulimia in my late teens / early twenties. Alcohol problems and eating disorders do seem to occur together based on people I know irl. My mum had both problems too, bless her.

Lovely, (well maybe that's not the right word, but hope you know what i mean), to be on a similar journey to you borrow and on a similar timescale too!

@GoodMuse I am sorry to hear you had an eating disorder too. I just barely ate and it was definitely a means of control. Thinking about it, I have had a problematic relationship with alcohol since I recovered. It seems I replaced one unhealthy coping mechanism with another's! So interesting that you say they can often both be present. I had never made the connection but it makes sense.

I am glad we can take these steps together.

day errr 12 here? i should take more notice really. I'm looking forwards to another sober weekend waking up feeling great! had my Wisebartender delivery but i haven't tried anything yet. Will do tonight i think.
I love the motto 'if i don't want to do ti sober i probably don't want to do it'
interested with the blackouts, i had a distinct increase in missing bits of the night in the last few years despite not really drinking as much - no spirits not like the 'old (uni and youth) days' is that a thing? I also lost a chunk of NYE, which was weird as i recall bits after the blanks... anyway, all done with alcohol now.

@GoodMuse eating disorders pop up on this thread from time to time. Comorbidity of alcohol and food issues is common I believe. @Borrowbox I did the reverse of what you’ve got - once I let go of alcohol as a coping mechanism I developed some pretty bad food issues. I’ve come some way in addressing them now but it remains tough.
We talked about “control” issues before on this thread, I certainly have those. I very much love to be in control of everything (work, family, exercise, food) but occasionally I’m prone to big episodes of uncontrolled behaviour. Booze was awful for this obviously.
So yeah, like another poster said, I too have a lovely bundle of issues😂 And yes I try to address them but I also accept that they are a part of me, for now. I don’t have to be perfect, I just have to be myself.

Yes, I was the "bundle of issues" poster 😄

Ah well. We may not be perfect, but at least we can laugh about it 😂😂

Day 19 here. Still getting headaches. Think it is a finishing work type bug. I haven't had time off for 4 months +, so think it is a sort of conne down from that. I have a week off with the kids now, so think my body has taken that as it's cue to collapse. Will do lots of self care this week, early nights and gentle exercise and the like.

Hope everyone else is alright. How are you now @Adm1010? Any job news @SavBbunny?

Happy Saturday as well!

Come down*

@GoodMuse I’m in work but feel like I’ve been dug up tbh! It’s quiet so far though so fingers crossed !

At least no hangover ! Silver linings …

Self care is a great plan .

I took this week off too and found myself not doing much. I feel exhausted a lot of the time. I'm also much more aware of emotions I had been suppressing, I think that's quite draining too. I've just let me self take it easy. I am not finding it difficult to stick to not drinking in that I am as determined as I was when I started. I can see so many benefits already - I'm more present with the kids, I'm cooking much nicer food, no hangovers etc etc

That all sounds really positive @sunshineforest. I'm also feeling pretty determined to stick with it, but I know it's early days for me. I do feel different this time. Keep reading about 'Pink Cloud' and hoping I'm not going to fall off mine!

Half term is next week for us, so just finished work.

@Adm1010, oh no! Can you get home early maybe?

Morning all,

Six weeks AF. I have done eight weeks four years ago so trying to beat that.

Had a Gordon's 0% last night. I love it and that is weird because I don't do Gin. Use to make me cry.
@GoodMuse
New job has taken an amazing turn. I have a new consumer product in development. Could be a career high.
Clear head delivers great ideas.

Reading Again Rachel. So far not as funny as the original.
Happy weekend all. X

That's amazing @SavBbunny!!! How things can just suddenly change. Well done you

Hello all... may I join you? Long-time thread-lurker here, which really helped me with a few good runs of AF time last year. I was never brave enough to post though. I very nearly hit the 3 month mark last autumn then went into emotional meltdown after being 'played' by a guy and fell off the wagon. Sooo frustrated with myself for that, especially as I'd quit smoking for ages too and bought a couple of packets around that time to 'help'. But I quickly quit that again at least. Then xmas happened and old habits died hard with the booze and here I am on Day 1 again. I'm hopeful that my previous stints of 'practice' last year will stand me in good stead for what's to come. I'm so inspired by you all and want to hold myself accountable here. And hopefully I can offer support too!

My world seems to have got smaller and smaller over the last couple of years with booze filling the void. But onward! I'm finally breaking free as I know I felt so much better without it. And like many here, I didn't lose any weight to start with as I was compensating by eating all the sugar. But once I stopped that too, the weight started to go. Right... coffee then mucking out my house! Happy Saturday all :)

Hello @LipstickCat! Yes, I've been on and off, trying to quit, then deciding I can moderate or just saying "fuck it, why bother"? A total merry go round for me too. Really feeling determined now. This thread is helping and there is also a really strong sober community on Instagram if you're on there. Really helpful as sometimes you need some support from other people trying not to drink. There isn't a lot irl ime, so I'm really glad to have found it online

Welcome @LipstickCat!