The Freedom Thread (Continued) - Enjoying the positives of an alcohol free life *Title edited by MNHQ*

[BunniesBunniesBunnies]

Hello all,

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

I hope to see many familiar names on this thread, and some new ones too! We always welcome anyone to share their feelings, ask questions or simply “check in”🙂

I’d also like to thank @Breathmiller for hosting the last thread (and to ask for your forgiveness for shamelessly stealing your thread title😳) - Thank you @Breathmiller 💐

Thanks all!

Bunnies

Well done @StoppedWineIng, keep going one day at a time👍

Well done stoppedwineing .

Day 4 for me and just left client drinks (work in advertising, half the problem right there!) after having a mocktail and 2 tonics and very proud of myself. Got some wild cravings for rose thanks to the sun beforehand but knew it was just my anxiety sparking.

Welcome @stonycove - I've been where you are (many times) and then worse (passing out in a bush) and believe me, you don't want this to continue as it will only get worse as your tolerance increases and you need more and more alcohol to get a buzz/relax etc. Great that you have recognised this and decided to stop.

Day 13 for me and feeling mentally and physically great. The atmosphere in the house is really good again and both DC are talking to me again. I'm doing a marcothon (run 3 miles or for 25 minutes every day in December) so it is day 7 of that and it is amazing how much my fitness has come on in just a week. Been eating a lot of rubbish/chocolate/crisps etc when I went AF - big bag of giant chocolate buttons on a Saturday night as a weekend treat as not drinking etc - but I am now knocking that on the head too and starting to eat more healthily.

Happy Tuesday everyone - who everyone is doing well and if you are not, post here and let us know so that we can support you

Hi all,

I would like to join you on this thread too please if that's ok. I have been a problem drinker for years, ever since I first started drinking really. I have 2 primary school aged children a pretty demanding full time job and am a single parent (although ex does have kids).

I have got my midweek drinking largely under control (I don't drink most nights although if I happen to go out that's a different story) but weekends are still a big problem. I just have no off switch and end up drinking to blackout regularly, more so when I don't have the kids. I think part of it is boredom and just never knowing any different way of living. I am really hungover at least 3/4 days a week (every sat, sun and continuing into Monday as a minimum) and just cannot cope with it any more, with feeling so Ill and with the anxiety. I also want to be much more present for my kids and am really concerned about them starting to notice the drinking which may cause them to have their own issues with alcohol in due course as it would become normalised for them.

I've tried to moderate in the past but it never works at all so I am going to do my best to abstain completely. It will be hard but so worth it I'm sure.

Sending lots of love to you all xx

Welcome dallasdays

Your story feels very familiar to many of our stories on here.

I also am pleased that my not drinking affects my kids as they grow up. My 18 yr old ds was having a moan about his dad the other day and says he hates how much he drinks. I had had no idea he saw it as an issue. I'm so glad that I'm modelling better behaviour round alcohol than I used to. Ds went through a phase of getting drunk with his mates a few years ago but has decided it's not for him. So pleased he's reached that place a lot sooner than I did in life. He has a couple of beers now and again at the weekend but very rarely more than 2 if ever. Usually one then stops. Totally impressed with him.

Thank you for all the lovely welcomes! I've spent a good chunk of my free time today reading back the earlier threads as suggested by @Breathmiller , picking up lots of books recommendations and tips. @CardinalCat thank you for the tip to write down the Whys, I did that today and I was brutally honest so if I am tempted I can look over it! I'm very tired today but I suppose that's the knock on effect of the weekend's stupidity.

Welcome @Dallasdays! Why donuts think you tend to drink like that on weekends? Are you trying to fill a void when your children are with their dad? I might be totally wrong, but most of us drink/drank like that for a reason and it helps to find out the reason.
Anyway you are in good company here, many of us have been where you’ve been.

@Breathmiller that’s so good about your son.

Checking in.Day 42.Seeing day 50 in sight.Husband drinking port with Stilton last night was my first big craving.Had a cup of tea instead and a mincepie.Helps me to think of it as poison as someone else said on these threads.Have a party at thd weekend Taking Sipsmith AF gin and reading sober lit beforehand The fact ot is so hard shoes how bloody addictive it is.

ChrisPackamsPoodle well done at being around dh last night, I find winter cheese and biscuits and a port or sherry a challenge too. I have the added challenge of being vegan and GF.

But last year I mixed the AF ginger wine that my friend makes me with an AF liquer from M&S. I don't remember what it was unfortunately but I'm hoping I can find it again this year, it was delicious and hit the spot. It was warm and rich.

It was eaten with a blue vegan cheese from an artisan handmade place in Edinburgh and it totally felt like I was having what dh was having.

I'm hoping to recreat that moment this Christmas.

Great to see that 50 days is in view, fantastic!

I am 17 months today. This time next month I will be a year and a half. Can't quite believe that by summer it will be 2 years. Best decision I ever made. It's just my (much better) way of life now.

Hello all. I've not been on here much in the last couple of weeks. I've started a thread about issues I'm having with 'd' h which definitely contributed to my drinking to try and cope. However I have always used drinking (and smoking in the past) to cope with emotions so can't blame anyone for my drinking. I'm not even blaming myself for it, I've realised it was me trying to cope with life as I hadn't had the support growing up. It's actually made me realise how strong I am/we all are, it takes resilience to deal with the ups and downs of life and we're all trying our bloody best. I have to say I feel so much better facing up to issues rather than shoving them away (or trying to) with alcohol- it just doesn't work!!! Have just read back on the thread so feel like I've caught up. I am 3 months AF and it's going well.

@Kindtomyself congrats on the 3 month mark, bloody brilliant! I'm so sorry to see your having issues with your DH, I haven't seen your other thread yet. Would you prefer us to avoid it because of this one? Or do you want our input? All the best to you and you really are an inspiration with three months under your belt

Well done kindtomyself
Sorry to hear that you are having issues with your dh.

I agree that not drinking makes us face up to issues in our life. And it's hard.

I have had a rollercoaster of emotions in the last week as I've been forced to face the challenging person i have had in my life for a while now. I have to admit that I wanted to run away from it all, it was horrible (but didn't think to drink which is good).

But it wasn't a choice I had anymore and I had to face them in an organised meeting. And I am proud of how I acted in the face of some seriously challenging behaviours.

I now think that it wasn't a case of being 'made to' or 'forced' into a difficult situation (by the organiser of the meeting) but that facing my demons and my triggers has actually 'allowed' me to grow. Grow resilience, strength, self belief and self compassion and much much more.

I don't think I would have handled it all as I have if I was still drinking. In fact, like has been said before we push down our feelings with so many different practices - alcohol, drugs, food, avoidance etc..I probably would not have done it. Or I would have gone into collapse at it all.

But when we turn and face our issues, even though it is hard when you are in the thick of it, there are lessons to be learned.

I do hope that you can see a way through for your own peace of mind and self compassion.

[quote ChampooPapi]@Kindtomyself congrats on the 3 month mark, bloody brilliant! I'm so sorry to see your having issues with your DH, I haven't seen your other thread yet. Would you prefer us to avoid it because of this one? Or do you want our input? All the best to you and you really are an inspiration with three months under your belt[/quote]
Thanks. Glad to see you're doing well too. I don't mind if you want to read the other thread/comment on it. It's totally up to you all, whatever you're comfortable with . I just wanted to be open about it really.

@Breathmiller

Well done kindtomyself Sorry to hear that you are having issues with your dh.

I agree that not drinking makes us face up to issues in our life. And it's hard.

I have had a rollercoaster of emotions in the last week as I've been forced to face the challenging person i have had in my life for a while now. I have to admit that I wanted to run away from it all, it was horrible (but didn't think to drink which is good).

But it wasn't a choice I had anymore and I had to face them in an organised meeting. And I am proud of how I acted in the face of some seriously challenging behaviours.

I now think that it wasn't a case of being 'made to' or 'forced' into a difficult situation (by the organiser of the meeting) but that facing my demons and my triggers has actually 'allowed' me to grow. Grow resilience, strength, self belief and self compassion and much much more.

I don't think I would have handled it all as I have if I was still drinking. In fact, like has been said before we push down our feelings with so many different practices - alcohol, drugs, food, avoidance etc..I probably would not have done it. Or I would have gone into collapse at it all.

But when we turn and face our issues, even though it is hard when you are in the thick of it, there are lessons to be learned.

I do hope that you can see a way through for your own peace of mind and self compassion.

Great that you faced the challenging person. It's amazing to realise what we can achieve when we're not trying to run away from 'scary' stuff. I'm observing triggers too and it's really interesting. You are so right about how these situations help us to grow.

@Breathmiller thank you.I'll check out M&S.Trying to arm myself with as many strategies as possible around Christmas. It's inspirational to hear how long you have been sober.@Kindtomyself well done on 3 months.Myself and my husband are having to find new ways of communicating and spending time together....we've only known each other as drinkers and it's been a huge part of our relationship and life really.

Checking in ✅

Just checking in. Well done everyone!

Evening all.

Day 35 for me (and 15 before that but I fell off the wagon), but feeling well into month 2 and very happy about it. As a PP said, I sort of wanted a cosy red while putting the tree up last night but it passed and I had a fancy tonic water instead.

Welcome again to all the new people, and congrats to everyone still going and still making the same positive choice everyday.

Really looking forward to Christmas as enjoying the time off rather than the hangovers!

Evening!! Had my work Christmas party yesterday. The last one I went to was in 2019, which was a 2pm lunch for the whole department. At noon I started putting on makeup at my desk while knocking back shots of tequila. I drank a whole litre bottle of tequila between me and my colleague before we left for the lunch at 1.45. I only vaguely recall the restaurant and nothing I can remember about the party afterwards makes me feel warm and fuzzy. I was nervous yesterday about telling them that I wasn't drinking but it was fine. I got a bit of a grilling from the people sitting immediately next to me at the dining table but it was soon old news and I really enjoyed myself, and I felt genuinely quick witted- when I'm drunk I think Im a stand up comedian and tend to "hold court" and I'm so embarrassed now, thinking about how I must have come across in the past. It was so good to wake up today without the fear!! And to nail yoga this morning and then a full productive day of work when everyone else was hanging.

Another big challenge is coming this weekend- corporate hospitality at a fairly big sporting event. Im on the sponsors table with the star speaker/ sporting hero, and I'm sure they expect me to be on my usual wild and live cracking form. I won't drink although I know I'll be tempted. What I'm really keen to achieve is that "bubbly/ sparky/ naughty/gregarious" buzz that I get after a glass or two (before I start becoming a crashing bore, as I do after drink 3.) but without the booze. Basically I want the moon on a stick! I need to find my confidence and enter into the fun as best I can. Dear lord I wish I'd said I couldn't go.

Let's keep at it, my dry friends. We may not be knocking back the shots, but we are sitting with our feelings and appreciating each moment in our lives- good or bad- raw and unfiltered. You have to feel before you heal. Time for a sleepy tea for me!

I nearly forgot, I was in Tesco earlier and they have The Power of Now by Elkhart Tolle for a fiver (which is bargainous compared to Amazon.) I've listened to some of his lectures and been dying to read this. It's not a sobriety book but is supposedly very good re enlightenment which, let's face it, is what will keep us sober if we can get our heads around it.

Ive had a major incentive to stay AF (won’t share it as it’s too outing) but safe to say if this doesn’t serve as major wake up call very little else will. Congrats on your Xmas party, mine was the trigger for my latest (& please god final) attempt at going AF.

Day 11 for the work Christmas party yesterday! We went to a board game cafe so it was nice to have something healthy to focus on. I'm so happy that everywhere seems to have good AF options these days. The venue had a range of options and the pub we went on to had a good supply of Heineken 0.0 so it was all good. I felt a bit nervous at the beginning but I actually wasn't tempted to drink. If I'd been drinking I'm sure I would have had massive anxiety today and definitely would have had a hangover. I'm still feeling tired but great to know that it's just from a busy night! Off to note how good I'm feeling now :)

I'm checking in. Congratulations to all those starting your AF life now, and to all of us looking forward to a sober Christmas! It really is a gift.

Who was it on here who taught me to make kombucha?! I wish I could remember so I could say a proper thanks. I'm going to bottle some up today and keep it in the fridge for Christmas, it's my new special drink and the rest of the family love it too.

@Drybird2020

I'm checking in. Congratulations to all those starting your AF life now, and to all of us looking forward to a sober Christmas! It really is a gift.

Who was it on here who taught me to make kombucha?! I wish I could remember so I could say a proper thanks. I'm going to bottle some up today and keep it in the fridge for Christmas, it's my new special drink and the rest of the family love it too.

Ooh I fancy trying to make kombucha. Is it tricky?

Day 15 checking in - on the bus so won’t name check but Hope everyone is well.

First cravings last night when out grocery shopping - resisted and bought nice AF drinks instead. Watched Rain in my Heart on YouTube - very sad and shocking film about alcoholism - and was near to tears but it really made me soooooo so happy I didn’t cave. I’m only about a third of the way through and it’s extremely sad but I should put it on every time I feel like drinking.

Happy Thursday everyone KOKO❤️💪