The Freedom Thread (Continued) - Enjoying the positives of an alcohol free life *Title edited by MNHQ*

[BunniesBunniesBunnies]

Hello all,

This is a thread for people who have decided that life is much better without alcohol!🤩 These threads were started by @Drybird, and they have changed the lives of many people.

Some posters on these threads have been sober for a long time, and some are only just starting. We are a very friendly and inclusive bunch and we are always excited when someone new joins the thread. The only thing we ask is that our posters have given up alcohol completely. Talk of moderation can be triggering for some people, so this thread is not the right place for that (there are other moderation threads🙂).

I hope to see many familiar names on this thread, and some new ones too! We always welcome anyone to share their feelings, ask questions or simply “check in”🙂

I’d also like to thank @Breathmiller for hosting the last thread (and to ask for your forgiveness for shamelessly stealing your thread title😳) - Thank you @Breathmiller 💐

Thanks all!

Bunnies

Ah OK, thanks. I might not get those. Will see what else I can find. I know what you mean @PrisonerofZeroCovid. They do all seem to be written by similar people. Maybe books by ordinary people wouldn't sell? Or maybe they have more contacts in publishing.

I got rid of my kindle, (sold it to Cex), as I just prefer physical book, so not sure how I do samples...maybe on my phone?

Thanks @SavBbunny. I like looking at it as an illness and not feeling bad about doing nothing! Sorry about your job. I do not have a big cheese job. I'm a very little cheese. A babybel if you will , or one of those mini bries if I'm feeling classy / continental. But even that sort of job, which honestly is meant to be a fun job, I'm finding exhausting ATM.

Can i recommend Rachel's Holiday for some light relief? I read it decades ago and there is a sequel out next month. So funny and normal. Marion Keys is a recovering alcoholic not sure how much is based on her experiences but it is laugh out loud stuff.

Oh yes, I think someone recommended Saved By Cake by Marian Keyes, in the last Dry January thread. Thank you, I will see if I can find that and the Rachel's one secondhand

Grande Fromage or Baby Bel?
@LuisaMadrigal1

I will use this with an acid tongued friend whose husband is a knobend. New job? His is better. New house? They didn't buy more than their needs blah blah. Last time I went to lunch with her, had to have a bellini as the clock struck twelve!
They will have a field day if I confess to being a soak. So will say WLS diet.

Ugh, I hate it when people are like that

Say whatever you have to to get through it!

I'd be tempted to make something up to outdo him, every time , but probably wouldn't really.

Day 9 AF and struggling at the witching hour between 6 and 7. Resisting by having an AF drink. Hoping it gets easier?

I found 9 days in quite tricky too @Shortkiwi. The novelty is wearing off a bit, but the benefits aren't visible yet. I've found it easier after 2 weeks I think, except the tiredness.

I've ordered the Marian Keyes books recommended by @SavBbunny and I'm really looking forward to getting them. Little things like that are pulling me through

@SavBbunny sounds awful! Why see them? I’ve got rid of friends that I didn’t want to see sober. A good litmus test of friendship.

Evening all, I hope it’s ok if I join. I am day 1, but finding the posts here inspiring….

May I ask if people don’t mind sharing, how did you approach sharing with people that you were taking this challenge on? I haven’t even told my partner

@LynnDaBogTrotter Think you could say you were joining in with dry Jan for health reasons. Lots of people do dry Jan, it’s a popular thing to do. If you want to carry on after this you could say that you are feeling so much better and enjoying the benefits of being AF.

I’m also really scared Ill be judged, even by my partner

@Shortkiwi it does get easier after 2 weeks honest, you will just get out of the habit

Hello @LynnDaBogTrotter

I haven't told anyone, but have hinted at it with dh. When it comes to seeing other people, I'll just say I'm off the sauce for a bit. Can't imagine any sensible person being a twat about it. I like @doorornottodoor's litmus test as well

Checking in 32 days 👍 sober

I just realised that yesterday was a month to the day that I had a drink and a blow out when I drank a whole bottle of gin in one night.

I've had a lot of time to think about my life and sit with feelings and thoughts over the last month. I've been trying to think who I was before alcohol; to do this I realize that I have to go back to my teenage years. I used to be interested in things, I used to have hobbies etc, from about 22 I just sat on the sofa and drank every night. Then came a stressful job, trying to live and pay bills suffering with chronic depression and alcohol became my release every night.

I had no education about alcohol, I had no idea it was a depressant and what that meant, I had no clue about how dangerous it was. Both my parents were problem drinkers and so it was normalised. I remember drinking gin and tonic with my mother from m the age of 16.

@LynnDaBogTrotter I just tell people I can't drink at the moment as I'm on tablets and can't mix with alcohol, this is true for me.

Wow @Touty 32 days is amazing! Bloody well done you x

Thanks @LynnDaBogTrotter

@LynnDaBogTrotter I have told people I'm doing the OYNB 90 day challenge as a personal challenge (true, but haven't told them I intend to go further than the 90 days). I haven't really expanded on why. Problem is that few people realise how much I drink because they only really see me when I'm out whereas a lot of my drinking is at home, so they are likely to minimise the issue. I think there's also still this idea that if you're holding down a job, getting the DC to school and not falling down flights of stairs or getting into fights outside pubs that you don't have a problematic relationship with alcohol. That said, my friendship group is likely to be pretty accepting- I have a few friends who have had periods of not drinking at all when they've had a lot going on in their lives and needed to be fully present and have mental clarity.

@SavBbunny I totally forgot about Rachel's holiday- it's hilarious. I'm going to download and re-read it. I like the Marion Keyes older stuff but her later stuff just didn't hook me for some reason.

@Touty I know what you mean. I know that when I drink, it becomes my preferred activity and I almost avoid doing things that get in the way of that evening glass of wine (or three). Alcohol is such an instant, guaranteed dopamine hit that it makes you lazy about finding other ways to satisfy that.

Day 17 for me- I always feel a bit relieved on a Monday as feel like I have 4 "low temptation" days before I get to the weekend.

Morning all. Day 9, survived the athlete son's visit. He always starts shouting at me when i get the glass out. Begged me not to have weight loss surgery. Thinks the weight will fall off me without the sauce. Not sure about that due to steriods. My husband and I were GB sports people too. Then shit happened in our thirties and I took to the drink. Son reminds me of particular drunken incidents frequently. However didn't this weekend, full of praise. Admired Friday flowers. Offered to help move next month. Scoffed my brie!
@PrisonerofZeroCovid
Try The Break by Marion Keyes(I didn't like grown ups). I come from a large piss taking family. Reminds me of them.

On a slightly different note I realised of my 'magnificent seven' group of girlfriends only one is a bit too fond of the sauce. They can hammer it for a party then not drink for weeks! Funny that I would have said pissheads the lot of them.

Welcome @LynnDaBogTrotter and massive well done to @Touty.

@SavBbunny it sounds like you’re doing great. I’m glad your son’s visit went well. If he was exposed to your drinking a lot it is only natural for him to react strongly to your (not) drinking. It will take time for him to trust that you are really quitting this time. Patience with him is key I think. Sounds like you’re doing really well though👍

Morning everyone!

Day 17 here.

@SavBbunny, I love that your son didn't take the piss and was full of praise. That's so much more helpful and he maybe understands this is important.

I definitely think the lack of booze is making a positive difference to my weight. I weighed myself today thinking that surely, with all that cake, and also Christmas, (as I haven't weighed myself since October), I would have gained weight. But I was exactly the same as October.

I think weight loss through not boozing takes time though and there's some scientific reason for that i think...something aboht fatty liver and your metabolism? Anyway, I'm rambling, but I'm hoping that weight loss might follow if I stick with this.

So possibly you could wait and see before going for the surgery. I suppose the surgery option isn't going anywhere iyswim.

I keep looking at before and after pics of people who have stopped drinking, for inspiration. Even the ones who have gained weight or stayed the same just look so much better. Not that this is my primary concern or anything! But it is good to look at when I'm feeling tempted.

Also @touty, I can relate to a lot of what you say. I was The Big Drinker at university and almost certainly a functioning alcoholic. I had friends who were all the same and it did just seem like a bit of a laugh. It definitely became my preferred activity and I honestly didn't see the point in much else other than scraping through exams and stumbling to lectures for the sake of appearances. Repeated the same pattern at work of course - found the other fun group (aka the big drinkers) wherever I worked. I don't actually socialise with colleagues in my current workplace, so that is maybe what's helped me not crack.

@ LuisaMadgrial1

I am going to go through the counselling etc. for WLS as it takes some time but not having it done abroad due to health conditions. If I snuffed it I wouldn't want my poor family trying to get me home and I think that is what my son is worried about. I nearly died in 2015 from pneumonia. He carried me to the ambulance aged 16. Big lad! I would love to appear fabulous in March when I start my new job but I am scared. I use to have a cracking figure but have always loved the booze. Some of the books say problem drinkers have addictive personalities, some say that is hogwash. I think I do.
I would love to be able to stop at 2 glasses but I can't. My eyes follow the waiter round the room and I am always the 'bonne amie' at any party (or so I think). My scrapes and bad behaviour is legendary.
I am not a 'thrower upper' but I start rambling on re politics, law and and women's rights. Doesn't make me popular at dinner parties or family dos.
If I rabbit on here just ignore me. I am a diary keeper and although I had been a previous member of MN I have taken myself off from time to time as I have found some people hurtful. Hopefully these pious people haven't the need to troll a poor boozer!

@AlloftheTime all okay this end, thanks for checking in. About to start nursing placement next week so attempting to get an assignment done before then. Non of this would be possible on a hangover so I'm staying very focussed but I won't get complacent this time, got a AA meeting this evening at half seven which I'll definitely be going too. How are you doing?

Checking in 🙌

Checking in . Had a lovely weekend with parents staying . Stayed sober . Happy days .

Have a good day all x