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Alcohol support

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Original poster

When did you decide- I've had enough?

72 replies

Pugmumm · 31/10/2021 22:52

I would love to hear your stories Brew

I am 28 years old- been binge drinking since 18. Only been worse past few years:

  • I am a blabber mouth
  • inappropriate passes at people
  • blackouts and 'disappearing'
  • cringey social media posts/ texts I've sent that I have to wake up to (not remembering I've done it!!)
  • I have driven an hour and a half massively over the limit and very luckily was not caught (I cared my car off the road and damaged it in a field)- managed to drive it home...!!?!
  • grew up with an alcoholic farther - worse memories when I was younger.

I have so many bad memories and experiences surrounding me with alcohol but still have that urge to have 'just one' and it's never just one Sad I've tried hypnosis last year which actually helped for a couple of months. Then another lockdown happened. I got bored, working from home....

I went out with my work last Friday feeling bad now as I blacked out in the toilets and was sick.

I have a work's Xmas do end of November and I am really going to try and stick to the Diet Coke. If I can do this I'm going to decide to really give it a go to leave the booze for good!! I am devastated as I know I either have a problem or I am very close to hurting myself then only realising I have a problem!

OP posts:
JacquelineCarlyle · 01/11/2021 08:44

I woke up thinking about this thread and am pretty much in the same position as @IWishToAnswerInTheAffirmative (but with 3 DCs who are 10, 12 and 14).

I hope you don't mind me joining in too Op and thanks for this thread as hopefully it'll be the kick up the bum that I need.

Original poster
Pugmumm · 01/11/2021 08:52

@IWishToAnswerInTheAffirmative good luck and welcome! I suppose November is a difficult month to start as it's near Xmas and it's 'drinking season' but makes me even more determined to do it. Xx

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TrampolineForMrKite · 01/11/2021 09:17

I was very similar- I could never just have one. My saving grace was undoubtedly marrying someone who doesn’t really drink. Once I was with him being the only one drinking just was absurd. No point getting on it at dinner while your companion is sober as a judge.

Just FYI, I used to live with a police officer (who was a piss head, ironically) and he oversaw he charges of a man who was arrested and charged just for being drunk and sat in his car (he claimed he never intended to drive it- was just sitting in it to keep warm or some such). He was hugely over the limit and ended up losing his license for a bit, so if they’d do that for him you would be in so much trouble if caught. Maybe prison trouble. It’s not worth it. Never mind the danger you’re putting other peoples lives in.

Original poster
Pugmumm · 01/11/2021 10:49

Thanks for sharing your story @TrampolineForMrKite I don't have have a partner who is sober. He loves his drink but not to the extent that it's almost ruined his life and put him in situations as it has mine. I think he can just handle it more than me. He does worry about me but I haven't been truthful with him about how bad it's been for me.

I almost wish I was caught that evening I drunk drove. I remember arriving home and reversing my car to try and park it and smashing my back bumper (driver side) on the cement post of a fence and ruining the fence which wasn't even mine Sad last year was my darkest year with it. Thought I had got a handle on it until past couple of months.

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Original poster
Pugmumm · 01/11/2021 10:50

@JacquelineCarlyle very welcome here Brew please keep us updated x

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Original poster
Pugmumm · 01/11/2021 10:51

Thank you @Phlaps hope your journey is going smoothly for you Thanks

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Amdone123 · 01/11/2021 11:14

@Pugmumm, I don't think November is too bad a month to start ( though in my experience, I always made an excuse for any month to start. A bit like a healthy eating plan - there's always something!). For now if I were do, just concentrate on one day at a time. Your party on the 27th may pop into your mind and you may think ( in moments of weakness/ craving / boredom), well I'll probably drink then so what's the point.....I hope I'm not being too presumptious about your personality here. I'm trying to explain why I've sometimes ' failed' ( don't like that word..!).
For me November is pretty boring ( cold etc. Summer is more tempting for me).
Anyway, keep posting. You can do it. Star

IWishToAnswerInTheAffirmative · 01/11/2021 15:28

My trigger is when we sit down at night. Once the kids are asleep. I am tired and in need of a wind down. I pour myself a drink.

How can I stop this? Any tips for avoidance?

Original poster
Pugmumm · 01/11/2021 15:45

@IWishToAnswerInTheAffirmative I would suggest try and keep yourself busy... I don't have children but when I am alone and DP is not with me I do tend to hit a wine or Prosecco also.

It really is very difficult.

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Amdone123 · 01/11/2021 15:52

@IWishToAnswerInTheAffirmative, could you go and have a nice bubble bath? It would help you relax. I know it's hard because sometimes a drink is the only thing you want but if you want to stop this habit of having a drink, it could just be a case of developing new habits.

Anothernamechange3 · 01/11/2021 18:04

First evening off for me in ages. Going to get in my pyjamas and then do something nice for me (not sure what yet). Proper self care instead of self medicating with Brandy.

Original poster
Pugmumm · 01/11/2021 19:12

Sounds amazing @Anothernamechange3 !!

I've just cooker me and DP a chicken casserole ... usually touch the wine whilst I'm doing it and waiting for him to get home.

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Original poster
Pugmumm · 01/11/2021 19:14

Have overcome the Monday dread since my play up last Friday Sad

One colleague told me I said some things I literally don't remember saying to my manager (not actual line manager boss but still)... apparently called him disgusting and he said he didn't know what he's 'done' wrong. God I am so horrified. Don't even remember saying it to him.... so scary Sad definitely my confirmation I think. I've had enough. This is so out of character for me.

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Derrymum123 · 01/11/2021 19:21

I decided when I was pregnant nearly 16 years ago. I made a promise to myself and God. Like you, all the bad things in my life were accompanied by over use/dependency of alcohol. I found a book, a few years ago, by Russell Brand about fighting our addictions. It was like a light had been switched on. It made sense. It completely opened my eyes and confirmed to me why my life was better sober. I still refer to it on occasion.

CaMePlaitPas · 01/11/2021 19:24

When I woke up hungover one morning and the first thing I did was open a beer and I immediately felt better. I was about 22, had my first taste of alcohol at 8. I just stopped drinking cold turkey at 24, no regrets.

Original poster
Pugmumm · 01/11/2021 20:00

@Derrymum123 well done to you Thanks

I will find that Russell brand book as I have heard thats one of the best, thank you.

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Anothernamechange3 · 02/11/2021 18:53

How are you doing @Pugmumm? It doesn’t matter if you had a drink last night or not, I know how hard it is, but don’t stop posting here for support if you do have a slip up. I managed last night with popcorn and a decaf tea and have an exercise class tonight then will watch something trashy on Netflix once kids are in bed (probably Dynasty, I’m loving the escapism on it).

Anothernamechange3 · 02/11/2021 18:54

Did anyone see the stuff Jessica Simpson has posted about 4 years sober? She’s not been on my radar really before but I found it quite inspiring.

Colin56 · 02/11/2021 19:03

I was you years ago, that and drugs. Awful. Sex with randomers, waking up in different places, so many dangerous situations.
I stopped - just said no. I stopped going out and I started swimming and I swam methodically every Saturday night at 8pm for a year and got a takeaway and watched a film. I just stopped being in an environment where there was alcohol, I also stopped going to parties etc until I had a year or so under my belt. The swimmnig was key though - I exhausted myself by getting better at it so by 9pm I was ready for my reward of a takeaway and film. Sunday morning was a run or hike. If you can replace the drinking with a positive you are well on your way. If you slip or fall off DO NOT beat yourself up just go right back to the plan. I did not try AA but they have been amazing for so many people I know. Good Luck! You will lose weight, wake up pain free, anxiety will disapear probably. Its great being sober. I do have a VERY occasional drink a few times a year but always only one. Christmas parties I always say no to so I am never in that situation.

Colin56 · 02/11/2021 19:05

@Pugmumm

Have overcome the Monday dread since my play up last Friday Sad

One colleague told me I said some things I literally don't remember saying to my manager (not actual line manager boss but still)... apparently called him disgusting and he said he didn't know what he's 'done' wrong. God I am so horrified. Don't even remember saying it to him.... so scary Sad definitely my confirmation I think. I've had enough. This is so out of character for me.

I really would not do any work socialisation while you are trying to go sober. Its just making it harder for you.
JacquelineCarlyle · 02/11/2021 19:09

Hope you're ok @Pugmumm

ButYouGottaHaveASkillJeff · 02/11/2021 19:21

Hello 👋

This is pretty much me. I'm 39 and my wine drinking is now at problem levels. I've binged drank for years. I've been single, give it take a few situations, for pretty much all of my 30's and I've no kids so before Covid still went out every weekend and usually end up smashed in stupid situations. Wake up with the fear as I get memory blanks. I also get massive social awkwardness.

Now due to Covid I still binge but it's now in the house and I can't remember going to bed. I work shifts which change on a week to week basis so I always have a reason or reward. Or when I'm cooking. I can't hardly ever just have one. I need the end of the bottle, get stressed it's finishing, go and get another, crash out before starting it then I've got another which can't be left undrunk for long. I can go days without drinking then I fall off the wagon.

My weight has shot up as I associate my wine drinking with getting a takeaway. And I won't start on the money I'm wasting.

I found the Jessica Simpson article inspiring too. SO, on that note. I've given myself a date of the 27th November to reach as a first goal as I have a night out then, then I'll set myself another goal. That's massive for me at the moment.

JacquelineCarlyle · 02/11/2021 19:23

Well done @ButYouGottaHaveASkillJeff - making the decision is the biggest step. Good luck!

OfNick · 02/11/2021 19:25

I think I'm in your position too OP. I've been very aware that I need to cut down or try and stop for a while. Even saying cutting down or stopping for a while is a bit of an eye opener for me though - I know I have a problem but I kind of don't want to admit it properly? I've done more of the drink driving in the last year. I hate myself the day after. It's stupid and selfish. I convince myself it's only up the road to the shop but I could really hurt someone in that three mile journey. Lockdown has a lot to answer for. I was a heavy drinker before but this has made it worse. I've been reading and watching a fb page called The Matt Penn Initiative, it's helping.

Original poster
Pugmumm · 02/11/2021 20:18

@Anothernamechange3 haven't touched a drop since last Friday. Felt the urge last night but got stuck into cooking and then reading a book!

Thank you for asking Thanks

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