When did you decide- I've had enough?

[Pugmumm]

I would love to hear your stories

I am 28 years old- been binge drinking since 18. Only been worse past few years:

• I am a blabber mouth
• inappropriate passes at people
• blackouts and 'disappearing'
• cringey social media posts/ texts I've sent that I have to wake up to (not remembering I've done it!!)
• I have driven an hour and a half massively over the limit and very luckily was not caught (I cared my car off the road and damaged it in a field)- managed to drive it home...!!?!
• grew up with an alcoholic farther - worse memories when I was younger.

I have so many bad memories and experiences surrounding me with alcohol but still have that urge to have 'just one' and it's never just one I've tried hypnosis last year which actually helped for a couple of months. Then another lockdown happened. I got bored, working from home....

I went out with my work last Friday feeling bad now as I blacked out in the toilets and was sick.

I have a work's Xmas do end of November and I am really going to try and stick to the Diet Coke. If I can do this I'm going to decide to really give it a go to leave the booze for good!! I am devastated as I know I either have a problem or I am very close to hurting myself then only realising I have a problem!

@JacquelineCarlyle thank you

@Colin56 I know I have thought the same. I want to be able to go out with work who drink a lot and actually say at the end of the night 'I've had not even one' and wake up fresh whilst the rest are nursing hangovers 😆

Congratulations @Colin56 👏🏻 I am still trying to just find my distraction completely. At the moment its a book for myself but even then my mind does tend to wander .... or if I'm lucky it's cuddles** when DP gets home 😂🤦🏻‍♀️

I think you are doing great waking up to this and facing it. Well done.

Can I ask a hard question. What have you done about your manager? Had it been mentioned. Just that's a pretty nasty thing to say, are they ok? Or were they to drunk to remember as well.

@ButYouGottaHaveASkillJeff your goal is the exact same date as mine- we can do this 💪🏻

Well done!

@stripetop absolutely nothing. I was told he was pretty drunk by a colleague and doubt he noticed I wonder if that was to make me feel better? However he told me on the Monday he remembered everything of the night but I don't know if he was on about what I said.... honestly I don't know why I said it. He is the type to shrug it off (thick skin but still!!) and not mention it. Then proceeded to tell me he wants to see me 'drunk' at the next Xmas do 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ so maybe I wasn't too harsh...? I don't know.

I did ask a close friend of mine who was with me the whole night and she said she didn't remember me saying anything like that and she would tell me the truth. Perhaps she didn't hear.... I do feel bad still..

@OfNick I think you're doing great for even acknowledging it and talking to us here. The first part is actually realising somethings up.

Another time I had a family party and I was too 'touchy feely' with my brother in law meaning stroking his neck and rubbing his back..... I would NEVER usually do that. I was so embarrassed the next day when DP and my sister told me. Wine is my personally demon I'm sure of it.

I forgot to say- I really recommend a book called 'the expected joy of being sober' I remember reading it last year. I'll dig it out again...!! Managed to stop be for a couple of months.

Personal*

Day 4 with no alcohol - I'm very happy but know the test will be this weekend!

How are you doing @Pugmumm and anyone else on the journey?

Hi Jacqueline

I am also on day 4 and had my last glass of wine on Halloween (it was well earned!)

How are you feeling for it? I’m feeling pretty good. My sleep is still a riot but I’m not so tired of a morning and I’m definitely more patient with the kids.

However in spite of this, I too feel that the challenge will be the weekend. I haven’t found it difficult so much as a bit boring but I’ve been drinking much more water - how by the way do people drink these recommended amounts of water and not just be peeing all day long?!

@JacquelineCarlyle awesome!

Well I've had a couple of cravings this week but haven't given in. I'm now on day 5 and it's a Friday so likely I would have had a drink later on after work. I am feeling a lot better in myself just still regretting last Friday's antics with work ... at least no one has mentioned anything. How are you? X

I feel great - went out last night with friends & drove so there would be no temptation to drink & had such a good time. They were all asking why I wasn't drinking (as obviously very unusual) & I told them the truth. They're close friends so were supportive & not judgemental & it was such good fun (& a cheap night too!!)

I'm going to see how tonight goes - might aim for Parkrun in the morning as something to keep me on track tonight but could really do with a decent distraction as I know what I'm like & Parkrun alone won't be enough!

Well done on days 4 & 5 both - each day at a time.

I'm on day 5 and feeling pretty good. No cravings to drink and on nightshift all weekend. I usually hate weekend nightshifts as it interferes with my fun time I.e being able to drink but I'm going to fully embrace it and use it to listen to my various Audible's I have downloaded.

Thanks to whoever mentioned the Dry Days app, may have been on the other thread. It's really helping seeing the green days build up.

Well done, it's Friday, the weekend is looming.... but, Saturday and Sunday are just 2 days, that's all they are, keep busy, tire yourselves out, ring a friend, go for a drive, take up knitting, offer to walk the dog... distract yourself. It will get easier

Keep it up my lovelies, you're doing amazing!

Thank you @TeeTotaller1 💕

I’ll be honest. This is a boring Friday night.

Aware that says far more about me than anything else.

Morning what's everyone reading/making/crafting/watching?

Jump on and tell us about it when the urge to have a drink is there...

What films do you love?

What do you look for in a partner?

What habits make your teeth itch?

What's your favourite season and why?

@Pugmumm Would you consider bowing out of the work Xmas do ?

It doesn’t sound like a great dynamic for you this early in your sobriety

@merrygoround51 I was thinking the same but I have already committed and I have started this job about 5 months ago so I feel it's expected of me I am staying in the hotel so I can nip off to bed early and I doubt anyone will realise. I am really determined to do this!

@TeeTotaller1

What films do you love? Currently getting stuck into my discovery+ app (UK) that I have downloaded for just £4.99 a month. Really good reality tv and can watch it for hours. Love true crime documentaries on Netflix also 🤦🏻‍♀️

What do you look for in a partner? Someone patient and understanding .. who can put up with my mood swings 😆

What habits make your teeth itch? Eating loudly, people who have a sense of entitlement all the time...

What's your favourite season and why? Summer because of the nice weather and long nights .... (but I love Xmas!)

Anyone else?

I have started reading The Sober Diaries and it is quite wonderful.

I feel like the author has been living in my head.

This is day 9. I don’t think I have ever gone this long without a drink. My house is cleaner. I am a better parent. I am not so bloated.

Day 9 for me too @IWishToAnswerInTheAffirmative - we can do this!