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The Freedom Thread - Enjoying the positives of an alcohol free life

999 replies

Breathmiller · 02/10/2021 18:47

Hello all

A shiny new thread for those that would like to give up alcohol forever and a shiny new OP. (twirls)

The wonderful Drybird started these thread a loooong time ago and I'm sure many of you will agree that it has made such a massive difference to the lives of those who have read them or posted on them. Drybird would like to take a little break from hosting the threads so asked me if I would start one this time. The suggestion was that we can take it in turns after that which I think is a great idea .

Anyone is welcome to join and post but please be aware that this thread is for those of us who want to give up alcohol completely. It doesn't matter if you are on day 1, week 6 or year 5 (and it doesn't matter how many day 1s you have), there just has to be an intention to let go of alcohol altogether. So please no talk of moderating or drinking at the present moment or in the future, it can be triggering for some of us. There are many other wonderful threads for those who would prefer to moderate and we wish you well. If you decide that total abstinence is for you then come back.

It doesn't matter what your reason is, if you feel like it's an issue then you are welcome. It really is a friendly bunch. I also want to say hello to all the lurkers who don't want to post for one reason or another and say I hope that these threads give you support too.

There are many threads before this so if you are new, do look back, there is always at least a link to the last one at the beginning of each. Every thread is rich with advice and support. I personally have felt held in so many ways by each and everyone who has posted and I don't feel I would be here at 1yr2 months sober without it. Post daily, hourly even if it helps or just dip in now and again when you feel the need. It's not always the easist thing to do but it is worth it and it is easier with a group as supportive as this. We are each other's cheerleaders and underatns where we are coming from when the times are tough.

Here is the link to the last one....

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/4324737-Freedom-An-alcohol-free-thread-for-alcohol-free-people

These threads have been a lifesaver for so many of us with ideas from AF alternatives, Quit Lit suggestions to why our brains are wired the way they are and what tools we can learn to help us break free from the fog of alcohol. But most of all it's a lovely safe space where we can talk, vent, moan, ask questions, give advice and support each other. As we get to know each other there is also a lot of daily chat about what's going on in our lives - running, books, gardening, yoga and family. It really is a warm, welcoming and friendly space so do join in.

The suggestion to get this thread going is for everyone to have a think of what they gain from not drinking, what are the positives? Or if you are on day 1 then what is the thing you are most looking forward to? Let's let go of the idea that we are denying ourselves something or that we are living less than and list what we are gaining instead.

My main positive (in amongst all the fresh skin, clear head, lack of hangovers, lack of shame better health - physically and mentally, I could go on and on........) is the fact that I don't have the eternal converation in my head going round of whether to have a drink that day or not. I am (mostly) free from that and it is amazing!

So whether you are a regular or a newbie, do say hello and introduce yourself.

OP posts:
iamyourequal · 20/10/2021 21:36

Are you doing alright now @Adm1010? What did you have for tea? I hope you’re managing to chill out a bit now and unwind.
I have cake here, wish I could share! (It’s salted caramel). 🍰

Adm1010 · 20/10/2021 22:13

Thanks everyone . I had a pretty boring tea but then half a chocolate orange !

I’m sober and just about to go to bed. Night all xxx

Sunflowers765 · 20/10/2021 23:46

I'm doing sober for October ( day 20) and I'm now thinking I'll continue. I've not been heavy drinker but a consistent one, maybe 1/2 bottle of wine each evening. Danger zone is 6pm, otherwise known as wine o'clock, while cooking. But I have a little app which gives me a little motivational quote at 6pm, and more importantly tells me how much money I've saved so far not buying wine. Once I get to £200 I'm booking a spa break! I find it really motivating to see the £s tick up each day! I'm on £135 so far! On the downside I'm compensating by eating all the cake and biscuits I want to cheer myself up. November is going to be back to calorie counting! And it will help not drinking 400 calories out of my allowance each day...

Kindtomyself · 21/10/2021 06:53

Morning all. I’ve got a headache again Sad. At least I know it’s not from drinking Smile. I’m on my period so could be because of that although I usually get headaches premenstrual. I actually think it’s stress related, being sober is hi-lighting the issues between me and dh. I feel like I carry the family, it’s like having a third child. I have felt so much rage this week..,,

Kindtomyself · 21/10/2021 06:56

@sunflowers765 great idea treating yourself to a treat. I’ve treated myself a few times it’s a great feeling. I also seem to be eating more since I stopped drinking so will also need to look at that.

Nosilayak · 21/10/2021 08:41

@Adm1010 hope you have a better day today. Well done for staying sober last night, when it would have been so easy to just give in. You are strong and wise and supported me when I was worried about my liver. I really hope things improve for you xx

Exitstrategist · 21/10/2021 08:49

Hi sunflowers! I think you’re doing great. I would have said the same that I was a consistent drinker however half a bottle of wine a night is quite a lot. Before I knew it this crept up to a bottle most nights. I am on day 4 now and had a really good night sleep for the first time in months. What I’m really struggling with is I know I can’t moderate. Been there and fell off the wagon and not even back to square one but much worse as if I’m desperately trying to unpick all the good I did in the sober streak. I would love to be one of these people who can have a delicious glass with a meal once or twice a month and enjoy it without panicking about if there’s enough in the bottle, where I’m going to get more from, how to hoodwink people into thinking I’m still on my first glass etc. It’s so sad thinking I’m like Kim Cantrell in sex and the city when in reality I’m a 40 year old lonely and probably alcoholic mother of two living in a farmhouse in rural UK! So the work continues on trying to de glamorise the bottle. Someone said being sober has brought to light issues with husband and I am imagining the same will happen here. He has NEVER moderated his drinking even through two pregnancies and two years of breastfeeding yet annoyingly he points to my issues, freaks me out and then I become sober for a period while he continues to drink. Even more annoyingly he has recently changed jobs and with complete ease is not not drinking Monday to Thursday. Aggghh.

Adm1010 · 21/10/2021 09:41

@Nosilayak Thankyou . I’m calmer today and I’m on a day off so just pottering at the minute . Hangover free though so that’s a huge bonus !

@Kindtomyself it’s those bloody FEELINGS again isn’t it! We have to re learn how to manage them sadly .

@Exitstrategist moderation is virtually impossible if you are alcohol dependant . Making peace with that fact is a lot of the battle . Don’t compare yourself to others .

Breathmiller · 21/10/2021 20:36

Just popping in quickly to say that I am now a Granny!! Best bloody feeling ever!!

OP posts:
AlloftheTime · 21/10/2021 21:30

@Breathmiller

Just popping in quickly to say that I am now a Granny!! Best bloody feeling ever!!
Congratulations it is a wonderful club to be part of! Trust all are well xx
StoppedWineIng · 21/10/2021 22:13

@Breathmiller congratulations ❤️

SandandFog · 21/10/2021 22:20

@Breathmiller

Just popping in quickly to say that I am now a Granny!! Best bloody feeling ever!!
Congratulations!
Nosilayak · 21/10/2021 23:21

@Breathmiller Congratulations to you and your family xx

namebunny · 22/10/2021 03:47

Aww! That’s lovely

Adm1010 · 22/10/2021 06:26

Lovely news @Breathmiller Flowers

behindhereyes · 22/10/2021 06:29

Congratulations @Breathmiller! How exciting!!
Just checking in to say I'm still doing good, and staying AF. I've been reading all the posts and really finding strength in so many people facing the same struggles and winning. It really makes me feel like I can do it to.

Kindtomyself · 22/10/2021 06:30

Morning and Congratulations to Granny Miller, how lovely.

I’ve still got headache and feel crap. I clearly can’t write either because I read one of my previous messages that said ‘good idea treating yourself to a treat’.

DD is shouting me so will check in later. Hope you all have a great day

StoppedWineIng · 22/10/2021 06:46

Happy Friday all. I love that the one day I don’t actually have to get up one of the kids always has me up before 7 🥱

Baby’s sleep is still horrendous so no desire to drink AT ALL this weekend!

BunniesBunniesBunnies · 22/10/2021 09:14

Will catch up with the thread properly later but just wanted to say a huge congratulations to @Breathmiller on becoming a granny!!! What a wonderful thing and how amazing that you will be sober for your grandchild, able to be fully present to enjoy all those special moments 😊😘

iamyourequal · 22/10/2021 11:42

Many congratulations @Breathmiller!!! Fabulous news. Are mum and baby doing well? Are you knitting pink or blue? Smile

Exitstrategist · 22/10/2021 19:02

Congratulations granny! Fab news. It’s Friday and 7pm- I’m staying strong but about to go to the bar and for dinner. Telling the wine witch to go screw herself and trying to focus on waking up hangover free. Another big test tomorrow night out for tapas but I’m designated driver

ChampooPapi · 22/10/2021 21:24

Checking in and celebrating day 90 🙌

The Freedom Thread - Enjoying the positives of an alcohol free life
ChampooPapi · 22/10/2021 21:25

Congratulations @Breathmiller! 💜💜

SandandFog · 22/10/2021 23:49

@ChampooPapi

Checking in and celebrating day 90 🙌
90 days is great, well done 👏🏻
Kindtomyself · 23/10/2021 08:41

Morning all. I’m feeling shit but no headache hurrah! I’ve been awake since 2.30am and decided to get up at 4 to catch up on work. I’ve got two full days of writing a report Hmm.
I’m struggling so much with emotions, I really want to learn how to deal with them better but can’t find my way with it. I will be exploring this further but if anyone has any tips I would appreciate it. I do yoga, walking and do feel temporarily better. I try to sit mindfully with emotions but I just panic. Just remembered R.A.I.N as recommended by @Breathmiller also known as Grannymiller Grin. I must explore that further.

Anyway enough about me. How did it go last night @Exitstrategist?

Congratulations on 90 days @ChampooPapi you’re a true inspiration.

@Adm1010, @Nosilayak, @iamyourequal how’s everything going with you guys?

Anyone fancy taking me to a spa today? Grin