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Alcohol support

The Freedom Thread - Enjoying the positives of an alcohol free life

999 replies

Breathmiller · 02/10/2021 18:47

Hello all

A shiny new thread for those that would like to give up alcohol forever and a shiny new OP. (twirls)

The wonderful Drybird started these thread a loooong time ago and I'm sure many of you will agree that it has made such a massive difference to the lives of those who have read them or posted on them. Drybird would like to take a little break from hosting the threads so asked me if I would start one this time. The suggestion was that we can take it in turns after that which I think is a great idea .

Anyone is welcome to join and post but please be aware that this thread is for those of us who want to give up alcohol completely. It doesn't matter if you are on day 1, week 6 or year 5 (and it doesn't matter how many day 1s you have), there just has to be an intention to let go of alcohol altogether. So please no talk of moderating or drinking at the present moment or in the future, it can be triggering for some of us. There are many other wonderful threads for those who would prefer to moderate and we wish you well. If you decide that total abstinence is for you then come back.

It doesn't matter what your reason is, if you feel like it's an issue then you are welcome. It really is a friendly bunch. I also want to say hello to all the lurkers who don't want to post for one reason or another and say I hope that these threads give you support too.

There are many threads before this so if you are new, do look back, there is always at least a link to the last one at the beginning of each. Every thread is rich with advice and support. I personally have felt held in so many ways by each and everyone who has posted and I don't feel I would be here at 1yr2 months sober without it. Post daily, hourly even if it helps or just dip in now and again when you feel the need. It's not always the easist thing to do but it is worth it and it is easier with a group as supportive as this. We are each other's cheerleaders and underatns where we are coming from when the times are tough.

Here is the link to the last one....

These threads have been a lifesaver for so many of us with ideas from AF alternatives, Quit Lit suggestions to why our brains are wired the way they are and what tools we can learn to help us break free from the fog of alcohol. But most of all it's a lovely safe space where we can talk, vent, moan, ask questions, give advice and support each other. As we get to know each other there is also a lot of daily chat about what's going on in our lives - running, books, gardening, yoga and family. It really is a warm, welcoming and friendly space so do join in.

The suggestion to get this thread going is for everyone to have a think of what they gain from not drinking, what are the positives? Or if you are on day 1 then what is the thing you are most looking forward to? Let's let go of the idea that we are denying ourselves something or that we are living less than and list what we are gaining instead.

My main positive (in amongst all the fresh skin, clear head, lack of hangovers, lack of shame better health - physically and mentally, I could go on and on........) is the fact that I don't have the eternal converation in my head going round of whether to have a drink that day or not. I am (mostly) free from that and it is amazing!

So whether you are a regular or a newbie, do say hello and introduce yourself.

OP posts:

Bounce55 · 03/10/2021 09:07

September 17th 2020 was my last alcoholic drink
Just over a year AF
For those wishing to go AF I wish you luck, the positives seriously outweigh the can do it Flowers


Bounce55 · 03/10/2021 09:09

I also recommend 'The Sober Diaries', fantastic read and not a 'self help' book, some may prefer the different approach that the author writes about


Adm1010 · 03/10/2021 09:10

@Bounce55 I’m half way through sober diaries . It’s like looking in a mirror in some parts .


Bounce55 · 03/10/2021 09:12


Hi all. I have been a bit quiet. Mainly because I’ve been solo parenting due to DH working away and for some reason wasn’t getting notifications.

I’m ashamed to say I’m back at day 1. I am so annoyed at myself. I managed 27 AF days, many social situations, a party with friends I haven’t seen in 2 years and I let a stressful week and dr’s appt let me give in.

My biggest mistake was not telling DH I wanted to stop forever. I have been finding it so easy as won’t drink when he is away anyway as I worry if the DC’s get ill in the night I won’t be able to drive them somewhere. The youngest has not been sleeping so it has made it easy on weekends to not want to add to how awful the sleep deprivation is making me feel.

DH bought me up flowers and a glass of wine last night and I drank it without a second thought, it was only when I sat there after finishing the bottle I though what the hell have you done 😢

So anyway. I’m an idiot. But I’m grateful that I actually didn’t feel too awful this morning, even after being woken up 6 bloody times.

Day 1. Again.

Positives of being AF… clear head, clear skin, more patience with the kids, less anxiety, more energy and better sleep.

Welcome to all the new people that have joined since I last checked in and well done to all those staying strong. I have read back on all the missed posts and hope those with health concerns and scans are all ok.

I’m drinking Coke Zero, waiting for my DH to cook dinner and have downloaded the Allen Carr audiobook to listen to next week on my dog walks.

27 days is amazing-well done Flowers
You're not an idiot
Tell those that you are closest to that you're stopping, there might be times where you have to refuse when there's a drink literally right in front of you
You'll do it, honestly you will
Good luck Smile

Drybird2020 · 03/10/2021 09:58

Hello everyone, and thanks to Breath for the new thread and all the important stuff you dealt with in the OP! I love the idea of taking turns and making it a team thing.

I lurked on sober threads for years. It took me that long to take the plunge. And I had a few spells of being alcohol free before I realised that I needed to make it permanent.

There are so, so many positives. I can honestly say that I agree with all the things people have already said. But the main thing for me is having so much more time and energy. The superhuman effort it took me to moderate was sucking all the joy out of life, and it so often didn't work, so I was using even more energy beating myself up and making plans to manage it better next time. Now all of that has gone away, and it's just so peaceful! There's space for me in my life and I find I can approach other challenges with confidence because if I can give up booze I can do anything!!

Annie Grace writes somewhere, maybe in This Naked Mind, that spontaneous sobriety is just as effective as programmes like AA as long as you have some support. These threads have provided me with that support. I hope that we keep them running for a.long, long time and help loads more of us to get our lives back.



Sunflowersinthewind · 03/10/2021 11:41

@Adm1010 I have been chugging a LOT of vitamins since giving up. Hoping it will help my poor liver recover. I have Berocca in the morning, vitamin b complex with lunch, and then multivitamin and omega complex with dinner. Probably overkill, I plan to taper off after a month when hopefully my body recovers more. I am also religiously eating 5 portions of fruit and veg a day. I have become the smug healthy person


Adm1010 · 03/10/2021 12:07

@Sunflowersinthewind I’m so rubbish at getting my fruit and veg intake in! Think I need to get on the “ 10 a day “ thread Grin


Breathmiller · 03/10/2021 12:19

[quote Adm1010]@Sunflowersinthewind I’m so rubbish at getting my fruit and veg intake in! Think I need to get on the “ 10 a day “ thread Grin[/quote]
Oh do join in.
It's been quiet so I thought maybe I'd knock it on the head.
But it has made massive difference to me.
I don't manage every day but I do now keep a note on my phone and add to it as I go through the day. I find myself adding much more fruit and veg in now.

OP posts:

Adm1010 · 03/10/2021 12:30

@Breathmiller I’ll have a read of it later .


Meezer2 · 03/10/2021 12:33

Can I join please?
Long time alcohol abuser and I've tried to cut down, it isn't working at all.
Once I have one I can't control it and will drink to oblivion. 😢


AlloftheTime · 03/10/2021 12:45


Can I join please?
Long time alcohol abuser and I've tried to cut down, it isn't working at all.
Once I have one I can't control it and will drink to oblivion. 😢

Jump aboard!
Friendly folk here with plenty of good tips.
Post away and look forward to hearing how you get on.

Adm1010 · 03/10/2021 12:51

@Meezer2 keep posting

I’m new to the thread but not new to the struggle . I’ve found this thread amazing support


Kindtomyself · 03/10/2021 13:38

Hello @Meezer2 you are welcome here. Keep posting. Are you ok to just stop drinking or do you need medical intervention? This all depends on how much you drink. Let us know your plans. We're here for support.


Kindtomyself · 03/10/2021 18:08

I can't believe it's 6pm already. Hope you've all had a good day. I'm off for a chilled lemonade and lime


SoberSept21 · 03/10/2021 18:36

Hello @Meezer2 and welcome.

I had a real battle earlier. My OH took our toddler out so I had an hour to myself. I was so tempted to pour 'a' glass of wine and have a bath but I just knew that the one glass would soon become the bottle and so it would go. I re-read the section in unexpected joy where Cath got to a month (1 month today for me) where it seems my body did as hers did and says 'see you managed a month so you're not an addict - have just one). But I didn't and am so pleased
.Happy Sunday evening all. I'll be having an early night I think


Adm1010 · 03/10/2021 18:52

@SoberSept21 well done you should be proud .

@Kindtomyself have a restful evening

I’m not sure how I feel this evening . I feel calm . And peaceful . It’s difficult to describe . Just feel kind of EVEN ! I’ve had tea. Watching some telly . Drinking water . And just …. being! It’s odd


Kindtomyself · 03/10/2021 19:26

Well done @SoberSept21 you managed that wobble very well. I'm continuing to read Quit lit or just books about alcohol to continue to remind myself how important sobriety is. That bloody wine witch suggested earlier (when I was pouring my lemonade into a lovely wine glass) that I should have 'a' glass of wine because 'I've done so well with my sobriety'. How absolutely screwed up is my head ffs. I just told her (the Wine Witch) to Fuck Right Off. Pretending to be my friend when she's actually evil and toxic. Right rant over. I hope you have a lovely relaxing non alcohol sleep. And a genuine high five for beating your trigger Smile

Hi @adm1010 I think what you are describing is contentment. Properly Zen. How lovely, good on you. That's where I want to be. Enjoy your Zen evening and embrace it.


Adm1010 · 03/10/2021 19:59

It won’t last Grin


iamyourequal · 03/10/2021 20:32

Thanks @Drybird2020 for keeping these threads going and @Breathmiller for starting this one with a lovely positive opening post. These threads have been a great help to me. I want to urge anyone starting a ‘day 1’ again to come right back to it. No judgment here, absolutely the opposite in fact. I know this having had many ‘day 1s’ myself.
I’m really happy to be AF because I was exhausted with losing the moderation battle. It really is easier when the only decision: ‘I don’t drink’ has already been made and isn’t up for an internal debate on a daily basis.
We were out for a family meal yesterday and I felt so pleased with myself not only that I didn’t drink, but that I could taxi my elderly parents there are back too. I cringe at my past antics. I feel ashamed at the times I have manipulated things so that I could be the one drinking at social events. I always rationalised this in my head as ‘work hard play hard’ that I was fun and a bit wild etc. now I see it was pretty tragic indeed.
Keep at it everyone.


Kindtomyself · 03/10/2021 20:58

Grin I believe contentment and being Zen is overrated anyway @adm1010

@iamyourequal glad you had a lovely family meal yesterday. I too cringe at my past behaviour and my planning of how I could avoid driving for that extra drink. It's so great that we no longer have to be like that and have recognised it.

I'm in bed and looking forward to reading my book (not Quit Lit I save that for audible when I'm walking) after a long day working. I'm just pondering something though, a friend said to me a few days ago that my energy seemed low and didn't seem myself (she doesn't know about me stopping drinking and this conversation occurred after an exercise class) I just said I was exhausted, it's bothering me a bit though because I'm not sure I will ever be particularly high energy again and scared of losing myself or perhaps I'm finding myself Hmm. End of ponder. Sleep well and 'see' you all in the morning


HangingOver · 03/10/2021 21:53

Jumping aboard from Greece.


AlloftheTime · 03/10/2021 22:13

@HangingOver no passport or visa required here!


iamyourequal · 03/10/2021 22:30

@Kindtomyself. You probably aren’t quite yourself at the moment though so don’t be too worried. Those of us who have just given up are undergoing a huge change and although the long term benefits should be huge, it is a bit of a tough ride of ups and downs at first isn’t it? There are cravings, and all those hours previously drinking now being filled with self reflection and analysis and it all takes its toll too. That’s why we need to go easy on ourselves and try not to worry and overthink things. Well that’s my take on it at least!


iamyourequal · 03/10/2021 22:31

How is Greece @HangingOver? You managed the flight ok?


Newmum29 · 04/10/2021 01:14

Day 29 for me. Managed my birthday and just so determined now. Meeting a friend on 15th for a drink and have already flagged it’ll be alcohol free. A neighbour invited me for a glass of wine at the weekend and I said I’d bring my nosecco.

Positives (I know I’m late!) are:

  • early wake ups aren’t as painful, my Bub gets up at 5/5.30 and I can actually tolerate it so much easier when I’m not hungover
  • everyone keeps saying I look great (may be being kind but I’ll take it)
  • managing stress better, I’ll go for a walk or cook or put a wash on when I’m mad instead of having a glass of wine
  • having more calories to play with now they’re not swallowed up by booze
  • saving money (about £125 so far)
  • modelling positive behaviour for my daughter (this was my main motivation)
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