The Freedom Thread - Enjoying the positives of an alcohol free life

[Breathmiller]

Hello all

A shiny new thread for those that would like to give up alcohol forever and a shiny new OP. (twirls)

The wonderful Drybird started these thread a loooong time ago and I'm sure many of you will agree that it has made such a massive difference to the lives of those who have read them or posted on them. Drybird would like to take a little break from hosting the threads so asked me if I would start one this time. The suggestion was that we can take it in turns after that which I think is a great idea .

Anyone is welcome to join and post but please be aware that this thread is for those of us who want to give up alcohol completely. It doesn't matter if you are on day 1, week 6 or year 5 (and it doesn't matter how many day 1s you have), there just has to be an intention to let go of alcohol altogether. So please no talk of moderating or drinking at the present moment or in the future, it can be triggering for some of us. There are many other wonderful threads for those who would prefer to moderate and we wish you well. If you decide that total abstinence is for you then come back.

It doesn't matter what your reason is, if you feel like it's an issue then you are welcome. It really is a friendly bunch. I also want to say hello to all the lurkers who don't want to post for one reason or another and say I hope that these threads give you support too.

There are many threads before this so if you are new, do look back, there is always at least a link to the last one at the beginning of each. Every thread is rich with advice and support. I personally have felt held in so many ways by each and everyone who has posted and I don't feel I would be here at 1yr2 months sober without it. Post daily, hourly even if it helps or just dip in now and again when you feel the need. It's not always the easist thing to do but it is worth it and it is easier with a group as supportive as this. We are each other's cheerleaders and underatns where we are coming from when the times are tough.

Here is the link to the last one....

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/4324737-Freedom-An-alcohol-free-thread-for-alcohol-free-people

These threads have been a lifesaver for so many of us with ideas from AF alternatives, Quit Lit suggestions to why our brains are wired the way they are and what tools we can learn to help us break free from the fog of alcohol. But most of all it's a lovely safe space where we can talk, vent, moan, ask questions, give advice and support each other. As we get to know each other there is also a lot of daily chat about what's going on in our lives - running, books, gardening, yoga and family. It really is a warm, welcoming and friendly space so do join in.

The suggestion to get this thread going is for everyone to have a think of what they gain from not drinking, what are the positives? Or if you are on day 1 then what is the thing you are most looking forward to? Let's let go of the idea that we are denying ourselves something or that we are living less than and list what we are gaining instead.

My main positive (in amongst all the fresh skin, clear head, lack of hangovers, lack of shame better health - physically and mentally, I could go on and on........) is the fact that I don't have the eternal converation in my head going round of whether to have a drink that day or not. I am (mostly) free from that and it is amazing!

So whether you are a regular or a newbie, do say hello and introduce yourself.

Sunflowersinthewind snap.

Checking in…had a massive desire to buy a bottle of wine in the supermarket last night. Bought a face mask instead & drank lots of water

You’re right, of course, @Sunflowersinthewind. I was just expecting to be told never to drink again based on my liver.

@SparklingLime fatty liver is your first warning . The beginning . If you carry on drinking to excess you just move up the stages , next is scarring , then cirrhosis , then liver failure . You are at a reversible stage . Carry on drinking the March towards cirrhosis continues. It’s inevitable . You’ve been given a chance . If you can’t moderate ( 14 units a week or less with days alcohol free in between, no more than 6 units in one go ) then you need to be abstinent .

@SparklingLime about a year ago I had a couple of sober months under my belt, and I listened to the voice that told me that I was fine after a break, I'd got things under control and I could moderate. But I couldn't, and I spent the next 9 months trying to stop again. I wish now that I'd just stuck with it.

@SparklingLime so pleased that your results were good. I've got my liver scan on Friday and am dreading it. I haven't drunk alcohol since 22nd August and am hoping my poor liver is still OK. How long did you have to wait for the scan results? And had you already had blood tests showing possible liver problems? Hope you don't mind me asking but I am so worried, thanks.

Checking in 🙌

sparklinglime that's good that your results were better than expected. Hold on to that relief. It's been a warning. Imagine how you will feel if you start drinking again and this time next year you have to go back for another test and it's not so good. What a great opportunity. Celebrate that you have had a good result. And think I am going to do whatever I can to keep that.

You also said that the doctor said you could moderate if you don't have a problem . It doesn't matter whether you feel the need to be told by a doctor that you have a problem. You know you have a tricky relationship with alcohol and you have been and can continue to work with that.

Hi @Nosilayak, I had an ordinary ultrasound scan at an NHS hospital and was told at the time that the report would be available to my GP the next day. I can’t remember if you’re having a Fibroscan, but imagine it would be the same. Yes, I had raised ALP and GGT in blood tests.

I know, it’s such a worry. But the NHS website it says if damage is in the early stages then 2 weeks of no alcohol will start to show repair. When did you last have bloods done?

Thanks everyone else. I do realise that. I think I worded my post badly. I wasn’t about to start drinking again. It was just disconcerting to be told that.

Yes, it must have been a strabge shift in perception compared to what you were expecting.

It's a great result though. You must be so relieved

@SparklingLime yeah I find it a bit frightening the lack of specialist advice around alcohol and liver health . It’s not good enough to tell someone they have a fatty liver but can moderate without a broader thought about that persons past or present relationship with alcohol . Some patients would see it as a green light , “ well a doctor told me I can drink “ and that is bloody dangerous . The bigger picture is not that simple for many many people

@Nosilayak how are your other symptoms ? I know you mentioned you had other things going on ?

@SparklingLime thanks for that info. I had the blood tests that showed elevated something or other ALT? as being 35, about 4 weeks ago. I'm having an Ultrasound at an NHS hospital on Friday and depending on the results, a fibroscan if necessary. I've just got loads of stress in my life at the moment, my husband is mentally ill (he went from being a teacher, family man, great husband to becoming psychotic and trying to kill both himself and me accidentally in the process). My son has money troubles and I'm desperately trying to keep him afloat and in uni and I've just been told my best friend in the world, my Chocolate Labrador, Harvey, is dying of cancer. I am so so tempted to hit the wine and the gin but I know I have to help my poor liver as much as I can. I have so many people depending on me I can't just drink myself into oblivion. I enjoy reading this thread, even if I don't post very often. Just knowing that the support is out there if needed is invaluable. Good luck to everyone in this battle to stay AF.

Oh, @Nosilayak, that is a terrible lot on your plate. Goodness, I just want to give you a hug! You’re doing so well to stay AF with all of that.

@Adm1010 thanks for asking how I am, it means a lot. I had been having pain all across my chest but this has recently gone away. I still have pain that goes through to my back though. I've just got back from TESCO and I've had to lie down as my back is hurting so much, which would have been unheard of for the "old me". I'm not as exhausted as I was previously and my stools are now a more normal colour (sorry if that's tmi but it is one of the symptoms of liver disease). I'm 53 and I'm praying some of these symptoms could be connected to the menopause. I'm constantly checking my skin colour and the whites of my eyes for jaundice. Honestly, if I get away with just fatty liver and not irrepairable damage, I swear I'll never drink again. I'm determined to start looking after myself and lead a healthier life.

@SparklingLime thank you so much for your kind words. Reading my post back, I sound like a right moaner but it is all true. I lost my beloved mum to liver cancer and I did have a lot of similar symptoms, that's what prompted me to go AF. I can cope with everything I have going on as long as everything is OK on Friday. I'm even worrying about drinking all the water before my scan and needed the loo. I adopted my son so I've never had a scan during pregnancy etc. I'll be so pleased when Friday is over!

@Nosilayak oh you have such a lot on your plate but I’m glad you are finding support here .
I would like to think it’s a good sign that the fatigue is lifting and your stools are no longer pale . The liver is really forgiving in the Early stages and will give us chances to try again . It will reset if it can . I have everything crossed for you for Friday . Xx

@Adm1010 thank you so much.

nosilayak that's a lot to be holding. Another one sending you a big hug.

I suppose I feel that when things seem too much and I have a lot on my plate that I don't need to add anything else to the mix. I used to think that having a drink would ease things but of course it doesn't at all. Just adds another layer of crap to an already crap situation.

You do not sound like a moaner at all, @Nosilayak! You just have so much to cope with. I’m so sorry about your mum, and that must make waiting for tests more worrying.

The scan nurses are always really lovely here (I’ve had loads of gynae ones in same department) and there’s a loo right next door as for the gynae scans you have to pee half way through the scan.

@Breathmiller Thank you. Yes, I was so tempted whilst shopping to buy wine but I thought how close I've come to my scan and that I've done so well staying AF so far, that I'm not going to fall at the last hurdle. How I'll be if its bad news I dread to think, I just keep telling myself that if I have done damage to my liver then it's even more reason to stay AF. I've always used alcohol as a crutch and it's hard when that's taken away and trying to find other coping mechanisms. Thanks so much to everyone for your kind words today.

Helloooo everyone!!!
@HangingOver 500 days is awesome work!!!

@Breathmiller sorry you’re having a tough time. You are so totally right though that booze would only make things work. That’s what I tell myself too on a bad day.

It’s 18 months for me this week!!!🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩 I don’t know what to say other than I feel grateful every day that I don’t drink anymore. Even just now my youngest child was crying inconsolably (very difficult emotional day for him) and I was able to coach him through it gently and patiently. Drinking me would have snapped and reached for the gin.

Had an old friend visit last week who likes a drink. She’s left now leaving me with a half a bottle of my favourite wine. I just poured it down the sink, it actually felt GOOD to do that.

Blood love not drinking, there’s just no way I’m going back to it.

For all of you struggling finding yourself on Day 1 again, KEEP GOING. One day it will stick. And when you get a craving ask yourself: What does alcohol actually GIVE me? Not just right that moment, but the next morning, the next week, the next year? Really it gives you nothing more than headaches, guilt and empty calories. Just bin that shit, pour it down the sink, your life will be so much better for it.

Keep going all👍👍👍

Oh gosh you are all doing so well! It’s good to see.
Gosh that is a relief, sparklinglime. And well done fieldguide
Thanks coodawaadashooda and sunflowers agree, I can’t think of any benefits alcohol brings. (And you’ve just reminded me of the lovely Adrienne.)Except the joan Collins martini ad from long ago! I’m on track again, thank goodness and am thinking of a good nights sleep and energy tomorrow and not feeling bloated and drained..the list does go on.
Adm1010 so pleased for you, doing so well. Yes the wine witch says all the usual,’just one, it’s civilised, you can relax and feel like you have a life’. I can even hear me ignoring the sensible me.
Tomorrow will make dinner early, and super easy. And then be too stuffed to drink!
Going to try your kombucha drybird2020 sounds interesting.ive found blue ( cos it’s not sweet) or lidls fresh lemonade are good. And lime soda can get a gal quite giggly!
Sooo glad you are all here. Well I’m not, but you know what I mean.

@WineAway well done for staying strong in the supermarket! I seem to find all my favourite wines on offer right the the door at the moment. Just need to keep walking passed…

@Nosilayak another big hug from me, you are s doing amazingly well having to deal with everything you are dealing with and staying so strong. Doing things to look after ourselves is harder than doing things for others in my opinion.

Checking in. Don’t know why I’m led in bed awake, my early night didn’t go to plan and no doubt my little sleep thief will wake me up as soon as I drop off!

Goodnight all. Well done on another day x