The Freedom Thread - Enjoying the positives of an alcohol free life

[Breathmiller]

Hello all

A shiny new thread for those that would like to give up alcohol forever and a shiny new OP. (twirls)

The wonderful Drybird started these thread a loooong time ago and I'm sure many of you will agree that it has made such a massive difference to the lives of those who have read them or posted on them. Drybird would like to take a little break from hosting the threads so asked me if I would start one this time. The suggestion was that we can take it in turns after that which I think is a great idea .

Anyone is welcome to join and post but please be aware that this thread is for those of us who want to give up alcohol completely. It doesn't matter if you are on day 1, week 6 or year 5 (and it doesn't matter how many day 1s you have), there just has to be an intention to let go of alcohol altogether. So please no talk of moderating or drinking at the present moment or in the future, it can be triggering for some of us. There are many other wonderful threads for those who would prefer to moderate and we wish you well. If you decide that total abstinence is for you then come back.

It doesn't matter what your reason is, if you feel like it's an issue then you are welcome. It really is a friendly bunch. I also want to say hello to all the lurkers who don't want to post for one reason or another and say I hope that these threads give you support too.

There are many threads before this so if you are new, do look back, there is always at least a link to the last one at the beginning of each. Every thread is rich with advice and support. I personally have felt held in so many ways by each and everyone who has posted and I don't feel I would be here at 1yr2 months sober without it. Post daily, hourly even if it helps or just dip in now and again when you feel the need. It's not always the easist thing to do but it is worth it and it is easier with a group as supportive as this. We are each other's cheerleaders and underatns where we are coming from when the times are tough.

Here is the link to the last one....

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/4324737-Freedom-An-alcohol-free-thread-for-alcohol-free-people

These threads have been a lifesaver for so many of us with ideas from AF alternatives, Quit Lit suggestions to why our brains are wired the way they are and what tools we can learn to help us break free from the fog of alcohol. But most of all it's a lovely safe space where we can talk, vent, moan, ask questions, give advice and support each other. As we get to know each other there is also a lot of daily chat about what's going on in our lives - running, books, gardening, yoga and family. It really is a warm, welcoming and friendly space so do join in.

The suggestion to get this thread going is for everyone to have a think of what they gain from not drinking, what are the positives? Or if you are on day 1 then what is the thing you are most looking forward to? Let's let go of the idea that we are denying ourselves something or that we are living less than and list what we are gaining instead.

My main positive (in amongst all the fresh skin, clear head, lack of hangovers, lack of shame better health - physically and mentally, I could go on and on........) is the fact that I don't have the eternal converation in my head going round of whether to have a drink that day or not. I am (mostly) free from that and it is amazing!

So whether you are a regular or a newbie, do say hello and introduce yourself.

Just got through all the pages I’ve missed, I can’t remember all names and events but wow as a group we are all dealing with A LOT and how bloody amazing are we for sticking at this.

@Newmum29 have you managed to get back on board the AF life yet? I hope so. Personally I feel so much more able to deal with the challenges that come with babies and children the next day. Even 1 glass of wine (probably larger than a pub measure) would make me feel like crap the next day. Hope all is ok and you come back soon ❤️

@behindhereyes (I hope I’ve remembered the right person) I really hope your daughter makes a speedy recovery. How awful for you all to deal with this.

@Kittenminion I’m a big pet lover too, they’re family aren’t they. Well done for staying strong through such a difficult time.

@Breathmiller I love how supportive and positive you are for everyone else when you have so much going on personally. I hope you make a quick recovery from covid.

Hope you all have a good day. I’m trying to tidy my house & sort washing in between cuddling a baby that doesn’t want to be put down.

I think I'm very naive but I was surprised that a yoga teacher could be narcissistic and mean to others but then realised that I guess all sorts of personalities must get involved
You'd be surprised kindtomyself 😉

There is a tendency to put Yoga teachers and spiritual teachers on a pedestal and expect more from them. But the truth is we're all navigating this thing called life. I love breaking that perception and showing that I too struggle with normal human emotions and feelings. I've not got this whole thing all sorted out! But, what I can do is share the many tools I've learned and heard of along the way to help - me and my students/clients.

The biggest problem is when a teacher believes the hype themselves and the ego gets involved. And the yoga world certainly is not immune to that emotion.

When I'm doing my therapy work, it's not a case of me healing or fixing a client but giving them tools - physical, mental and emotional to give them the power to work for themselves with whatever they are battling with. The knowledge of these tools are just passing through me from my teachers to them. Some I have a deeper understanding than others because they have helped me. Some, I know, can help certain conditions and thought patterns that I don't have myself but I know from learning and studying that this particular practice can be useful and I invite them to try it and see what happens.

I suppose I'm just sitting with them as they explore life while I explore it too in all it's joys and suffering.

I like Ram Dass' words "We're all just walking each other home"

I like Ram Dass' words "We're all just walking each other home"

HangingOver, 2021 "Some Yoga teachers are total bellends"

I had one during Yin who was trying to get people to think about their past trauma. Totally inappropriate. You need training to do that shit!

HangingOver, 2021 "Some Yoga teachers are total bellends" grin

You speak wisely oh master.

I'm the queen of self care, I just bought myself a Bosh Birthday Cake.

(I was born in August)

A Bosh Cake is not just for Christmas. (Or birthdays)

Morning all.

@Breathmiller @HangingOver I went to yoga last night and watched the yoga teacher very very carefully . My thought on yoga teachers was not that they had life sorted but more that they have been through some challenges themselves and have found some peace with a yoga practice and want to share with others. However writing this I know that isn't actually true for all of them
and there are some that are looking at it as a very lucrative business (I do know some of these actually so I think I was having a mad innocent moment with my comments yesterday).
That Bikram Choudhry film on Netflix says it all

Bosh cake yum - I make a fab chocolate vegan cake

An observation- I realised yesterday that I am starting to put myself under stress trying to fit too much in. This is so typical of me - I basically attempt to run away from any feelings by being so busy I'm on edge and anxious, I'm not very good at relaxing. I went to yoga but I was really stressed before getting there because I was trying to fit too much in - work, helping dd with homework, making tea etc etc that I was a bit sharp with dd.

I'm not doing this again

@Kindtomyself well done for noticing and thank you for writing that as I have a cold and have still been pushing myself to do 2/3 yoga practises a day plus work plus look after DS plus bike riding. And then stupidly wondering why I don't feel better yet.

I am now going to watch that Netflix yoga docu. Although, and no one can tell me otherwise, that Adriene (yoga on youtube) is lovely and I love her

Oh and 25 days for me

@HangingOver

How long before the glowing complexion kicks in?

Do you smoke as well? For me I kicked the fags just after the booze... Turns out I don't have adult acne, it's just smoking is really unbelievably bad for you

No i dont smoke but well done you for giving up both.

[quote Adm1010]@coodawoodashooda I’m just over five weeks sober , whilst I don’t have a glowing complexion I am certainly less bloated in the face and definitely look fresher .[/quote]
That must feel good. I've spent lots of this year off the booze. There really are no actual benefits in alcohol are there? Strange to think.

Hello! Shame face, I blew it last night cooking dinner that took AGES as treat for Dp. Ugh, feeling grim today.
I love reading this thread it’s so uplifting.
HOW can I see a bottle as poison?

@Namebunny I try to really think of the positives of alcohol, and I never find any.

@Namebunny

Hello! Shame face, I blew it last night cooking dinner that took AGES as treat for Dp. Ugh, feeling grim today. I love reading this thread it’s so uplifting. HOW can I see a bottle as poison?

That doesn't work for me. Im better if i focus on how nice ill feel in the morning.

Are non alcojolic substitutes accepted as fair game on this thread?

@Namebunny what did the voice say to you to convince you to drink? Understanding that is the key .

@coodawoodashooda I don’t drink alcohol substitutes as I view them the same way I view “ one glass “ …. Totally pointless

It's great to see so many people racking up the days and appearing regularly on here to report progress. It was such a big part of sticking to my decision to know I 'had' to come on and talk about how it was going.

Alcohol substitutes divide opinion. Some people find them triggering and are better off avoiding completely. I drank litres of Becks Blue in the first few weeks of sobriety. It was a useful parachute. Now I rarely drink it although it is useful for parties and other social events because I find that carrying a bottle around seems to keep people off my case about not drinking (Silly, isn't it?!)

Some folk find it fun to have a bottle of nosecco or similar for special occasions. I'd rather have a nice cup of tea. 😉And inspired by one of the sober goddesses on here, I now make my own kombucha which is epic!

Hi everyone, checking in...so close to day 100 which was the milestone I really wanted to get to. Still feel like I'm still trying to learn to 'be' without alcohol and still have cravings and voices in my head to cope with. But...the amount of time and energy I now have has really surprised me. I've started running regularly, something I've wanted to do for years.

I find alcohol substitutes useful if I'm having a craving but I think I'm relying on them less and less as time goes on.

Well done to everyone here, you're all amazing and for those in the early days, it really is worth it, keep going.

Just had a phone appt with my GP for my liver scan results. I just have fatty liver, no scarring. Cause: alcohol, junk food and zero exercise. That’s a massive relief. Or it should be! It wasn’t my usual GP so he didn’t have the full background and said I could drink moderately unless I have a problem with alcohol. So please lovely people tell me I must still to zero alcohol.
I would have explained but I’d had quite a long chat as he went through mental health stuff too so I just left it.

100 days is such a big achievement, @FieldGuide. So exciting to be so close!

Stick with it!
Massive relief as you say but worth staying the course - glad you have the results and hope it helps you focus 👍

@SparklingLime what would be the benefit of moderation? Is the risk you can't worth the benefit of thinking you can? If that makes sense.

Thanks, @AlloftheTime.

Just realised it sounded a bit like I was avoiding the issue in that GP appt, but my usual GP knows of my former bottle of cheap chardy per day habit. I think because I told him I’d now stopped for nearly a month it sounded like I don’t have a problem. Which I do.