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Alcohol support

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Freedom! An alcohol free thread, for alcohol free people.

999 replies

Drybird2020 · 16/08/2021 20:30

This is the latest in an established series of supportive and friendly threads, for anyone committing to a life without booze. If you have tried and failed to be a sensible, occasional or moderate drinker, and have come to the conclusion that you just can’t do it, you are in good company.

I won’t lie, the first part is tough. And it’s tougher for some than others. You will need to learn new ways of managing stress and negotiating social occasions. You will have to learn that alcohol and fun are not the same thing. Your relationships will change, often for the better, but some hard-drinking friends will turn away from the mirror your sobriety holds up to their own habits. You will find that the feelings you tried to drown in booze, come bubbling up to the surface and there’s no option but to face them. You will feel physically and emotionally low, as you relive and regret the stupid, painful and selfish things you did while drinking.

Here’s the good news: the first part will soon be over. It will be more worth it than you can possibly imagine. Life will still be messy, difficult and poignant, but so much sweeter, sharper, and more real.

This thread is a great place to ask for advice and tips, whinge and moan, check in for daily accountability, and run to when you have a craving that scares you. We also have quality chat about running, books, gardening, pets, and occasional meaningful conversations about our lives. Grin

As should be obvious from the above, the thread is a DRY ZONE. Discussion of current drinking is extremely unhelpful to anyone in the early days, and people who have been alcohol-free for a long time benefit from a safe, dry space to talk. If you are looking to stop imminently and need to ask questions, go ahead, but leave your glass at the door. You wouldn’t take a drink to an AA meeting, so don’t do it here. You are welcome to post regularly from Day 1 onwards. If you suspect you have a physical dependency and need to cut down, seek medical help. If you want to be alcohol free except for a glass at Christmas and on your birthday, that’s moderation and you can talk about it on a moderation thread.

This is a rather long OP already so might I suggest that people use their first post to recommend their favourite quit-lit or other sources of help and support? Don't forget to say hello and a little bit abut your journey (if you want to). Many thanks.

Brew Cake Flowers

OP posts:
Kindtomyself · 10/09/2021 22:25

@Adm1010 sorry to hear about your son’s friend that’s so sad. He must be devastated. It’s great that you picked him up. I keep thinking about times when I have not done things I probably should have because I wanted to drink.

AlloftheTime · 10/09/2021 23:07

@Adm1010 that’s very sad to hear but so pleased you were there to collect your son and keep AF.
@ChampooPapi that made me smile, sounds like they sprouted legs and ran!

Managed the evening with minimal fuss and sparkling water - so pleased it was as pain free as it was, check in complete.

BunniesBunniesBunnies · 11/09/2021 05:21

@Adm1010 that’s so sad for your son but how wonderful you can be there for him.

@ChampooPapi that sounds stressful but I’m sorry to say your post also made me laugh, smoking or destroying my gcse certificates is exactly the sort of thing my teenage self would have done😂😂😂

BOOnanasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 11/09/2021 05:52

Hiya- hope I’m welcome here. I used to be on Mumsnet loads, but spent nearly two years hitting rock bottom and coming back from it! Was in rehab last year in July, relapsed at Christmas but am just over seven months sober now. A very grateful alcoholic.

ChampooPapi · 11/09/2021 06:39

@BunniesBunniesBunnies the ignorance of youth ey? 'i'll never need these bastard things again, they symbolise the 'system', the 'machine', F you world!'..... Flash forward twenty years....I NEED THEM SO MUCH!!!!

ChampooPapi · 11/09/2021 06:51

@AlloftheTime 😂😂

AlloftheTime · 11/09/2021 07:06

@BOOnanasAreTheSourceOfEvil well done you. I’ve found this a welcoming and supportive place to be.

Perriwinkles · 11/09/2021 11:31

Checkin in on Day 21. Day 21 is a big one for me because they say it takes 21 days to make a new habit. Tonight is my first real test as I’m going out with friends. I feel fairly determined to stay dry as I really want to make it to Day 22. We almost did it @Nosilayak

Have a lovely sober weekend all. Wishing you all strength & alcohol free joy.

Kindtomyself · 11/09/2021 11:40

@BOOnanasAreTheSourceOfEvil I’m a newbie on here (7 days AF) but it is a welcoming group. So glad you’ve joined us. Amazing on 7 months sober that’s truly inspirational. It sounds like you have come out of very difficult times.

Kindtomyself · 11/09/2021 11:42

@Perriwinkles I hope you have a lovely time tonight. Do you have a plan in place? It’s so good that we can still have a social life AF

Nosilayak · 11/09/2021 11:45

@Perriwinckles Congrats on reaching day 21! Hope you have a good time tonight and manage to stay AF. I know it won't be easy, but look what you've achieved so far and you'll be so proud of yourself tomorrow x

ChampooPapi · 11/09/2021 11:47

@Perriwinkles AF beer all the way girl! You've got this 💪

BunniesBunniesBunnies · 11/09/2021 12:27

Have fun tonight @Perriwinkles and well done on Day 21😊

Adm1010 · 11/09/2021 14:27

Wishing everyone peace and strength for the weekend Daffodil

Thankyou for the comments around me being able to support my son . I’m day 7 today and certainly feel more “ present “ in terms of my family etc . Generally calmer and more able to think and be more productive .
Another thing I’ve noticed this week I’ve cooked more . Less takeaways . I’m becoming less lazy Blush

imamearcat · 11/09/2021 18:00

Have a good night @Perriwinkles

Day 6 for me and finding myself wanting a drink more than days 1 to 5. I guess that's Saturdays for ya!

Nosilayak · 11/09/2021 19:18

Evening all! Yes, Saturday nights are a real challenge and not easy are they? Especially for anyone going out. I've had my dinner early and I'm now trawling Netflix and Prime to take my mind of the vino. Good luck to everyone in staying AF x

imamearcat · 11/09/2021 19:28

I think I'm probably over the worst now, it's coming up to dinner time for me, but we eat early with the kids.

I'm just watching a Shrek with the kids but had super active day so I reckon when they are asleep I'll probs go to bed too.

Happy Saturday everyone

Clouds78 · 11/09/2021 19:46

Checking in x

AWonderfulNewName · 11/09/2021 20:34

3rd day for me today.
I have stopped in the past for a couple of months but the drink slowly crept back in.
Last Wednesday I had a 1/3 of a wine glass and it hit me so hard - it's like my body was already almost drunk and an extra sip tipped it over the edge.
Every time I drunk, in recent weeks, I immediately felt like every drop of energy and happiness is leaving me. Like Dementors Shock
Why did I drink you might ask? I have no idea. It was like a compulsion to drink - knowing I won't enjoy it even at the beginning.
I am listening to Allen Carr's audiobook now and hoping it will help.

SoberSept21 · 11/09/2021 21:23

@AWonderfulNewName this really resonates - I would find myself chugging my way through a bottle of wine but not enjoying it at all, why carry on? Ah well. Day 6 for me and feeling good. I've cancelled my wine subscription and bought a tea one. Feeling so much more 'present' now without an alcohol fuzz around me.
Happy Saturday everyone

Newmum29 · 11/09/2021 23:18

Day 7 for me and past Friday and Sat nights Star

I’m in Aus and we’re in a lockdown so it has definitely been easier to avoid alcohol (no opportunity to meet with friends or go for work drinks).

I’m having a lot of tonic and soda water but feeling good and proud of myself. Even managed yoga yesterday.

ChampooPapi · 12/09/2021 07:02

Checking in, day 50 🙌

AlloftheTime · 12/09/2021 07:08

Get you @ChampooPapi!!!
Well done 👏

Kindtomyself · 12/09/2021 07:52

Day 8 hurrah

BOOnanasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 12/09/2021 08:13

Keep going guys you’re doing great!

I spent last night at my friends (also an alcoholic in recovery) and was helping clean up and set up for her sons confirmation. I was up on the counter cleaning a window and I sat on his beautiful €75 cake 🙈🙈🙈

Going out for a meal today which will be my first time out in a big group in a pub/restaurant with people drinking. They’re all aware of my situation so there won’t be any pressure to ‘just have one’ so that’ll be nice, but I am curious as to how I’ll feel with other people on the vino.