Mindfulness, Moderating and Not Texting In The Kitchen !

[Amdone123]

Morning all..hope you're all ok. Well I had busy weekend. I didn't quite stick to my plans : I drank Friday evening ( didn't eat), and drank last night, too. I don't feel great today but I am looking forward to having a break. I know I want to get back to being af and all its benefits.
I was thinking that I am able to stay in and not drink. My next step will be going out and not going mad !

Aaargh, my post keeps deleting!

Sorry for the duplication, is anyone else finding the site glitchy tonight?

Morning all!!!!!
just catching up on everyones news!!!!

so it’s day 11 alcohol free for me, I did manage the dry weekend I am
pleased to say! I have noticed my mood is high, and I feel more capable and energised. I think it’s a combination of alcohol free and my wellness/fitness focus! Anyway long may it last!

@Amdone123 I’m sorry you had one of those days recently where it all goes wrong but it’s great to hear you have your renewed resolution for the week ahead!!! @Hohofortherobbers @TripleTipplePipple keep up the good work and @Soberjan your birthday sounds like a success!!!!!

Heres to another sober (and rainy) day!!!!!!!

Also @TripleTipplePipple i down a big glass of water first thing… defo helps!!!!! And once I’ve done that I find I naturally hydrate more!

Morning all, can I ask what you think..... I'm on day 14 but have pretty much had a dodgy tummy the last two weeks. We've been drinking AF alternatives and I've been taking vitamins. Do you think that might be triggering it? I'm going to have to just have a water week I think to see if it helps. It's driving me nuts. I'm prone to IBS anyway but this isn't a flare up, more of a mild irritation.

Morning, all.. @TripleTipplePipple , I'm no expert but yes, I would try to just have water this week. Af alternatives are great, but they've still got 'stuff' in them, and if you're prone to ibs anyway, they could be upsetting your tummy. I don't have ibs, but I've found as much as af drinks can be a lifesaver, they're not for me. I stick to water ( sparkling, flavoured) or diet drinks ( since af drinks trigger me sometimes, in a different way !)
Give it a go this week and at least you'll have a better idea. You're doing so well - day 14, woo !!
@Mj20 , well done on reaching double figures. You're doing brilliantly, too. Thank you for the empathy regarding my bad day ! I didn't beat myself up, I had an idea it might happen ( the drinks) before everything started going wrong. I'm just so pleased with myself that on Sunday, I didn't pick any up.
Anyway, today I'm on day 8 ( as in my 8th af day in January). I didn't go back to day 1 after my blip as I'm aiming for a number of af days in January - 27 ), so all good.
Have a great, sober , rainy day everyone! ❤️

@Amdone123 i think it’s really sensible not to just disregard all your hard work because of one little blip! It’s a bit like a diet isn’t it, we wouldn’t just discount the whole month of healthy eating and exercising if we had a take away!!!!

im really trying to find some kindness to myself in this journey and it seems you are too 🥰 it really is the way forward xx

@Mj20 , definitely. Regarding diets, I think people fail when they have a bad day and then, instead of getting back on it ( a bad day's eating is highly unlikely to put weight on), they abandon it totally. My approach to healthy eating has changed over the years. I have to weigh myself today ( nhs 12 week program- great app), and I'm looking forward to it, not dreading it. A pound will be fine !
Also, I never beat myself up, there's no point. I have moments of self doubt like everyone else, but overall, I'm definitely as nice to myself as I'd be to anyone else.

Hi all well done @Hohofortherobbers and @TripleTipplePipple and @Mj20 amazing you all are! it must have been so so hard as well the first sober weekend when you are so used to drinking! I definitely find my triggers are my kids especially the older one when he starts shouting/screaming when he's tired and doesn't know how to deal with the emotions. Then little one wants attention and I'm tearing my hair out! I had a major craving earlier but read somewhere about its over in 7 mins and I've busted open a Coke zero....doesn't really satisfy the cravings ! So when you guys are talking about diets I am really bad lol I ate crisps bread fried chicken sweets chox you name it..but I really donr want to drink! I know from before it gets easier the more AF days you do but hmmm. So going on @Amdone123 I'm on 6 days AF this month so far better than zero ! @TripleTipplePipple I used to get a very dodgy stomach when I stopped and added the vitamins but maybe it's the body getting used to no booze and sorting itself out along with the IBS? Trying to be kind to oneself is so hard @Mj20 but we can but try....

@Soberjan , 6 days af this month is great. You're doing well, just keep trying. Hats off to you regarding the children - I don't think I'd cope. It's a difficult month January to abstain/ diet, anything! Everyone I speak to is fed up. I just know for me that drinking wine will only help me temporarily. It's not worth it for me, being up all night. Though I was ok after Saturday 's blip, but probably because I ate.
The 7 minute idea is interesting. I bet its true.
Well, I lost.....1 pound ! Woo. I was ready to be down on myself but remembered I'd told @Mj20 that a pound would be fine. And so it is.
Keep going, folks - it's not easy, but nothing worth it is.

Well done on the pound better than nothing @Amdone123 !! Thank you for your support and everyone on this who's been helping me along you won't know how much it helps as there was a point I had to lock the little one in the bathroom so older one wouldntbash him. The older one broke down crying and writhing and it was horrible to see and I did say a few choice words I regret now but Im proud I didn't reach for the booze ! I had a Coke zero instead and now I'm high on caffeine (gave up caffeine about 8 weeks ago!) Whoops. Haha he's all calm now he was hangry and tired he doesn't know how to articulate his emotions neither do I sometimes ! I cried a little earlier because of something DH did lol I'm a wreck but I'm not drinking as you say it's temporary that feeling ...I have work tomorrow and Thursday so don't want to drink actually until next weekend when I am out but lets see! X

Hi all came home from work and immediately said to DH I need booze because I was so stressed and angry but because I then had to sort out one soaking wet child who played football in the torrential rain and started dinner the thought has gone ! But I was close...how is everyone doing @Amdone123 @Mj20 @TripleTipplePipple @Hohofortherobbers ? Hope you are all well and it wasn't as wet where you guys all are!

It's surprising how fleeting the cravings are isn't it? Always worth holding firm for half an hour or so. I'm good, out at a show last night, seeing other customers in the restaurant enjoying generous glasses of red was envy inducing, but again only briefly. My friend wasn't drinking so no temptation from her.

Oops, I have fallen. I am on my 2nd bottle. I woke up, really pretty rubbish. I was awake from 3am onwards ( my dh had said that he doesn't understand this - when he gets up with our dog , I'm snoring - I must be imagining it, then - )
Anyway, I've had a good day overall - though I have to admit - a few family problems - argghh - putting out other people's problems).
❤️

@Hohofortherobbers well done for your night out and not drinking even after watching others with their wines in the restaurant that would have been hard for me but it's good your friend didn't drink either otherwise that would been tempting ! Glad you had a good time too and clear head in the morning.
@Amdone123 I honestly do not blame you I had a bottle of prosecco other night (one of the nights I wasnt planning in drinking but did )but didn't tell DH and hid the empty (he judges sometimes I'm pretty sure ) literally the fuck it button is so close every day. We are all trying our best! And yes he's not up at 3am when you are is he? Lol Hope you have a better sleep tonight ! Be kind to yourself

Gosh @Soberjan I can relate with the kids thing. Mine drive me potty and part of me realizing I needed to cut back on my drinking was because I was pouring a large wine to gear up for the bedtime routine. Then carrying on drinking from there. I've not heard about the 7 minute thing but it makes sense. Well done for holding out! I'm sure you'll not regret it tomorrow.

Never mind @Amdone123 tomorrow is another day. Finish off your glass and get an early night. Hope things are calmer with your family tomorrow.

Well done @Hohofortherobbers I dont think I'd survive a night out sober at the moment so you did well!

I'm ok, been a bit wobbly today as have lots going on with family which isnt fun. Had mega food cravings today so have just gone with it and eaten lots. I'll be better tomorrow.....hopefully! Still no booze and today is the first day I've not really thought about it but that might just be because I've not stopped eating all day 😂

Hi all!!!!!
suffering insomnia! So I’m wide awake at this ungodly hour! Couldn’t bear to lie there tossing and turning a moment longer- so tea on the sofa it is!!!!

@Soberjan 6 days A/f is a win!!! Well done! and your showing great self awareness/restraint when your realising the tricky times with the kids are a trigger as I’m sure they are for many! How old are your kids @Soberjan My son is 15.

@Hohofortherobbers well done on remaining Alcohol free, your doing such a good job!!!! Especially being out and about in an environment where others are drinking! You must have great Will power! I’m still debating whether to drink on my birthday or not…. As I think a restaurant will make me want to! Need to consider this a bit more!!!!

@Amdone123 sorry to hear your having some family things going on in the background! It can be so detrimental and frustrating when others start affecting our well being. Don’t be too hard on yourself regarding the wine! It’s a blip along the journey, we will all have them! Draw a line under it and carry on as you were- you’re doing great! Also better a pound off than on! My friend actually made a really valid point the other day… 14 weeks of a pound off (which at the time feels like nothing) is a stone which is really significant so it’s actually about the little consistent losses adding up! And she’s so right! But I’m a devil for wanting quick results!!!!!

@TripleTipplePipple i feel you on the food front! I ate loads of chocolate today cos I felt a bit hormonal and overwhelmed! Annoyed with myself but I just think as @Amdone123 said it’s hard to diet/abstain and do it all! Sometimes something has to give!!!! You’re doing so well with the Alchol free though, go you!!!!!

Im still alchol free too!!!! I think that’s 12 days now…. The day before New Year’s Eve (when I drank loads)! I’m finding it ok. The week doesn’t bother me too much it’s kinda Thursday onwards and I think I’ll notice it this weekend! But I’m just going to keep on keeping on (hopefully)! Diet and fitness is going well, other than the chocolate, but I’m feeling a bit bleugh at the moment. A bit flat I suppose! That initial high has worn off but I’m sure I’ll brighten up soon!!!

sorry for the long ramble but I’ve been quiet for a few days 🤣🤣🤣 look forward to hearing how everyone’s doing xxxx

Hi @Mj20 ! I hope you managed to get some sleep after that! Even an hour or so! My little one who's 7 woke me up around 230 to go to the toilet but I'm like why was me up just bloody go! My other son is only 10 which is what worries me as I'm only just talked than him at the moment and can stop his rage but when he gets older I don't know. He's lovely and sweet at times but gets this stuff going on! And he seems to be jealous of little one for a number of reasons. It's been like that since he was a toddler which is why I drank even more back then!
Lovely what you have written for everyone you are quite motivating and 12 days is bloody amazing ! I wish I could say I have a streak like that but I think I'm not 8 days so pretty good! I'm hoping to go on until next weekend when it's my friends birthday when is it your birthday thing? Hope everyone is feeling ok this morning x

Morning all. @Soberjan , I hope things get better for you with your son - it must be such a worry for you. You're doing great with 8 days, don't worry about having a streak - I think we're pretty similar. @Mj20 , hope you're not feeling too jaded this morning. That's why I was fed up the other day - I hadn't drank but was still wide awake at 3am. 12 days is brilliant, so keep going.
I'm ok today. Ended up having 1.5 bottles. I also drank 1.5 litres of sparkling water so don't feel hungover. I actually had a good day yesterday. Yes, I did help a few people with their problems - I was like Mary Poppins ( on speed ), but I felt great during the day, so no idea why I drank.
I do know I've stopped beating myself up so I'm happy with that. It's not thee end of the world.
Dh has suggested a weekend away, well, Saturday morning til Sunday night, a mini walking break in Wales, so I'm looking forward to that. Again, I'll probably drink - no point saying I won't!
I think / hope that at the end of January, I will have had 25 af days, so all good.
Have a lovely day, folks, whatever you're doing. Soon be summer !

As you're all working your way through Dry January, here are a couple of questions to ask yourself.

• How would I feel about having no alcohol in my life?
• How would the version of me who has this drinking thing sorted react in this moment?

I want to qualify the first question as follows: I'm not suggesting you have to go AF for life, but how you answer this question will be very illustrative.

If you think "that would be great" vs "that sounds like not a lot of fun", these thoughts are going to determine very different results for you, no matter what day by day actions you implement and try to change.

Also wanted to let you all know that moderation.org is running a dry January campaign, the free part of this is receiving daily emails of inspiration in case you want to sign up for that.

Afternoon, @brightspice and happy new year. Thank you for your post.
Regarding the first question, years ago ( about 25 years ago), I told a friend that if I went to the gp and they said I could never drink again, I would be devastated. She was shocked.
I don't feel like that anymore !
I'll think about it a bit deeper, but my initial answer would be I would miss it, as I enjoy it ; I like it when I'm relaxing, eating good food, enjoying the good things in life, etc.
Yesterday, I was feeling happy but now when I think about it, I was also hungry ( I'd only had a small breakfast all day ) and I was tired ( I'd enjoyed my cleaning job, but I cleaned non stop for about 3 hours). I suppose I was on a high. So, the af me would have eaten something, had a bath and got into bed !
Thanks for the moderation.org link - I'll check it out.

I did the moderation.org questionnaire and scored 11 out of 20, medium dependence.
I'd be interested in others' scores, if anyone wants to do it ?

Gone through a bit of the website but can't find a quiz?

I just googled moderation.org and the quiz option came up in the drop bar thing. ( came up as moderation.org questionnaire - sorry, just remembered that ! )

@Amdone123 yes, Happy New Year!!

it’s totally okay to enjoy a glass of wine or two with good food etc, but in a neutral kind of way. What I mean by this is, can you do all those things (relax enjoy the food…) without the wine? Can you consider enjoying those things without the wine? Because then you are the one in control. You are not giving any control or power to the alcohol. You know you can have a good time whether the wine is there or not. Explore how different this feels.

And on the matter of being tired and drinking, one of the things I teach my clients is to never ever ever drink in response to an emotion. This means not to drink when you’re tired, overly sad, overexcited … instead to wait a little until the level of emotion has subsided, and then to have the drink (if you still want it). This in itself can be a game changer.

Good and calm evenings to all