Mindfulness, Moderating and Not Texting In The Kitchen !

[Amdone123]

Morning all..hope you're all ok. Well I had busy weekend. I didn't quite stick to my plans : I drank Friday evening ( didn't eat), and drank last night, too. I don't feel great today but I am looking forward to having a break. I know I want to get back to being af and all its benefits.
I was thinking that I am able to stay in and not drink. My next step will be going out and not going mad !

@Whitecistus that’s ok! Today is as good as any to start ♥️

@Mj20 ☺️🥰

Morning all ! I had day 1 yesterday but as I was hungover I don't really count it, so @Whitecistus I'll start today with you. I rarely drink with a hangover but I have done in the past. I did nothing yesterday - just lay in bed with the dog.
I feel good today, positive. My 4 week holiday made me realise that I'm perfectly happy at home, etc ! Today's plan is a walk, food shopping and I'm going to weigh myself.
@Soberoct , alcohol and the menopause, I agree - they do not go well together. Honestly, I was never an anxious person. Last few years, and especially when I'm hungover, anxiety can be quite bad. The only thing that settles me is journalling.
Have a great day, everyone. We can do it !

Morning all! After my positive message last Wednesday I went home and drank a bottle of wine then passed out before DH had got back from football with food . Woke up on the couch at 2am covered in a blanket with my cold burrito sat in front of me. I was off on Thursday anyway so it ended up being the best nights sleep I've had in a while. Still managed to be productive despite my fuzzy head and went with DH for a drive by of that property we love (and still love) then made a small start on cleaning the house.

I've been moderating again since then and had one bottle of wine over 3 nights this weekend. We've cleared out our conservatory/dumping ground, tidied up every room and replaced our rug and sofa cushions which were a bit bland. I wish I could remember all the lessons from selling houses with Amanda lamb. I binge watched it when we were moving 7 years ago and can't face doing it again. DH has emailed three estate agents to get the ball rolling with valuations, I think once they're booked in we'll have some real momentum on the decluttering. He's also contacted the agents for the house we love to see if they'll let us view despite not quite being on the market yet. I'm excited and nervous that this might really happen.

Oh and I've now told DH not to worry about buying me wine on the way home. He did it twice this week (2 bottles at a time). I really don't have the discipline to have it in the house at the moment.

Morning all, hope it's okay to join. Day one for me today, AGAIN! ! A bottle of wine a night!! I did AF for about a week recently, felt good , so really want to get back to that but just can't seem to get past day one again, I just keeping putting it off saying il start tomorrow! Once it hits 5 o clock , I struggle!

@stoppingnow We drink because we are seeking to feel some emotion we don't currently feel in the moment when we reach for the drink.

Do you know what that emotion is for you? Or emotions?

EG if we want to feel relaxed when we get home from work, we may want to relax, we just need to relax now and usually when we get in we won't be feeling relaxed (understandably). And when we don't have that sought-after feeling, we are motivated to go and get it. And if you've drank in that situation before you've trained your brain to seek that relaxation from something outside of yourself - from wine. The longer this goes on the more entrenched it becomes.

So start with finding what feeling it is that you're wanting to feel and see how actually feeling whatever it is in that moment - let's say tiredness - is actually OK. It's not a problem. We're human. Sometimes we feel tired or sad or frustrated. And it's OK for us to feel that way and you can do that (eg think of feeling frustrated at 8am - most of us probably wouldn't immediately think 'I need a drink!' though the feeling is the same).

So a key element of stopping overdrinking is simply being able to sit with and process the feelings. All of them.

@onemoreforme , you've been busy! I was tired reading that. Hope you get your dream. You did well over the weekend. You were probably too tired to drink ! @stoppingnow, Hi and welcome. Well, if you've done a week af, the good news is you know you can do it ! May I ask, do you have alcohol in the house ? I would find it very difficult to have it in, so I don't buy it in. Also, is 5pm a struggle because that's when you get to sit down / rest, etc. It's very difficult breaking habits but doable. Try to get day 1 done today and tomorrow is another day. You can do it with us.
Well, I've just been for a walk, and weighed myself in Boots. Oh dear ! I'm not the heaviest I've been but I'm not far off !

@stoppingnow 5oclock is my trigger time too. Find it so difficult to resist the urge
@brightspice that’s a really helpful post thank you

@Whitecistus don't worry I said I wouldn't last night and then wasn't planning at all and then I'm watching TV with kids and DH suddenly has a crisp glass of white in his hand I said wth??? He said it's his weekend drinking etc but after Saturday night I didn't think he would want to but he had left the wine on the side and empty wine glass for me and I had some but nothing like I used to I would have wanted more and more so today I've poured appeltiser in a wine glass thanks to @brightspice advice! So I definitely am not drinking tonight ! @stoppingnow mine was 5pm then 4pm etc and a week is great! I have done quite a few months before so would like to do it again too x

Also my kid is driving me absolutely nuts which is a trigger for my drinking but I'm really trying not to (he is tired hangry etc)

And this is my tricky time. Dinner eaten, kids in bed. I should probably just go to bed.....

Yes if you can go to bed with a book or something do it! @TripleTipplePipple My kids don't sleep until late

@Soberoct mine wouldn't normally go this early but they're both wiped out by bugs so needed the extra bit of time. My youngest is 4 and was out like a light at 630pm! DH has just come all excited because he's bought a new car so no chance I'm going to bed just yet.

@brightspice thanks so much for the reply, I do think i drink to relax , I feel like I'm always stressed by the evening and this is my way to relax!! Whether I'm at home wit the kids all day or working I still think I need a glass at 5pm ! I'm doing good so far this evening, thinking of getting an early night to avoid any temptation.

@Amdone123 no I don't keep it the house. Just pick up a bottle in the evening on the way home! 5 of clock is kinda high stress time, with dinner and kids , it's just busy and loud !!! So I think In my head, having a glass at that time takes the edge off!

@TripleTipplePipple ah you poor things being ill hopefully on the up now!!! It's also so hard with young kids I just feel like it's wine o clock all of the time! So I didn't drink last night but as usual the first few days I don't sleep until gone midnight and wake up early lol but that does definitely get better!
@stoppingnow that's great you didn't go and buy on the way home. Unfortunately we have lots and lots of it in the house because if H but I still didn't succumb I wanted to so badly! I took drink to relax/wipe away stress etc but you are supposed to sit there and take the stress without blocking it with drink. I know I've just had so many fuck it moments. Hopefully not for this entire week! Hope you are well @Amdone123 glad you are cosy at home and planning things that's don't involve drinking! I forget but does your DH drink ?

I managed a day 1! But have woken up with a sore throat and feel a bit fluey. I'm so done with bugs!

Oh no @TripleTipplePipple !! 😞
I also managed day 1, here’s to day 2!

@TripleTipplePipple , well done ! Now on to day 2 - you can do it,one day at a time. Sorry you're feeling ill. @Soberoct , my dh doesn't drink. He'll have a beer on holiday or celebration days. He's 60 next year and is a gym bunny. He swims before work, even in winter, jogs at night, even in winter. Fascinates me. I do nothing in winter.
I feel great today. Went food shopping yesterday and because I was highly motivated to not drink, I didn't pick any up ( it didn't really occur to me) - I know it won't always be this easy, but I woke up through the night and reminded myself how good I feel when I haven't drank.
I dislike winter immensely but I'm looking on the next 40 days as a challenge. I need a challenge!

@Whitecistus , that's great, we'll done. Day 2 here with you .

Oh no @TripleTipplePipple hope your feeling a little better this evening. Well I have to admit I had 3 glasses of wine tonite, I'm mad with myself already while posting this, (hoping it's still ok to post) I know you all are doing really well. Day one for me again tomorrow!!
I'm hoping posting here helps me when everyone is saying how well they're doing gives me a bit of a kick to keep going!! Ivr just started audiobook the unexpected joy of being sober so hopefully that may make me see some sense.

@stoppingnow , don't beat yerself up, just keep trying. Interesting to me that you were mad at yourself on the same night. If I ever have a drink when not planned, I forget all good intentions and just happily carry on ! My regret comes the following morning, usually early hours.
In fact, I was thinking about this. Often during times of abstention, I think a lot about how I've embarrassed myself ( by my own standards) when I've been drunk. I then realised this is sometimes enough to make me drink so I forget! I'm now in the process of trying to forgive myself and put it all behind me. ( Hope that makes sense. I'm tired but can't sleep - see time !).
I'm doing OK at the moment. I'm actually looking forward to an af weekend.

Of course it's ok to post @stoppingnow ! I had that one AF night Monday night slept not great but was proud of myself and then yesterday also drank. So I'm not drinking tonight! 1 day off 1 day on 1 day off is still a winner in my book from someone who drinks every evening! I don't even know why I did it I forgot to pause and ask myself why I was pouring the drink yes had a crap work day etc but still. Anyway on and up.

Hi all, just wanted to let you know I've just been featured on the '5 Minutes for Me' app (downloadable from Apple & Google Play and free for first 14 days)... In just 5 minutes I explain how to get started with changing your drinking. So if you need some inspiration and only have 5 mins available, it's the place to go.x