The Freedom Thread; for those embracing a life without alcohol.

[Drybird2020]

Welcome to the 7th thread in this series, which has helped me and many others find the way to a life free of and free from alcohol.

Anyone is welcome! Newbies, you will find emotional support, tips for handling cravings, strategies for handling social occasions and plenty of first-hand experiences to mirror your own. An alcohol problem makes you feel lonely and isolated, but you are not alone.

Please be aware that this is an abstinence thread – it can be difficult and triggering in the early stages to be around alcohol related chat (however, it might help to know that one of the gifts of long-term sobriety is not being at all bothered by people drinking or talking about drinking in your presence!) So, if you feel that moderation is for you, or if you feel you need to cut down before stopping, there are other threads in Alcohol Support that can help, or you can start one for the specific support you need.

Oldies, come and share milestones, enjoy the chat, and pay forward the kindness and non-judgemental support we have all benefitted from. And when you have the time, do yourselves a favour by finding where you started and reading through all your posts, it will show you how far you have come and what you have achieved! (I'll add links to previous threads in my next post).

Morning all. Jeez I’m baked already! ☀️☀️
Hello to all the the newbies. Fab to have you on board but let’s not already be thinking that you’re going to fall overboard. Two fingers up to the defeatist attitude. You can do this. You absolutely can. Thing is will power alone may not be enough. Arm yourselves with a toolbox. We e chatted about those a lot on here, so have a read through. Come back to add what’ll be in yours. Read quit lit. Listen to podcasts as you really really need to change your mindset. Alcohol is a poison. It’s adds nothing to your life. It takes so much away. You are most definitely not missing out. I’d highly recommend Annie Grace’s ‘alcohol experiment’ - it’s a free online 30 day course. There’s a payable one with more support too. Allen Carr and her were enough for me. And this thread!! Post everyday if you want to as it helps to be accountable. If you’re having a wobble post here! It’s likely someone around. Even on Xmas day when I had my first wobble I was kindly rescued by this lovely lot!
Now, Anyone got a cool pool I can dive into???

I got through the weekend.
Thanks to everyone for the advice and support here, it’s really helping.
Can’t say I feel great yet, but I love waking up with no hangover, and I’m hopeful for the future. I’m only 9 days in though, still feels like I have a mountain to climb.

I haven't posted in a few days. I'm still on the wagon but still didn't manage to keep it together on Saturday.

It's my bloody nemesis and I feel as though I need to approach it differently.

I was at my dads for a family gathering, I feel as though my tool box would have worked had I been at home. But I didn't anticipate needing to approach it differently if I was out socialising.

I don't have any social events for the next few weeks so I think it might be enough for me to have that permanent no.

I have holiday in august though. That will be the biggest challenge of all.

I genuinely see a future of zero alcohol though. Complete abstinence. It's in my grasp, I can feel it.
It's just taking me a minute to get all the way there.

You lot really are brilliant. Absolutely agree two fingers up to the defeatist attitude is the way to go.

Feeling much more positive today. I am signed up to the 30 day alcohol experiment and have watched today's videos. Totally recommend it to anyone else just starting out. That along with this thread is really helping.

I have read back through some of these threads but am going to start at the beginning and work through when I feel a wobble coming on. Could take me a while!

Ditto btw. I had cancer wtf am I still drinking?

Fantastic post from @Breathmiller.

Do more of what makes you feel good

I really needed to hear that at the moment and I’ll be implementing it this week!

Day 3 has begun. I have woke up feeling like i have been dragged through a hedge. Pounding headache and stomach ache. All self inflicted and my body fighting the toxins i put in there so no self pity here. Annie grace says embrace it as the body fighting back. Like a previous poster said i never have to do day one or two again. The mantra is back. Today sobriety is my priority and i will not drink.

Day 1 of couch to 5k (again) for me.
I keep coming back to it in my holidays then let it go when I'm back at work. I did the run then was walking all the way home with my running music still on amd Nutbush City Limit came on and I had the biggest grin on my face and just started running for fun. For fun! Then i stopped again. Then Raise Your Glass came on (i know i know- we've discussed the irony of that being one of my running songs) and when she came to the "Ahh Fuck!" bit I just thought "ah fuck it" and started running again. I got such a high. And apart from my sore foot where my barefoot shoes rubbed, i feel so fucking good!!

Off to the throw myself in the river to cool down.

Have fun sober pals.

Ah that post made me smile breathmiller. Especially the ‘fuck it’ less so jumping in the river 😱 We used to swim in the river as kids and I remember thinking it was a reed against my leg. It was an EEL!!!! 🤢🤢🤢
soberanne loving ‘sobriety is my priority’! so many good mantras on here. If you’ve a headache you could be dehydrated.
kittensgalore so pleased you found 30 day alcohol experiment. It’s great that it’s free. Do it all the way to the end as by day 20 or so you’ll think you’re ok and know it all and whilst there’s some truth in that it’s worth doing to the end.
@DontBiteTheBoobThatFeedsYou can we call you boobs or bite or ?? Without talking about anything you drank where did it go wrong? What worked? Even if only for a while?
Socialising is hard! I had Xmas day 7 days in and a couple of guests all drinking. Ok I was home but it wasn’t appropriate to go for a walk, run a bath, read a book as it was expected of me to socialise. Socialising undoubtedly requires a different toolbox to hanging out at home. Your going out one is like your handbag - a smarter well thought out one containing essentials and a few luxuries. My going out handbag contains 1) excuses - driving was a big one in the early days but now I just tell people and 2) knowing EXACTLY what I am going to order before I set foot outside the house if they have no AF beer. I take my own to BBQs etc. No one cares. There’s an Annie Grace podcast about socialising - it is very different. Definitely think through your August holiday. I found Portugal at half term quite tricky. @CardiganOfDoom has some good ‘tonic’ recipes you can add to sodas etc to make them more interesting but a lot of places sell mocktails and AF beers. Try a few AF recipes at home and ask the bar staff to make what you enjoy. I also need to start doing this as I’m a sucker for thinking I’m missing out 🙄
@FieldGuide don’t worry about not feeling great just yet. I’m not sure I’ve felt a change at all tbh but I no longer wake at 4am! Today was 830 🤣🤣 Feeling better is a bonus. So much more is happening that we can’t see. Also consider how you’re calmer, more tolerant? My skin & weight are the same but I’m absolutely most definitely nicer!! 😇 well, I think so!!

So the shop is closed and alcohol today is no longer an option so sobriety won. I feel quite low this evening and bored and lost but i know i just need to BattLe through These emotions as again its mybody fighting back. Thank you Everyone for you support. Can i appologise for not being particularly supportive to others but at the moment i am just getting myself through. Hopefully sometime in the not so distance future i will be in a good place and can pay the kindness..

@Soberanne - don’t worry about that at all. You are at the very start of your journey. I’m 3 months in and only just starting to try to be a little bit of help to other people.

Boredom is an issue for me too, but I keep telling myself it will be less of an issue as my brain recovers and I discover the sober joy I had as a five year old.

You are doing amazingly @Soberanne. I was so low at the beginning of my sobriety (lots of other issues which caused me to give up booze), you just have to battle through this first bit. Your body and mind will adapt and thrive with time. Keep going!!!

I’ve been 7 months of take take take on here. It’s all good! No one has minded one bit. It’s such very very early days! Go do something. Just for a bit. This feeling will pass. Find a podcast to listen to or an Annie Grace YouTube video. Go for a walk? Just vent on here! xxx

soberanne these early days are tough however your body is thanking you for not drinking- and it's busy getting rid of the toxins. This is the bit where you distract yourself and be kind to yourself while your body does its job.
The Sober Up app tells you what changes are happening to your body- I found that quite reassuring and motivating.
The Allen Carr book is good and I always hold onto a sentence in it about alcohol being 'attractively wrapped poison'.
I keep passing a billboard, I'm not sure what brand it of wine / or even if it was alcohol it's advertising but it has a group of men and women in a circle possibly dancing and laughing but grasping glasses of wine and I just think why on earth are they laughing while they are drinking that nasty stuff

Soberanne and other newbies- very soon your thoughts won't be consumed by thinking about drinking or not drinking, you'll start thinking about other stuff and realising that you can be (and will be) more present in your life.
Keep on going!

stayingvigilant there were trout jumping out the river beside us. When my husband stood still thr little tiny fish nibbled on his feet. He liked it.

SoberAnne no need to apologise, you are in the thick of it just now. Focus on you. Can you find something to do that you couldn't do if you had been drinking. I drove one evening to a local beauty spot. Not far away but I'd never go there in the evening as I couldn't drive. I suddenly felt very free. Like I'd just opened up another whole part of the day.

Can I ask as it's been playing on my mind, in a fun way, but what is the 'grey rock approach' referred to earlier in this thread? I don't really know mumsnet outside this thread but when I do drift out I find the UK humour hilarious so I'm dying to know. Maybe it's not mumsnet, maybe I need to google but I'm asking here!

breathmiller that's exactly it- other parts of the day open up as you end up doing stuff you wouldn't ordinarily do because you're no longer tied to a glass of whatever. Though I'm unfortunately more likely to be found in Lidl or out a walk rather than somewhere lovely! Or dc hobby- which the opportunity wouldn't have arisen for or been at all on my radar or possible if I had still been drinking.

I'm much more appreciative of time now. As well as choices and doors that can open in life, that I just didn't see before when I was too busy thinking about drinking/ not drinking.

@Soberanne
Don't apologise for not helping...firstly, what you are doing is HUGE and will need all your focus. Secondly, you are helping me - reading about you starting on the journey reminds me of how I felt when I was where you are now, and it is good for me to remember that. You and all the other newbies are doing so, so well. Just for taking those first steps. Keep going. One day at a time. Soon you'll see and feel the benefits, then you'll feel stronger.

Take care everyone - amazing, supportive thread. MN at its best.
Soph

My latest favourite heat busting AF drink.
Semi frozen Becks Blue (like a Slushy) with loads of fresh lime squeezed in.
Just guzzled two.
Lush.

Oooh sophie I’m off to freeze some beck blue! And I actually have like! Sounds lush!
Oh trout nibbling my feet or other little fishes would be fine breathmiller. But eels slithering around my ankles? 🤢🤮 Your river sounds much nicer than my childhood one! It may have been the canal tbh!! Either way it was pretty rank.
cartooner I’ve also never heard of ‘grey rock’ either but I imagine it’s behaving like a grey rock. Boring, solid, immovable, not rising to the bait, that kind of attitude?

Like?? I meant I have ‘lime’ 🙄

Don't let them freeze solid @Stayingvigilant - the bottles will crack and burst! Just half frozen! Enjoy.
Trout nibbling feet - ew. No thanks. Years ago it was a thing here to have these foot treatments - like a foot spa place with little fish nibbling all the hard skin! Makes me squirm inside - but my friend used to go and have a treatment in her lunch hour. Said it was great. Daft mare

grey rock is a recognised technique often used to deal with manipulative people.
Here's a bit about it:
mywellbeing.com/for-therapists/grey-rock-technique

Nope. Screwed up. Day 1 tomorrow, again.
Guess at least I was aware of drinking. So the wine witch was at least being argued with.
Disappointed with me tho .
Well done everyone else that achieved a night af.💐