My 53 yr old husband has a long history of drinking, which he's managed for the last 10 or so years on an off. ie. occasional periods of abstinence, stopping drinking midweek, etc. There have been loads of relapses over the years when I've found an empty vodka bottle in the car/back of cupboard etc, (always met with fierce denial) and I realise it's quite possible that he's been drinking constantly behind my back, but I don't believe he has. It's caused huge problems, rows, lying, mistrust etc. Anyway, in the last 3 months, he has started drinking and concealing vodka daily. I always have half an eye out for his drinking (he stays up late at weekends and drinks when I go to bed) and I found a bottle of coke in the side pocket of his car. Tasted it and it was 50% vodka. So then I started looking, and to cut a long story short, he's been buying coke/bitter lemon daily, hides it under the bed, in the car, in the garage etc, and every evening goes upstairs 'to the loo' or 'to get something from the car' and drains it, alongside his public 3 or 4 pints of lager. On Boxing day, he drank publicly with everyone else, and also got through four bottles of vodka & bitter lemon that he was stashing in the garage. His mother was an alcoholic and died of liver cancer. I know about Al anon, I know that only he can change this, that he hasn't' reached rock bottom anywhere near (still running a successful business and masking his drinking v well). What I need advice on is when to raise it. Today seems like a good day before we both go back to work tomorrow, but I know I'll be met with - I'm giving up tomorrow, NY new start etc and I think he may well manage not to drink this midweek at least, and I feel I'll have missed my window, as he'll admit it and say he's stopped. On the other hand, I feel if I raise it and blow my cover, then I can't monitor his drinking any more and it will go even further underground, and he'll just carry on lying to me. Should I do it today? I've been putting it off over Christmas as couldn't face the bullshit denial. He's made me so many empty promises over the years, and want him to go to AA this time.