Day 1 after 8 years of it!

[doradream88]

Ok I need to stop drinking, obviously or I wouldn't be here. It's something that has spiralled over the years so please don't judge the amount I drink.

I drink two bottles of wine a night, say 3 times a week. I know that isn't everyday because I've always taken a day off in between drinking, which doesn't make it any better.

I've just built up a tolerance. I'm overweight, but my life isn't falling apart. I have great friends and family, hobbies, I just drink alone? My husband doesn't think I have a problem, because yes I get drunk but I don't get smashed and I'm not a terrible drunk.

The next day I feel tired but can take care of the kids and the house. Nobody would know I drink this much. I drink after 6pm and always wine.

I don't have any mental health problems, I'm not on medication, I wash and dress and I feel happy. I just seem addicted to the feeling of being drunk.
The longest I went without a drink was 4 months in 8 years.

I am just writing this all down so the world knows. I don't want to drink ever again. I can manage 4/5 days sometimes then I'll drink again.

I don't know why because there's no reason. Anyway I'm just saying I want to stop right now and hopefully I'll check back here next week and I'll have not drank for 1 week. Thanks for reading.

I'm with you. Day one for me too.

Tried so many times it's ridiculous. It's gotta hold of me and I want out.

Day 6 with me, and I can sympathise with you Op, I drink because of stress mostly, and need to unwind, I can drink just like you. One day off, one day on, I can fully function..
But you need to listen to yourself. I'm at the point where drinking isn't fun anymore... Once you turn this corner its very difficult to go back to guilt free drinking.
Before my day 6, I did 11 days quit. The day I had a bottle of wine, it was just because I wanted to unwind and spend some time with my partner. A product of habit.
I spent the next day feeling rubbish, it just wasn't worth it.

Try and hang on to your reasons why you don't want to drink.

I'm trying my best, and really want it to stick this time.

Just wanted to say good luck.
I am on day 199 (😱😱😱) and although I don’t pretend to have the perfect life now it is so so so so much better without alcohol. Hope it works out for you!

I am(was?) the same. I posted on here a week or so ago and it was clear I need to stop drinking. I can also easily drink two bottles of wine, not seem drunk and manage fine the next day, since lockdown I've been drinking 5/7 days. But I'm not an alcoholic in as far as I'm not physically addicted, but I obviously have a problem.
I also like feeling drunk, I like the immediate relief, I thought that the mornings after were fine, but actually since stopping I realise how tired and lazy it made me. Try and change your evening routine so you don't feel as tempted, remove all wine from the house, I only shop in the mornings now, too easy to pick a bottle up after work, I'm early days but can't believe how much better I am feeling already. Good luck

@BunniesBunniesBunnies congratulations, what made you stop? What's made you continue to stop (if you don't mind me asking)

Day 4 here. I hit my personal rock bottom Saturday night - don't want to go into it (yet) but I need to not drink alcohol anymore. It is doing me no good at all.

We can do this.

Well meaning friends have been tagging me in FB messages about Gin give aways and offers on Baileys.

It's wine that's my downfall. I can have the other stuff in the cupboard and I won't be tempted.

2nd night without tonight. Feeling optimistic.

I drink a bottle of wine every night too.
Every day I say I won't drink tonight, but I actually crave it so bad so I guess I do have a problem!
I really enjoy it, it makes me relax and feel so confident.
I've put on a stone in a year though and I feel like shit every morning.
I feel (stupidly) that I need it more now all this Covd stress is happening.
I'm not ready to quit yet, but I know I really should :(
Good luck OP, I envy your strength x

101 days sober here too. Drank 2/3 bottles of wine a night (but sure it's only wine and then as if that didnt make me pissed off my face tucked into cans. It creeps up op. We can justify ah its not every night etc, always an excuse, always the guilt, always. Also my DH was in denial. It all has come out since (worth it though to know I'll be alive for the next while anyway)

Anyway one day, one week at a time. It will change your life. Things obviously still suck but they suck without a hangover

Me too. Always wine. 1 bottle a night 4/5 nights a week. Always determined to stop. Always fail by 8 p.m.
I cut right back in 2016 to 1 bottle per week and managed that for nearly 3 years but it's crept up since then. I was on the Brave Babes thread under a different user name and that helped but the thread has all but stopped. My life is stupidly busy and I drink to relax - stupid I know but there it is.

Hi all, appreciate your honesty, I think there are more people than are willing to admit it that drink a bottle if wine or more without being 'drunk'
Books I know that feeling, although I didn't stop after my personal rock-bottom, I still try and blank it out.
Sneachta was your DH drinking too much as well?

Therainisback do you go out to the shop at 8?

Joder we all have a problem, this sort of drinking isn't healthy or normal. I'm not physically addicted, I don't feel cold turkey when I stop (I do get some anxious thoughts) it's a willpower issue for me.

scryingeyes agree, can ignore everything else but one sip of wine will always lead to at least a bottle.

Hiccupiscal agree that it's not fun anymore, crazy thing is when I'm trying not to buy it in the shop as I know it's not fun, but somehow put it in my basket, then open it at home even though I don't really want it. One glass in and I'm thinking about bottle no 2. What are you doing to manage your stress?

@Ecdysis no DH is an occasional drinker. He has no problems only having 1 and that' s that. He has stopped completely to support me.

It was a real struggle for about 25 days, but then gradually I rarely rarely think about it. It is SUCH a relief not to have that "can I open it now' I will just have 2, no I'll have another, sure what's the harm its open now! Looking at the clock constantly waiting for 6PM. Nipping out in all sorts of conditions to local shops to get more. Looking forward to friday so I could have even more sure its Friday excuse.

Re managing stress. Once off it a while stress is such less but you have to just manage it the first month and be strong and know you will feel better. I changed up my routine. So at trigger time I found my drink. Tonic water as it's not too sweet. So 6PM glass poured. Made sure to eat nice dinners I liked at an earlier time to make me full. This stopped the cravings for a while. Having a nice bit of chocolate or something you fancy with a cup of tea at 8.30ish (again to stop cravings) . Knowing that you are going to feel so much better the next morning, looking forward to the time alcohol is out of your system and your sleep will be so much better. Plenty of walking or exercise that you like as much as you can (difficult with 4 kids) I got up and did yoga early for a month. Taking it one day at a time. Thinking it's not forever and saying at halloween I'll have 1 for instance (but I know I wont/cant. Reading any alcohol book you can for the first while. Everyone has their own favourite, always have it near you. If you get thoughts, go back to your book, I made notes to inspire me. That sort of shite.

I'm 101 days BUT I'm not becoming complacent. I constantly am checking in my thoughts and reminding myself how much better everything is and knowing I wont die from alcohol now

Yes I do go out it's like a switch in my head. All my good intentions & plans are overwhelmed by the "fuck it" switch. Some evenings I'm successful. Those are always days that have been less busy, less stressful.

Oh yeh my DH made our bedroom really nice. New beautiful duvet covers, loads of comfy pillows. I bought candles. Nice comfy pies. I retreated there (moved rooms) if things got tough with my tonic water, alcohol lit or even a good enjoyable book. I still do this the very odd time. I love the hopping into bed at night clean and sober. Make a quiet space somewhere for yourself

Pyjamas

Day 1 (again) for me. If I can make this work, so many other parts of my life are likely to fall into place. I know not drinking won't stop all the shit happening, but at least it won't be making it worse. I think my marriage is ending and I desperately need clarity to decide what to do about that. I've been in a horrible limbo for years.

I'm nearly 47 and I don't want it to be like this forever. Thanks for starting the thread op.

I have the overwhelming fuck it feeling too. I'll be watching Gogglebox and they will be sitting there sipping wine like nobody's business, eating cakes or crisps, not exactly slim and I'll be thinking- they're having wine, why can't I? Etc etc.

Trigger warning
I had a bit of a revelation yesterday while watching Gogglebox Celeb Stand Up to cancer

Damn posted too soon.

Ok, I have an inkling that I am of the belief that if I have 1:2 chance of getting cancer, I might as well have the wine, eat the cake, and enjoy life today. This dawned on me yesterday. I'm using might happen to me as an excuse to drink and eat too much.
That's warped isn't it.

@scryingeyes

Damn posted too soon.

Ok, I have an inkling that I am of the belief that if I have 1:2 chance of getting cancer, I might as well have the wine, eat the cake, and enjoy life today. This dawned on me yesterday. I'm using might happen to me as an excuse to drink and eat too much.
That's warped isn't it.

Not really. Ive used the excuse, my DP has, my mum has...

Its an easy way of thinking "going to die, one day, so enjoy it now"

Fact is: you don't know what you're going to die of, but one thing is certain, drinking if you have a problem, isn't doing your body any favours, and will actively shorten your lifespan.

I have also tried to train my brain to realise what alcohol actually is, a mild poision, thats why the next day your body gets a hangover. It has the very hard task of cleaning out the toxicity you've knowingly put into it. We feel poorly the next day, because we have poisoned our bodies.

Keep using the poison and overloading our bodies, and its bound to bring death on sooner...

As for cake... right now, I think we are all allowed a little bit of cake? Cake isn't poison and won't give you a hangover. I know which one is the better choice.

Try an Allen Carr course OP....it sounds like it would be right up your street from what you’ve described of your drinking habits. Good luck!

@scryingeyes

Damn posted too soon.

Ok, I have an inkling that I am of the belief that if I have 1:2 chance of getting cancer, I might as well have the wine, eat the cake, and enjoy life today. This dawned on me yesterday. I'm using might happen to me as an excuse to drink and eat too much.
That's warped isn't it.

I have this problem (it is refreshing to read that it's not just me) I read alcohol shortens your life, but that's only at the end, I'm not too fussed about living a long life, just want to enjoy it now. However, lately my alcohol consumption has meant I'm not longer enjoying now.

I also Therainisback get the fuck it feeling. I've been known to slip out the back door without dh knowing and then claiming it's the same bottle, this is clearly problem behaviour. I also have to put my emptys into next doors recycling so DH doesn't realise just how much I've been drinking.

I am really feeling the benefit of giving up.

That didn't last long. Shared one bottle of white with DH last night. Would have carried on but didn't have any more in.

That's another problem I have. I will post on threads like this and then start comparing myself to other posters - well I'm not that bad, yet.

That sounds bitchy and judgmental but I'm being honest. The amount others drink kinda justifies me carrying on. Serious slippery slope.

@Serengetiqueen

Try an Allen Carr course OP....it sounds like it would be right up your street from what you’ve described of your drinking habits. Good luck!

Totally this!!! Allen Carr Easyway really is easy. I recommend listening to it on headphones, it really goes in that way.

Sneachta
Did you have any problems with alcohol withdrawal symptoms, if you don't mind me asking?

@scryingeyes

That didn't last long. Shared one bottle of white with DH last night. Would have carried on but didn't have any more in.

That's another problem I have. I will post on threads like this and then start comparing myself to other posters - well I'm not that bad, yet.

That sounds bitchy and judgmental but I'm being honest. The amount others drink kinda justifies me carrying on. Serious slippery slope.

Hiya @scryingeyes (and other friends on this thread)

.....ive done the same as you...

8 days alcohol free, the Boris announces lockdown, I spiral and drink 2 bottles of red and 20 ciggies... I had just started at the gym, yoga, aquafit, started feeling happy again, looking after myself, going hairdressers, skincare regimes, just started living, now its all going to go again...
I just can't belive it, I had decorated for Halloween, we only had one family come on the walk past, it was all just so depressing and stressful.

I mean im still pleased with myself, as 2 bottles and 20 cigs is nothing compared to what I can drink -

Today is the 1st November.
I'm going to be sober for the whole month.

A new fresh start.

I'm just not sure now how to busy myself now we are going back into lockdown so I don't drink... but ive got to do it, somehow....