Stopping drinking for a while - part 2

[Patbutcherismyhero]

Hi all, a new thread as requested. Hope to see you all here shortly x

Hey @RandomGirl great to hear from you! Here is a little Sid love to ease you all into the weekend

@fluckityfluckfluck oh he is just so handsome! He’s growing up into a real beauty. Aww, remember when he was so tiny! 😍

Blowing a hoolie outside! Just sat down to watch our James Martin after the morning’s housework. Found myself wondering why he looks like naked. WTF is that all about...?!

Thanks for the welcome ! Am amazed at how strong you all are. Also at how much this thread is about life and hardly about booze at all. What did people do before our culture turned massively to booze? Remember my aunt having 1 glass of Sherry a year! Things still stressful here. We are both caning it. How do you stop that very persuasive voice in your head?

@Magicsprinkles I don’t know the answer if I’m honest, I definitely felt that, by having incredibly open and honest conversations on this thread, I was able to lose a lot of the shame I’d been carrying and was able to forgive myself for some of the decisions that I’d made and actions of carried whilst being a heavy drinker. It was so therapeutic to write things down on this thread without being judged. I think though, at the end of the day, I just wanted to stop being so reliant on drink. I’d literally had enough. I didn’t do it immediately and, when I eventually did, I didn’t make it to two months either. But just by talking about all of the reasons why I drank, and also talking about my history with drinking, and being honest about my mental health issues, which i’d never done before (and this was on this thread - I’ve never discussed it with anyone else), it just made something click in my head. But mostly, I just REALLY wanted to take a break from it. Which is why I search for a thread on it on MN. I was sick of being a slave to the drink xx

@Magicsprinkles There are past posts that talk about ‘the wine buzz’ which address your thoughts - they helped me a lot.

My husband drinking was a Massive trigger for me. It helped that he wanted to cut back as well x

@Magicsprinkles you should read the first thread also I really recommend reading some quit lit - it really made the difference for me this time

Morning all. Nice to see you back @RandomGirl. I did a disappearing act for a while too so don't feel bad! But the support and general chit chat here is so important, especially right now.
@fluckityfluckfluck Sid is so grown up now! I love your pjs too!
Dads operation is booked in for the next few weeks. I'm pleased they're moving fast but also terrified about it actually happening. It's a major operation and with the additional risk of him being in hospital with covid everywhere it just makes me feel so anxious. I have had yet another rubbish weekend health wise. I haven't even left the house and have eaten and drank way too much. Sunday is usually my recoup day and then I'll have a few AF days in the week. I always feel better for it but then reward myself with a drink midweek and it's downhill again until the next Sunday. Will I ever learn?

Be kind to yourself @Patbutcherismyhero, you're going through a super tough time atm, sometimes we just have to survive. When my brother was ill I drank so so so much to cope, it's not easy to moderate and do all the virtuous stuff when we are just getting by day by day and fighting constant fear and anxiety. Dont worry about all that atm, just be kind to yourself as much as you can. Wishing the best of luck for your dad's op, so glad they got him in so fast.

@Magicsprinkles, I think it helped that I'd just had enough; was tired of the guilts and the fear and feeling crappy. I found this thread and was just going to take a break, then got stuck into quit lit which made me question all sorts and then it kind of clicked and I was done... for me seeing others leading the way on here like @fluckityfluckfluck, made a massive difference as I wanted fo get to that point, so I took a leap of faith and went for it. I'd definitively do 30 days off as a reset, it just gives some breathing space and I'd highly recommend quit lit; I love Catherine Grey, Holly Whittaker and The Sober Diaries. After a break you can then work out how you will handle things; I've done sober jan etc and know my drinking creeps back up plus just cant moderate so for me that was it, others seem good at moderation. Best of luck!

Hi. Im still lurking but fed up with my drinking habits. Has anyone signed up to and paid for club soda?

Hello everyone. Do you mind if I join? I'll pop back with my story later if you'll have me 😂 I've lurking for the past 2 weeks and doing dry lockdown. @NeedAUserNameAllTaken your point about the breathing space of a 30 day break resonated with me 😀

@NeedAUserNameAllTaken

This:

ust had enough; was tired of the guilts and the fear and feeling crappy. I found this thread and was just going to take a break, then got stuck into quit lit which made me question all sorts and then it kind of clicked and I was done...

This is exactly what happened for me. And it broke my psychological attachment to alcohol.
I only had a two month break but it was enough for me to sort my head out. I only have a drink on a weekend now - if I want to - not out of habit. I do feel free of that padlock. But at the end of the say, it’s only because I’d had enough. Is that what people refer to as rock bottom, maybe not, but I was just sick of feeling ashamed of myself. X

I was the same, and I remember something I read really hitting home for me and it sounds so simple - it had stopped being fun. I was not having fun. I was anxious waiting to have one, I then was anxious I had more than one, then I slept crap and woke worrying about it, then I was tired and couldn't concentrate and repeat and repeat and repeat. There was no joy in that and I feel free now.

@Magicsprinkles I did the 30 days (on second attempt).
I then allowed myself one bottle of wine on either Friday or Saturday night. I successfully did that for about 4 weeks. This weekend I felt like I needed a break so I didn’t order any wine in the shop and I’ve had a dry weekend. I found it reasonably easy as I made the decision in advance.

I still have the craving to drink a lot, even though I feel more in control. I’m not sure that will ever disappear completely for me. I’m just taking it one day at a time and trying really hard to make good decisions. Food, drink, exercise. Better choices.

@SnoopyMcLoopy welcome to the thread!
@fluckityfluckfluck thanks for the Sid pic! Such a cutie.

@fluckityfluckfluck I forgot about the anxiety and sleep issues - that was also a massive driver for me. I’ve not had them since I stopped the vicious cycle x

Thanks everyone! I know I’m in trouble because I’m trying not to read this! I don’t need to! It’s all fine! ( errr.)

The "Soberful" podcast, by two very experienced psychotherapists is great, really deals with the underlying reasons for drinking.
Annie Grace " This Naked Mind" really worked for me. I listened to audiobook, it has a hypnotic effect, her voice is soothing and sincere, and what she says is incredibly smart.
I'll be 100 days on Saturday. I honestly believed I would never be able to stop, but it is now so much easier just not to drink than it was to deal with the constant acquisition, consumption, guilt and pain cycle. That wore me out completely, it was no kind of life. We're here for you @Magicsprinkles and @SnoopyMcLoopy

I'm going to get my haircut on Sat celebrate 100 days. First haircut of this Lock down year. Then I'm going to walk without children/baby for as long as I want! Ex-partner will have children and I will have some time to myself to think and walk. Can't wait.

Newly registered to ask if I can join here please? It’s such a helpful and inspiring thread. Thinking of you and your dad @Patbutcherismyhero . Congratulations @HotelRoomforOne for Saturday!

I had my last drink on Sunday 8th. I’d been cutting down a bit because of needing to lose weight, and on Monday decided to stay dry to the end of this lockdown. The last lockdown was awful for my health - I drank pretty much every day and although I pulled it back a bit over the summer I was still drinking on more days than not. I’ve felt so much better just over the last week. I was blaming everything ( weight gain, anxiety, puffiness, red skin) on the menopause but I think the reality is that post menopause, alcohol is definitely not my friend. My tolerance is so much lower than it was before I went on hrt. It seems stupid to compromise the new life that hrt and the hysterectomy gave me by blunting it with alcohol but I seem to have sleep-walked into it. I really want to turn that around and am starting small, but definitely starting. Thank you for such a helpful thread. The books and podcast recommendations have been invaluable over the last few days, especially that first dry weekend.

I got the all clear at the breast clinic this morning. Feeling exhausted and grateful. Welcome @Blackberryblossom

Great news @fluckityfluckfluck what a relief. And good for you for getting it checked out. It's great to be proactive with health stuff. I need to do same with cervical screening and stop putting it at the bottom of the list.

That's really good news @fluckityfluckfluck

Thanks for the welcome 😊 I've always been a drinker and the holy grail is for me to keep it to weekends which works sometimes but not always. Over the last few months I've been drinking a bottle of wine 4/5 time a week. I'm menopausal too @Blackberryblossom and couple of years ago I got the night sweats under control as I was exercising loads. I did well with exercise during lockdown from March to June then lost my mojo a bit. The beautiful weather meant I spend loads of time in the garden and almost every evening was perfect for drinking.

Anyway I'm worried about my health, i wake up in the night thinking I'm going to die an early death if I carry on like this.

I'm now day 12 and finding it all very doable.

Sorry that was all a bit of a self indulgent ramble.....,

I just kept thinking of Claire Pooley getting breast cancer in her early recovery, and poor Sarah Harding and all she is going through. At the end of the day alcohol is really really bad for your health. Something that society really does its best to delude us in to thinking isn't really the case. I feel immense relief.

Thinking of you @HotelRoomforOne and @Patbutcherismyhero. @NeedAUserNameAllTaken your steady and relentless progress is rather amazing. Go you!

I started rereading the first thread in hospital waiting room yesterday, where Are you @BoxAndKnife ? Hope all is well x

@fluckityfluckfluck congrats on your good news! Xx

I am officially "separated" today, for government purposes.
It is so simple to go from almost 20 years in a de facto to separated, definitely a huge benefit to not being married. Simple and so.quick.
Feel empty, exhausted, worried about the children, although they seem mostly ok.
Haven't really processed any emotions as I'm so busy with them, and daily chores.
Sort of feel like my life is over.

Not drinking, although alcohol is everywhere I look now Christmas rears its head. I'm genuinely curious to see whether I have the strength to get through this with no mind altering substances of any kind. I feel like I'm in a vicious cage fight with myself.

Have a good day everyone, bed time here.
And don't worry @SnoopyMcLoopy, there's no such thing as a self indulgent ramble here, let it all out, that's what we're here for, we love it! X

Well done blackberry, and congrats fluckity. Check ups are rough. Thanks for the advice all, you are a very welcoming bgroup. Well, first night in ages I didn’t buy wine. Finished old bottle ( one glass) and it made me feel awful. Usually I’d have drunk through the feeling awful stage. What was I thinking?! So, not a great start,but a start. Building up to reading the quit lit you’ve suggested.
Hotel, congrats! You can do it 💐and I love your message to snoopy.

Thank you for the welcome.

Thinking of you, @HotelRoomforOne. Be gentle with yourself.

Glad you're ok @fluckityfluckfluck. Well done for getting checked.

@SnoopyMcLoopy, my hot flashes were never too bad but definitely worse after alcohol. I'm in day 9 today and sleeping much better. Did have a bit of a moment this evening wondering why I'm doing this, but reminded myself and calmed down. I really want this to stick because I'm not sure I can do it several times. Trying not to think about Christmas.