Stopping drinking for a while - part 2

[Patbutcherismyhero]

Hi all, a new thread as requested. Hope to see you all here shortly x

@fluckityfluckfluck 22 . Gosh. Well I guess she’s Miss ‘right now’. Are the DC young enough not to notice? You are doing incredibly well not to reach for the wine. Again gosh.

@Patbutcherismyhero 3am waking sucks. Glad you have a lazy day planned.

I’ve packed DH off to a soft play and I’m heading out for a long walk. Meeting a friend and having lunch out for the first time in months.

I’ve just realised I haven’t started my post with how many days AF. It wasn’t the first thing on my mind when I started writing. So that’s the first time in 21 days.

@Cherrybakewellll was there a trigger for having the wine? Just the habit itself was hard to break but I draw will power from organising early starts and planning activities at the weekend to stop me being able to get through the weekend hungover.

Welcome @AHintOfStyle and all the new joiners. This group is so supportive.

@Railingsohno yeah I’ve stopped asking now. Got fed up after asking one of them to have the kids so we could attend a wedding and they said they weren’t sure if they were busy that weekend or not... 6 months in advance. Came up with a story about how they might be having a friend to stay that weekend. But also might not. I needed a firm yes to rsvp.
That was the last time I asked.

I appreciate all the advice about how to deal with the school. I’m still mulling over next steps.

@HotelRoomforOne all ok? You’ve been quiet this week.

Kids are definitely old enough to realise, 12/10/8 but they are very resilient. They knew her anyway from being in XH's office.

I just find it creepy. He employed her when she was 18/19. Anyway - not my business I guess. I'm so glad I am free of him and just feel sorry for her but there's nothing I can do about that. He is very very clever at being charismatic and charming. The deeper issues won't show for a while, but it's far from healthy for her.

Hi all, I'd like to join in, I've had a really rough time of it lately and spent every evening for a long time downing a bottle of wine to take the stress away but I feel like crap every morning and I've had enough..I want to feel healthy and get some energy back so I'm glad I've come across this thread, I've already made plans for what I'm going to do this evening and it definitely doesn't involve alcohol. I'm going for 100 days AF, weekdays should be OK but I think weekends will be tough but I'm determined to do it!

Day 7.

When will I stop waking up feeling like I have a hangover?? 🙈

Sounds tough @fluckityfluckfluck but I can imagine that you will rise above it like the queen you are. Probably won't last it's just not pleasant thinking of your kids being involved with it all. Been there.

Am feeling more pissed off with myself as the day goes on and I'm just sat here achieving nothing and feeling wrung out. It's a lovely day and I'd planned to go for a walk but I just can't be arsed to do anything now and it's all because I drank and slept like shit.

So i think the reason I thought to was ok to drink was because I did a sneaky peak at the scales ahead of my official weigh in tomorrow and I've lost another 3lbs, meaning 6lbs in a fortnight. This also means I'm 4lbs away from my target weight. I basically had a moment of thinking well I've got the balance a bit more in check now, haven't drunk for 6 days, my eating is under control, I got back into my Pre pregnancy jeans and basically just thought fuck it.

That said, I had not even half a bottle and I felt completely pissed (not rat arsed just at the point where I felt I would be dizzy if I had any more) and went to bed. It appears even 6 days has a massive tolerance difference.

@cherrybakewellll is losing weight the only reason you have an issue with your alcohol intake?

@Patbutcherismyhero try and salvage something productive from the day, even if you have to force yourself. It's crap how much it takes from us isn't it - and yet we seem to think it's adds so much .... and thanks for your kind words. I'm getting there.

@fluckityfluckfluck It really is. I did so well with my healthy eating and gratitude stuff last week. Why am I still letting alcohol get in my way?

@fluckityfluckfluck what a prick your ex is! Yes very weird to have such a young girlfriend- says everything about him. Sorry you have this to deal with. I meant to say how gorgeous that photo of Sid was. He’s fab! Dogs are just the best 💗

@ErinBrockovich good luck. That’s shit you have no support. Sounds a lovely road for you. How’s your partner? Are you in the position to be able to pay for some help? We ended up having to do that and it least it comes with no (emotional) strings attached. Nursing homes all the way when they get old 😈

@Cherrybakewellll how do you feel about the drinking, putting aside the weight?

[quote Patbutcherismyhero]@fluckityfluckfluck It really is. I did so well with my healthy eating and gratitude stuff last week. Why am I still letting alcohol get in my way? [/quote]
Because moderating is harder than giving up.

@ErinBrockovich sorry that should have read lonely rather than lovely!!!!

@Patbutcherismyhero @Cherrybakewellll don’t be so hard on yourselves, moderating is fucking hard. Do something nice today and salvage as much as you can. Tomorrow is a new day

Just had a chance to catch up on the thread - @fluckityfluckfluck what does the new gf see in your ex? It is £? The age difference will be an issue somewhere along the line. I am a firm believer in karma so sit back and enjoy the show when it happens

I'll be honest, weight is my main motivator for not drinking. Obviously I don't want to be waking up with a groggy head every day though so that's the other issue.

I can honestly say I've been fine with no drinking Monday to Friday, it's been nice to have a clear head, know I'm not fucking up blood sugar levels and being tempted to eat more than I should. I knew Saturday would be hard and I caved. I feel guilty but I don't at the same time

@ErinBrockovich , That sounds very hard , I hope you can get a meeting with the school and sort things out for both of your sakes. Can you get any help at home , as in a child minder / nanny even if it is just for a couple of hours once or twice a month so you can go out and have a breather from it all .

@AHintOfStyle
Welcome to the gang , Have you managed to stay AF over the weekend ?
@Cherrybakewellll
Sorry you were feeling rough , I hope it has past now . It was just a slip up you will be fine next week

@fluckityfluckfluck ,
That cant of been nice to find out but as you say there is nothing you can do about it so just let them get on with it , but be sure to keep him at arms length when it all goes tits up

@Patbutcherismyhero
I have had a wasted day too , I was going to go for a walk and get some cleaning done but I had some work research to do this morning which took much longer than I thought it would , then the usual cooking for the week . After that I just could not be arsed to go out .

I am jealous of all of you that are losing weight , I have put it on ! but that is probably down to the fact that the AF beer I am drinking 115 cals per bottle ( I have only just realised this too ) I need low cal + AF + tasty beer , I am asking for to much am I not

On wards and upwards everyone I hope you all have a good monday

@AlCalavicci

Yes I have! Just watching Soccer Aid and then going to bed. End of Day7.

Tomorrow I am sorting my diet and exercise out.

Hi all,

Sending a huge hug @ErinBrockovich, I'm sorry it's so hard. We get very little support too so I feel your pain. I'm sorry school messed up, I'd definitely have a meeting with the teacher and if they dont seem to get it then the head or senco- saying this as a teacher. I hope they get it together better for you and so sorry you have this worry. Huge hug.

@fluckityfluckfluck crikey re your ex! You're definitely better off with a sid! He's gorgeous!

Welcome newbies! I'm sorry I'm absolutely bushed after a manic weekend, so cant remember all names to tag but great to have you, the more the merrier!

Hugs @Patbutcherismyhero, I genuinely never managed to moderate. I just dont have the will power, you're doing amazingly. Be kind to yourself.

@Cherrybakewellll, you're doing ace! 6 days is a result.

Sorry if I've missed anyone. Wishing you all a good week ahead.

@AHintOfStyle Well done !

Hi all, well I'm now on day 23 AF but appear to have replaced wine with donuts 🤦🏻‍♀️ also am really struggling with my sinuses so feel like I have permanent hangover 🤬
DD started school last week and has been trying to say the least, but not once have I felt I needed a drink to cope. In fact it's a relief not to think about alcohol although my mind is now drifting to other aspects of my life which I'm not entirely happy with, so that's a new thing to work on!
I originally planned this as AF till 40( my birthday is end of sep) but am now thinking I might make this more permanent. I just don't want to slip into awful habits again.
Well done to everyone and keep on keeping on.

Day 22 AF. Put on two pounds and have no one to blame but myself and the Indian takeaway.... bit annoying but not the end of the world all things considered.
It’s a new week and I have 8 days left to turn the weight situation around and hit my 30 day target. Kids are back in school and I have no excuses! Time to do this!!!

Hi all. Hope you're all well. AF night for me. Just wondering how you guys keep occupied? Usually dp and I will chill with a drink and a film or series. When I'm trying to be AF I get restless and bored. I read and spend ages looking at my phone because I'm usually too knackered by the time dc are in bed to do much else. But nevertheless it's boring, especially after a day stuck wfh. And boredom plays a big part in my drinking. So I need some suggestions to keep myself occupied...

Evening all. I was on another thread but it has gone a bit quiet & an old friend @AlCalavicci invited me to join you so here I am.

Things have gone a bit pear shaped for me after the lockdown and after my holidays I have decided its time to rein myself in a bit. Interestingly I read an article in the Guardian today about people who have given up as a result of lockdown.

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/sep/06/i-was-hammered-for-the-first-month-of-lockdown-meet-the-people-who-have-quit-alcohol-during-the-pandemic

Starting after being away for a couple of weeks has helped. Also the fact that DH is on a diet and not drinking has also helped. Not sure how long I can keep it up. I do miss wine and would love to just drink one day a week but past experience has told me that this doesn't really work and I just end up feeling a bit miserable and drinking more.

The problem is of course that it is a slippery slope and all to easy to find myself in the negative spiral of drink/ feel guilty/ think sod it/ feel worse/ have another drink to help me stop thinking about it an infinitum.

Hi @Patbutcherismyhero, I used to feel the same when I first went AF, I found it passes, if that helps but for now, I took long walks to break up the day as a glass of wine used to signal my end of day. I also read different books than usual so lots of quit lit, autobiographies and thrillers, to give me more to get stuck into. I also had a lot more hot baths too. I realised some things I did just because I was drinking and didnt enjoy them really so stopped. It took a while but it definitely did pass. I think also the way alcohol affects the brain may contribute to this feeling, so perhaps the longer you go the easier it gets? I think prob because of the depressant affect booze has. lots of people seem to take up new hobbies too, certainly I had more time at first which I used to clean stopped that now though!

Welcome @Cherrymix! I can so relate, that's exactly how I felt joining this group. A fair few of us on here started with a 30 day challenge then some extended to 100 as a kind of reset. I did the same but, as with many, along the way decided that I was happy to say that's it for booze - for me this has brought a peace that I couldn't find with moderation, for others moderation seems to be working. (Its definitely too much stress for me.) I'd definitely suggest a 30 days reset and perhaps a browse through old threads- these were so helpful I'll try tag you- and see how you feel. There's lots of great quit lit out there too which has helped and inspired many of us along the way; I started with The Sober Diaries, Alcohol Explained and The Naked Mind. All made a huge difference to my mindset towards alcohol.
Best of luck, we are all here to support you along the way x

@ErinBrockovich, I've been meaning to reply for ages and forgot, sorry. Re your feelings of forever, I've had moments of this too, now I generally feel this is the way for me but at first forever didnt work and I have the odd twinge now and then but generally it passes. I read a few quit lit authors who said they'd do 100 days and if they hated it still then then they'd give up, one did 100 days, then decided to keep on and call it after a year - by the end of the year she was all in. Some people keep it open a bit more, the idea of forever can be a bit too much but maybe a period of time is easier? Hope that helps. I'm now 56 days in and feel increasingly happy with my choice but I also just tend to let each day tick by and not get too hung up on it all. Also, a lot of quit lit reframed AF for me, so I dont feel I've given anything up, I've been given a gift, if that makes sense? Katherine Grey and Holly Whittaker are great for that. Hope this helps x