Stopping drinking for a while - part 2

[Patbutcherismyhero]

Hi all, a new thread as requested. Hope to see you all here shortly x

Morning all, lovely reading all the updates coming through. Everyone is doing so well!
Day 19AF. Friday and Saturday nights are so tough for me. Last night I craved a drink after nearly 3 weeks, so that’s annoying. Not sure when that’ll pass.
Another rush this morning getting the kids up and out. Had a bit of an incident on the first day back at school yesterday and not sure how to handle it. My DC are safe but could have been a different story. Will post properly later.
Hope everyone has a good one.

Morning all. Sorry been a busy few days I haven't been online much. Have had a couple of drinks the past few nights but nothing excessive. My problem is that I tend to do sun, mon, tues AF with no problem but by Wednesday I'm sort of fancying a drink and from then I'm likely to drink every night til Sunday again. It's like once I start it's a downward slope for the rest of the week, I can't seem to have a drink Wednesday then stop til Saturday again. Odd. But my healthy eating has been going well and I'm getting out walking a bit more now with the school run back.

I've had chronic headaches this week. Possible stress/tension related.

@cherrybakewellll your friend sounds like a 'frenemy' - doesn't want to see you make positive changes while she's still struggling.

@fluckityfluckfluck our dogs settled much better after they were able to start going outdoors for walks, it really tires them out.

@AlCalavicci I'm glad you found us again :) x

@Patbutcherismyhero I know I've said it before but you sound similar to me in the drinking habits. We used to struggle to be AF at all, then once we cracked Monday no drinking we struggled not to think 'sod it I'll have some' on a Tuesday and then carry on right round to the following week. I found that just trying to push through AF until Thursday helped the past few weeks. As I say, this is the first AF Friday since January (I was obvs AF before that for 9 months due to pregnancy).

I can honestly say alcohol right now isn't on my agenda for September at all. I lost 3lb at weigh in on Monday so I'm hoping for even 1lb loss this week so that I can tell myself that's due to lack of alcohol.

@fluckityfluckfluck I want a sid in my life! I've got an 11 year old pug, he's been my absolute rock through my adult life (he's seen me married, 2 kids, divorced, remarried and another kid haha). We are going on a 3 mile walk this morning but he's really bad on his back legs these days so I'll probably end up carrying him (and the baby) the last mile haha.

@notinthestarsigns please don't think I'm being a twat or being too emotional stirring when I say any of this. I really hope you are able to find some answers and have a healthy pregnancy in future. Unfortunately I know a couple of people in RL who have been in similar situations to you, couldn't wish it on your worst enemy. I have had numerous miscarriages myself and it's horrendous, I can't even begin to imagine what you've been through. Obviously nothing can replace your first born and you'd never want to but I hope if you want to build your family you are able. Again please don't think I'm being condescending or anything.

@cherrybakewellll yeah it sounds like we have similar habits. You are doing so well with both the weight loss and the cutting back. I am going to try and push through til Thursday next week. I really don't mind having a few drinks at the weekend but I need to knock weekday drinking on the head. Have definitely made progress, albeit very slow!!

For me there are other issues. Been struggling a lot with my mental health, and I'm very unhappy at work too. My general motivation, mood and self confidence has plummeted during lockdown. But I'm trying to take baby steps to making improvements. I won't manage a sober September but I can definitely keep cutting back. Keep up the good work everyone.

Hi all - all good here, just on holiday in Cornwall and struggling to get 4g! Will post properly when back next week!

@Patbutcherismyhero exactly, every step forward is a positive and we all have different goals. I would love to think I could be someone who only has a couple of glasses on a Saturday and that's it but I know I'm just not wired that way. Never have been.

Tomorrow night will be a test of willpower as kids usually watch films in their rooms while DH and I have dinner and drinks in the evening. It'll be a Diet Coke instead this week 😬

It's Friday night and I'm in bed and sober. This hasn't happened, with the exception of pregnancies, since circa 2004

Morning all - I hope you feel great this morning @cherrybakewellll

Happy weekend everyone. Day 80 here. It's become so normal not to drink I've stopped adding the heart emoji to my calendar ages ago and didn't notice....I was adding to keep track of the af days

Here's a little Sid pic from his first walk out on the lead yesterday evening, although not much actually walking was done to be fair

@fluckityfluckfluck he's so handsome!

I was awake at 7am sharp, I feel a bit hyper now

Day 20AF. I’m struggling. Not so much with not drinking because I feel like I’ve taken it off the table.
My eldest DC has a medical condition and despite all the steps I put in place with the school in the lead up to returning they still fucked up the first day back.
I’m trying really hard not to be ‘fuming’ etc but I trusted them with my child’s life and they don’t seem to understand the seriousness of the condition. Yesterday morning I received a grovelling apology but both me and DC are feeling anxious, upset etc. It just makes me feel alone because I feel solely responsible for their safety even when at school.
I guess lockdown gave us a bubble of protection and whilst it was unbearable in many ways, at least I had full control over the condition.
Now I am back to relying on strangers who honestly are massively overworked, stressed out by the new Covid measures and mistakes get made.

I’ve been over eating as some sort of crutch, which I hate because it makes me feel like shit. No swimming and can’t muster the enthusiasm to do any sort of exercise at home.
My younger DC also has a medical condition and whilst it’s not life threatening, they need treatment twice a day (have done since birth and probably will do for the foreseeable). I’m exhausted and to be honest a bit resentful when I see all these healthy kids and parents without a care in the world. I get no support from my family or DH’s and I guess I saw the return to school as the light at the end of the tunnel.
Well it clearly was never going to be that but I built it up in my mind as a coping mechanism and now that’s been taken away too.

Gosh sorry for all the doom and gloom. I guess normally I’d drink to medicate the reality of this and now I don’t have that I’m actually having to face my feelings and the feelings of being alone are so strong right now. And the feelings that I have to fight to get through every day and it’s never going to get ‘easier’.

It’s nice to read all the positive updates.

@Cherrybakewellll well done for having your first AF Friday! Hope you have a productive day.
@fluckityfluckfluck thanks for the picture of Sid, that’s cheered me up. Hope you have some good walks this weekend.
@Patbutcherismyhero sounds like small steps would work well for you earthier then bit ‘dry for the whole of September’ type goals, more like ‘I’m not going to drink on Wednesday this week’ sort of steps.

I might take a look at SW. I’m dreading getting on the scales Monday, no chance of losing that pound now!

*rather

What a beaut Sid is! @fluckityfluckfluck

Day 18 AF here for the first time in my adult memory. Generally manageable with the odd evening of temptation. Thinking I should have bought shares in Becks Blue for the amount I’m putting away !

Just wanted to share how much my relationship with my daughter has improved a lot since going AF, which was a main motivator to stop drinking. We now spend evenings talking more and watching dire tween crap, a real test of strength to resist sticking pins in my eyes!! Really pleased though.

Each day at a time is the only way for me, too long a stretch feels unmanageable. Sounds like everyone generally heading in the right direction. Well done guys!

Hi everyone! 👋 Mind if I join you all?

I recently did 2 years sober and loved my alcohol free life. Then Covid came along and I randomly decided to have a little wine to take the edge off my anxiety about it all. Stupid decision as I've been drinking on and off since 🙄

I want my beautiful fresh and healthy life back. My IBS and reflux is back and it's frankly ridiculous that I've let a weekend bottle of wine become normal again.

I know what I need to do, I've cracked it before, just seem to be struggling to commit. Perhaps being accountable on here might help.

@fluckityfluckfluck
He is so cute , Did you know that some calendar companies will accept photos to use on their products, it seems that themed ones go down well , ie sat in a pile of leaves for autumn months, playing in pools / rivers for spring . they must get millions of photos sent but if you want Sid to have his month 15 mins of fame.

@ErinBrockovich
It sounds like you are having a really tough time , I hope that it was just a one off at school and your DC settles in and is safe .
Is there anyone IRL that can help even if it is not family ?
I know that the temptation to have a drink must be very strong but remember it wont solve things ( sorry if that sound patronising / cheesy ) you have been doing so well , please dont let things start to slip .

@AnImperfectParent
Welcome to the thread , Well done for staying dry for two years , can I ask what was your motivation for giving up the drink then ( ob you dont need to tell us if you would rather not )
Covid has pushed a lot of us to drink / drink more than we would do normally so you are def not alone .

@AlCalavicci I'd done various dry Januarys and longer stints and enjoyed not drinking. I'm quite an anxious person and always fret about health impacts of drinking! The alcohol-free version of me is so much more relaxed and measured! I decided I wanted to do a whole year and after that I simply had no interest in drinking at all- told myself I could drink if I wanted but genuinely never wanted to... well, until Covid 🙄

Welcome @AnImperfectParent, this is a great group whether you want to stop short term (I’m doing 30 days) or take a longer break. As you can see we talk about all sorts not just staying AF.

@AlCalavicci I feel like I’ve lost trust in the school. I think I was lucky last year as the teacher was really good and overly cautious. I didn’t get a great handover because of Covid and it feels like the reassurances I’m getting are lip service.
I literally have no support, hence why I was pinning my hopes on the schools going back. I started my own business before lockdown and had to close it after 4 months once it became clear I couldn’t keep it going. So I’m back to being a full time SAHM. The irony is I have 3 siblings all close in age. Between the three of them and my parents they’ve had my DC 2 times in 6 years. My PiL took my eldest when I went into labour with number 2. That’s the one and only time they’ve ‘helped out’. Their illnesses aren’t even physically demanding so it’s not like it’s a huge ask.

Ordinarily school and nursery would keep me going for a break and they both start back properly on Monday so then I’ll get 3 hours a day to myself. I fully intend to spend some time in the pool, get round to finishing my list of jobs, clearing out my wardrobe of all the things that haven’t fitted properly in years and I have to spend some time getting my house back. It constantly looks like a bomb has hit it.

Hey, anyone mind if I join in?

Am on Day6 AF, have managed OK but it's Saturday night IYKWIM 🙈
Have none in the house though so that's something.

I'd like to get back to how I was about a year ago: alcohol on a Friday OR a Saturday only.

Health is suffering, weight is awful.

Going to weigh myself on Monday and get back on the treadmill.

I've had some red wine and I feel SHITE

@Cherrybakewellll pour it away and chalk it up to experience. Onwards and upwards 💗

@ErinBrockovich that sounds so stressful. Can you ask for a meeting with the school? You need to be able to trust them.

With regards to support - have you asked (sorry if you have!) In my family it’s the ones who make a fuss that get the support where’s the “copers ” get left to it (yes I am bitter )

Sorry if that’s annoying. 💗 But feel free to vent here. I can understand using the windMe to numb but it’s great you recognise that and can avoid it. I hope that you can get some support somehow . It sounds draining

And welcome to @AHintOfStyle and @AnImperfectParent lovely that you’re here. 💗

Hi to @AlCalavicci how’s it going?

Wine not windMe - haha 😂

Morning all. @Cherrybakewellard write yourself a big note that the wine made you feel shite and stuck it wherever you keep the wine

@ErinBrockovich my heart goes out to you. If it's any consolation at all the fact that they've messed up should mean that they are 100% on it now. Not that that makes it okay but hopefully will reassure you - make an apt to have a phone meeting.

@ErinBrockovich how stressful for you. It's been hard enough sending the kids back anyway given the situation but to have them mess up something like that must be really unsettling for you. Let's hope they up their game now.

@cherrybakewellll I also had wine last night. Didn't feel shite at the time but it did at 3am when I woke up with the fear and couldn't get back to sleep again. That hasn't happened for a while and I didn't even have that much. Maybe my body is becoming less tolerant. Thankfully have a lazy day on the cards. Might try for an AF weekend next week. I'm jealous of everyone waking up fresh for a productive Sunday.

Hate that 3am feeling @Patbutcherismyhero.

I've had a stressful week both at work and with xh introducing the kids to his 22 year old gf (he is 41) that works for him but while this would have been enough to send me to the bottle (s) I realise I would have gotten really upset if I had drank. And no doubt not carried myself well. Instead I've been able to speak to the kids without angst and realise that it doesn't actually upset me any more. Which is massive progress for me. I'm regaining the power both from alcohol and shit unworthy men