Forever Free - a life without booze, 2020 onwards.

[Drybird2020]

This thread is a supportive place for anyone who no longer wants alcohol to be part of their life.
This is the 4th thread in a series. I started the first 30th December last year and have been sober ever since. I couldn't have done it without the tremendous support other posters have given me.
Previous threads are linked below and are useful reading for anyone starting out, as they are full of useful advice, suggestions for reading, and strategies for managing the tricky times. Plus you will see how similarly alcohol affects so many of us, and track the journeys of people who are successfully making the change and embraced a new and rewarding life.

Thread 1
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3781133-Anyone-else-stopping-completely-in-2020

Thread 2
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3810419-Still-stopped-in-2020-a-thread-for-anyone-abstaining-from-alcohol

Thread 3 www.mumsnet.com/Talk/alcohol_support/3910349-Staying-Stopped-Alcohol-Free-permanently

The only rules are that you are committing to an alcohol free life, and that you have stopped drinking before you begin to post.

If anyone would like to use the new thread to (re)introduce themselves and give a wee summary of where they are at, please do!

Lord knows what @Hangingover is up to by now... Accidentally ingesting ayahuasca at a circus skills workshop in the Australian outback is my best guess 😉

I'll have you know I had a very civilized evening with my flying trapeze friends and their DDogs. I know it sounds like I'm making this shit up.

Since you ask the latest ridiculous thing is yesterday we were at the beach (DP and trapezeman in waves the size of houses - senselessly dangerous IMO) and I was strategically avoiding vanman who I think wanted me to come and get passively stoned with him again, by pretending to have a little nap when who should appear at the beach? Twin brother of a guy I had a two night stand few dates with years ago in London, before I met DP. Here. In Australia. The odds on that have to be very, very long indeed. I knew there was a chance of bumping into him or twin as a) they are Australian and b) by total coincidence, they are very good at the same water sports DP is very good at and apparently they all just magically know or know of eachother without even needing to meet via the internet. It's all very exhausting and confusing. Anyway, trapezeman and DP are going back to the house waves today and I'm going to the gym in case I see him and spontaneously shout "Hello I shagged your brother".

Also I'm listening to Unexpected Joy. Dear god it's cringingly relatable. So glad I do t have to drink any more.

Day 15 for me 🙂I can't believe how well I feel and how good my sleep is! Really enjoying this naked mind,feel it's really changing my mindset around alcohol.

@Hangingover! Please can you write a book??!! Your adventures are brilliant to read!

Day 34 here, getting used to this new life. Been inspired by you guys to get on my mat a bit more offen this week. Thanks all!

Day 15 for me too. Hanging your adventures do add some interest to the thread, you sound likr you are having fun.
I am listening to Craig Beck and he is talking about the advertisement and social side to alcohol. He was asking how many times do you here this? 'Friday night cheeky glass of wine, be rude not too' now imagine if someone said 'Friday night cheeky hit of heroin be rude not too' Craig is trying to get people to see the true dangers of alcohol yet it's touted like something we all need, he also says if someone brought a product so dangerous as alcohol to the market today it would never get through the safety checks.
I like how Craig talks about willpower being useless against alcohol and it is about changing your message mindset, highly recommend his book.

I got the circus skills right! ✅

I go off on hols and miss pages and pages😱 welcome @wineandtoastfortea and congrats to @Breathmiller, the days are mounting up 👍 @Hangingover, only you would find your ex-shag’s twin on a beach in Oz - it makes Point Break sound rather humdrum... lol @SparklingLime, circus skills were spot on😎 You lot are nuts 😀

I’m past 6 weeks - yay! And OH (who is drinking wine on hols but less than normal) has said he is glad I am AF because it makes him cut down without having to do any of the heavy lifting himself 👀 but he is supportive in principle, and so far no real temptations to drink even though we are staying in a pub - luckily it has good AF lager 😀

Just adding to say @noel66, the sleep is fab isn’t it? Brilliant on your days, and @Rupertpenrysmistress. I loved TNM as well, it was a game changer for me 👍

Lol hanging over. Your stories are great

Congrats everyone else. It's a fabulous feeling

I love Craig Beck's book, it's the most relatable so far. Naked Mind next if I can put my usual shite mind numbing escapism books down :)

Monday never feels tortourous as NO ONE ever drinks on a Monday

Can't believe how refreshed I feel Raven. Amazing

I hope you are keeping a note of all your adventures and escapades @Hangingover. I'm sure you could your own column in the Sunday Time Culture section .

I pushed myself a wee bit further with yoga/running and cleaning up my bedtime routine and bagged another 8 hours. It makes such a difference to my day and wellbeing and I wonder how often I sabotaged it with sacrificing half an hour of feeling elated through alcohol with hours of missed sleep and the consequences of that. Nevermind.

Loving all the updates, @Hangingover, it's a brilliant and unexpected bonus that this thread often makes me laugh!

Im another "stretch - while - the- kettle - boils" yogi, I'm glad @Breathmiller approves of the approach!

I wrote a massive long post which disappeared but the gist was, hello to everyone, pats on the back all round, life is full on here and I'm glad to be sober.

I'm glad to be of service. Perhaps you'll get a laugh out of my utter idiocy misfortune today.

Optimistically bought a four week (!) workout plan this morning; first day hideous agonising sweat-fest necessitating laundry....simultaneously hoovering, making porridge and stuffing laundry (colours) into the machine, made two oversights: not only was the machine was still set to 90 feckin degrees due to previous empty cycle designed to purge machine of non-specific small animal smell, I only came to this discovery two thirds of the way into the wash cycle and also saw my bloody airpods , my ludicrously expensive tiny conveyors of so many deliciously crap novels, sadly clinking around the machine window - I could practically here them yelling "help us!" each time they jiggled around. I'm HEARTBROKEN. Feels like I've drowned my firstborn. I've lovingly dried them and popped them up on their own chair directly under the heater in the hope of coaxing them back to life.

Tonight's sober challenge involves the regular Tuesday trip to the local bogen bar to enter the weekly competition to win a cash prize. Jackpot is nearly $10,000 so I'd frankly swim through vodka to be in with a chance of winning at this stage.

@Cyllie33 where are ya?? It's day 80 for us fist bump

Also can we agree addicts of all kinds should consider avoiding Facebook memories an act of essential self care? Just saw my status from 6 years ago "need to make some changes". No shit past-Hangingover, you just got blackout drunk with someone you just met and ended up with two black eyes and had to call off work sick for four days so no one saw.

Ooooowwhhh, @Hangingover (can’t quite get down the sympathetic/protective sound that came out of me reading that). Makes your 🎉 80 days AF 🎉 even more precious and impressive 👍🏼 x x

Good to see you, @SparklingLime!

I missed your 4 month milestone, @BunniesBunniesBunnies. Well done you...amazing. I have now passed 4 months too (week behind you) and this is the furthest I've been. But it feels different this time because I'm not using will power at all anymore. I just like not drinking. How are you doing with the cigs? I'm back on day 3...gonna do it this time.

@iamyourequal, thanks for sharing your story. I'm glad you came back.

@Ulysses, well done on getting through your crappy week AF. Enjoy your discount code (surely a sign from the Gods that you must treat yourself!)

Thanks for the yoga tips @Breathmiller. Can't wait until my class is back on. It just doesn't feel the same at home.

Looking forward to reading your book @Hangingover . Always look forward to seeing what you've been up to. Top marks to whoever guessed that the circus was involved. Hahaha!

Well done @noel66 and @Rupertpenrysmistress on reaching 17 days and to @Ravenswick on passing 6 weeks

Thank you teetotally

teetotally I can't wait to be back in person too. I miss teaching classes with actual humans and not on Zoom. Hopefully mid September up here in Scotland I can open my studio again.

I had a rubbish day yesterday , a couple of crap bits of news, work and personal and I thought in the past I would have caved. And it did cross my mind that a glass of wine would go down very well. But it was just a fleeting thought, more like a question and the natural answer was no. ( That is the yoga thought for the day for the yogis on the thread- thoughts and feelings are transient like clouds in the sky they pass and move on - we can just sit and observe them - we don't need to act on them ) It wouldn't have made my news any better and I just would have felt rubbish today.

Well done everyone on your milestones. I have decided to jump right in and stop counting days but count it in weeks. Saturday is my goal day to change.
I'm also trying to regulate my FB and mumsnet consumption so I have decided only to go on to both when I open my laptop ( I need FB for my work so can't get rid of it altogether) but get rid of them on my phone.

Thank you @Teetotallyimperfect - indeed it is!

Thanks for your wisdom @Breathmiller and well done for not caving. . I don't deal with bad news that well myself and I wish I could find a way of shrugging it off quickly (hence so much wine in the past for that quick fix) but I suppose that's life as well, there's always ups and downs that we need to weather out. My mood is certainly more upbeat this week and I feel I've managed to clear some headspace. I am also in Scotland and looking forward to get back to the gym and specifically swimming. It really helps me shut off from the outside world for a bit. Fingers crossed you'll get back to your studio too.

Well done everyone for whatever milestones you've reached. You've got this

This is an unexpected one, but I’m just realised that I’m considerably angrier since I stopped drinking. Before I had the outlet of drinking, now I’m just angry. I know I should be doing yoga or something but I can’t think of anything worse (I’ve tried yoga and Pilates multiple times, completed two 12-week meditation courses etc etc). Why can’t I be a sodding Annie Grace twinkly, pink-cloud kind of soberista?

Why can’t I be a sodding Annie Grace twinkly, pink-cloud kind of soberista

LOL me as well. I creid for an hour last week because a character in my book died.

I've never been/had the pink cloud either @SparklingLime. I wish I had a therapist at times to talk through my moods and get things off my chest. I get days when the kids, DH, my mum, work all wants a piece of me and I don't feel as I get back much in return and that can make feel low. Have you every had therapy/counselling?
@Hangingover did you know Marian Keyes is writing a sequel to Rachel's holiday which will fill in the 25 gap, apparently.

Hello all!

I only dip in and out as I try to ration my mumsnetting. You are all doing amazingly, and thank you for the honest stories of how alcohol came to be in your lives. Lots of resonance there. Am thinking about my story and will post it later maybe.

I am still bumbling along, dry for this year with the exception of my birthday champagne (totally not worth it) in June. I wanted to come back as I kind of want to reaffirm my commitment as I have a big challenge coming up soon - we’re off on holiday. I haven’t had a sober holiday since the early 80s 😬 I don’t see why I would drink really, but life can ambush you, can’t it, and I want to be prepared!

did you know Marian Keyes is writing a sequel to Rachel's holiday

No freakin way. I adore her. I'm relistening to grown ups now. Her voice is so adorable. She understands addiction SO well. I tweet her sometimes telling her how much I love a particular book and she always tweets back to say "thanks a MILLION".

Update... Birthday coming up. 32 has been pretty good. Quit drink and fags, went vegan and got really fit, travelled to Bali and Aus alone and quit my job (not in that order obvs). Possibly will get fake prosecco and cake from woolies and go to the national park with DP where the roos hop around you.

Got a terrific jellyfish sting today, got me in FOUR places! I was splashing around happily surfing when my hand suddenly was on fire, looked down and the sea was FULL of them so I did this really stupid hoppy skippy dance back to beach trying not to touch the water I was standing in.