Still stopped in 2020; a thread for anyone abstaining from alcohol.

[Drybird2020]

Dry January is over and the next phase has begun! Wherever you are on your sobriety journey, you're welcome here for encouragement, advice and support.

We love hearing from people who have been dry for a long time, so if you've swung by to have a look, please post to inspire us!

Equally, if you've woken up hungover, regretful and ashamed, determined that it's the last time, we've all been there and we're here for you now.

Lurky-lurkers, we know you're there! I observed the alcohol support threads for years before I felt ready to take the plunge, I hope these threads help others; if and when you feel ready to post, you'll get a warm welcome.

Might I respectfully ask that if your aim is moderation, you join the long running moderation thread in this topic. I find moderation chat difficult; it weakens my resolve, and many others feel the same.

I'm Drybird, 31 days sober. In that time I have saved 183 units, £192, and 12600 calories! I intend to be sober for the rest of my life, and I use this thread to keep me accountable.

It would be great to know how everyone is getting on, so if you'd like to check in below, please do! No need to share stats unless you want to, just give us a wave.

Here's tae us!

Teachesofpeaches well done, that’s a big achievement. I loved the Annie Grace book. Have you checked out the podcast? I’ve been listening in the car every day this week and it’s really interesting, different questioned answered and various experts come on to talk about alcohol.
I’m like you, I’m starting to feel quite cross about the whole alcohol thing. Such a lie and everyone is just in denial. I’ve got a few hen nights and weddings this year to get through sober so if anyone can offer me some tips and advice? I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t really worried about relapsing. There will be a lot of pressure on me from others to drink.

@Nickynackienoo, just tell them you're not drinking. Don't lie or make excuses. If they are uncomfortable with that, it's their problem.

I did the quiz, scored 18 based on my previous drinking habits, but now on Day 114, so a little embarrassed about how bad I was, but not concerned by it at all.

Have a good, sober, productive weekend everyone!

Six weeks AF. Very brief OhFuckIt moment tonight, but passed quickly. Next short term goal: end of Feb.

I'm enjoying Annie grace too, the latest in my back to back quit lit season! Podcasts for the commute are a good idea.

My dp the love of my life had a massive stroke yesterday. I will not drink. His drunk mates can leave me alone for a bit. I have no idea if he’ll survive. Or how much of him will survive.

We woke up early yesterday morning and I spent ages telling him how much I love him and all the ways I love him. We had 24 years apart and got back together 4 years ago. We are so in love. His drunk friend who I love very much just told me that my dp spoke fondly of me. Fondly! Ffs he loves me to my roots

Oh my god! I am so so sorry. I can’t even imagine. Sending love and strength. Hoping you have support and love around you xxx

I’m so sorry to read that, still

Sending strength @StillDumDeDumming - I hope you have some good people around you to support you during this terrible shock.

Thank you. I do have a good family and some good friends.

Amazing effort for not drinking. Keep posting here and we're all here for you.

Nicky - I keep wondering about future social situations..I think it does depend on the kind of audience you might have, and how open you want to be. Do you think you could be honest and say I'm realising it's hard for me to control the amount I drink, so I'm stopping for a bit? I'm hoping, for me, that people I say that to will react sympathetically and won't then put the pressure on.

I have also thought about just accepting one and then just nursing it for ages and not properly drinking it - i.e try let the subject slide under the table.. granted harder to do at things like hen do's - although it really does depend on the people I think. Actually when I think back to hen do's I've been on there's no way I would have noticed how quickly someone else was drinking... But I would have remembered if someone had categorically stated they were not drinking...

Oh sorry - just re-read your message. I think you are more worried about relapsing, rather than what to say, yes?

Hmm lemme think about tips and what might help!

@stilldumdedumming you must be reeling from the shock of what’s just happened. Stay strong.

@StillDumDeDumming, so sorry to hear that. You are being incredibly strong. Please make sure you look after yourself as well as your DP.

Sending you strength @StillDumDeDumming 💕

Also sending strength and thoughts to you, @StillDumDeDumming. What a traumatic event to go through.

@StillDumDeDumming I'm so sorry to read your shocking news. Your poor partner, and poor you. I admire your resolve not to drink, a clear head will surely be of use at such a challenging time. Let us know how you are when you get a chance. Lots of love.

@StillDumDeDumming I am so so sorry to hear that. You poor thing. I am so sorry for you. I presume he's in intensive care and you are shuttling back and forth from the hospital.

All strength to you. You can do this xxx

Hi guys, I'm off out for an early dinner with OH to a very nice restaurant with a cocktail bar. I am 95% certain he is going to propose tonight (if he doesn't I will look like a right tit 😂). I really don't know how I'm going to stay strong!!!!

@rosieposies that's wonderful! You will stay strong thinking of the wonderful future stretching out ahead of you, happily married to the man you love, and free of the guilt, fear and self loathing caused by your previous problem drinking. Plus I bet the upmarket cocktail bar does beautiful virgin mojitos or similar so you won't look out of place or feel awkward.
Have a great night, you'll be able to remember every moment.

Thankyou @Drybird2020

I failed quite spectacularly and I'm gutted. The beginning of the night was great though and the proposal was v sweet and importantly sober. We then got drunk as I saw it as an 'excuse' and it's made me remember that actually I also don't like my partner much after a drink.

Very jealous of everyone's hangover free Sunday's! Take it from me - it's not worth it, even when you're celebrating. I regret it deeply.

Day 1 again. Trying to remember though for 44 out of 46 days I've kept strong.

@StillDumDeDumming

I am so so sorry. You are being incredibly strong. Keep talking to us if you can - we're here for you xxxxxxx

Shit @rosieposies that is bittersweet. I hope you can gain some inner strength from your experience last night to get on to the correct path for you. Don't be jealous - just be determined for better, healthier living. New week so a fresh start.
Lots of self care and water today huh?

Thankyou @HowlsMovingBungalow at the moment I'm wallowing but will try and keep the self talk positive.

I thought maybe I could have a toast as a celebration but it's quite clear I can't moderate (I've known this for years but somehow thought it would be different as we'd been abstinent for so long) I'm glad I've 'found out' now rather than at my wedding.

This thread is a god send ♥️

You are allowed a self wallow!

Keep at it @rosieposies, you are gaining WAY more days sober than drunk and that is the main thing isn't it? It is progress even though you might not feel it today, it is progress and positive.

Another shitty weather day here so I'm declaring a day where I mainly don't move from the sofa unless it's to cook carbs. Shit TV and Sunday papers day for me.

Thinking of you all