High functioning and ready to cut down ? Anyone want to join me ?

[Tinkerbellx]

Hi
I'm not ready to go AF hence a separate thread ( yes I know I should do so sorry just being honest ) , but I'm in my late 40's, single parent and full time professional job .
2 at uni and 1 in 6th form and one still at primary . I'm juggling as many of us are .... the career/family/house / car . Along the way I'm now drinking a bottle of wine most nights . It's become a habit and I know it's making me ill .
I guess I leaned on alcohol throughout a long unhappy marriage / then the divorce and now it's become a habit .
The first thing mummy does when I get home is pour a glass of wine and then I feel myself start to unwind . Except I carry on .
My face is now feels puffy , my clothes are tight , my sleep quality is crap and so on .
I'm at a point in my life where I really need to take control as its my first opportunity in almost 27 years that I actually can .
I have an amazing partner now and we're planning on selling our homes imminently to move in together as a family . I want to have taken back control of this before then .
So I plan on not drinking during he week starting tomorrow .
I've stopped before and after the first night I remember actually enjoying it so I don't know why I'm so panicky ?
Does anyone else want to join me please ?

MyRagia that is really good. Have you been feeling the benefits yet?

bert that sounds awful, not surprised you drank wine! Hope your trip away gives you enough distance from it all that you can have a good time.

iam 125ml really does feel like a thimbleful of wine!

Alone sorry to hear about the separation. How are you doing?

Scattered any tips for the anger issues? How old is yr DC?

Northernsoul thanks for the book tip.

itsjeremy I deleted that app a while ago and now can’t load it for some reason. Will try again.

Well I haven’t posted as I drank like a fish on Tuesday &, after a very exhausting week, I can almost taste the cold wine already. I’ve been AF for a couple of months in the past but I just can’t seem to get a grip this time. Maybe I just need to accept that 4 AF days a week are all I can manage but that I’m going to blot out my stresses the other 3 nights.

Newmum alcohol is def calorific! Good luck with the diet.

Hi all 😊 can I join please ? I went my drink aware app and currently clocking up 35 units a week !! This shocked me quite a bit! And i am so miserable ! I'm a working mum In my 30s got more time on my hands now as children both full time! I rarely get hangovers and my skin is bad I'm fatter but I cannot seem to stop ! I know this is an addiction and trying to reason with myself that I have no other vice and I deserve it ! When in fact I'm petrified it's guna kill me
In the end! I want to cut down not give up ! I drink 6 out of 7 days a week n I'm ashamed 😔 xxx hope everyone is well so glad This thread is on here xx

Welcome newmumma and Shiloh221. Don’t be ashamed at your drinking. You are already making positive steps to reduce it like the rest of us. My App said I was drinking more than 90+% of the population my first week! . Itsall 4 nights AF is ace. I’ve only managed 3, but definitely cutting back the nights I drink. Having a mini beer now to see if it goes further than last nights 2 x thimbles of wine!

How's everyone doing xx

Hello

Please can I join? I had a weekend away with a friend that I was really looking forward to and then I ended up drinking way too much. I didn’t do anything stupid but I feel like the weekend would have been much better (and cheaper!) if I had been able to have more moderation. Daily drinking is also creeping up again. I’d like to have a go at moderation before I have to stop altogether. I’ve read some great tips on here. Have downloaded the drink aware app (again!).

Six months ago as part of a diet/fitness regime I drastically cut down (bottle of wine a day) by:

• Substituting with tea, coffee & non-alcoholic beer (you can get a surprising 'lift' from NA beer). Juices, water, elderflower, etc just don't do it for me.

• Not having stock of wine at home - I live alone so this is easy. If it's there I'd drink it.

• Have wine only when eating out, couple of glasses - once or twice a week.

I've lost over a stone and feel really so much better, physically and psychologically. I keep a few mini bottles (187mls) of wine for when I fancy one glass, and have a NA beer most nights. I'm not really a beer drinker but it has been so useful, 38 calories per small bottle and no alcohol. My son introduced me to the beer, he's a City-type and took control of his excesses in a similar way.

I used to groan when I'd read someone looking forward to their weekend treat of a glass of wine or two, but it's actually true I now appreciate the odd glass!

Good luck everyone - it can be done and life is still fun!

Ocsober is going well! No alcohol consumed.

I watched a film called Wild on Netflix, which I would recommend. It’s about a woman recovering from alcohol (and other) problems. It’s beautifully shot. She decides to walk the Pacific Coast trail to aid her recovery.

I’ve also read The Outrun by Amy Liptrot. About a woman who leaves London and returns to Orkney to recover, the descriptions of Orkney and her new found hobby of wild swimming are gorgeous.

The Naked Mind by Annie Grace has also been recommended. Anyone read it?

Morning all, welcome new starts! No better time than Monday morning for a fresh start. Definitely going to watch that film Mackerz I love Reece Witherspoon so that’s a bonus.

Westfacing your experience is very inspiring- managing to cut right back without having to give up is my goal too. It’s challenging though. I’ve managed to cut it right out 3 nights a week but my units are still too high over the other 4. I still think it’s partly bad habit so I might try the NA lager as I do love an ice cold beer!
Welcome Bigbus I know what you mean about going out with friends. I always think it’s a bad thing when the bill is all wine and hardly any food.

I have been reading some of the self help books but feel they are trying to brainwash me with misinformation. I don’t buy the idea that alcohol is poison/everyone who drinks has a problem or we are all addicted. A little voice tells me I just need to get a handle on moderation and be sensible, the way I have managed with food over the years (another story...lol).

Anyway let’s all have a super positive week. My aim is to have nothing Monday- Thursday and no more than one bottle of wine at the weekend. Let’s go!

I agree re some of the self help books. Most people drink in moderation so alcohol isn’t evil - I believe that it’s a bit like comfort eating, you drink to excess to mask other issues. No one would suggest giving up food completely though.

I’m doing Ocsober (and I’m going to extend it to the end of November, when Christmas season kicks in), to reset my relationship with alcohol. I’m hoping that I’ll reset my habits, so that the fallback option for a boring Tuesday is no longer drinking. I’ll be quite happy if I can cut down to just a few drinks over the weekend.

Hi all,
How was the weekend? After a crappy week last week I was pretty good at the weekend. Just a half cider on Saturday and one small glass of red with dinner last night. Definitely AF tonight as I'm too busy to drink, and I have some AF wine in the fridge for the next few nights to avoid drinking until the weekend.

Managed 2 days so far - not sleeping well. When will I feel better? I’m aiming to get to Thursday then I have a dinner out but won’t drink much as I have work the next day. Wednesday will be the test as I don’t work Thursday. I hope you’ve all had a good start to the week.

Hi all, back again. It's a fortnight since I last posted. Had a couple of not great weeks (from alcohol consumption pov!), but a bit more on the ball this week. Was away with work for one of the weeks, so a few drinks had (not masses though).

Was very complacent last week and drank most if not all evenings. Was premenstrual- definitely a pattern there as I wrote that right at the start of this thread. Will need to find an alternative PMS stress-buster - anyone got suggestions?

AF tonight. Yay!

Hope everyone is doing OK. I think that even when I'm not AF, I'm generally drinking less, and also I'm definitely getting more AF nights in than before (not hard cos there weren't any!). So it's still a win.

@Ringsender2 I've noticed I drink more when premenstrual too! I've managed 3 AF nights in a row now, and planning on sticking to AF tonight too. DH is home from a few weeks away tomorrow night so we'll definitely crack open a bottle then, and on Saturday it's a friend's birthday night out so that's definitely going to be a few drinks down the hatch!

@Itsallpetetong I've only just noticed your question about anger issues, sorry! It's my DS1 who is 9, nearly 10. He seems to be getting a bit better. Feel free to PM me if you want to know more x

I thought I’d join you all but it seems there’s been no one on here since mid October. Is there another similar thread I could join or will you all be back?

I'm in, I'd like to cut down from 4 nights a week to 2. Sunday nights will be the hardest. I've had a few Monday hangovers recently that haven't been good

Hi chenin - so you’re going to go AF Sun to Thursday & only drink Fri & Sat? Given I’m an every night (and lunch sometimes) I’m going to aim for Monday to Thursday. I was thinking of doing dry January but I think I’ll be setting myself up to fail unless DH does it too. Will you drink tonight?

I may have come too late to this party but if it keeps going I'd love to join please. Actually sick of feeling like I need wine and like pp just want to get to Friday and Saturday only instead of a bottle every single night.

I'm in too, wine was my way of unwinding it's become too much of a habit

How’s the 4 to 2 AF going @cheninblanc - doesn’t help with nye on a Wednesday!
Welcome @TipseyTorvey & @Fairydust20
I’ve drunk every day over Xmas and nye no exception but it wasn’t too bad!! My bottle a night habit prior to Xmas has to stop. I’m thinking dry January to kick start my moderate drinking as I think I need something radical to reset the habits. So yesterday was my first dry day. Pretty chuffed as DH quaffed red whilst I tried to trick my brain with a slimline tonic (rather than a G&T, which is my go to if not drinking wine)
Have you guys thought of substitutes?

I've just bought a bottle of seedlip for the first time so will try that tonight. Ironically I didn't buy it before because it was too expensive but I'd happily plough through a £8 bottle every night.

I’ve been drinking Twinnings ‘spicy ginger’ tea tonight. Of all things!! Love it! Tipsey what’s the seedlip like & which one did you get? I’ve heard mixed reviews. I also thought it was expensive previously but like you say happy to spend ££ on booze... but I know I like the latter.

Hi can I join?
I noticed my drinking crept up to every night, either a bottle of wine or 4 cans of lager.
I've decided to cut right down and last had a drink on New Year's Eve so I've had 2 AF nights so far which is good for me. I usually have a bottle on Fridays and Saturdays and usually sundays because I work weekends and see it as I've earned it. I'm up at 5 on a weekend and regularly feel tired and sluggish at work.
Tonight will be the test as it's Friday, not going to drink tonight and will look forward to not feeling shit on a morning.
Since New Year I've noticed I'm sleeping a lot better although I've had a headache on and off since then too.
Looking forward to spurring each other on

@Kimlek - so I tried the seedlip last night. It's the spice aromatic one, whilst it was nice and I did put it in a proper gin glass with ice to mimic the experience I didn't wow me. It's very clear to me that I drink for the fuzzy numbness now rather than the ritual so I need to find other strategies. I will probably use it to have in between wines to slow me down a bit. I had two glasses of wine last night, I'm on leave still so still 'on holiday' but trying to get back to what I consider my normal drinking pattern of three nights a week, not all 7 and only one or two on those days instead of a bottle. I suspect I may need to clear the house of wine to start with as I can be very quick to reach for it if it's nicely chilling in the fridge.