High functioning and ready to cut down ? Anyone want to join me ?

[Tinkerbellx]

Hi
I'm not ready to go AF hence a separate thread ( yes I know I should do so sorry just being honest ) , but I'm in my late 40's, single parent and full time professional job .
2 at uni and 1 in 6th form and one still at primary . I'm juggling as many of us are .... the career/family/house / car . Along the way I'm now drinking a bottle of wine most nights . It's become a habit and I know it's making me ill .
I guess I leaned on alcohol throughout a long unhappy marriage / then the divorce and now it's become a habit .
The first thing mummy does when I get home is pour a glass of wine and then I feel myself start to unwind . Except I carry on .
My face is now feels puffy , my clothes are tight , my sleep quality is crap and so on .
I'm at a point in my life where I really need to take control as its my first opportunity in almost 27 years that I actually can .
I have an amazing partner now and we're planning on selling our homes imminently to move in together as a family . I want to have taken back control of this before then .
So I plan on not drinking during he week starting tomorrow .
I've stopped before and after the first night I remember actually enjoying it so I don't know why I'm so panicky ?
Does anyone else want to join me please ?

Haven't had a drink since weekend-my goal is AF weekdays but for some reason really fancy one tonight.

Going to walk the dog and have a bath to keep me from temptation...

32 days AF...... 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Hope everyone is doing well.

Collision 32 days? That's brilliant.

Well done Collision, that's amazing . Has it been hard ?

I really fancied a glass of wine tonight but we don't have any in the house and I can't be arsed to go out - I put my PJs on, as a deterrent.

Hi All. Very impressed with your big number ‘AFs’. Tonight I have reached grand total of 3 AF nights in a row. Don’t think I have managed 3 since I last had flu! I am drinking tonic water without the gin. I wouldn’t have thought I would ever do that but I’m fed up with syrupy tasting soft drinks and I like to drink constantly (if anyone else can relate to that ). What are everyone’s plans for the weekend? 100% sober? Rationed number of units? DH not home yet, but I hope he is supportive, and not too peeved that the weekly grocery delivery is wine free.
Good work on resisting popping out for a bottle bert3400. I’ve done that so many times!

I want to join!

I drink at least one bottle of wine a day, every damn day. At least.

It's toxic. I must stop. I know I drink to numb myself and relax but it will end me.

Sending support alone

@bert3400 good tactic! We ALWAYS have wine in the house. It's hard to avoid it.

@iamyourequal I'm drinking AF wine tonight - it's actually really nice. As for the weekend, I'm on my own with the kids tomorrow night so I might stay AF tomorrow but on Saturday we are out with friends and I will enjoy a few drinks. Even when I have a night out, I try to stay under 20 units for the week (why 20? I have no idea, but I find 14 unrealistic).

@AloneLonelyLoner welcome, I'm glad you joined us. What can we help you with? What have you tried so far? Is there a certain time of day that you can't get past without opening your wine? Maybe start with that and perhaps we can suggest something? Have you been to your GP or tried to access any professional help? I only ask because you say at least a bottle a night, and that really is a lot. Coming on here and saying it is a massive step in the right direction, well done xx

@ bert3400

Actually it’s not been too bad as dh joined me so we haven’t put wine in the fridge and I haven’t bought ice for gin and tonics.

I’ve mainly drunk water.

@ScatteredMama82 thank you for welcoming me.
That scares me a little that you said it's a lot. I know it is, but it's hard to hear. I'll just start whenever I arrive home from work. At weekends it'll be anytime in the afternoon.
I am not sure how to cut down. I'm not sure how I can stop. I've not spoken to anyone about this.

@AloneLonelyLoner I know it is hard to admit to yourself, never mind to anyone else. It is a lot though, and you know it. I really think you should go to your GP for help. Suddenly stopping from that amount of drinking can be dangerous.

Could you do something else, maybe go straight to the cinema after work for instance, to stop that 'get home and open bottle' moment? Have you ever tried counting your units? I found getting the drinkaware app and logging (honestly) the amount I was drinking made it more real. It also helped me not to have that second/third glass as I could see the units adding up.

Do you have kids/a partner?

@ScatteredMama82 I will download that app thank you.
I haven't drunk anything alcoholic today at all.

I have a husband (who I nearly hate) and 3 kids. I'm not sure what I'd say to a GP. I'm really lost. But....

I've been good today.

AloneLonelyLoner - welcome to a safe place. One day at a time, that's my moto.

Thanks so much @bert3400 . I've gone to bed early - without a drink. One day at a time is a good policy I think.

Hello all, first friday night alcohol free for a very long time. Had a few weak moments but they passed. Hello alone, my tactic is to try and focus on how much better I will feel in the morning.

I've discovered on the Drinkaware app that I'm drinking between 50-60 units a week. This is awful.

Yesterday nothing. Today one bottle of beer.

Good call re the drinkaware app alone and for yesterday af is a great start.

Hi AloneLonelyLoner don’t be disheartened at the number of units. The fact you have checked it out on the App is a positive step. Have you set a target of how many to have this week? Have nights off, weaker drinks, alternate with soft drinks. They might all sound obvious but I think they help. If you can reduce a drinking evening to a safe limit, so you don’t get to the blurred thinking of ‘what the hell’ ‘sheep as a lamb’ etc it will help your health. How did you feel this morning?

Thanks @iamyourequal , this morning I felt ok. But I took some sleeping tablets to sleep so mildly groggy. It occurs to me I'm just massively medicating myself.

I drank whisky earlier. I guess 3 or 4 doubles. I'm not sure as it's home and I don't measure. There's no wine in the house.

I let myself down but I didn't have more.

The thing is, the whole 'high functioning ' thing. I'm never drunk. Nobody ever sees me drunk. Nobody knows I'm actually drinking. It feels absurd.

I went out with a friend, for the first ever time, a few weeks ago. We were out til 5. She was ill the whole next day and she had barely drunk anything in comparison to me. She was grey. I realised then that it's not right. I'm running on poison.
It makes me sad and ashamed.
I hate my husband and I am leaving him but I'm scared he'll take my children and use the drink against me, even though it's just a coping mechanism (I see that now) and I'm never actually drunk: I'm just trying not to cry.

Two weeks tomorrow since I had a drink, gotta say I thought I’d miss it at the weekend but I don’t and I’m doing a lot more activities now than I used to at weekends and definitely feeling more energetic, good luck everyone!

I hope you don't mind a late comer.

I really need to address my drinking. I am worried about my health, 16 stone and riddled with auto immune diseases. I don't drink everyday but when I do I'm in it to win it. It is purely boredom that triggers it as now my kids are all older and me and my best friend have always shared drinks when we meet up.... now I'm not busy we can split a bottle of spirits 2-3 times a week. And I'm talking litres, not standard 70c . I feel bloated and fat and suffer horrific heartburn. I have developed super itchy skin in the last month and had a few odd symptoms. Upon googling it all links to liver issues do it's scared to crap out of me tbh .

If I could get to drink under 20-24 units a week I would be happy. I know that's still a lot but I know from past experience excluding it totally is setting myself up for failure . My plan of action is to crack open the craft supplies to keep my hands busy and possibly start nanowrimo in a few weeks.

Glad to read so many of you are doing well with this. It can be a real crutch so hoping to be inspired!

God I hate to say it but I do jigsaws to keep my mind off it 😆, also drink camomile tea at night and I’ve been sleeping loads better @MyRaGaiaStarFishPieA, if you set yourself a date to start, maybe tomorrow? You will feel so much better when you cut down, I was feeling really sluggish so decided to have a break, I’m mot giving up altogether, just trying to stick within the unit per week guidelines in future.

@Notthebradybunch I last drunk on Thursday night, normally I would be out on Friday or Saturday but I'm tucked up in bed and haven't drink since. I can go days/weeks not drinking ( although it's a struggle at first). I am hoping to stay AF until next weekend as I'm away then. I will be massively limiting my intake then too . Just need to try and keep busy in the week so I'm not tempted to drink from sheer boredom.

I think this is a great time of year to reboot our system, I was drinking everyday over the summer but now it's chilly I don't crave that 'sitting in the pub garden'. We have two months to sort our shizzle out before the silly season begins - good luck everyone. One day at a time