High functioning and ready to cut down ? Anyone want to join me ?

[Tinkerbellx]

Hi
I'm not ready to go AF hence a separate thread ( yes I know I should do so sorry just being honest ) , but I'm in my late 40's, single parent and full time professional job .
2 at uni and 1 in 6th form and one still at primary . I'm juggling as many of us are .... the career/family/house / car . Along the way I'm now drinking a bottle of wine most nights . It's become a habit and I know it's making me ill .
I guess I leaned on alcohol throughout a long unhappy marriage / then the divorce and now it's become a habit .
The first thing mummy does when I get home is pour a glass of wine and then I feel myself start to unwind . Except I carry on .
My face is now feels puffy , my clothes are tight , my sleep quality is crap and so on .
I'm at a point in my life where I really need to take control as its my first opportunity in almost 27 years that I actually can .
I have an amazing partner now and we're planning on selling our homes imminently to move in together as a family . I want to have taken back control of this before then .
So I plan on not drinking during he week starting tomorrow .
I've stopped before and after the first night I remember actually enjoying it so I don't know why I'm so panicky ?
Does anyone else want to join me please ?

I’m in. Lost my lovely old ma fairly recently and my drinking has crept up. It’s not helping at all - Partic with sleeplessness and tiredness. Had a week free of alcohol a few weeks ago and felt transformed then slipped back. Good luck all.

It’s eyewayeringly expensive but I do recommend seedlip (not fond of the slice one) with tonic and lots of ice/mint. The cost somehow makes it seem even more ‘special’ although maybe that’s not a great thing as it may reinforce having ‘a drink’. Hmmm

Glad I’ve found this his thread, my drinking had got way out of control. Easily a bottle a night. ( bad relationship, ended now thankfully so I don’t need wine to medicate me)

It all came to a head a few weeks ago when I drank a crazy amount one day and didn’t have a hangover.

I’ve ditched the wine and am currently opting for very weak lager shandy mix. I’m not quite ready to stop mid week, but I’m almost there.

Feel and look better already.

Hi OP, how did it go?

I never drink Monday as I’m up early in the morning but Tuesday night is a drink night & I’m already thinking ‘day off Wednesday, maybe just drinking Tuesday will be okay’
how the hell am I going to manage this?

Well done to those of you already managing to cut down/stop.

Bodear I'm ashamed to say I didn't do AF .
Work today was so stressful and I can't expand incase I identify myself and really love the fact that I'm anonymous here .
Was genuinely looking forward to this evenings challenge but have had 2 G&T's and a small glass of left over wine .
I'm so sorry because this was my time to change and feel like I've let you lovely lot down .
Well done to everyone else who has abstained this evening .
How do you feel ?
That WILL be me tomorrow .

Loving the inspiration and reading how some of you have successfully cut back .
I guess at least I've had less this evening and tomorrow is another day !

Big hugs x x

OP it is of course entirely your choice but maybe you need some help to stop drinking at all. I’ve been there. It’s tough but I can get so much better.

It can get so much better.

I’m in , having a hard time lately and wine is becoming my crutch. I want to give up and just drink on Friday and Saturdays.

Hi HeronLanyon I’m sorry you lost your mum. That must be so difficult for you.
Tomorrow is a new day OP. Let’s all have a great AF night tomorrow, including our new posters tonight. We can buy in chocolate to see us through. I always manage to jump straight from one vice to another- haven’t looked for chocolate in months whilst drinking most nights!

I'm reading this post with interest. I've tried for years to cut down and it always crept up to problematic levels. I was functioning very well but my innards weren't too happy.
If you are looking to get control of your drinking I suggest reading either Alcohol Explained or alcohol Lied to me. I never intended to quit fully but after reading those books I found I was able to not only stop drinking completely but I don't miss it either.

Such a good sleep last night. That , in itself, is worth so much

I'm in from today.
@Tinkerbellx dont beat yourself up , ifit was easy you wouldn't be here seeking support. Draw a line and start again today.

I drink most days , sometimes it is only one and other times it is 5!

It is a habit that i need to break but I know I wont find it easy.

Hi everyone - I hope I'm ok to post here as I stumbled across this thread. This is just go wish you all well. I used to drink too much very regularly and binge drink too.

The thing that changed me was doing the couch to 5k. I now get my relaxation from exercise and very rarely drink. I work full time in a pressure role with a commute hand have a child with SEN at special school. No family support but I have a supportive husband who also works full time ( he's just left for work now at 06:30 am).

I have just done a short yoga video (a 15 minute beginners one) and now having a cuppa in bed before my cycle to work ( electric bike) once my son is collected for school ( SEN Transport). When I get home again at 6 I will run for 30 minutes before spending some family time with my son and getting an early night as I have to be collected at 5:30 am tomorrow for meetings in Amsterdam.

I'm trying to illustrate that life is busy and stressful and running ( via C25k) actually gives me the resilience to cope more than wine ever did.

I apologise if this isn't coming across as helpful but I am sharing a genuine personal experience- I sleep better and look better and manage stress far better.

I also 100% recommend finding 10 minutes quiet each day to do mindfulness - I use the calm app which is fab, and often book a meeting room at work to fit it in over lunch!

Thanks iam - it is tough and crap but gradually becoming a little easier.
northerngreat book recommends - will take a look.
op what honesty ! Essential and one slip does not mean you’re (we’re) not able to make big changes.
Great inspiring stuff on this thread - good luck all. We can do it.

Yup can do this !!
Will check in later take care all
X

Morning all. Hi iam. Hi everyone **.

I managed AF last night. Iam I know you asked for things other than substitute drinks, but when I came in I drank pint of apple and elderflower cordial. I was really thirsty!! My usual would be to glug a glass of vino - from thirst - then pour another quite soon after. So for some of us, a bit of rehydration when getting home might help.

My DH is quite a boozer too. Probably less times per week than me but not by much. I had been ashamed to tell him that I felt the need to cut my drinking down, but did last night.

@missfliss thanks for the inspiration about taking time out for ourselves in order to manage stress levels in various ways.

Thanks Iam for starting this thread - perfect timing for me.

I’m in. Last night I lay awake and decided I’m stopping unless I’m out with friends.

I think it’s folly trying to find an alcohol substitute for the evenings because you’re still doing all the other things in the lead up to a drink. Then it’s too easy to drink. That’s my experience anyway 😂 I do like tonic water with lime juice though.

So I have to either tell someone (DH) I’m not drinking or I have to remove all temptation and drink loads of water in the day so I’m not massively thirsty.

Doing exercise helps me - I’ve joined a running club and running means I won’t drink on certain nights.

Also being mindful helps. So the morning after a drink I’ve started to notice just how down I feel versus when I haven’t drunk. Plus how bad my skin is when I’ve had a heavy session etc etc.

If you wanted to stop, absolutely swore you would stop, really really meant what you said up thread....... yet were not able to stop, you may have a bigger problem than you're willing to admit to. It sounds as if you have lost control of your drinking and, in my experience, it only gets worse unless you stop completely.

There's lots of help out there if you discover that you can't do this on your own

Sparkling water last night. Usually it would be a glass or three of rose. Evenings are hectic so by the time the youngest one is in bed I'm done and need to unwind.

Sitting here getting twitchy.
Usually on my first glass by now, might have to go and have a bath to occupy myself and make it impossible to nip to the shop. Although DH suggested a walk-I’m sure that’s because he wants to go via the shop or pub.
Trying to focus on how nice it will be to have tomorrow off without feeling crap for a change.

I'm glad to see there is so many of us in it together. We can do this! I did OK last night but hardly slept at all so I'll be tempted by the knock out juice later!

Question: I'm going on holiday (abroad, sunny) on Friday. Am I being unrealistic to think I'll stay very low alcohol? I want to but I will be there with my ex. We get along OK as friends but obviously we know how to press each other's buttons too or else we'd still be together! 😂

So far so good here. Was twitchy earlier but am eating now and its passing.

I do find once I have had dinner I am not as bothered about having a drink.

Only half a can of lager here, topped up with a lot of lemonade. I’ve bought becks blue so I’ll switch to that tomorrow.

I Have had an intermittent headache since dropping the wine.

Tucked up in bed now, early nights help.

WEll done to everyone that’s resisted the urge.

Im on this tonight too .
AF and feeling good .
Some really inspirational messages on here thanks all and so good to feel I/ we not alone .
Yes I probably do need to attend a group but it's unrealistic for me right now .
I would have to take my dd with me which I wouldn't and I would have to travel a long way .
I just can't fit that in right now .
Hoping my tiredness improves and anxiety although that's just as likely due to working ridiculous hours / travel / demanding career and being a single parent to 4 dc .
If I can abstain in the week I'll be very very happy .
Good luck all x