Wankerbastards and summer sunshine will make us want the bloody wine. But tryers to be dryers won't give up, and ice cold becks blue we will sup.

[Frouby]

Thread 7 for the tryers.

Join us for tips and support for encouraging a more healthy relationship with alcohol. Whether you want to drink less, or not at all, stay in your units or just cut down this is the thread for friendship, support, tips and ideas.

Absolutely no judgements here, but there will possibly be swearing.

Other threads are dotted around but I have yet to master a clicky link.

I haven't had a period for 2 years so no excuse for my bad moods! I used to have a very good managerial job in the UK, but have never regretted moving to France, even if I earn a pittance. I can moreorless manage my own time , it was very hard as a single parent but now the DC are older and I have a DH I have more time available. At last. I'm able to indulge my passion for sport too. This morning I ran 12 miles with the dog, then cut hedges for the rest of the day, so knackering, but I'd rather do that than sit in an office.
Not AF, half a bottle with DH. It's lovely sitting outside in the evening with the bats flying about.

2 years sans period, MadameF? I want some of what you've got. Mine are now either feast (ho ho) or famine, after about a billion years of appearing on Day 28. At the moment, they appear to be in 'making their mind up' mode. After 3 in a month, Number 4 is surely imminent, as my breasts are so painful I want to cry. This would be slightly more tolerable if they were actually visible, and not just 'token breasts'.

Longest, it sounds as if you have as good as the perfect balance (I realise nothing is perfect). I had a proper job until DS was born, whereupon it all went spectacularly pear-shaped. NC4, it sounds as if you are doing better than I am!

Frouby. You are evidently a bit of a whizz at anything to do with figures and accounting. It would be funny (and very good) if they went for your offer!

Intended to manage Day 2 tonight, but have spectacularly failed. DP has made me cry. Oh well.

Lol FX Frouby! Glad you didn't sell yourself short to people please as I may well have done. I think the reason I am so conflicted as I could definitely have a less stressful.job for more money. Even a sidewayss move to a regulator would involve a ten k payrise and less responsibility. But it'd be a bit dull. So to a certain extent I am doing it for the love, which is all part of the balance, but does rely on the love staying strong and like most relationships it sets me some tests sometimes!

I had no periods on the Mirena coil but I still went through a hormonal cycle and it was a bit rough emotionally. My periods have always been every 6 weeks did to pcos, which was a bugger when TTC but something to be grateful for now I guess.

Am too anti social to people please these days. And like madame would rather please myself than be watching the clock waiting for 5pm. Hence the £40 per hour.

Plus it would be a nightmare job. Its a newish company doing very well with a fair few subbies but the 2 directors aren't paperwork savvy. I'd be getting all sorts of shite to try and decipher and put into some sort of order.

Would much rather deal with dodgy casinos and bookies who I rarely have to actually speak to. Lots of egos in construction and lots of bullshit and creative accounting.

Dion I missed your comment about crying somehow. Hugs, do you want to talk about it?

And NC4 my pal was the interviewee rather than the interviewer but journalism is a properly noble career on any scale - creative and also democratically necessary - and you should feel proud.

dion sorry I missed that you had been crying too. Want me to come and kick him in the bollocks?

Had a lovely day out at garden centre/family farm. Spent hardly anything (about a tenner on a ride, entry and an ice cream), dcs loved it. They really are a nice little threesome to take out. Mates just turned 2 year old was particularly cute today, wanting me to carry her everywhere and being all cute and giggly. The 2 boys were lovely as well. Ds is a bit of a Mr Bombastic, but his friend is a bit shy and retiring and timid so they compliment each other really well. Ds is less bombastic and he pulls other little lad out of his shell a bit.

Didn't get home til 3ish, after leaving at 10am so its a long day traipsing around. Have also started another little group of friends off on The Mystery Of The Secret Garden. Garden centre is set in grounds of a big estate, and has a walled gardens with various statues and towers and monuments. When dd was the same age 10 years ago I told her and her friends a 'tragic love story' about 2 star crossed lovers and every time we went it got built on and built on until no one could remember the original story. Ds has heard bits of it from dd so was asking about it again, so retold the story and the boys were running around looking for clues like dd and her mates did.

Love them this age, so easy to entertain.

Didn't take him kayaking, he's got a barking cough and a bit of a grumbly temp going on so just dropped dd off for dragon boat training. They have a team meeting after training as well so she won't be back while late. Shes getting a lift home so I have had 2 bottles of beers and watched the new Dumbo film with ds.

Nothing else to report here, weather set to be awful tomorrow so ds friend coming here to play for a couple of hours and will potter around doing housework.

Thank you, Longest and Frouby. Yes, a kick in the bollocks would be a good idea. DP is essentially a very selfish man. This means he is often uncaring at best, and downright nasty at worst. But when he's in the right mood, he's delightful and funny and lovely. I just never know which mood it's going to be, and it's exhausting. I think you should be able to take your partner for granted, but you shouldn't act all the time as if you do, IYSWIM.

Spent most of the day fantasising about having a nice glass of wine. However, I have had a smoothie, some Haribo, and an orange instead. So I will be fat, but probably no more so than if I had gone for the wine.

I love the Secret Garden story, Frouby. That is so sweet. Small children are just lovely. Those were the days!

Longest, I'm glad DD2 has perked up. How is DH?

Quickly flying by....

Frouby - well done on proposing the 40k 😉

Longest - glad dd on the up. How’s dh? I hope it ends there and you and dd stay well

Madame - life in France really does sound perfect for you. Quite envious.

NC4 - how’s Toby?

Dion - massive hugs. Totally get what you mean about being able to take for granted but not all the time. Your dp really doesn’t show you enough how special you are to him. I know when my dh goes through his stages of mood changes, that I become exhausted. And constantly second guess what he’s going to be like when he gets home from work. Then I try and counter balance his extreme mood to bring it somewhere within normal range. In the meantime, my own feelings and needs go out of the window and I’m left wiped. And often it fails. It’s almost impossible to counter balance his moods when he’s in extreme phase, no matter how much I try and hope. It’s a lonely deflating place to be. I wish I could give you a hug. I really can empathise with you. But your dp seems to do it more to you. I hope you’re ok. Well done on af. That’s incredible.

Hi. Just been catching up.

Interested in all the posts about ambition, work, balance, having time to follow your passion. I think I've got it all rather wrong. And I think it has to do with my OUTRAGEOUS boozing.

Right. Day 1.

No booze today. max 2 glasses with boyfriend tomorrow. no booze while away with dcs next week. I'll feel better after that.

House stress is doing my head in. I need work done and I don't know what it will cost. I think I might phone the mortgage people about a payment holiday.

Hi again. AF free tonight for the first time in ages.

I thought my dcs were with me tonight but I can't get hold of exP. I know they're not with me tomorrow night and I think I just assumed he wouldn't want them both Friday and Saturday.... so I'm feeling strange. Also guilty! As if there is something wrong about me not having them. I'd love to talk to them. He's not returned my texts or calls (started trying to sort this out yesterday) and they must be fine - no way he wouldnt tell me if anything was actually wrong - but it feels weird.

I've got a cold bottle of water and a week's worth of hangovers to hydrate away. I should be feeling happy that I've got some time to myself to clean up. The house is a mess, many of its recent tedious maintenance issues are now sorted, I have a week off next week - I should be feeling good about things. But I'm just hungover, tired and strung out.

I just need to write this evening off, drink the water, stay AF and look forward to better times.

How is everyone else?

Senseless, I am very similar to you, but not AF. That's the short version. You are doing well to get through this evening. I had XH on the phone. He was complaining about a friend of his calling his DC 'fucking idiots'. I reminded him he had said the same, and far worse, about his own children, and that was one reason I left him. He hung up on me. So, no, I am not AF.

And hugs to you, Flossie. Thank you. Are you on your way back now?

Hi Dion. Sorry about horrible ex. They can press your buttons, can't they?
How are things with your DP now? not that you have to talk about it if you don't want to.

Hello Senseless. Happily, XH can't press any buttons, because any emotional investment in him died about 17 years ago. I have to put up with him because he's the DC's father (albeit one who abused them), but he just washes over me. I listen, make the right noises, then point out that he's hardly Mr Perfect. Then he hangs up on me, because he knows it's true.

DP is a very different matter, though. He can push my buttons from a distance of (literally) 1,000 miles. The sod. I have now run out of wine, so my challenge tomorrow will be not buying any more.

ok Dion I'm rooting for you x

Morning everyone. How's the weather for you where you are? I actually don't mind this blowy raininess - feels fresh - I need some fresh. I was lucky not to be trapped in train hell yesterday, as so many were.

Popping in. On way home from airport. Had the most amazing relaxed happy time. No stress. My eczema practically disappeared (stress induced).
Then went to the loos on arrival in this country, and walk straight into d&v zone. Someone evidently had not been well. Filled loos and sinks!! I’m an emetaphobe so this is my absolute fear. Has taken all the relaxation away from me and I’m thrown into despair and fear. Ffs!!!!!!!

Hi everyone. Sorry for silence. I am up north visiting DM and mil. Dsis and family are here too. Is never the most relaxing- more of a duty visit- and i felt churned up with anxiety this morning for various small reasons that added up to more than the sum of their parts- but it has had some fun moments. Dsis and I snuck out for a drink last night, though dsis was on the Becks blue as pregnant. The kids are a bit overtired and feral but the weather hasn't been quite as awful as promised so just hanging out in the park, blackberry picking, feeding ducks etc this afternoon. Is nice.

I've wasted a day almost completely. I don't care. I feel better than I have in ages. I've read, napped, tidied and cleaned (without noticing, en passant, and the house looks and feels better than for ages) and I'll go for a swim. I still have a headache but my body feels different; more like mine.

I'm so strung out all the time. I'm tired. I don't know how you amazing women can stay so busy all the time and seem ok with it. I feel on the verge of exploding half the time and I'm barely keeping all the balls in the air. It's got a lot to do with drinking.

Recognising that somehow doesn't help me not do it. I wish knowing why you were doing it were a path to knowing how to stop it.

Hi everyone
Longest make the most of your family, even if it is stressful at times.
Dion hugs for bloody DP again. Come and stay with me for a fortnight so you are out of reach for him and the DC. They will soon realise how much they miss you.
Flossie I hope you got back OK, I had to look up what an emetaphobe was.
Senseless it sounds like you have had a great day, and topping it of with a swim is my idea of heaven.
I feel guilty because I only did a 10k run today, busy working for the rest of the day and the local pool shut at 6pm.
I love being busy, I can't sit down and relax except for maybe an hour at the end of the day. DP and DS are sitting down watching stupid You Tube funny videos, is it me or is it a man thing? It would bore me rigid.
The thing that stresses me out most is not being able to do sport every day for some reason, and often twice a day if I can.
Not AF this weekend, have friends coming over for galette saucisse (basically bbq sausages in a savoury pancake with either ketchup or mustart, a Breton favourite). There will be 16 of us and I've just cooked a chocolate fondant cake, a lemon tart, an apple cake (with apples off one of my trees) and panacotta for the dessert. There will be champagne too because it's a celebration of me getting married (as we only invited our children, my dad and the dog). I hope the wind has calmed down by tomorrow afternoon!
Hope everyone is having a nice weekend
@NC4Now where are you, is everything OK?

Longest - I hope the anxiety is easing. There is nothing worse. It eats away inside doesn’t it. Hope you ok and get to enjoy the family time.

Madame - omg your food sounds amazing!! I’m going to look up that Breton fave!! Enjoy. Sounds fab!!
As for the YouTube videos..ds and dd2 are obsessed by them and then shove an iPad under my nose trying to get me to laugh. I just don’t find most of them funny 😂

Home now. Wine in fridge. Tesco delivery about to arrive. Easy dinner this eve with bottle of wine and home comforts. Hols was fabulous. Have had a very open word with dh while away, pointing out how well we got on, how my confidence rose due to not being chastised constantly. I also pointed out how much happier he seemed etc. We’ve agreed to try and bring the changes we made while away, home. In other words change the way in which we deal with stress and arguments. I really hope we can do it.

Hello all! Is it BBQ weather in France Madame? It’s camping weather here ie. wet and miserable.
Senseless I can relate to how you’re feeling. Have you heard from your ex yet? I never mind my boys not being here if I know where they are but the odd time arrangements have been confused I get all angsty.
Flossie welcome home! And Longest I hope the visiting goes ok. You’re in my corner of the country - at least you aren’t camping!

I’m supposed to be at a party tonight but my friend hasn’t replied to my text and she’ll be there. It’s shit. So I’m home with my boys and my cats tonight.

DS2 claims to have fallen desperately ill since I sent him to wash up. His symptoms are increasingly exaggerated the more I get annoyed by his skiving. It’s very annoying.
Pretty sure he’ll be right as rain again after tea.

Thanks guys. Have survived ok. Managed to sneak out for another drink, with DH this time, to the pub we used to go to for underage drinking. Is nice these days, though spookily quiet for a Saturday night. Not at all dry this weekend but survival was the aim of the game.

Hugs to all whose other halves, past and present, are causing them grief, but I am heartened by your story of hope Flossie (though sorry the airport loos brought you home with a bump). We are off on holiday on Friday. May even take another day and leave in Thursday, if dd1's lobbying campaign pays off. Festival technically starts Thursday evening but would mean 4 nights camping. On the other hand we would get ourselves properly settled for Friday rather than it being a rush. Can't decide if it's worth it

I wish knowing why you were doing it were a path to knowing how to stop it

Senseless, me too. As for the mad busyness... I need it, to take my mind off other stuff. Then I need a drink to recover from it. Ugh.

Flossie, Argh, I'd have been on the first plane back to America!!!!! It's good, though, that you have had some better time with DH. Fingers crossed that it lasts.

Glad you have had an ok time, Longest.

Madame, be careful what you suggest, as I might take you up on it . Food sounds lush.

I was AF last night, despite visiting Tesco at the danger hour. One night is better than no nights. FML.

Just checking in, mad busy here, dh driving mad, ds driving mead, dd thinks I am a taxi.

Will be dry today due to being a fucking taxi but need to be anyway.

Currently listening to dh moan about having to build shelves and organise yhe shed on his one day off this week. Tempted to point out have needed shelves building for 4 years, shelves been sat waiting for 2 weeks to be built and if he didn't junk the fucking shed up in the first place it wouldn't need sorting so dramatically.

He's organised his work stuff I think. Will sort rest out properly tomorrow because if I hear him fucking moan one more time about actual adulting I might lose my shit.