Wankerbastards and summer sunshine will make us want the bloody wine. But tryers to be dryers won't give up, and ice cold becks blue we will sup.

[Frouby]

Thread 7 for the tryers.

Join us for tips and support for encouraging a more healthy relationship with alcohol. Whether you want to drink less, or not at all, stay in your units or just cut down this is the thread for friendship, support, tips and ideas.

Absolutely no judgements here, but there will possibly be swearing.

Other threads are dotted around but I have yet to master a clicky link.

Hi all
Frouby I hope the weather was OK for your nature reserve. I'm in awe of all of you spending time with your children. DS is packed of to the local leisure centre most days, but I think he is entertained more with that than by helping me cut the grass, clean the house etc. Karting on Tuesday, Lasergame yesterday, Ninja trampoline course this afternoon...all with friends so he isn't getting bored.

Longest have a nice time with your friend today.

Not doing well with being AF, on the other hand I haven't been eating much so have lost 3lbs. The Dion diet DP has nearly lost his 4kgs, only 6kgs to go now, and me my 2kg, fasting works, just need to keep portions little from now on.

That activity camp sounds amazing Madame!

Fasting though. Mind boggles.

Longest ah yes, it is heavily subsidised by the town, I paid 180€ for 2 months including all the activities. There are some parents who moan even that is too expensive believe it or not.
Re fasting, once you get used to it, it becomes really easy to do. The trick is to stay busy and preferably away from the fridge. It's a little like avoiding alcohol. Drinking water is important to keep hydrated. The shorter your eating window, the less you eat, you physically can't eat as much in a 4 hour window as a 16 hour window.
And once the weight is lost you eat mindfully rather than mindlessly and skipping meals is never an issue. I did 5:2 5 years ago to get down to my ideal weight and if I put on a few extra pounds I just fast for a while to lose them, it 's a quick, cheap diet.

Still feel vaguely like I have been hit by a sledgehammer. Just want to get into bed and sleep, but friend is due round any minute. Just hope she doesn't start grilling me about work stuff. Not sure what to blame for tiredness now as have had 2x AF days and period is easing off. Dd2 seems done in as well though - she's been crying more or less since I picked her up over all manner of nothing.

longest I usually feel like that if I am coming down with something, had a bug last week and only just feel 100%, it's not often I am ill but it takes me days to feel right afterwards. I think we (women) soldier on when what we need really is 2 days in bed like da menz do.

I lose weight quickly when I fast madame. I never eat breakfast (maybe once every 3 weeks at a weekend) and if I am busy skip lunch. If I do that for a week I can easily lose 3lbs. But find I drink more as I have a beer to reward me, which kind of defeats the object.

Weather was good for nature reserve, we had 1 sharp downpour for about 5 mins so took shelter in a hide. The boys loved it and mum friend did as well. She has a ds who is 5 and an almost 2 year old dd and she is struggling a bit in the holidays. She's a sahm and doesn't really drive as her dp uses the car for work most days and she won't drive far anyway, doesn't have family locally or any friends really. So she is always up for a few hours out with the dcs.

We were out about 5 hours, came home, made dinner for tonight, had a quick tidy round and then tooks dcs kayaking/dragon boat racing.

Really really wanted a beer when I got home. Got as far as taking a can out of the fridge, then found a can of diet pepsi and drank that instead telling myself I could have beer if I still wanted it, which of course I didn't.

So winner winner chicken dinner. Am knackered though, was kayaking myself with ds and he wanted to do races with me. He is small but mighty! He's quicker than me despite my best efforts lol.

Well done Frouby! Willpower of iron. Impressive stuff re ds.

Shared bottle with friend. Guzzled it a bit quick and was tempted to open another but friend resisted which is probably just as well. She said I looked kind of pale and done in so maybe I am coming down with something. Was kind of fantasising about a sick day when looking at my HR record today. Last one was 2016. Don't really feel poorly though, just knackered.

longest take a sick day today lovely, then you have the weekend to relax and recover a bit. Sometimes you just need a day of nothingness to feel better.

Just watching the news, poor people in Whaley Bridge. I have a friend that lives there. Luckily they are up a hill so away from the danger area but it's very scarey. We had similar about 12 years ago with a similar reservoir almost breaking out.

Off to ride today and got a bit of work to get done this morning then might take the dog and ds for a long walk round the lake later, or maybe an hour or 2 on the allotment. My tomato plants are like triffids and need a drastic trim.

One day I will get up and have absolutely nothing to get done. This summer has been frantic, and although I love being busy am looking forwards to winter when the allotment is dormant, the ponies are turned away and the weather is rubbish enough to say we are staying in all day and doing absolutely nothing and not feeling guilty.

So far next week we have a local family farm booked in which is a full day out, nature reserve with my dsis, kayaking x 2, dragon boating x 2, ponies probably on the days we aren't at family farm and have said I will go for a long walk with my mum mate from round the corner.

And dh is working tomorrow as well. Have ordered some shelving units for the shed at home and he was supposed to be building them tomorrow so I can reorganize the Shed Of Doom. So it looks like I will build them up and then he can pin them to the wall for me when he comes home. With ds helping. Which probably won't end well.

Won't be dry tonight because friday. I do have a bottle of wine in the fridge which I might open, but will aim for moderation.

Unfortunately I am off today anyway with the DC! And it's dd1's birthday tomorrow. No sick days allowed. Going to IKEA and then the maize maze with dsis.

Yes I saw that about the reservoir. Awful. Can't help but think these hellish rains are another symptom of climates change. Apparently rainfall has increased dramatically this century.

Kids are driving me mad. Dd2 in particular keeps shrieking over nothing. Today it was because I put honey and butter on her toast, because the honey melted in and because she left her water bottle at nursery.

Will catch up in a bit. Had done well, thanks to going out with friends the past couple of nights, to pubs. With pub prices. However. DP is back from a trip abroad, and the most he can offer me is a kiss on the cheek, and a lot of work-related demands (we do work together, when he's here). I wanted more than that. Even a proper kiss would have been nice, just as a mark of affection. He is a bastard. I am not AF.

Longest - hope the birthday was ok and you feel better.

Dion - I really want to reach out and give you a hug. You’re right. He IS a bastard. An absolute wankerbastard. You know this deep down but are holding out for those limited times where he actually does show you love. I’d do the same. But we both know that there are possibly men out there who can show you those lovely times as a dominant feature, not an occasional one. For him to come home to you and give you a peck on the cheek and then go into work mode is unacceptable. I didn’t realise you work together. Does he see you as a work colleague more so? This complicates things for you I’m sure. I’m so sorry you are dealing with this. You are one of the kindest souls. Love and strength coming your way xx

Thank you Flossie. Am very sad (and hungover, which is very stupid of me).

Good to read about everyone's summer holidays, though. More of the same here - work and DC, and not much else. They want me to do things with them, but don't want to do anything I suggest or anything one another suggests. If we finally leave the house together, they manage to have a huge row with one another while we are out, which makes me feel pissed off for having tried to do something nice with them. FML.

How are you feeling, Longest?

Frouby, not having the beer is indeed will of steel. BTW did you make your £100 the other day on sport or casinos? I daren't even look at casinos.

Madame, I laughed at the Dion Diet. I am practising it at the moment, due to unhappiness. It does work.

Hi everyone. I've been busy, not doing well on the booze front, and missing you all.

More later. just want to say happy Saturday and hope you're all well x

Dion hugs lovely, you deserve so much more than a peck on the cheek. He doesn't appreciate you at all, but you know this. £100 was casino, but sports bets should be getting better again as the football season starts, have a look on PA calendar for reloads, and a scan through the sign up offers, there are new ones all the time.

Had a shite day yesterday. Took the dcs to ponies. Ds rode very well despite a bit of a bouncy pony. Dd had a complete meltdown. She rode very well, pony behaved beautifully for a BabyPony, dd got off furious and in tears because I pushed her out of her comfort zone. Then refused to speak to me for 3 hours before storming upstairs when I told her she was being silly. I lost my temper when she said I was being ridiculous, told her it was ridiculous I was paying £500 pcm to keep 2 ponies mainly for her benefit and would sell them both. Ds would be as happy with a new puppy as a pony and with £500 month to play withI might be able to get what I want done in the house, have nicer holidays etc.

I have waited months for her to help me finish BabyPony off, I can't do it on my own, I need someone horsey with me to do it. Have said for months if she doesn't want to do it she needs to let me know so I can get a plan B, she was annoyed I rode her the other week as she wanted to do it blah blah blah. Her confidence isn't high but I do need her to push herself a bit and she has had £1000's and £1000's of pounds spent on tuition and lessons and clinics. Spent a fortune having little pony finished professionally for her and she did the same with him, rode a few times then had a meltdown and every ride ended in drama.

I am more than happy if she says she doesn't want to ride, have told her this time and time and time and time after time. I just need to know so I can make other plans for BabyPony. I can pay for some help. So today we are going to the yard and I am getting on, she can try and help from the ground as much as she can, which will make it a lot more difficult as she doesn't know where she needs to be, and I will have to tell her which means by the time I have told her we might have missed the moment. But BabyPony is very kind and quiet and forgiving so hopefully we will be able to manage.

Then after all that drama Ds had a meltdown. Wanted to play Nerfwars, which never ends well but I relented. He ran out of nerf bullets so threw his gun at me instead. Didn't hit me luckily but obviously the game was stopped, had to have a tough word about emotions and physical violence (its not the first time he has lost his temper and lashed out) and blah blah fucking blah. Ds had a complete snotty, hiccupy meltdown full of sorrys and I won't do it again.

Wasn't dry. Obviously. 4 cans of lager I think, possibly 5. Fml.

Hugs Dion. Flossie is wise, but it's not easy.

Frouby, ungrateful/indecisive kids drive me mad too. Am at Kidzania at the moment. It's s city for kids with jobs to try out. Dd1 to be fair has dashed off delighted with her pal (though they have spent a huge whack of their birthday money on stupid plastic wallets to keep their tokens in, which I am annoyed about) but dd2 is hanging back hovering around and wasting her time here.

Also annoyed at mil for buying dd1 a desk for her birthday. To be fair she really wanted one but it's muggins here who had to spend my weekend putting the fucker together and trying to find space in her tiny bedroom for it. This involved moving a bookcase and all the books collapsed over the floor. Both grandmas have form for this. Swing sets, sandpits, playhouses have arrived over the years but there's days of labour involved involving concrete and other ridiculousness. I also suspect I have some kind of processing disorder when it comes to spatial awareness. I really struggle to work out which way round things should go and it makes me feel stupid and stressed. Oh well. Am remembering mil helped me with bed and trying to be magnanimous. Would be fine if dd1 didn't want everything done this minute, when we already have plans for the day. She also has been waking me excited hourly throughout the night so am not on top form. Looking forward to wine o'clock already!

Still, maize maze was fun yesterday. There are sn array of exciting bouncy castles and slides, plus go karts, water balloon catapults and so on. We go every year with dsis as it's in her village, and qdd1 was sweet and gracious about all her presents, especially the desk and suitcase that DH thought were far too practical to be proper presents!

ARGH! Longest.

Everything is getting on my last nerve today. I've fallen out with dd1 for bringing me Victim Face and a whingey voice about nothing

To be fair things are looking up. Dd2 has tried out a few things and enjoyed them (she even got a free plastic wallet with one of the activities-that cost in game currency to do which the others spurned and now they're annoyed. Fools and their money...) and I have packed them into burger making for lunch while I sit on my own with a brew! Is somehow a lot less horrific than soft play or similar. Is a shame to be indoors really but is quiet and clean. Almost peaceful, even! I left not very subtle hints for DH that it was his job to do the desk chair at least while I was gone. It was a seat plus a box full of jangly crap. Nightmare.

But the whingey voice! I have that row several times a day. Wtf!!

Well we went to ponies, ds rode his pony very well. Dd refused again to get on so I rode instead. Dds face was 😬 at me getting on. Realised she had never actually seen me ride before. But BabyPony was an angel, it all went well and dd I think is slightly regretting not getting on.

Have told her I will ride instead of her, but that BabyPony will get used to me riding which might make her a bit whizzy for her in the future as I prefer a faster ride. So the sooner she rediscovers her nerve the better it will be for her, but I am proceeding as though she doesn't want the ride anymore.

A bit harsh but BabyPony needs her education setting up properly and needs riding forwards which dd won't be able to do if she is too scared to.

Enjoyed myself though, and am looking forward to getting her going properly.

Some photos just because ds and his pony are very cute together .

Flying through, leaving big wet puddles everywhere. School holidays for you.

I’ll be back to catch up properly later.

Longest I think I need to send Dave The Handyman round to yours. He gets me out of many domestic scrapes - usually for £15 and a cup of tea.

I bloody love the sound of Dave the Handyman

I want Dave the Handyman, now, NC4.

Oh God, the whingey voice. And PMSL at Victim Face, Senseless. My DD has long perfected that one. Only now it's all muddled up with the Evil Eye, and the most annoying 'emphasising her point' hand gesture ever known to mankind.

Frouby, if I lived any closer, I'd come and do BabyPony with you. I love, love, love riding/ponies/anything to do with equestrian stuff. If DP and I fall apart, I've already decided I'm going to take up riding again to take my mind off it (if I can afford lessons, that is - I used to ride, but 35 years ago so have long forgotten what to do). I can see why you were frustrated with DD, though. And with DS for the Nerfwars. I have had many of those conversations with my DS over the years. It might sink in eventually. He was actually at his worst when he was gaming. He used to rage at his X Box, then come down and take his anger out on everything around him. He gave up gaming completely a couple of years ago and has been much better since.

Longest, I laughed at 'a seat plus a box of jangly crap'. I am grateful I'm not having to put furniture together. Your DDs are so lucky to have you - and, again, it reminds me of how full on little people are. Teenagers are difficult in other ways, but definitely less full on (I've been at work most of the day today, and they have been doing their own thing).

AF Day One (too hungover not to be). Wooh me. How is everyone else doing?

Desk is done! Genuinely took the shine off the day though. I had to take it apart and pit it back together several times. There are now holes in the front where I mistakenly screwed the back on. Fuck it. Got a bit teary. DD is happy though. DH has belatedly done chair without any instructions even.

Kidzania was fun but dd2 got lost! Felt awful. She just came out of an activity and instead of looking around for me she dashed off looking for me. Didn't know whether to go looking for her or stay put and hope she came back. Eventually she was returned by a member of staff but was in floods of tears and refused to do any more activities that weren't right with me. Dd1 also cried over having spent her money on rubbish. Predictable, much?

Opening second bottle (between 2). Sorry not sorry.

Longest - you bloody deserve that wine!!!!!! Desk building sounds something only Dave the handyman needs to fight with!! As for kidzania....it sounds utter cruelty to parents!!!!!!

Frouby - id come pony with you too!! I had lessons for mother’s day about 10yrs who and loved it. Was something I always wanted to try. I won’t deny I’m scared. But I think frouby style lessons would be perfect!

Dion - why wait for ‘if’ you and dp go wrong to horse ride to take your mind off it. Go now!!!! It’s jusy the confidence boost you need and will give you something for YOU. Just what you need darling. 🤗

Senseless - yup we have those faces from dd1 too. They are zapping. We have the ‘how could you possibly’ face too, especially when I serve vegetables for example. Even more damn annoying she’s a bloody vegetarian!!

Still in Florida. It’s lovely here. In a bubble to be honest. It’s not the real world. Just me, dh, and both dd’s. Ds is texting from
UK saying he’s skint but I can deal with that somehow while away. Dh is behaving as no work stress making him a knob head. Dd1 having meltdowns and being typical teen. Dd2 seems well. Which is all I ask for.
Thinking ahead to coming home next week and another mammoth trip to London for dd2’s treatment. It’s 6hr journey each way so trying to suss out how to do it. Dh has decided he’s too busy to come. So it’s me and both girls. I’m terrified of cities and crowds and public transport etc. But I guess I’m going to have to man up!! Longest, you do it every day!!

Yes, 100% what Flossie said Dion. Get yourself on a horse!

Holiday sounds fab Flossie. I’m annoyed that DH isn’t going to help with your appointment though.

I’m struggling at the moment. I think I’m really stressed. I’m not helping myself by drinking as much as I am, I realise this, but I just feel constantly like I need to do something to take the edge off it.

I was doing so well a few weeks ago, with gym, Ww etc. I’ve cried every day for the last 4 with frustration and anxiety. This is not me at all.