Dry July

[soberken]

Anyone up for Dry July?

Day 1 - 👍🏼

Hi @PiggyPokkyFool

Got a bit side tracked with going to visit my Mum, great distraction for me, keeping busy so whilst I succumbed last weekend I'm doing ok.

How's things with everyone else?

My sleep is for sure improving, which is such a great feeling.

My mum is 10 years in AA so whilst she is ok with me drinking, I just know she looks at me totally differently if I even have 1 glass (NOT THAT I CAN DO THAT!?)

I'm enjoying not drinking, to wake up with no shame or guilt is certainly a motivation

@supercee I agree about drinking for the sake of it, it became a solid habit, oh it's 6pm so I'll open a bottle while I cook .... might as well finish it too!

Just being truly mindful of having that glass, "playing the tape forward" is an enormous help to me. If I play in my head what will actually happen then it actually stops me opening that bottle!

Oh and plans for any tricky moments over the weekend ....

1. Play the tape forward
2. Remember how much it effects my sleep
3. Don't want to feel shit!!!

What's everyone else's go to for tricky / trigger times?

Well done on keeping on the straight and narrow for the last four days @soberken. In the almost 4 weeks I have been doing it, with one pre-planned night off, I have lost 5.2lbs and all my dresses are fitting better which was part of my aim. Next pre-planned break is Saturday night for a celebration meal - yum yum - already looking forward to it.

Hello!

Well done for staying strong on Sunday.

I've not drunk anything but I can't say I'm in a good mental place re: drinking.

I've been watching TV / movies full of people drinking and all I want to do is crawl inside a gin bottle. I keep fantasising about martinis and getting completely blotto.

But I'm not. Eaten loads of ice cream and fruit and drinking herbal tea instead.

"Play the tape forward" is fantastic advice! I will try and do that tonight.

I'm getting my usual Friday twitch already.

What I've found works for me is distraction. I'm so used to walking in from work at 5pm on a Friday, kicking my shoes off and going straight for the wine bottle. It's just become a habit. I actually get really moody and bad tempered if I have to wait even a few minutes before filling the glass. I've noticed if I jump into another task right away, I'm able to distract myself. So for example, I'll come home, grab the dog's lead and go straight back out the door. Or I'll go upstairs and change the bedcovers. Anything really to keep me out the kitchen. I find once I get to around 7pm, the urge wears off a bit and I'm able to cope.

@soberken The effects on my sleep is a huge one for me too! A booze filled weekend makes me feel like I'm running on empty the entire time! I never seem to wake up feeling "refreshed".

@TigerJoy well done for staying strong and fantastic weight loss @PiggyPokkyFool

Hi all,

Confession Friday. I had red wine on Wednesday. Just for the sake of it. There was no need for it, I wasn't desperate for it, I saw my favourite bottle on offer and before I knew it I had bought it and ordered a pizza.

Why?! There was no need or occasion. I didn't get drunk or anything but I didn't have much motivation yesterday. It just reinforced how one slip up (the prosecco on Sunday) makes it sooo hard for me to get back on the wagon, both in terms of alcohol and healthy eating and get myself back into the mindset.

Even yesterday as the weather was nice leaving work I was thinking 'I could do with a glass/bottle of rose', even though by doing so I am not on track to lose 5lbs by end of July. I did 'play the tape forward' though and resisted. The urge does eventually go but it's getting through that.

I have nothing special on this weekend so there's no need for me to drink. It's probably due to boredom even though I am trying to fill my weekend's productively.

Well done @PiggyPokkyFool on the weightloss. Stick in there @TigerJoy, i'm feeling your pain!

I hear you @supercee

My drinking can be totally driven by boredom

Boredom for me too! Also loneliness if DH is working a night shift.

I have this unhelpful association that if I drink alcohol, I will have more fun. So me and a bottle of gin on the sofa is a party. If I'm at a party, it's more fun the more alcohol I drink.

Whereas actually I've got myself into all sorts of scrapes (nothing serious, but embarrassing) because I've drunk too much, and I don't have a good time if I feel too pissed now anyway, so I've been trying to walk an impossible tightrope of being pissed enough that I feel good BUT not too pissed. Which is exhausting!

So I'm trying to think of it differently. If I want to drink because I'm bored, I need to do something more interesting. If I will only enjoy the party because I'm pissed, it's probably a crap party and I shouldn't go / should go home.

@TigerJoy I think we are the same person!! This is actually me

It's strange isn't it? The association that we need to drink to have fun. I think it's partly a cultural thing. Got good news? Have a drink. Got bad news? Have a drink. Weekend? Drink. On holiday? Double drink.

I definitely find myself bored on a Saturday afternoon and think "auch I'll go up to the pub for a couple to pass the time". There are a dozen other things I could be getting on with too.

The naked mind is great to read. I've been teetotal since Christmas and feel so much better. Every aspect of my life has improved though I was a bit of a lush

@soberken hahaha!

I haven't been able to start Naked Mind but I've bought it.

I'm a bit horrified at people's reactions when I've told them I've given up for a year. It seems to make people worried I won't be or having any fun. I think I have a real reputation as a boozer! I was usually the most drunk person in the room, which I think makes everyone else feel better.

I worried that I would be less fun but what I've discovered over the last year of not drinking during the week is I'm a bit bonkers sober too! Turns out when it gets to about 9/10pm and I'm a bit tired my inhibitions drop and I get a bit silly (think - making up nonsense songs when unstacking the dishwasher / dancing round the kitchen). I always thought it was the booze. Turns out it's just my personality!

How we doing comrades?

I'm still doing ok and literally have only had a few urges to "pick up" it soon passes with distractions

I've just finished another book to add the list if anyone is interested. Girl Walks Out of a Bar. Incredible story.

Still sober! Was sorely tempted today by DH acting like a total arse. Realised he'd just be worse if I drank and any benefit would be shortlived. Had a nap instead!

Superb work @TigerJoy ... that's exactly what goes through my mind. Stress ... pain.... boredom. I'll have a drink. But it just makes it worse!

I'm very late to joining but usually I do a few months off a year & am ok on my tod.

However i got to just over the three week Mark yesterday and I caved

I want to keep going of course and will but feel very silly for having that blip so near the end of the stretch.

If I'd only had one or two beers it's wouldn't be so bad but I drank like a fish last night! After three weeks off I'm really disappointed that I totally smashed it and had zero self control, I turned on the tap and didn't stop untill all the beer was finished.

Just coming on for some support for the next week and hopefully reassurence I'm not alone in slipping up & going so hard

No you're not @ChampooPapi .... I royally ballsed up on Sunday .... so I'm back at day 3 and it was spectacular fashion as always.

I'm losing hope I'll ever kick this. I am depressed at the moment and feel shocking.

How's everyone else doing?

@soberken thanks for sharing your support and your honesty about being a fellow ball bag

I'm in bed now and will stick to my goal, I made it through and no hair of the dog this evening.

I know your liver really only starts to detox properly by the 3rd week so I am very very annoyed with myself. I had 'one of those days' but i was so close to the end (whatever the end means)

And @soberken don't give up hope! You carried on and are on day three already so you must move past it now, you are going forward. Do you think it's a good idea for you to do a whole 4 weeks (minus the three days) from now though?

Could be a good idea and worthy 'punishment' for slipping up so could be turn a mistake and something negative into a positive, really teaching yourself that if you cave you will have to start over

@ChampooPapi yes! For me now it's the next 30 days

Hello fellow soberkens/penguins. Warning - LONG POST!
I addressed things with DH tonight - my lovely Dh who is very very D but has always drank too regularly for optimum health. He was talking about doing some massive physically challenges( massively fit) and thought I wasn't listening properly and felt a bit miffed but I actually was -I just doing something else at the same time and we had just had the following conversation.
Me: Well if you really want to take these on then maybe cutting back on the wine would help.
Him: ummm
Me: Maybe if I support you in doing these, you could support me in cutting back on the wine.
Him: Well I don't want to stop completely like you.
Me: Well could you maybe have two days off each week and I could have four?
Him: No commitment - silence.
I noted this and was then getting on with something and noticed he was looking a bit miffed- unusual for him - not a sulker at all.
Me:You ok?
Him: Just said I was committing to something and (paraphrase massively but this is gist)you didn't support me.
Me: Well - I asked you to support me and suggested how it would help you too and you did not commit either. I wasn't going to bring it up as an issue but..... It's hard to do this on my own and I worry about your health.
So outcome - who knows.... will keep you posted.
Such a great man( 100% reliable - never lets me/us down. Never over does it either ) but this is my worry in the background. We are working towards making our DDs and their and our future the best it can be but if he pushes his body too far then our plans will never happen.
Damn - heavy post there.....can't make someone do it if they don't want to do so.

Failed this evening, after nearly a month booze free.

DH got massively stressed and started talking about suicide. Not the first time. :(

We talked it through but after I had a couple of drinks. Didn't know how else to cope.

Felt pretty stupid in the end as I feel no different - I'm not sure alcohol had any effect.

Trying to be nice to myself about the whole thing though. He's on nights tomorrow so it'll be a question of whether I can get back on the wagon again tomorrow.

@TigerJoy sorry you have had such a hard time - it is easy to ' follow old tracks' in situations like these.
Draw a line in the sand and start again today. If you feel tempted tonight post and we'll support you.
Back on the wagon - yee haw!!

Oh god I'm tempted, I'm tempted.

DH is working so I'm on my own. I am utterly wrung out by yesterday evening. I had a difficult meeting at work today and I just cried after it - I feel like I have nothing left to give anyone.

I'm only just home and will cook dinner and try and get an early night but I really, really want a g&t or two.

I'm not sure why as it really didn't make me feel much different yesterday, except I couldn't sleep, so that didn't make today any better!

Would it be the end of the world if I just got back on the wagon tomorrow? I have no intention of just giving up my plan for year of abstinence I just feel like I deserve this.

Having said that, DH would go absolutely ballistic if he knew.