Tryers to be dryers spring into spring, not as much wine, beer or gin. We sow our seeds of hope for a dryer season, but if we drink, it's for a reason.

[Frouby]

Thread 5 for Tryers to be Dryers. A thread for those who want support for moderating or reducing alcohol. Whatever you hope to do, whether it's to have more dry days, or be less wet when you do drink, come and join us for support.

Absolutely no judgement here, just friendly support and chat, the odd swear (lots of swears to be honest). All welcome, new and old tryers to dryers.

Well I certainly made up for my week of moderating last night. I had a bottle of wine and another beer.
Aiming for AF tonight.
Welcome newcomers. I’ll be back in a bit, when I can retain what I’ve read.

Just back from taking my boys out for tea. It’s a new pizza place that’s opened near here. It was lovely. It’s nice to hang out with them. I had a beer with my tea but I’m quite happy to leave it at that.
They’ve both taken themselves off to bed now! 8pm on a Saturday night.
Question is, will I be happy AF once I light the woodburner? It always makes me want a glass of red.

Glad you had a nice evening NC4. I have had a nice day too but am knackered now. Tool kids to lido. Blew up a life-size inflatable unicorn and mermaid by lungpower alone. It was really fun but could have done with being a smidge warmer. Paris friend thought I was mad, but it seemed quite spring like until we attempted a picnic in the park and got caught in a freak combined hail storm and gale. Went to natural history museum which was nice but heaving as always. Very much ready for wine.

It is weird weather isn’t it? I said we should walk to get tea, but DS1, who was out this afternoon said it’s not as nice out as it looks. He was right. The minute the sun goes behind a cloud it’s freezing.
Luckily I have tons of logs.

Just realised on checking off my teacup on my app that this is day 6 AF, not day 5, marvellous!

Lovely day, have pottered and read and dh and I have just spent the afternoon in bed as dd is away 🙂

It is colder than it looks outside, I agree

NC4, that sounds reasonably moderate to me, a bottle of wine

Lol at picnic in the hail! British weather hey?

Water wa call that a sieste crapuleuse in France, good you and DH making the most of DD being away.
Nc4 wood burner on here it is freezing too with a really strong cold Northerly wind. Enjoy your evening and you will wake up feeling great. Which is more than I will, half a bottle of red and a glass of champagne to celebrate the boat we picked up today. To fish for mackerel 😅DS is thrilled.
Longest the lido sounds fun and the museum is brilliant if it is still as good as it was 40 years ago when I last went. I hope your DH is still in a good phase.
Frouby how is your family get together?

NC4. Lucky you with your log burner. It one of the few things I miss from when I was married. Gas fire and big candles for me tonight. Gave heat and a nice glow. Bed now and it's lovely. Breezy weather dried sheets and Pyjamas beautifully. So now cosied up in sweet smelling heaven. And a clear head to look forward to tomorrow. Win win.

Evening all

Family donwas actually OK Madame. I decided to drink in the end and don't regret it other than cost wise. £5 for watered down gin and tonic. I seriously have had 10 or so, a couple of them doubles and I only feel slightly pissed. DH says he was going to the other side to out function room and getting rhubarb and ginger gin and I couldn't even taste it. So I have no idea how many units but it's not many, I don't feel anymore drunk than when I have 4 at home so seriously diluted.

Landlady is one of DHs oldest friends as well, she wasn't serving but it still stinks. I don't mind paying pub prices but not for watered down drink. I might not know much but I do know gin.

But it was a nice night. Auntie was shocked, everyone behaved and qas nice to see some of my older relatives I only see at family dos.

We called in a local pizza place on way home for chips, I used to work there when I was 17. Guy that owns it is still there and still remembers me, I must go in once every 5 years as we moved away. He still always offers me my old job back bless him. Gave the kids free chips as well. He was one of the nicest bosses I have ever had. I worked there while doing my A levels and I remember telling him I had exams in 2 weeks. At the end of my shift he took me to one side, said to have 2 weeks off and gave me my wages plus 2 weeks money as education was more important than a job in a pizza place. He and his wife are from Iran and came to the UK as refugees from some horrific stuff. When I worked there my mum was a single parent, if we ever sent a delivery out that came back as a fake delivery or we made a pizza wrong he used to tell the delivery drivers to drop it at mine for my family. Lovely lovely man.

Ds was funny earlier as well. I rarely wear make up or anything other than jeans and a top with a hoody. Was wearing tight skinny jeans and a sparkly silver top. Asked dd if I looked fat and got a little 'errm no not really' (I did, had to resort to my wedding basque to hold my beer belly in) but ds walked in my room and completely umpromted said 'oh mummy, you look perfect'. Lovely, lovely boy. 💕💕

Found you... I'll read the thread shortly.
I tend to drop off here when I'm drinking again, and trying to kid myself all ok!
April was awful..the booze gave me crippling anxiety and insomnia.
I'm now moderating with renewed vigour. I've read the Allen Carr book and onto Sober diaries which is a great read.
I'm giving myself one more chance to moderate. It's going to mean only ever one drink at a time I think.
If not, I think it's quitting time for me. First time I've written this, but I think I probably am an alcoholic.
I've also signed up for a mindful drinking course via club soda online. I was pleased it has a name, mindful drinking sounds a good thing to achieve.
Hope you are all ok.
Will start reading now.

Morning all

Definetly watered down gin, feel as fresh as a daisy and should be dying on my arse with the amount I had. Been up an hour already, didn't wake up at 2am desperate for water, didn't have the Beer Fear.

Was annoyed last night but quite thankful this morning. Will be dry today, got fatclub tomorrow and need to redeem last nights kebab. Which wasn't as bad as the pizza I would have had and was chicken shish so not horrendous.

Dd is off to Flamingo Land this morning. Think me and dh are going to garden centre and might get an hour on allotment.

Cotton welcome back, glad you found us. Admitting you may have a problem is very difficult and I think half way to resolving it. But it's still very difficult. Will you get medical support if you think you do have a serious issue? Or something like AA? Hugs to you, and don't lose us again.

Yes, big hugs CottonSocks. That’s very brave of you to admit. What is your set up at home? Do you have support or bad influences? I think letting people around you know your intentions can help sometimes.
Frouby glad you had a good night. Bugger about watered down gin though. I’m often a bit disappointed by pub measures compared to my own, but it sounds like it was more than that? Pizza shop man sounds lovely though, and as for DS ❤️
My woodburner is one of the perks of not being married. I like my new home much better than the marital home. I miss la Siesta Crapeuleuse though. I spent yesterday afternoon watching Netflix in bed - but it was literally Netflix and chill, which is boring really.
Madame those bloody mackerel! Your poor DS. A boat sounds fun though.
I’m wide awake but not sure what to do with myself. Not drinking frees up a lot of time, it seems...

Hello Cotton, welcome back. Let us know how you get on with the mindful drinking course. I like the idea of one drink at a time too - it's a clear rule but not total abstinence/forbidden fruit territory.

Heart warmed by your pizza guy story Frouby, it's great to have someone looking out for your future when you are young. But disgraceful re the gin but no hangover is a definite bonus.

Going to try and be AF today because it's Sunday but tomorrow is s bank holiday and my mum won't be here so brain is nagging me that there's another chance to be AF tomorrow. Going to take kids for bike ride and Chinese buffet

Even more heartwarmed by Frouby DS, what a star!

Glad you had a good night Frouby! And how wonderful is DS.
NC4 I always filled my spare time by going for a long run either with the club or on my own, or a cycle ride (sometimes both), there was a lot of it when I didn't drink much, and didn't have a DH
Cotton welcome back. It is very brave of you to admit you might be an alcoholic. I found the Club Soda mindful drinking FB group very helpful. It was better when the group split because all the AF people were very negative about moderators, saying it wasn't possible, whereas it is for some people. I hope it is for you.
I liked the Unexpected Joy of Being Sober, it was a good read and some good tips on how to avoid drinking and what to do in your spare time.
Cold again here. OH is determined to lose weight, he has 8kgs to go, so I think we will be AF again this week. He was mortified by his gut in the wedding photos. I hope we can be AF, last week involved far too many units and I've been sleeping terribly as a result. DD wants to be vegetarian this week so that will help as I rarely want to drink wine with veggie meals for some reason.

Oh Frouby, how lovely about your old boss and ds’s perfect comment 🙂

MdmForest, that’s a great expression, will use that!

Cottonsocks, I hope you’re ok, well done, I’m reading quit lit too.

Well done autumn 🙂

Our evening was lush too, we’d normally go out if dd isn't here but instead we went back to bed, watched an old film and generally ❤️❤️
So stuck to both BSD and AF and dh says he can definitely tell I’m thinner 🙂

My dry January app is looking good too, day 7 AF today. Feel motivated and happy. And clear headed.

Madame I think exercise is the thing. Evenings are tricky because I need to try and keep DS2 in a routine or all hell breaks loose, but during the day definitely.
I’ve got right back into the gym lately. I’d forgotten how much I love lifting weights and feeling strong. My strength is down but it’s still pretty good. I’m leg pressing 150% body weight at the moment, and considering my current weight, that’s quite a lot!
Something seems to have clicked recently. Whether it’s hypno, or drawing that line with XH the other week, or sorting my work out...
Probably a combination, but it feels good,
I’m still envious of your ability to run though 😂

Have now caught up.

Cotton, I'm so glad you have found us again. I wonder if we could try to do this together, as I am having similar thoughts to yours.

I have dropped off here for the past few days because I've been drinking every day and feeling miserable to my very core. All DP related, unfortunately. He is currently treating me as if I were a casual acquaintance. It seems that every little thing I do is wrong in some way, or worthy of criticism. I do know that drinking isn't the answer, but when 6 o'clock rolls around, I just do it anyway.

I made the mistake of taking a sleeping tablet last night (I ration them to about one every couple of months). I was so sick of bad sleep (due to drinking) that I just wanted a good night. I did have a very long sleep, but now feel even worse than usual, and would like to go back to bed.

Water, you are doing so well. To answer your question from upthread, DP and I have been together for 3.5 years, but were good friends for a long time before that.

MadameF, love the sound of the boat. If your DS doesn't want mackerel, I'll have them.

Frouby, your old boss sounds absolutely brilliant. As does your DS!!

Waves to NC4 and Longest.

Sorry for not being more responsive. I just feel too miserable to think, never mind move.

Thanks for your positive messages. I actually feel really good about my (self) admission. I can sleep again and been free from hangovers and guilt. I've not been drunk for almost 2 weeks. Stopping at 1 drink. I've even impressed myself haha. Had 1 at lunch today so used up my allowance. At least I can put it out of my head now for the day

@NC4Now. Dh is very moderate so all good at home. I need to stay clear of dsis.

Dion. Come and join me

Dion this isn’t good for you love. I’m worried about you.
Did you do anything like the Freedom Program when you left XH? You really deserve to be treated better than a casual acquaintance.
I’m speaking as a woman at the arse end of 18 month therapy to deal with my appalling boundaries and self esteem.
I can only speak for myself but I am definitely not my best when I don’t feel valued, in fact I become someone I don’t like much.
Sending you a whopping great virtual hug anyway. And happy to mop up gin soaked tears. I’ve shed enough myself xxx

Dion, I noticed you'd gone quiet and was missing you. I am sorry you feel so shit. I am worried about you too. Can you bring yourself to put a bit of emotional distance between you and DP?

Cottonsocks I didn't realise you were already nearly two weeks into your new plan, that's brilliant. Quite inspirational in fact.

Going for AF till weds I think. May have another cannabis tea or nanny state. Possibly both!

Had Chinese for lunch but also went for long walk (kids on bikes, which worked quite well, though they moaned a bit) and lugged home two really heavy bags of shopping plus library/charity book shop haul, so that compensates a bit.

Dion, sorry you’re feeling so awful, I only know you from here but you seem lovely and deserve more 💐💐💐

I am so touched by your lovely messages, Water, NC4 and Longest. I'm already feeling tearful, but it's nice to feel tearful as a result of kindness now. Cotton, I hadn't realised you were already moderating so successfully either. That is fantastic.

NC4, I only came across the Freedom Programme relatively recently, on MN as it happens. The thing is, I never did anything like that when I left XH because his behaviour towards me wasn't that bad (he largely ignored me, which I could probably have put up with). It was his behaviour towards the DC that was the problem. Then, after I left him, I had to spend all my energy making sure he and the DC were ok. I didn't have any energy left for me. I suppose I have been happy (or willing) to pick up whatever crumbs anyone else would give me. But that isn't very satisfactory. And I am quite sure it has contributed to my problem with alcohol.

Thank you again. xx