Tryers to be dryers spring into spring, not as much wine, beer or gin. We sow our seeds of hope for a dryer season, but if we drink, it's for a reason.

[Frouby]

Thread 5 for Tryers to be Dryers. A thread for those who want support for moderating or reducing alcohol. Whatever you hope to do, whether it's to have more dry days, or be less wet when you do drink, come and join us for support.

Absolutely no judgement here, just friendly support and chat, the odd swear (lots of swears to be honest). All welcome, new and old tryers to dryers.

Longest - to put into perspective the guilt I have.....I told dd off yesterday evening for being a typical 10yr old. Hate telling her off, it doesn’t feel right. Anyway I did. Then she took herself to bed and fell asleep. I went to bed, led there and worried stupid that dd would die overnight and the last thing I’d said to her was telling her off!! So at midnight I went and woke her up ffs. Told her how much I loved her and hugged her tight. She went back to sleep and therefore I could too.
God life’s a bastard sometimes. Such a head fuck!!

flossie if it makes you feel any better my other dsis feels same. Her dd is epileptic and they have nearly lost her 3 times. It's better now, drugs are controlling it but she hates saying No or.telling her dd off. One of the side effects of her meds or the seizures is some behaviour issues so dsis feels doubly guilty as she says her dd can't help it.

It's so difficult.

Fatclub is definitely a laugh a minute though. I may start staying just for the comedy value. The last group I went to, the consultant was a big lass. A good size 16/18. I live across from the KFC and often used to see her car parked up there. She didn't go through the drive thro, but there is a costa coffee next door and I think she was hoping her SW stickered car was assumed to be picking up a skinny latte 😂😂.

It definetly wasn't tho, used to see her coming out with a family bucket.

Some of the concoctions are vile. I will cook as normal and just chuck some extra veg or salad on my plate. It's not what I eat, its what I bloody drink that's the problem.

Homemade chicken tikka madras for tea though. Fuckton of oil in it, Peshawar nan and onion bhajis for starters.

I deserve to be fat .

Oh god frouby yes!! I eat mega healthy. Cool kale with most meals as a side. Trouble is I drown it in olive oil and garlic!! SW consultant would go mad!! I also have pasta with home made sauces..sounds good til I tell you it’s with glugs of olive oil too!! Try to convince myself I’m eating the Mediterranean diet..and drinking it too....til I see it involves one 125ml glass of red wine!! Not 750ml bottle of Pinot Grigio!!!!

Pmsl at the kfc munching slimming world consultant!! 😂😂

My diet on SW was porridge and blueberries for breakfast (currently scoff bagel and butter!). Then stir fry greens with dried noodles for lunch (currently skip lunch!) then loads of veg and new pots and lean steak. (I’m now a vegetarian so won’t be filling up on steak!)

Deffo the wine giving me this pregnant look right now!! Ffs. It comes out like a shelf!!

Send your dsis a big hug from me. I totally am with her

I love you all! Frouby curry sounds worth a few pounds to me, unlike all the Easter eggs I have been scoffing.

It’s hard to say how the kids react Flossie, as it’s all they have ever really known. They’re good about dh opting out of stuff, and are just happy when he does come with us, but I hate it when he gets stressy with them for just being kids, or emotionally demanding of them, and I reckon it’ll only get harder as dd1 gets older and more aware of what unreasonable reactions look like. They’re close to dh though - I guess all things considered they react well, which is something to be grateful for, as dd1 is quite a high needs child in other ways. Dd2 less so, but like any 3yo has her moments!

Big hugs on the parenting guilt - that sounds weirdly familiar - I don’t have any genuine fears of course but I hate parting with dd on bad terms, which happens quite often as she’s such a bugger in the mornings getting off to school . You feel rubbish for the rest of the day. I think I did wake her up to tell her I loved her once too.

In more positive news I have booked flights to Menorca for October (yellowhammer mark II can go whistle) and tickets to a festival I used to love pre/kids. Have never done a festival with dc so a bit terrified, but it will be an adventure anyway.

Love the swimming world stories! I don’t think I could hack that. I hate weighing myself even in private - have not done it for years! My most success diet was low gi which I had to follow when pregnant and had gestational diabetes but obviously once my bloods returned to normal that was licence to lose all willpower.

I'm so sorry about you DH woes! Flossie - marriage means mutual respect and I know Id rather go out to work long hours than be stuck at home dealing with everything you have to.
Longest - it must be so hard with the DC and your poorly DH. Although I agree with Frouby, when men are ill they are spectacularly useless.
Even more useless than usual.

I'm starting to regret getting married 😂😂
Dion how is the 30 day challenge going?

Sadly not dry here but nothing in excess as back to teaching this week.
The only diet that ever worked for me was fasting, other advantage is that it is cheap because you eat a lot less. I only eat 2 meals a day otherwise I'd be overweight despite running every day. Fat genes are in my family.

I’ve been terrible, contemplating the 8 weeks blood sugar diet from next week which will be 8 weeks of not drinking. Not sure yet tho. Will read everyone tomorrow.

MadameForest, I managed one day.

I am going to try again once the DC have gone back to school. I am so sick of the school holidays, and am now just staggering through until next week.

Loving the SW stories, Frouby.

Had about 1,000 units with DP last night, but am still planning to have a small gin. However, I have lost the key to my gin cupboard in the garage (it is locked to keep the teenagers out). So I am going to have to take the door off its hinges. FML.

Longest, hugs. That sounds incredibly hard. One way and another, relationships are never straightforward. It is probably just as well we can't see into the future when we embark on them, or nobody would ever do it.

Flossie, I feel bad enough getting cross with DD when she's had a tough time (even when she's being spectacularly horrible), so I can only imagine how you must feel. What is quite clear is that nobody could be doing more for her than you do. I am sure she will know this. xx

Aww thanks Dion.

Deffo won’t be dry tonight. Had a fucking awful day!! Just want to crawl into a cave alone and stay there quite frankly. Need a bloody good cry 😢

Oh Flossie, you can cry on us. Do you want to tell us about it?

flossie hugs my love, I can't imagine how shit you feel. Cry on us, a proper ugly, snotty hiccupy cry if you want, I don't mind xxx

Not dry here, mainlining lager to pile on a few lbs ready for monday. A few false lbs to lose is always inspirational for the next weigh in. Cousin is apparently joining with me, will definetly be a giggle if she does. She's been a (very successful) personal trainer in the past, made a good living from it and has done all sorts of nutritional courses. She's like me and needs to be held accountable every week though. Have said we don't need to syn everything like avocados etc so will see how we do.

Making twatting quiche tonight. Fml.

Huge hugs, Flossie. We are all here for you to cry on. xxxxx

I want a twatting quiche, Frouby. It's about time you invited us all round. I managed to unscrew my cupboard door, so it is now gin time. I suspect I won't get much else done tonight.

Fucking bastard pastry shrank when I blind baked it so it's got a pastry base and a wholemeal bread crust on 2 ends. Suspect I might be having salad and ham tonight, you can have the scrambled eggs and pastry mix tho 😂😂😂

PMSL at pastry disaster, Frouby (sorry). This is one of many reasons why I buy my twatting quiches, rather than make them myself. Tonight I am having gin and pretzels. Very nutritious.

I don't blame you, I only make the fuckers because I have 49 eggs a week usually so have to use them up somehow.

I love the M and S salmon and broccoli one, need to try and recreate it. Definetly need some baking beads tho 😜

You’re all so lovely. Really mean that 🤗

Just a crap day involving 3 ambulances and an air amb for my dd. She’s fine tho now!! Just couldn’t control her symptoms myself and kept being ok then diving down!!
She seems ok now. Felt the walls closing in. So as dh got home, I walked out. Driven 20 mins to dominoes to get pizza for us all. Sounds not fun, but believe me a 40min round trip ALONE is bloody brilliant!! Home to crack open wine and eat crap!!

Oh God, Flossie, I used to drive to the all-night Sainsbury's after the DC were asleep, just to have 40 mins in the car ON MY OWN and away from bastarding XH. I didn't drink then, mind, so I could drive. FML.

Oh Flossie, that sounds an absolutely atrocious day. Enjoy your peaceful drive and your pizza.

Friend is coming round to stress at me about work again. Am getting increasingly impatient with her, but not sure how to get her to stop. She keeps getting ridiculously upset and wants to come over and get me to spend my evenings going over her work for her. It's a bit much to be honest. Was going to have bath and early night but may have to pour her large glass of wine to get her to talk about something more interesting. Am going out for a drink with a neighbour tomorrow night, which I am quite looking forward to actually, and seeing boozy mates on Sunday afternoon, though I have my piano lesson afterwards which will hopefully will keep me moderate.

Longest - does your friend know what you’re contending with currently at home? She’s putting too much on you. Hope you have your lovely weekend, it sounds like it will be a good one for you.

Frouby - I love the ‘higgety piggety’ twatting quiches, particularly the feta and spinach one. 💕

Flossie, Back when my mum was ill on top I did tell her I just had zero bandwidth at least for that particular week and it properly kicked off. We had a good heart to heart and things got a little bit better but it’s crept back up and I can’t face another massive row. She has a kind heart and would probably do the same for me but I just don’t need that level of support so it’s a bit one sided. I have talked to her about dh but I didn’t find it helps that much to be honest as there is no solution. I’d rather just have a laugh together to take my mind off things. She wants to meet for lunch again today, which would be nice if it was just a social occasion but I know she will bring all her books with her. If I wanted to spend my day off working I have plenty of my own to do, and I will have dd2 with me who will be bored.

She did refuse wine though so we had tea, that’s something. I don’t normally drink tea. Forgot it can be quite calming.

Longest - do you think she’d want to ease the load off you if you were to be honest with her. Maybe say ‘I’d love to go for lunch, but can we do a light hearted one as I need my brain to switch off for an hour’. Surely any normal person would then see this as you needing a break.
You sound too kind.

longest I spend all my work time staring at screens and filling in stuff online. If I am not matched betting, I am dealing with HMRC etc. Because I am good at paperwork and form filling and so on, I used to get constantly asked by friends and family to help whenever they had paperwork to do. After spending 3 days helping various people I started saying no, sorry I really can't stand looking at screens on my down time, it's driving me mad, and as to look at screens for you I might as well be working and earning some money.

Most people got the message but 2 repeat offenders (one of my dsis and my friend) still occasionally ask, but I just say I don't have time, unless they want to come and do my housework/ironing/walk the dog blah blah blah. They tend to find a way now without me doing it.

My friend in particular was a pita with it, so as she is a cleaner I suggested it's like me asking her to come and mop my floors in her down time because I find it difficult. She hasn't asked since.

I don't mind helping people out, but I am one of those people who never asks for anything and would rather struggle and do it myself so it was always one sided. And on the odd occasion I did need help (when I moved house and dh was working away and ds was a baby was one time I can think of) no one offered to help so my favours are morw limited these days, apart from for my cousin, who helps me with so much.

Anyway, just say no, you really don't have the energy at the moment, and it's taking you all your time to do your own job but if she wanta to meet just for lunch that will be lovely, but if she starts discussing work you will stick your fingers in your ears and go la la la la.

Flossie all my twatting quiches end up higgity piggity. I either do too much pastry and it dangles over and I have to hack it off, or not enough and it shrinks and I have to patch it up. An going to buy readymade pastry cases in future I think.

Miserable weather here. Dh just walked in and says he feels ill and his face is all puffy on one side. Ffs. Not sure what that's all about but am tempted to try and get him in the doctors. If there are no appointments for today at our surgery it will be the walk in centre at the hospital and have zero chance of him going there. Fml.

Frouby, eek, hope he's ok.

Lunch was half social half not. I did say I thought "we" needed to compartmentalise work a bit and do more fun stuff to take our mind off it. FX the message gets through.

Longest, you can be doing without that - though I think your suggestion today was very sensible (and kind!) I hadn't remembered you were having piano lessons. How lovely.

Flossie, I love Higgledy piggledy twatting quiches too!! That's our dinner sorted out when I come to stay .

Frouby, asking people for help is almost impossible, I find. Hence gin. Which I am drinking now, again, because I have some left (despite last night). I hope your DH is ok. It sounds like an allergic reaction, so I hope they see him quickly.