Roses are red, we like Becks Blue, Tryers to be Dryers push on through. 2019 will be our Valentine.

[Frouby]

Thread 4 for support, tips, tricks and friendship as we reduce our alcohol intake even more. For anyone who wants to reduce, stop, moderate or even just track their drinking.

Absolutely no judgement, just support. Everyone welcome.

Previous threads somewhere but am rubbish at clicky links.

Old tryers and new dryers, welcome to our thread. The one that starts in February and will see us all hit our goals as we move forwards.

I was 30 when I had dd1 and 34 when I had dd2. I was never very hard partying, but I did have quite a lot of disposable income pre kids so lots of weekends away and posh restaurants

I’d have loved that Longest. I’ve never had a lot of disposable income because my career has been built alongside my family, and mostly on my own.
Ex-h and I had some nice times but generally everything I earn goes to keeping a roof over our heads.
It’s a good job I love my house and kids!

NC4, Struggling through Day One here too. I have had too many write-off weeks recently. Had several slices of cake a couple of hours ago, and a bucket load of tea. Both in the hope of making myself too full to want to drink. No disposable income here, either. All goes on the house and DC. Hence I am trying to top up with matched betting - which Frouby is being so fab about.

Have been listening to my other great love today, the Stone Roses. I was a bit young to go to their famous gigs, but they played our local park a few years ago. Was bloody weird watching my idols play with the sun setting over the DCs' nursery. Like they'd just popped in for a brew

I am OK here with my day 1. Currently supping Ribena which is very sweet and strange tasting now they have removed the sugar.

Absolutely don't mind helping with the MB Dion. It's a bit tricky to get to grips with at first but worth it once you get going. I had help at first, couldn't have done it without and still have help now if I have something new or different to do.

Had a lovely roast chicken for dinner. Found a pack of pigs in blankets in the freezer as well. Bonus. We have swapped from any old chicken to free range chicken. It's a bit more expensive (paid £6 for a medium/large from Aldi) but it's much tastier and I feel better about eating it. Had stopped buying it as we have our own chickens and was feeling really guilty about 'normal' factory farmed chickens. Have also discovered today that Aldi's pork sausage, the fancier ones are from field raised pigs so that made me feel happier too.

Love Sunday evening in Chez Frouby. Dh and ds go for a bath straight after dinner (about 5.30pm) and tend to stay up. Dd wallows in the tub for an hour and I get to have a couple of hours peace.

I don't even particularly want a drink. Have got cheesecake in the fridge though so at least I have something to look forward to.

Longest I adore the Stone Roses. I’d say it was one of the best days of my life when they announced Heaton Park.
I had a dream I was kissing Ian Brown last week 😂
I’m fancying a drink but I need to not. I’ve got fresh sheets on my bed so if DS will hurry up in the bath, I can have a bath and head to bed. I think that’s the best plan really.

It's dh's birthday. We don't normally drink on a Sunday but am hoping he wants wine on his birthday, tbh.

Did he Longest?

Day one, almost done....

Yes! Wine and a takeaway . Next year is his 40th, I might have to make more of an effort. Is mine too come to that, though not till later in the year. Maybe we can do something joint in the Summer between the two.

Urgh. Day one insomnia.

I’m back after a gorgeous wkend away!! Just what we needed. However I got absolutely steaming drunk sat night. Didn’t drink much really, only a bottle, which for me is kinda fine..but I’d moderated the eeek before. The moderation, and the emotional few weeks id had.. I think hit me for six!!
So due to that, and travelling home 6 hours yesterday..I completed day one!! Not sure I’d have had the strength to do so if I’d been at home tho..would’ve been telling myself hair of the dog was needed propbably!!

Anyway..will read back through and catch up on your news, and be back later. Hope you all had good weekends. X

So pleased to read it Flossie! Sorry about the insomnia NC4. I tend to find that's stress related more than anything.

Flossie - so pleased you had a good time, you deserved it.

Longest and Frouby - hope you are feeling better now.

I’m back after my 2 weeks of partying and I feel terrible today. Full of anxiety about everything including my drinking. Feel like I’ve let myself down and am a shit parent for drinking too much. Worrying about my health etc. It didn’t help reading the comments on another thread someone has posted saying they drink 20 units a week. Loads of people have replied saying it’s far too much and they hardly ever drink. Wish I could be like that 🙁

Sorry to wallow in self-pity. I know others on here have got far bigger issues and mine are all of my own making! I just needed to offload. Off for a big dog walk soon to clear the cobwebs. Definitely AF for the next few days!

I stepped away from that thread Canshop. It made me feel shit too. It wasn’t long ago I was a 15 units a week drinker but it’s spiralled badly.

Knackered today and a bit down about my work but a friend has just suggested a walk with her new dog. I think I’ll take her up on it.

Canshop, I hid that thread! I know the feeling, me too. I only managed 7 days AF in Feb and none so far in March so today is day 1 again. Drank a bottle of wine yesterday which is moderate for me and am pleased to have stopped at that.

My aim this week is not to drink until Friday night so that will be 4 days AF if I manage it. Strategy, as ever, is to be in bed by 6pm with a huge jug of water and my tv programmes.

Thanks NC4 and waterandlemonjuice.

NC4 - sorry you are feeling down too. Definitely go on dog walk, the fresh air will do us both good.

Waterandlemonjuice - 4 days AF is my aim too. I was doing 3 before but really need to include Thursdays too. Good luck.

Water I’m trying to get to Friday too. The blanket of sobriety is coming out!

We can do it...

Flossie you totally deserved a lovely weekend. Glad you had one.

Canshop A dog walk will definitely help. Don't beat yourself up on your partying, just try and moderate for a while to give your body a break. I've just read that thread. It's true, most people drink very little and those that do probably underestimate their consumption. However my father has drunk most nights at least half a bottle of wine and is incredibly fit at 84. Genes play a big part in tolerance to alcohol
Flossie so glad you had a good weekend away.
NC4 Frouby Dion well done on your Day 1s, mine is today, I can't remember the last evening I didn't drink and last week was 4 bottles of wine which is awful for me. I blame DP - I was very abstemious when alone.

Our dog walk was lovely. It was the first time I’ve met her dog. He’s a lovely, scruffy, rescue mutt.
We were saying we should try and do more wholesome stuff like that, which is great because there’s a massive drinking culture among my friends and I can feel a bit isolated if I try and moderate.

That's nice NC4. I just had quick lunch with the friend I cancelled drinks with. We have been trying to do running and swimming but are a pair of crocks and our plans keep getting foiled.

DM is only coming for the day this week, which bodes well for a moderate week. May even attempt AF till Friday. I find it helps if I have something to do after work, even if it's early evening, just something that's a change from work. Like tomorrow I am taking the kids to a pancake bonfire thing. Thursday I am babysitting. Even wed I have parents' evening. Gives the evening a focus.

I commented on that thread and it bothered me for a bit too. I thought about family and friends and compared my drinking to theirs. But with lots of people it's not a fair comparison.

My mum doesn't drink other than a whiskey at Christmas.

My cousin doesn't drink because she binges so safer not to.

My friend only drinks on rare nights out.

My ndn rarely drinks because it gives her migraines

My dsis1 drinks maybe a bottle of wine at the weekend.

Dsis2 doesn't drink due to dnephew, but she would if she could.

Dbro drinks at a weekend. Not sure how much but probably 6 pints 3 nights.

Dsis 4 doesn't drink at home, but binges when out.

Dsis 5 drinks 3 or 4 nights a week probably 3 drinks a night, more at a weekend.

Friends (similar stage of family) drink at home regularly and go out out a lot more than us.

Dhs work mates all drink most days. One has 8 cans every night, 7 days a week plus spirits at a weekend. The others might have mon/tues dry but drink quite a bit the other nights.

Mum friends, 1 rarely drinks. 1 every other weekend, another a couple of bottles of wine a week.

So although a lot of people I know don't drink at all, or very moderately, those probably my age group/social similarities/life stage similarity drink as much if not more than me.

And then I didn't feel quite as bad, especially as lots of people aren't 100% honest or don't realise how many units they drink.

And on top of that 14 units is just a random figure really. They can't categorically say that drinking 15 units will cause harm but 13 won't.

Possibly dry tonight, or possibly might have the half bottle of wine in the fridge. Unsure yet. I do better going wet then dry then wet then dry.

Got ds parents evening tonight. He's only 5 bless him, they put so much pressure on them. He is doing really well with his reading, it's really come on in the last couple of weeks so he's moved up a couple of levels apparently. But if you push ds too hard to do something and he loses confidence he doesn't want to do it again so going to ask that he stays on this level until Easter at least.

Done some work this morning, done some housework, had a gossip with cousin who is bonkers and wittering on about conspiracy theories and stone henge and mud fossils and now off to the allotment to feed the chickens and potter up there for half an hour.

Bought myself a potting bench yesterday and am very excited about sorting the shed out. I am officially turning into Alan Titchmarsh 🙈.

It’s funny you say that Frouby. I’m just considering a trip to the garden centre for some trailing begonias.
I’m very un-Titchmarshy, but exH kept the garden beautifully at the old house and I’m determined to make something of my little back yard.

I have parents' evening for dd1 this week too Frouby. She was a bugger to teach to read. Somewhere in the Mumsnet annals you will find at least one thread with me tearing my hair out over it. Now at 7 she is a veritable bookworm but still a total nightmare to teach anything she doesn't especially want to learn. Her teachers have a job on their hands frankly, but they have decided not to pursue an SEN referral which they were considering at one stage.
Will be interested to hear what they have to say on Wednesday.

I am rubbish at gardening, but have a voucher from my old work to spend on a plants website so must decide what to buy. Our garden is a bit small, and north facing which means it's basically an unusable bog all winter, but I like to sit out there in the Summer.

I drink more than average among most people I know, I think, but probably not remarkably more. They are all middle class creative types around here and loose morals come with the territory. I tend to look at other people's virtuous lifestyles with a certain detachment really. Bully for them if they live to a zillion and five. My own habits are my business to deal with.

Haha Longest that made me laugh. Where I live is a bit of a strange place. It’s a proper northern, working class place, but really on the up. There’s a micropub on every corner, co-working spaces in abundance and arts council funded projects all over the place.
My friends are a mix of middle class creatives and working class aspirationals.
Basically: Booths.