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Less wets, more dry, sometimes damp. We are tryers to be dryers. Thread 3!

945 replies

Frouby · 20/09/2018 06:48

New thread for those wanting to reduce alcohol. Always supportive and friendly. No judgements, just support to get to where we feel comfortable with our relationship with alcohol. All welcome.

Am a bit rubbish with clicky links but there are previous threads.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Flossie44 · 28/10/2018 17:27

Ps..not taking my own advice....cooking roast lamb and eyeing up a nice bottle of merlot Hmm

Frouby · 28/10/2018 17:43

Evening all

Lovely photos anglaise and well done. I wish I could run. Am getting much fitter with walking the school run though. Its 0.9 miles so doing about 3.5 miles a day on that, then about 2 miles a day walking the dog. Feel much better for it.

Am dry tonight. Had a bit of a stand off with a bottle of wine in the fridge as I was starting doing a sunday roast but managed to convince myself my ginger cordial was just as nice. Much excitement as we had savoy cabbage and cauliflower cheese made from what we grew on the allotment.

Been wet all weekend though. Had 3 bottles of gin bought for my birthday, am sure people think I like the stuff. A bottle of Tanquery, a pink gin (which is quite nice) and a bottle of blood orange gin liqueur. Also nice.

Got a bit of work to do, then am collapsing with a cuppa.

OP posts:
thecheesehasaphone · 28/10/2018 18:44

I am having a bit of a panic. Last night after a few glasses of wine (obviously!) I looked up on fb a man I gave a bit of a crush on and his gf 😳. Now panicking that I will be a ‘suggested friend’ to them and they will realise what I did. Does anyone know if this is how fb works? I’m too embarrassed to ask anyone else...

Dionysa · 28/10/2018 19:34

Oh, cheese... I know f all about Facebook, though I do have an account (originally signed up to stay in touch with relatives in Australia). I look at it very occasionally, and it suggests friends to me. I never give it a moment's thought, as they're either people I know vaguely, or who know other people I know, or who I've never even heard of Confused. I don't imagine anyone gives it a moment's thought. Facebook also thinks I might be buying a new car and that I'm planning to have cosmetic surgery, if their 'targeted' Hmm adverts are anything to go by...

thecheesehasaphone · 28/10/2018 19:49

Thank you @dionysa. It’s something I would never do sober (I am married after all 😔). But of course I’m drinking again tonight...

Haggisfish · 28/10/2018 19:54

Honestly, don’t worry. I get all sorts of random people suggested.

Dionysa · 28/10/2018 20:02

Oh, Cheese. So am I. Bad day.

Flossie44 · 28/10/2018 20:07

Cheese - I’m not on Facebook so have no clue about it. But all I can say is that I’ve often googled old boyfriends when tiddled. Don’t beat yourself up about it. I think it’s normal to be inquisitive about your past life. I know I am. Doesn’t make me not love dh.
As for drinking tonight...::me too!! Fml.

Felt really low today. Don’t know why. No reason. Just a ‘feel sorry for me and a fml day’. Dh had 5 hours doing his hobby this morn, came home to a lunch I’d made, then went to bed as tired (wtf). Then went for a massage he’d booked himself in for!! I’m a SAHM through having to give up work to care for my dd. I loved my job and independence, but obviously love my dd more. I just crave some head space. I told dh today, I wouldn’t care if I sat on my own in a car in a traffic jam for 5 hours..he got to so that for his hobby. I just need to clear my head. No one can look after dd apart from me or dh or her TA at school. I just need time out to be me. While she’s at school, I’m on constant standby in case she’s taken ill, so don’t really have time ‘off’. I’m only off duty if dh has her...but he doesn’t see the need to do this.
He got home tonight to me having a meltdown so has offered to pay for me to have a spa day next weekend. Now I just feel guilty. Fml!! Pissed off I turn to wine to help!!

Dionysa · 28/10/2018 21:04

Flossie, Flowers. Nobody can ever know how hard it is if they haven't been there themself. The thing is... a spa day is lovely, and a very kind gesture on your DH's part. But the attrition of being the "only one" who can deal with a child with any kind of SN is indescribable. My XH couldn't deal with it at all, which is one reason he is my XH. I used to think it would be easier to have ten children with no additional needs than one with them. Which, obviously, doesn't mean I love my one with additional needs any less - but it's a universe that you can only understand if you have lived in it. Very big hugs to you. xx

Frouby · 28/10/2018 21:13

Flossie my dsis is in a similar situation. Her dd has epilepsy and has serious, life threatening seizures. She is also allergic to diazepam which is the go to seizure recovery drug. To the point she goes into respiratory arrest. Only my sis and her partner and her older son can issue the alternative medication. Or a paediatric doctor. Not paramedics or normal a and e staff. It must be administered within an hour of the seizure starting to prevent long term damage. Or even death.

This means dsis has to be local to dniece and although dsis will potter around walking the dog or nip to the local supermarket while her dd is at school, she carries 2 phones and the meds with her at all times.

It's a very stressful way to live.

And I know what you mean about your dh just swanning around. My dh does the same. I work from home, do all of the everything else and am constantly busy. Dh gets up, goes to work, comes home and is done.

He drives me to drink the fucker.

Am starting a new regime next week. I am not keeping running around and picking up after lazy fuckers. Am having a fuckit bucket. And a fuckit chart. Everything I pick up goes in the fuckit bucket. Every unnecessary mess I clean up, like the bathroom left a mess, or wiping spilt milk up, or pots left in the sink will go on the chart.

Whoever has the most fuckits gets to wash the pots after sunday dinner.

Fuckers.

OP posts:
Flossie44 · 28/10/2018 21:25

Frouby..your fuckit chart made me laugh out very loud!! Genius!!
As for your dsis..that’s me, exactly. When dd is at school, I can’t go far or do anything. Or even put the hoover on in case I miss the call!! I carry the meds with me everywhere just in case too!! Sooo scary and intense and shite for my health!! And shite for my control over alcohol!!

Dion - sending mahoosive empathetic hugs to you too. You’ve been thru hell too. 💐

Oh and by the way..swampy can sod right off tonight!!!!!!!

Flossie44 · 28/10/2018 21:28

Frouby - does your dsis get support??

My dd is also life threatening. She has had 14 anaphylactic attacks, all requiring adrenaline due to her throat closing up, since the end of may!!

Swampymademedoit · 28/10/2018 21:39

Flossie Flowers and hugs to you. xx

And to you, too, Frouby, for being such a generally brilliant person. I love the fuckit chart. My bathroom would be a whole fuckit chart on its own. I dream of having two loos, so I could keep mine all nice while everyone else drowns in their own mountains of wet towels and general filth.

There would be a special fuckit chart for people who only ever put away sodding empty wrappers/cereal boxes/milk bottles, and then complain that I haven't noticed that we need more. Everything else is left out to moulder/go stale, needless to say.

Flossie44 · 28/10/2018 21:41

Seriously Pmsl at name change again 🤣🤣

Flossie44 · 28/10/2018 21:41

😂😂😂😂

Dionysa · 28/10/2018 21:46

Flossie, Swampy is a very bad influence. Grin Grin

Flossie44 · 28/10/2018 21:52

Swampy is a little shit!!

Dionysa · 28/10/2018 21:54

I love him. 😍 Though I am not saving any for him. Ha!

Flossie44 · 28/10/2018 22:06

Oh god I’m
Mega pissed off eith swampy. Wish he’d fought me for it!! Finished a bottle
Of Pinot and feeling rank. Need to go dry tomorrow!! I feel my insides screaming at me to stop this crap!!

Anyone wanna go AF tomorrow????

UsedBySomebodyAlready · 28/10/2018 22:35

It's nice to have found this thread. I've been drinking far too much for far too long. No wild nights out but lots and lots of wine at home. A few weeks back I had a eureka moment and gave up drinking, felt great, but it didn't last long and I fell off the wagon. I know I can do it I just need to do it for longer, and when I don't do it then don't do it less!

Am in a similar situation to Flossie and it's really tough. I just need some cheerleaders really. Day 1 tomorrow.

NC4Now · 28/10/2018 22:35

Don’t worry guys... Swampy’s at my house tonight!

Massive hugs all round though. I can relate a bit to the SN stuff. It’s not in the same league at all, and it sounds really tough for you, but my oldest has dyspraxia and my youngest ASD. We do alright day to day but when things are different (like this week half term) everything is a battle. Some is standard teenage stuff, and some is SN....

Hence my absolute meltdown on Thursday which led me here.

So lots of FlowersCakeandBrew all round.
And for our pal Swampy Wine

Flossie44 · 29/10/2018 08:00

Can I ask you guys..how much alcohol constitutes a wet night for you? And what’s a moderate night?

NC4Now · 29/10/2018 09:51

For me there is no moderate Flossie. That’s my problem. I think a bottle of wine to myself or more is definitely wet, and once I open it, that’s what happens.

I’d love to be able to have a glass of wine after my tea then put the rest away.

SuperDoggo · 29/10/2018 10:26

Can I join in please?

I have always had more than I should and it got even worse when I went through a bad patch in my life about four years ago and it hasn't really got any better even though my life is much improved. I wake up each morning determined but wine o'clock comes and motivation disappears.

DH is overweight and his blood pressure was worryingly high over the weekend. I am worried that some thing will happen to him and that if I carry on like this my DCs will be left alone as young adults. Day 1 AF.

longestlurkerever · 29/10/2018 13:32

Hello. Please can I join? I don't think I have a real problem with alcohol but I definitely enjoy it a bit too much and my DM is a proper alcoholic and now that I can see the long term impact it's had on her health and life i really want to avoid going down that path. Separately DH has some health issues and wants to try going dry for a while to see if it helps so it's as good a time as any for me to try and do the same, though I think significantly reduce rather than totally cut out is what I'm aiming for.
I'm going out on Friday for example and it might involve a glass of wine or two. Does it sound like I'll fit in?