Less wets, more dry, sometimes damp. We are tryers to be dryers. Thread 3!

[Frouby]

New thread for those wanting to reduce alcohol. Always supportive and friendly. No judgements, just support to get to where we feel comfortable with our relationship with alcohol. All welcome.

Am a bit rubbish with clicky links but there are previous threads.

Water sorry to hear about DD. Is she seeing CAMHS? We had a lot of involvement with them with DS1, but thankfully he’s come out the other side.
I hope you have support too.

Thanks - dd is seeing a counsellor once a week, privately but I’m also seeing one from next week, bit scared about it if I’m honest. Teens are a worry...

This thread stopped me drinking today though as I’d posted that wasn’t going to today - dd said oh you could have a glass with lunch, let’s cook a chicken and I said no and told him about this thread and he said ok let’s eat something else then (he hardly drinks and can easily just have one)

Yes I think there's something about having to tell you all that makes me think twice.

Hi all, I have been lurking for a few weeks now, I used to check in on a similar thread a year or so ago, not sure if this is the same one continued.....I have a very up and down relationship with alcohol, drank a lot at one point, then stopped for 8mths started again and was able to moderate but when I would drink was not able to find that off switch....I have had a very wet year in reality, eldest doing GCSE's and all the stress plus any other excuse I could find....have considered stopping altogether again but not sure I really want that....I am managing af during the week now and trying not to go over around 10 units over at the weekend but really just wanted to say hi and say that you all sound like a great supportive bunch no matter where you are in this....prob won't add much more but even being on here and reading all your posts is making me feel more accountable and mindful of what I am drinking.....to be fair it's been a quiet few weekends but have lots coming up so just hope I can keep it up when out with friends etc x

Teens are a real worry. If it gives you hope water DS was all over the place at one time - basically any issue you could have, he had it. He was in a very dark place.

This year he has totally come into his own. He’s actually a real inspiration. ❤️

It was a tough journey but he came through.

Just keep in mind that nothing is forever. But have a hand hold while you get through it.

Thank you NC4now 🙂

My ds was very difficult, he’s in second year at university now but I almost think Dd couldn’t not be ok when he wasn’t ok and now he is ok (after 6 months of counselling plus just growing up a bit) she is allowing herself to feel stuff.

Dion your dp is a twunt and one day you will call it a day and he will be sorry. Until then just be kind. Half a bottle of wine is not that horrendous really, think about how much gin you would have had before moderation.

Teenagers are strange creatures. My dd is 14, a pretty good kid generally but when shes a pita shes a pita. She can flounce with best of them!

Dry today. Just had a cuppa and a bavarian slice tho. Dry but more calories than gin!

Been mad busy all day, just generally running around and Getting Shit Done before the working week. Was supposed to be working a few hours tonight but I can't face it.

Wasn't dry last night, was a bit pissed if I am honest. Had 3 cans and 2 gins. DH wanted to watch some boxing, so I said I would stay up with him as it was £20 to pay per view. The fucker fell asleep on the sofa and I had to wake him up!

Am having a very early night tonight. Have clean bedding on and had a nice soak in the bath so going to read a couple of hours. TV is rubbish anyway.

I’m stressed to high heaven tonight. DS2 has been a complete ungrateful pita all weekend and has thrown it all back at me.

It’s my fault my marriage failed, it’s my fault we had to move, ex had good reason to be horrible to me and DS1, I’ve broken up the family, taken him away from his friends etc etc.

Deep breaths NC4. Deep breaths.

Nc4, teens eh? It’s all high drama and all about them sometimes, sympathy.

Frouby, that doesn’t sound like a huge amount. Enjoy your bath!

Thanks water. I’ve got in the bath to keep me away from the wine shop, and enjoying some low level flirting with an internet bloke.

It’ll probably end in disaster, but it’s entertaining for now....

Oh hugs NC4, I can imagine dd1 saying that stuff a f she's only 7 now. I had a glass of wine at my friend's Diwali party and LOADS of curry (to make up for no more wine). Am home now but going to resist opening more. Feeling pleased as although I don't normally drink on Sundays I find it hard to stop at one glass normally. DM is coming tomorrow though. May have to broach Christmas. Gah.

Not had chance to read...

Back from a great couple of days away. Drunk 3 glasses of wine last night at restaurant and bar. Doesn’t sound bad but then it is actually a whole bottle added up isn’t it!!
Dry tonight :-)

Oh so glad it was good. Where were you? 3 glasses is only a bottle of they were 250ml

Yes 3x 250ml. But still a bloody bottle. AGAIN!! Wish I could be like others and just sip it!! I stood in bar of tgi Fridays looking st people and wondering how much they would drink over the course of a night. I had 3 drinks but still a bottle!! Wonder how much people drink on a night out..

But, Flossie, you are dry tonight. That is an achievement in itself.

I am not.

PS water, you speak for my DC, too. Very similar.

Have now booked a super-expensive appt with hypo guy in 10 days' time. FML.

Dion that’s ace that you have a plan for now. Tiny steps. I really hope hypno guy can help you. How did your first session go?? I think I must have missed your update :-/
Sending you huge hugs. How are things with you this evening?

Hi Sunny. Sounds like you are in the same boat as a lot of us. Welcome aboard!

Dion good move.

Despite everything, Im AF tonight. Made my peace with DS2, and DS1 in his wisdom, said: “just get a bath, or an early night or something to take your mind off it... just not a bottle of wine...” then went and bought some cookies to cheer me up.

It’s bloody hard, this parenting lark, isn’t it?

Water - self harm among teens is such an increasing phenomenon. It’s just so tragic isn’t it. And you must feel so helpless. I really do feel for you. I’ve worked with self harmers in my past life. It really is such a difficult time for teens these days. Social media and the fact they can’t come home and step away from the pressures, due to technology, is a massive issue I believe.
Sending you an empathetic hug. I hope the counsellor can help you all x

Flossie, first session turned out just to be a chat, and an opportunity for him to sell himself to me.

But I have signed up for a £75 initial consultation. I am trying to make sense of this in my head, because I can't afford it. But I can't afford wine/gin, either.

I have no idea whether hypno will help me. I fear it won't. But then I think that if I'm spending £75 (plus follow-ups at £49 each), I have to let myself think that it will help, because I can't bear the thought of essentially tipping the money down the drain. FML a thousand times over.

Frouby, thank you for your kind words. Yes, he is a twunt. You seem to be doing pretty well with moderation. So that is something.

Tonight, I have had half a bottle of wine, a significant sherry, and some rum. DP had friends for dinner, which did not include me, needless to say, so I have been drowning my sorrows. Everything is always, always on his terms. It is hard to deal with this.

Meanwhile, DD has declared war on me because I dared to ask her to pick up her wet towels from the bathroom and replace all the stuff in the fridge/cupboards which she had generally left lying around the house. Apparently this is me "trying to start an argument". She says she is going to stay with XH until I can be "nice" to her (i.e. pick up her crap). It is hard to know how to deal with her. As water says, it's partly that she had to be the "good one" when DS was at home and his AS was taking up so much time and energy. Now he's away, she can have her turn at being foul. Plus 14 is not a nice age - though, weirdly, DS has been a thoroughly agreeable teenager, having been a very difficult younger child. Family dynamics are not easy.

NC4, I am also, funnily, single-handedly responsible for the breakdown of our family, in that I left abusive XH in order to get the DC away from that situation. FML again.

Water, self-harm is an absolute bugger. I hope your DD gets some support - and I hope you do, too.

It just brings it home to me, that we are all going through some pretty horrible times. It's hardly surprising that we are all on this thread.

Yep Dion, same here. DS2 was the golden child, so didn’t see it. Breaks my heart, and his. We’ve had a cry and a cuddle and gone to bed friends though.

Re hypno, that was exactly my thinking. I paid the guy £125 to make me quit the fags. I can’t afford to throw that kind of money away, so it had to work.

I still get occasional cravings and I definitely drink more since, but I haven’t smoked since June.

Feeling horrific- in true me style i drank far too much yesterday, in the day until 8pm when I went to bed. What kind of person does that?! So as I sit here on my birthday, crying, I really really want to stop for good. I don't want to feel this shame and embarrassment again- I want to be healthy, stop drinking and smoking- it's making me ill. I just don't know if I'm mentally strong enough at the moment. I am a major mess.

Recovery . The "kind of person who does that" is the kind of nice, decent, good person who is just struggling with all sorts of crap that life has thrown at them. We are all here to hand-hold.