Less booze. More AF days. But still a bit damp. Not dry jan, but not a soggy summer. Support thread for reducing alcohol.

[Frouby]

New thread in case the other fills up while I am busy this weekend.

Did I mention I get married tomorrow? 😁

Rubbish at clicky links but sure someone clever will be along to link the last thread.

This is a support thread for those wanting to reduce the amount you drink. There is no judgement on here. We are all struggling along with our own problems and lives and looking to cut down. You might only want a couple of weekends off. Or reduce the amount of days you drink. Or the amount you drink. Or both.

Whatever your starting point and whatever your goal come and join us for friendly chat and support.

I want to have a huge glass of wine to celebrate not even wanting a huge glass of wine🤔

Oh, and my next thought is...well I can’t have a problem if I don’t even want one so why am I depriving myself as I am in control. I could have one. Back to the drawing board. Deflated.

Actually you haven't gone AF so you can have a glass if you want to - but will it really make you feel better? I just set myself rules, AF in the week, no more than 10 units over the weekend, that is my treat, I love my weekend red wine but no more than 2 glasses in one evening or willpower might go out of the window. My 'reward' comes from knowing I'm 'normal' and in control, not addicted to alcohol whereas for many years I wasn't sure. I do a lot of sport and that helps as it gives me the endorphins that maybe came from wine in the past, without the fuzzy head and crappy nights sleep. Not spending the whole day looking forward to wine o'clock means you appreciate other things in your life, even if they are insignificant.

Actually..I too reward myself with a glass of wine. Whatever it is, oooooo I’ll pour myself a glasssss!! I also need to find another way!! I don’t really eat chocolate or biscuits etc. However through desperately trying to be AF tonight (2nd night this week) I have bought some choccy biscuits to dunk in a cuppa later. Am actually quite excited!! 🤣🤣

Actually, you are doing brilliantly. I can sort of see why you're deflated, but I live in hope of not noticing that I've not had a drink. I have thus far had one Tesco full-fat G&T (1.3 units), and am cross with myself. However, it has weakened my resolve so much that I'm now toying with trogging to Tesco for a bottle of gin. I absolutely must not. I need to get my sleep in order, quite apart from anything else. I went to the GP yesterday, and she thinks it's all peri-menopause. Ugh.

Woosey, you can do it!!!!!! I don't like chocolate, but I do like crisps. However, they seem to go with alcohol .

Sorry - NC fail...

I don't particularly like sweet stuff either. In fact I eat quite healthily. Properly healthy not tonnes of low fat ready meals or muller light yogurts. Lots of veg and salad. Leanish protein. Proper home cooked food most nights.

I am fat because I drink.

Not horrendous tonight. 2 g and ts. And no bloody lager. My tummy feels flatter already!

Am very tired and off to bed shortly. Job list reducing bit by bit thankfully. But another busy day tomorrow. Work, dd at dentist again, shopping, housework. Havr visitors sunday. Am working all day friday then saturday will be on allotment and shopping for food to feed visitors so need to get the house in a reasonable state.

Frouby, it sounds as if you are as busy as I am. Good, as it gives you something else to think about. Bad, because it makes you feel as if you 'deserve' a drink.

I had another can - the AF G&T this time. So I stuck with my 1.3 units and resisted temptation. It was a real toss-up. But by the time I'd had the AF one, my stomach felt full of fizz, and I didn't fancy anything else at all. Phew.

Oooo Dion remind me of the AF g&t??

I’ve drunk 1 litre of soda water with slices of lime in it!!

Now onto the chocolate biscuits.....

Cando, that sounds amazing! There are very rare nights when I "forget" to drink. Just not wanting it is the miracle cure as far as I'm concerned.

Woosey, I'm sorry to hear about your daughter, but delighted about your af days!
Frouby, I'm so jealous of you and your chickens. It may be wishful thinking, but if I had farm animals and a decent garden I might make more nights af.

I have very little good to report. I had an early(ish) night on Friday, as I had to work early, but I still cut loose a little for my cousin's cookout. Saturday was a wash with some drinks and a, shall we say, disagreement in expectations with the dh. Sunday being Father's day here we planned a nice cookout, but then the other mother and I ended up staying up waaay too late getting sloshed well after the fathers had gone to bed. WE had a pretty good time, but it wasn't really in keeping with the spirit of the holidays

Mixed bag since then. I have a lot to accomplish in the next three-four days, so needless to say I'll both want a drink (or four) and be much better off if I don't have them. I've been reveling a bit that my really busy weeks are over for the time being but also filling my time so I don't just give into sloth and drink. Wish me luck, and cheers for the progress you've all made, however big or small it may feel!

Woosey, we've only had three nights of this week, and you have had two of them AF. That is brilliant. Especially given what's going on with your DD.

Tesco do AF (or as good as AF - 0.1 units per can) G&T in cans. I buy them in four-packs. I had to go to a big Tesco to find them, but they were worth the trip. I get the diet ones, so only 12 cals per can. Interestingly, I think I actually preferred the AF one yesterday, when I had it straight after a can of 'real' G&T. Though of course you don't get the same 'taking the edge off crap stuff' effect...

I have a lot to accomplish in the next three-four days, so needless to say I'll both want a drink (or four) and be much better off if I don't have them. April, you speak for me here.

DP is being a twunt atm (seems to have cancelled our arrangements without telling me). DC will be with their father (arranged so as to accommodate said plans with DP, which are now down the pan). So it is not looking very hopeful tonight.

Oh, Dion. That's the worst of it. Trouble with the other when you are both (somewhat) on the same page sucks, but when you are expecting two different things it's the worst. Particularly if you've agreed upon something and gone out of your way to make it happen!

Is there something you can do to make it up to yourself? Go out with a good friend (though doubtless that would end in more alcohol)? Go to the movies? Get your favorite takeout? Stalk his car and put fish on the engine block?

Woosey, I am going to try to put a link to Tesco G&T here

April, stalking might be the answer. The fact is that I go out of my way to make sure we can see one another, and he goes out of his way to make sure he gets to do whatever he likes, whenever he likes.

Dion sorry DP is being an arse again. Make a list of all the positives and negatives about him and your relationship and see which is the longest. If you are spending more time being unhappy than happy with him is it really worth it? He (or his thoughtles behaviour) is driving you to drink too, which is terrible.
April being busy is great for the next few days, you won't have time to think about drink or drink, as long as you ditch the 'reward' mentality.
I get the impression that most 'normal' people don't even consider having a drink in the evening because they are stressed, or have done something well. And certainly never on their own. They drink alcohol as a social thing, to celebrate something or for a special occasion only.
Woosey 2 nights AF is brilliant especially given the hospitalisation of your DD. You should be patting yourself on the back not beating yourself up.
I've actually met a nice man after all my recent frogs (I live in the middle of nowhere and have no option but the internet). Only thing is he lives 50 miles away but then I'm not looking for a husband I've never lived longer than 18 months full time with someone!

Oh Dion, he sounds like he’s being a complete knob currently. Has he said why he’s cancelled?? Can you do like April suggests and have a back up plan. He will realise that if he cancels, you won’t be sitting waiting for him. He sounds a control freak and it’s totally unfair on you. You went to so much to do something with him, and he has thrown it back at you. Make yourself busy....maybe too busy for him next time.

Anglais....oooo tell us about your Prince??

Deffo not AF tonight..am off out with a couple of girlfriends for wine and tapas..will only end one way. But am very proud of myself for two days AF so far.

Enjoy your evening tonight Woosey you deserve a good night out and with your 2 nights AF drink with a clear conscience!
I could write a book about internet dating French guys! Too early yet for this one but I wanted to see him again which is more than I can say for most of them...and he is quite tall, dark and quite handsome which is more than can be said for most of them too!

So anglais, are you English living in France. Or are you French? How do the French men defer from the English species?

Woosey I'm English, living in France 16 years. The father of my children is English, but he continued to work in the UK so we never really lived together and in the end he decided he didn't want to move to France (plus he met someone else) and we separated in 2008, so since then I've had a few French boyfriends.
In general, the French men I've met looked after themselves well, no dad bods, healthy eating, not much alcohol. They like their women to be slim, sexy, short skirts, heels, matching lingerie (not M&S big knickers). They like a lot of sex, and if they are married and no longer getting any they don't go to the pub (there aren't any, only alcoholics go to bars among the older generation) they get a mistress. The old 5 - 7 extra marital sex sessions are rarer but the long lunchtimes mean it is is easy to book a hotel room for lunchtime sex.
Younger men like attractive older women who look after themselves physically - they are more experienced sexually, they can't get pregnant and normally don't expect a long term relationship.
Oh, and sodomy is normal, they like it a lot. Maybe it is like that in the UK now, but when I lived there is was still just a fantasy for most British men!

Crikey anglais..the men sound wild there in France!! No wonder you’ve stayed there. They sound fun!!

Interesting to hear about les hommes françaises, Anglaise. Also the lack of pubs! Glad to hear you have met one that you would at least like to see again. That is a start. If things go wrong (or more wrong) with DP, it would take me until I'm about 80 to meet anyone I like as much as him.

He changed plans yet again yesterday, so we went out and I woke up with a wine-induced headache. AF tonight, then...

You are braver than me Anglaisr! French men sound like knobbers. They want you sober, thin and available for lunchtime bum sex 😂😂. And if you don't they will find someone else.

Moderation alive and happening here. Put wine in the fridge this morning and haven't even opened it. 2 cans of lager and about half a can of cider in little glasses with ice.

Realised about an hour ago I am starting with cystitis. Was up all night peeing then everything went sore and peeing hurts. Sigh. Obviously I don't have anything in to treat it because I cleaned the medicine cupboard out and binned the last 2 sachets as they were out of date and forgot to replace them.

So tmrw will be AF at least. We are having a bbq sunday so will be drinking a bit then (unless my flue has fell out) but moderating due to flue and ds induction days at new school.

Frouby, I did laugh at your portrait of French men.

And I am seriously impressed by your moderating. AF tonight, but had to be after last night...

Frouby.....I’ve spat out dinner reading that!! Made me hoot!! ‘Lunchtime bum sex’