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Original poster

Our kids arrive on Saturday...

115 replies

mummyBop · 05/03/2008 16:29

Our children will be formally placed for adoption with us on Saturday, so any tips from those who have already been through this?

They are a sibling group (4,6 and 8)whom we've known for about 18 months as we've done respite foter care for them.

I have a "welcome" box each with some goodies in and have sorted their rooms. Anything else we should be doing?

Thanks
MummyBop

OP posts:
Buda · 05/03/2008 16:30

Oh wow! How fabulous. For you and for them. No advice but what a great thing you are doing.

Whooosh · 05/03/2008 16:30

Oh fantastic-congratulations!

How about letting them loose with paints etc on one section of their bedroom walls to personalise it a bit?

CarGirl · 05/03/2008 16:31

Congratulations!

GooseyLoosey · 05/03/2008 16:32

No advice either but congratulations and the best of luck.

Lucycat · 05/03/2008 16:32

How exciting for you all - I was going to suggest the 'make your own notice board' thing - but Whooosh's idea sounds even more fun!

Saturn74 · 05/03/2008 16:33

How exciting!
No experience of this, but just wanted to post and say that I hope it goes brilliantly for you all.

KristinaM · 05/03/2008 16:50

I have advice but you wont like it....

keep everything as normal as possible - no welcome parties, visitors, gifts (except the few you have), no holidays or weekends away

only mum and dad to do all personal care - feeding, bedtime etc

keep as much of their routine & their stuff from the Fc as you can

dont buy lots of new clothes or change their diet or hairstyles ( you can do thsi gradually over time)

have contact with FC or birth family ( if they have this)

lots of quiet times with mum and dad doing stuff like playing in the garden or going to the park or reading

are they moving school / nursery???

are you keeping them off for a while?

PABLOP · 05/03/2008 16:57

Oh mummybop that is wonderful! I have no advice but sure you will be wonderful parents. Congratulations!!

stepfordwife · 05/03/2008 17:01

good advice from kristina..
but just wanted to say Congratulations!
blimey, an 'instant" mum of 3.
hope you and your family will be very happy

hifi · 05/03/2008 17:08

congratulations! , i would also add to KMs fabulous list, place some of their possessions in their
bedrooms and maybe some in the living room, do this before they arrive.

definitely keep everyone away for a couple of weeks as they get overwhelmed.

is dh/dp having time off to settle, would be good for first week at least.

very exciting, and scary, good luck.

Original poster
mummyBop · 05/03/2008 18:16

Thanks everyone

Our plan is to keep it all low key this weekend just have some "us" time. We will take them to church (as we usually do) on Sunday, but apart from that have no plans. Might go swimming / walk in the woods if they want and need to burn off some energy. As for visitors they have already met all our close family and amny friends over the past year, so that is less of an issue, although not this weekend. They are really excited about their new cousins (as are the cousins).

Most of their stuff is already here and in their bedrooms/ play room (some of it has been here for months). They have also had an input into their rooms - posters, decorating etc

As for contact with Foster carers - the thought from them and the SWs was to not have any for a few weeks whilst they settle. The youngest will find it hardest as she has a strong atachement to them and has mixed feelings about moving here. The other too just want to move - in fact there have been problems at home time for the past few weekends. I am wondering about taking the little one back whilst the other two are at school. Any thoughts welcome. The next contact with mum will be May - we are lucky in that she has given consent as she recognises she couldn't cope with them.

As for nursery/school - the youngest starts her new nursery on Monday; the other two will stay at their current school for two weeks before moving to the local one although they are having a "taster" hour on Monday (which takes the pressure off the first school morning).

The "goodies" I have bought are a light each for their bedrooms, some new underwear, boks, new toothbrush, hair clips, dressig up outfits, a small toy each etc. I also have some stuff for their new school (pencil case, pencils, etc) but will save that until they start.

I am lucky as Mr Bop will take 2 weeks paternity leaves - which if nothing else will help with the school runs (20 mile round trip!). Whilst they are at school we plan to do a few jobs around the house, as well as the numerous meetings wth social workers.

Mostly excited, although a bit scared too!

Thanks again
Bop

OP posts:
Catzy · 05/03/2008 18:28

Congratulation Mummy.

Best of luck xx

VanillaPumpkin · 05/03/2008 18:30

Good Luck!!

QueenMeabhOfConnaught · 05/03/2008 18:41

Congratulations mummyBop - it sounds like you have it sussed!

I know my SIL was so over-excited that she invited everyone round and her poor daughter was totally overwhelmed - so you are right to keep it low-key. Hope the settling in goes well.

PandaG · 05/03/2008 18:44

Congratulations! no advice just a big

WendyWeber · 05/03/2008 18:48

Wow - how incredible to suddenly be a family of 5! Your plans for their first weekend sound lovely - proper family things - you and they are very lucky, wishing you all lots of luck

Califrau · 05/03/2008 18:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Christie · 05/03/2008 19:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shatteredmumsrus · 05/03/2008 19:22

the biggest congratulations! You are doing a wonderful, selfless thing xxxxxxxxxxx

KKx · 05/03/2008 19:41

I feel like crying I'm so happy for you all. Hope you have lots of happy times together

WezzleWoo · 05/03/2008 19:41

That's fantastic news.

CONGRATULATIONS

Disenchanted · 05/03/2008 19:44

Awww,

Fantastic

CONGRATULATIONS!!

DiscoDizzy · 05/03/2008 19:47

Thats lovely news, congratulations

KristinaM · 05/03/2008 19:55

hi mummybop

been thinking about you as i do the washing up

i would check that church arent going to " do" anything (like publicly welcoem them). I know it woudl be well intentioned....

if it were my kids i would keep the 4yo off nursery for the two weeks and let her start with the others. she will need the time with you and her dad. i would also take her to see her FC - two weeks is far too long for her to be away from the person she is most attached to. you need to transfer that attachment gradually

your child will let you know when she wants to see less of FC

when kids are at school / nursery DONT DO ANY ODD JOBS. relax, talk to each other. what you are about to do is very very emotionally demanding. you need to stay in touch with each other

we have 3 kids at home similar ages to yours ( 2,3 and 8) and, as someone said here on MN, its like running a nursery with someone you used to date. even " normal" (LOL) kids put pressure on your marriage, let alone SN kids. be good to yourselves

mumwhereareyou · 06/03/2008 07:05

Hi MummyBop

Congratulations from a fellow adopter of 3.

I have to echo what KristnaM says and would keep littly of nursery for a few weeks to let her attach herself to you.

I wouldn't go to see to FCs to the April Hols and would probbaly arrange a meeting in a netural venue so that they don't think they are going back to live (which could happen if you went to their house).

Have plenty of you time and just enjoy them.