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Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

Original poster

Good News

168 replies

Ted27 · 07/09/2021 16:58

Its often said that adopters rarely post about good news. So I thought I would start a good news thread and ask MN to pin it to the top.

I'll start

My son is 17 and going into his second year at college studying engineering. He passed year 1 with Merit. A fantastic journey from special school into mainstream education. He has a Saturday job in a grocers. He is good fun to be around and he has lots of friends. We have had our tough times but the future looks bright. He is a fantastic young man and I'm very proud and privileged to be his mum.

OP posts:
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MrsMarvellous · 07/09/2021 17:17

Ted27 that is an amazing "Good News" story and well done to your DS!
I've read so many helpful threads by you on this board and this is so uplifting.

MutteringDarkly · 07/09/2021 17:18

Well done Ted junior! I'm in for this:

DD was summarised at 3 as "might one day walk, may not ever talk, at least 24 months global delay". 6 years later - she swims, she does yoga, she never shuts up about flipping Pokemon, she has a reading age 6 years ahead of her actual age and she's unstoppable Grin

She has challenges but she's a determined, kind sparky little soul and it is fantastic to share her life.

Whatthechicken · 07/09/2021 17:35

Over the summer holidays we told our children that their BF had passed away. We were dreading it, but knew it had to be done, we had some tears and confusion, but they’ve coped so well considering and are still standing…another blow and they are still standing! Not only standing, but still moving forward. We know it’s an issue that will be revisited and will re-traumatise throughout their childhoods as they are still so young, but they just amaze me with their resilience. They both pulled off a happy and enjoyable first day back at school.

PoppyStellar · 07/09/2021 17:50

What a lovely idea for a thread @Ted27

Our children are amazing aren’t they?

DD has started secondary school and loves it. When I did the obligatory first day photo and compared it to her first day of primary it was so lovely to see the confidence in her eyes this time around. We’ve had lots of challenges like everybody but despite everything she’s turning into an incredible young woman. Feel very privileged to be the mum of such an awesome kid!

Cheeseandchutney · 07/09/2021 18:35

Wonderful post! Thank you all for sharing these lovely stories 😊

MrsMatty · 07/09/2021 20:08

Ted27 what a lovely thread! I’ve enjoyed the posts about your son, he sounds an amazing young man and I can just imagine how proud you are.

I am an adoptive grandmother, very involved in my grandchild’s life. Little One had a truly horrible in-utero start and not a great time in foster care either. They are very affected with anxiety and hyper-vigilance, but goodness me, what a fighter! Now in Year 1 at school and loving it, ahead in pretty much everything, athletic, funny and charming. We are all so proud and constantly amazed, every single day.

Mattieandmummy · 07/09/2021 20:10

Can I just say thank you for doing this as someone just dipping their toes in the water on this topic, it is hugely appreciated

Noimaginationforaun · 07/09/2021 21:15

Ah I love this!

Our little boy is just over 2 and has been with us 5 months! He has just had his 2 year review and the health visitor is delighted with him. He’s exactly on track and doing everything he should be. I know those targets aren’t the be all and end all but compared to the little boy who came to us with about 5-6 words, didn’t know how to play with toys and was really shy and scared - it makes us so, so happy to see how much he’s thrived and settled with us. We love him so much!

Mumtolittlesausage · 08/09/2021 13:33

It's so nice to see the positive stories on here as well. Our DS started in reception today. Walking through those school gates with his head held high made me feel so proud of him. From a tiny 3 month old baby who arrived with us looking very pale and scared he's growing up to be such a kind and loving little boy

121Sarah121 · 08/09/2021 16:25

What a lot of proud parents (and grandparent)! Quite right too. Our kids are amazing and too often we focus on the support they need (which is equally important) but often over look what they can do. So lovely to hear.

My son said he can feel my love.

Flora2021 · 08/09/2021 17:12

That's lovely news☺️ and nice to see a positive post. You and jellycatpyjamas always answer lots of everyone's questions and are gurus full of Wisdom I always read and hope you answer my posts lol. 🤣

seashoreshellsky · 08/09/2021 18:28

more good news please! going through the process now and there is so much negativity about everything that it is easy to think that adoption is impossible or only for those of us who are superhuman saints. although i completely understand that a lot of prospective adopters have to be divested of rose tinted spectacles , there are people like me who are actually the opposite. I have read so much of both scientific and adoption informed literature that offers a very negative view of adoption. I have never thought of it as anything other than a hard road and what i would
really love is a tiny bit of support and the hope of some joy alongside the hard times. so it is lovely to read this thread. thanks so much for your generous posting all of you adoptive parents and adoptees. all your input of all kinds really has helped me when reading these boards.

Chocapple · 08/09/2021 19:49

My DS (5) has been with me for about a year. We were and are the absolute perfect Match.

I think one of the most memorable things is a few months into Placement he started making lots of deep and prolonged eye contact when I was talking to and cuddling him. It was at that point I knew he LOVED me. It took him a while longer to understand that THAT meant he loved me.

But the real tear jerker was when he said and says several times a week how he's never had a mummy before who loves him, takes care of him and keeps him safe. Then I get "I LOVE you mummy" & I choke up.

The good times are getting much longer than the bad times. Adoption is very challenging but totally worth it.

LittleMapleLeaf · 08/09/2021 20:02

Our LOs have been with us for 18 months. Recent good news:

We went away on holiday with a group of friends and their children over the summer - it was a joy to see ours playing so happily on the beach with the other children and watching their friendships develop.

One LO started reception. Her fab teacher has already dealt with one (minor) issue in a super therapeutic way, playful, empathetic and de-shaming.

We got LOs' life story books. They have taken a while but so much love and care has been taken over them, carefully mapping all of their story so far, and with different pages for us to slot in for different ages.

UnderTheNameOfSanders · 09/09/2021 11:50

I've some fantastic news too.

DD2 went in for her college induction day today.

Having missed all of y11 with serious MH issues and still being incredibly anxious re germs & people, she has gone in today. Whether she lasts is another matter, but even going in is a win from where I am.

PoppyStellar · 09/09/2021 19:33

That’s great news @UnderTheNameOfSanders

tldr · 12/09/2021 16:59

sanders that’s amazing news!

We’ve had a rocky summer due to anxiety about starting high school without her friends but she took it all in her stride, including getting herself there and home again. I’m seeing she’s still behaving like herself (she keeps losing her form on the way to the next class because she stays behind to suck up to the teacher at the end of the lesson, classic DD making sure the teachers all know her…) and she’s been fairly grumpy at home, but, good grief, I’m proud of her this week.

Italiangreyhound · 13/09/2021 23:37

Great thread. Well done Ted, well done all.

Our little boy is now in high school. As a family we have had a tough few years. But not so little one is amazing and thriving.

Donteatpurplebroccoli · 14/09/2021 07:05

What a lovely way to start the day reading this! Thanks @Ted27 Smile
We have an amazing 3 year old who has been with us since 4months he was a quiet watch the world but not really react little fella when he arrived, when I picked him up from nursery yesterday was told he’d been the loudest child there yesterday and had a lovely day singing and shouting with his peers! Such a little thing that might make some parents cringe but I was super proud! He didn’t stop talking about the fun he had had all the way home! Star

Emog21 · 14/09/2021 17:47

My 16 year old dd has struggled massively all through school. Major struggles with friendships and social interaction. A period of homeschooling before Gcses and then enforced homeschooling due to covid (how we survived that amazes me!) But she has managed to get into college to do Equine studies, (horses being her world)and I am so proud of how far she has come. Going through similar struggles with ds now, just keep reminding myself how well dd has done and hopefully the same will apply to ds!!

UnderTheNameOfSanders · 14/09/2021 18:07

@Emog21 - Not in Hants by any chance are you?

UnderTheNameOfSanders · 15/09/2021 10:03

(... thinking if you are our DC might be at the same place)

Emog21 · 15/09/2021 10:30

@UnderTheNameOfSanders

(... thinking if you are our DC might be at the same place)
No not hants
Patchyman1 · 15/09/2021 18:27

Our LA panel agreed to our youngest having an EHCP with specialist provision today. He has been out of mainstream for several months now, with alternative provision in place, but this means we can look at specialist schools to meet his needs and have him go somewhere more suited to who he is.
The future is looking a little brighter in our house todaySmile

Jellycatspyjamas · 16/09/2021 23:58

My son said he can feel my love.

I know some of the road you’ve been on @121Sarah121 and this made my heart melt, well done mummy.

My DD sat tonight and rhymed off her Christmas list, her first Christmas with us she wouldn’t tell us anything she wanted because she had no concept that if she asked, she would get. Her first birthday with us she made herself sick with anxiety hoping she might get the one thing she said she would like. To see her sit at dinner telling us all the things she hoped she would get (nothing huge or exceptional but things I know she would love) spoke volumes of how far she’s come in being able to trust us to meet her needs, and some of her wants.

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