2017 potential adopters

[exercisejunkie]

Hi,

I'm beginning my adoption journey in 2017, as a potential single adopter.

Please join me and we can learn, get advice and share as we travel this journey together!

We've attended an info evening and are now waiting for the LA to assign us a social worker for our initial home visit. We have no birth children and hope to adopt an older child (3 - 12). Am I correct in thinking that the overall process is likely to take around two years?

Hi,

Beanhunter it might be worth posting your questions separately on the page so the more experienced adopters see it. I've found them to be really helpful so far.

Catwrangler we had first home visit February 2015 approved September 2016 and currently waiting for a match.

Beanhunter, if you're moving areas then a major thing may be your local support network. Might need to be there long enough to build one up. Always worth just calling up the new LA for a chat though?

Also we didn't go through our local LA. We went for nearby the city LA as the post-adoption support they offered seemed better. You don't have to go with your own LA.

Thanks zee. We already have quite a few friends where we are moving x

Hi, I am a SW and an adopter, I cannot give out our location, but we went with the nearest LA to our home and not the one we live in. There is alot of personal information in the PAR etc and not something we wanted to share with the LA I work in. There are organisations out there that can help, ie The Cornerstone Partnership who are based in Maidenhead but are launching UK coverage for mentoring, training etc. They are adopters who have set up as a Social Enterprise company and can be found on a web search as well as Facebook. Let me know if I can help.
Cariad

Hi I'm just looking at starting the adoption process. Any advice would help.

Hi everyone, DH and I went along to an adoption information day yesterday and had a really good chat with one of the social workers with a view to us requesting an initial home visit in April. We've had multiple IVF failures (most recent in December) and although that is relatively recent, we've been considering and researching adoption for the last few years and feel like now is the right time to begin the journey. I was reassured to hear that even from an initial chat the social worker could tell we've grieved and accepted what has happened in the past and are ready to begin. It was a bit scary to hear from one of the speakers at the event who was approved within a year- somehow I think that's an exception rather than the norm. Really interested to hear where other people are in the process. Think I need to manage my expectations too, at the minute i'm a bit giddy but I realise its going to be a tough slog!
Bean, I've name changed but you'll know me from Facebook!

Hi cinnamontwirl. Their target is approval within 6 months and they have to have good reason to miss such targets. Ours took 8 months but only because twice we asked them to delay parts by a month (stage 1 because we were going on a month long holiday, stage 2 so we could have one more month to clear the credit cards). You will definitely be approved well within a year, barring anything coming up with your references or DBS checks.

We just had our initial visit today- social worker was really nice, dog was on his best behaviour and social worker seemed to like him (that was my biggest worry!), and she is making a recommendation to her manager that we are accepted onto stage 1!

Well things have progressed since I last posted on here .... after a pretty bad start with the agency due to an interrogation over the phone , I had my home assessment visit yesterday which went well. I received a call today to say that all was ok and they would love to proceed me on to stage 1 I'm not sure what to expect .... can anyone give me some advice .... thankyou xxx

Hi taddygirl, congratulations

I'll give you a brief run down of my experience of stage 1 as I'm at the end waiting to hear if I can move to stage 2.

My authority (three counties together just north of London) do the following and thus is my time line but it does vary.

No home visit
Open evening - expression of interest form
Invitation to foundation day (early Jan for me)
Foundation day is info on the children, the process, a visit from the family finding team and a talk from an adopter.
Phone call the next day to invite onto stage 1
Workshop 1 a week later, we were emailed a load of forms to fill in for local authority checks, DBS and given workbook 1.

Workbook 1 is about me, my life, education, childhood, a home safety assessment, financial assessment, it's very reflective, mine was 5,467 words in total.

Mid Feb I had ATP (adoptive parent training) not going to lie, it's tough, emotional, but very very good, we were made very clear that all children will have delays and most will have disordered attachment and trauma, from being moved, their history, experiences etc, lots of excellent tips and advice.
We were given workbook 2, family tree, support systems and then a lot of reflection on what we learnt on APT.

Currently waiting for my end of stage 1 interview.
Any Qs please ask. The process will vary but is similar due to statutory guidelines firm the BAAF.

Hi Everyone. I just awaiting for the news as to whether I get accepted on stage 1. My process has been slightly longer than expected. Enquiry, Telephone interview from social worker, information evening, 3 hour face to face interview with social worker, received expression of interested form, after been accepted to move on, and now I'm waiting to her whether I have been accepted on the first stage! This has happened very quickly but I didn't realise that I would have to pass every stage before I get to stage one. I'm now just waiting to receive my outcome letter

Hi, a quick question for you Cariad....would you have been allowed to adopt through the authority you work for or would that be a conflict of interest? Just wondered as I work in children's services for my LA. I'd prefer to adopt through them but as I've worked in various roles for the same authority over the last 15 years I've come into contact with the adoption teams a lot or previous colleagues are now working in adoption. I still have occasional contact with adoption support too. I am concerned about confidentiality but overall I know how our authority works and feel they would be best for us.

I don't know whether it's worth pursuing locally or use a neighbouring authority?

Thanks xx

Hi

I am starting my adoption journey and was wondering if anyone could recommend any good VA in London. Any feedback or info would help me take my decision on agency.

Thanks

Hi everyone,

Just a quick question about how closely finances are checked during the adoption process? We've got a few debts which we're chipping away at (mostly on 0% interest credit cards but probably adds up to about 9 grand) we both earn an okay wage and are meeting repayments. We can cover all our outgoings with a bit to spare (which we're using to make extra payments when we can) Just wondered if this would be likely to impact on us being accepted to apply to adopt at this stage or whether we need to get them all cleared before we even think about applying?

Hi MrsSVN, I think they will want to look at your debts, and for you to explain how you will cover them if one of you is on leave for a year. Our SW went through our statements etc and commented on my enormous overdraft (which I basically live in). She wanted to know how I would manage it if I was on adoption leave and not being paid regularly. Me and DH have agreed to one big joint account (although he does earn quite a lot) which seemed to satisfy her. Sadly they are quite forensic in their approach to our lives - I suppose they have to be! Just have a think about how you'll pay your credit cards off when your financial situation changes, and IMO that'll cover you.

Fab! Thanks for your reply. That sounds doable. I just wasn't sure if it id be a complete deal breaker if we apply before we've paid everything off.

Eeeeek so I received an email yesterday from my assigned social worker who is coming for her first visit next week 😬.
Crb check is in progress , my referees and ex husband have all received forms in the post and I have my medical on Friday which I am really nervous about as I'm not anywhere near a size zero so I'm sure this will probably not go in my favour ?
It's all happening now ... really nervous about the first visit she's given me 3 visit dates which are all days apart. I've started on my stage 1 e learning modules already and now reading some recommended books ... let the hard work begin 😀

Yay congratulations. It's really exciting when it all starts moving. We liked the structure of 2hr meeting every 2 weeks from start to approval panel, always felt it was moving forward.

Now in limbo waiting on a match. SW works more behind the scenes without the regular up dates. We had a potential match that didn't work out, attended an exchange day and seen profiles of some lovely kids but still waiting to hear anything back.

I have officially started stage one.

Social worker came today and went through my workbook. I honestly didn't realise that she'd look around today lol. Out of site of of mine caught me off guard when I forgot that I threw everything into my bedroom. but, all seemed to go well and bother pets loved the SW. Courses booked and I start next month!

Hope it's ok to join, DH and I are going to our LA (Kent) information event on Tuesday. We are considering adoption and looking forward to finding out more info but have our concerns, I am 35, DH is 50, so not neither Spring chickens, is this likely to affect an application? I am also concerned about our financial situation, we have around £2000 overdraft debt and relatively low income and wonder if this will affect an application? DHs son has learning difficulties and lives in a residential school, we look after him for a few hrs every other weekend and not sure if this will be an issue. We both have lots of experience working with a range of children and feel we have lots to offer but keen to learn more about the process, which I already have from the posts on here so thanks! x

Hi Char22thom,

My husband and I are also considering adoption after multiple failed IVF cycles. We're also in Kent and I was wondering how you found the information event? Was it scary or reassuring? We're just about to sign up to the next event.

Good luck to you, if you decide to go ahead with adoption!

End of stage 1 (hopefully!) meeting for us today. Already emailed workbook and keeping fingers crossed we've done everything as they wanted. Got dog assessments and home safety check today too. Feeling a bit nervous about it all. Wish us luck!!

Good luck earthy! My end of stage 1 meeting is this week too, will be thinking of you!

Thanks exercisejunky all went well and we are through to next stage

Good luck to you too!!