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Adoption

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on adoption.

Original poster

2017 potential adopters

144 replies

exercisejunkie · 27/12/2016 13:08

Hi,

I'm beginning my adoption journey in 2017, as a potential single adopter.

Please join me and we can learn, get advice and share as we travel this journey together!

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Original poster
exercisejunkie · 01/01/2017 17:45

Choco - very helpful info, thank you!! Can you recommend a good book about funnelling etc, I read your very imformative comment on another post and it got me thinking that this is something family might need to read about rather than hear from me!

Kellyboo- excellent to hear it went well testing the water with DSD.

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Chocogoingcuckoo · 02/01/2017 09:20

Hi, I hope you've all had a great New Year, all the best for 2017 may it be everything you wish for and more.

All I know about funnelling is what SW have taught us and some reading via Google searches so far Smile there's a live thread in this section at the moment called 'help for aunt' or similar, the ladies that have commented on that seem to have put it into practice and may have good suggestions for it. It's defo something I want to do. If you get good recommendation's please let us know.

DeegeeDee · 03/01/2017 22:29

Hi all, found this thread when googling as we are also on the road to adoption this year. We decided last August to give it a go (no children through choice), have done the Information day and are going through Stage 1 with our training days next month. Although we think we know what we are in for, know we have a way to go still - we have just ordered some of the recommended reading books. Articles such as the DM a week ago isnt helpful. Looking forward to hearing and learning more and giving the benefit of my scant knowledge, would appreciate any links that others have found useful to aid the journey. To all of you, good luck.

D

Original poster
exercisejunkie · 05/01/2017 06:26

Welcome deegee!

Sounds like we're at a similar stage.

I went back to work yesterday having told one of my boss's before Xmas (I'm a nanny and told the children's mum) it went well and she was fab so I sent over dates for AL for training days while I was off over Xmas.
Today my other boss (the children's dad) said to me "I just wanted to tell you that we talked about your plans to adopt over Xmas and I think what your doing is wicked! We totally support you and think there's one lucky child out there to get you as a mum"

I had to give a very fumbled "err thanks" and rush out the room on the pretence of doing something for the children so he didn't see me almost cry!

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earthyambitions · 05/01/2017 07:03

Hi all, we have decided to make our initial inquiry this weekend. Somehow feels like a massive step that first one yet I realise their are many more huge leaps to make!

exercisejunkie what a lovely thing for him to say. I'm not 100% sure what reaction to expect at work. What stage did you all tell your bosses? I guess quite soon if you need time off and references?

Original poster
exercisejunkie · 05/01/2017 07:11

Earthyambitions- I ummed and ahhed about when to tell them and finally decided to tell them before Xmas before I start stage 1.
My reasoning was that I wanted to be honest with them, I also want to come back to work for them after Adoption leave (if I'm approved!!) as a nanny with my own child i.e. Taking a child with me to work. As a single adopter and a Nanny it could work well, I can still work, still care for a child and continue building attachment after adoption leave.

my youngest charge will be starting school in 18months. They really appreciated me telling them early on and said that they had been worrying about cutting my hours and loosing me so if I actually want less hours it could work out perfectly for us all.

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RosieTheQueenOfCorona · 05/01/2017 14:21

May I join? We started the adoption journey last year, the feedback after our 1st social worker meeting was the they thought we had a lot to offer but wanted us to wait awhile as we'd been through a lot of upheaval in 2016. We are going to apply again in March.

Original poster
exercisejunkie · 05/01/2017 14:47

Welcome Rosie!

Please do join in the chat and discussion!

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DeegeeDee · 08/01/2017 19:58

Hi all

Still making my mind up as to when to tell my boss (and my team), am going for promotion soon and don't want the fact we are adopting to affect the decision (I know, its 2017....) Think we will wait until we have gotten through Stage 1 and know we are definitely committed.

earthyambitions · 08/01/2017 21:33

Well we've submitted the online initial enquiry form this weekend. It says we should expect someone to get in touch within a week. The ball is officially rolling!!

Original poster
exercisejunkie · 09/01/2017 10:33

Earthy - fantastic! I submitted my expression of interest form on the 16th Dec at the open evening, at the open evening they told us the upcoming dates for foundation day, 2 APT days and 2 half day workshops, they said the next foundation day was Feb but as I'm a single adopter they squeezed me in for the 12th Jan one, this week!! I then have a workshop in Feb, APT days mid march (two consecutive days) and the last workshop the following week so IF it all goes well I could finish stage 1 by the end of march.

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Piglizard · 09/01/2017 17:59

Hi all. We attended info evening in November 2015, applied soon after, and were proved last August. Have recently seen profiles of two sisters from our LA and are progressing with a view to being matched with them. An exciting (and scary) year ahead!

Original poster
exercisejunkie · 09/01/2017 19:57

Wow piglizard! That's amazing! So fantastic and exciting! Keep us all updated!

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earthyambitions · 09/01/2017 20:53

Thanks exercisejunkie, it says on the website that they will send info out and then be in touch. Not sure whether to expect a letter, email or a phone call.

Piglizard that's fantastic, how exciting!

RosieTheQueenOfCorona · 10/01/2017 10:35

Piglizard that's so exciting! Do you mind sharing how you've found the process so far?

Earthy ambitions, I got a phone call within a week of my initial query, they sent a pack out in the post and we had a home visit within a couple of weeks. I was so scared/excited when the social worker rang me back I was actually shaking!

A wobble for me at the moment, adopted child would be DC3, my eldest DC has now started saying they don't want another brother/sister. I'm so conscious of the big impact this is going to have on my DC, it's a big ask of them.

earthyambitions · 10/01/2017 18:24

Rosie what did they ask you on the phone? Not sure what to expect!

Piglizard · 10/01/2017 18:45

Rosie - this time has been great. Initially applied 5 years go with a different LA and we're turned down for being overweight. Moved for husband's job and tried again with new LA. Everyone has been fab. Very supportive, weight not an issue. Heard today that social worker of potential sibling group coming to meet us next week. It's been a great experience for us so far!

RosieTheQueenOfCorona · 10/01/2017 19:41

Piglizard that's great to hear!
Earthy the social worker on the phone wanted to know all about who we were and why we were looking to adopt, within five minutes we were happily discussing vasectomies and sperm counts, so it was a bit full on! Also very interested in the fact we have children, had we discussed it with them yet, what sort of age gap would we be looking for. She was very friendly and professional, as were the two social workers who came out for the home visit. Good luck!

earthyambitions · 10/01/2017 20:18

That's really helpful, thanks Smile

Original poster
exercisejunkie · 13/01/2017 07:37

Hi all,

Had the foundation day yesterday, I was really nervous and close friends told me to relax and just see how it goes, in reality I (and others there, felt like we were being watched and observed all day.
I def felt the whole group 8 couples and two single adopters relax and start making a few jokes by lunchtime but overall it was an intense day.
I also realised that the dates I was given at the open evening were for the Feb starters and I actually jumped onto the Jan starters course so all dates are a month ahead of what I had thought.
The lovely thing was that the other single adopter actually lives in my town about 5 mins from me and we clicked well so very excited to have made a new friend who is in the same position of me!
The social worker told me that's why they put me on the Jan start.
Awaiting a call today from the social worker to see if she feels I'm totally ready to do this! She's calling all of us today.

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Piglizard · 13/01/2017 09:11

Fingers crossed!

Original poster
exercisejunkie · 13/01/2017 13:49

Thanks piglizard - just had the call....I officially start stage 1 next Friday!

Question to those who are further down the line, will I ever feel like everything I say is being scrutinised, analysed and checked up on?
I'm probably being a bit over sensitive, yesterday was tough, I just feel a bit like it was a yes.....but!

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RosieTheQueenOfCorona · 13/01/2017 16:08

Congratulations exercisejunkie!

earthyambitions · 14/01/2017 08:53

Thought I'd posted this yesterday but it seems to have vanished! Spoke to someone yesterday and now waiting for a call from another social worker to book the in visit in asap.

earthyambitions · 14/01/2017 08:55

Sorry, congratulations exercisejunkie!! Hopefully we'll be joining you on stage 1 in the next couple of weeks!