Adoption Tearoom - open for business

[MediumPretty]

or maybe a place for me to talk to myself . Not as glamorous as the One Child Families tearoom, just somewhere to have a cyber cuppa and chat.

I went to pick DD (adopted from China) up from school yesterday. Whilst waiting in the playground I got chatting to the grandma of one of her classmates. I find playground chitchat hard work sometimes and I made a lighthearted remark about life since we adopted DD. The perfectly nice Grandma said "it's hard bringing up a child who isn't your own". She said that 30 odd years ago she had fostered two boys for what should have been a few weeks but they stayed with her until adulthood - one was still living at home.

I told her that we think of DD as "our own".

Silence followed then (as the bloody school bell still hadn't gone), I said something inane about enjoying having a daughter and Grandma said "I feel closer to my daughter, than my two sons who are not mine".

She didn't mean any harm with her remarks but it was an insight into how some people view adopted children as somehow less than a birth child and I felt a bit deflated

Just wanted to offload - will nip to M&S for some scones in case any one pops into the tearoom.

Thank you everyone. When I'm living in a cardboard box in the grounds of my dd's school (I'm not giving up that place for anyone) I will appreciate being sent packets of custard creams and lemon drizzle cake.

Issy, looking forward to seeing the media pics of you lamping Mr Maude on my behalf. If you could shriek at the same time, "THIS IS FOR STEALING FOOD FROM THE MOUTHS OF POOR ADOPTED BABIES AND THEIR NOBLE LESBIAN MOTHERS", that would be good too. (Sounds like we might work in similar jobs, by the way.)

hester, so sorry to hear about your redundancy but look on the bright side - now you will be a lesbian mother with adopted children on benefits

Hugs.

Even better, you will be a black lesbian adoptive family. AND your children have different fathers

[spits in the eye of all Tories, not just ministers]

Did i ever tell you,i wemt to a school reunion last year and soemone asked me if all my children had the same father???? I was so shocked i was speechless ( very unusual for me)

Most peoople were askimg the usual polite social questions such as what do you do? Do you still live in X? Do you still see anyone from school ? Etc

In fact, we are just the sort of family that the Daily Mail would like to see the end of. For ever. Which does rather inspire me to carry on .

Kristina, dd2's childminder volunteered first time I met her that her children all have different fathers. Slightly getting-it-in-first, I thought, though she really didn't need to (having 3 kids by 3 different fathers occurs very frequently in my extended family). Actually, it was a big plus for me that her family is not the suburban norm (her kids are dual heritage, as well).

It's very funny when someone thinks they just have the right to ask whatever they're nosey about. I was at how many people - including near-strangers - felt free to enquire about the exact method of conceiving dd1, right down to, "Yes, but did he actually put his penis inside you?"

LOL at penis woman . did you have a good answer for her? the more outrageous the better i think

DD off school today with "headache and feeling sick". She made a miraculous recovery at 10.00 and, as I had errands to run, we went into town and then to the park. A woman said to me "I've been watching your DD, she is so graceful and has remarkable poise". I beamed with pride and said "she doesn't take after me" to which the lady replied "well no, but she has got the right physique"

Put DD in car, set off driving and DD did a projectile vomit all over everything. Lovely.

Daisy how was your DS's week at school? Only three more to go!

DD was better by Sunday THANK YOU ALL FOR ASKING!

This tearoom feels like the adopted Marie Celeste of the Tearooms - where are all the people who were scoffing the free cakes when we first opened?

Have popped in to seek refuge from the 'real' parents thread in AIBU and find no-ones put the coffee on and the biscuit barrell is empty.

I stepped off the 'real parents' thread when someone said 'well if you work and put your child into childcare....' can you guess the rest?

Glad your DD is better mediumpretty ! We have to start looking at schools for ds soon. So weird, he won't go til next Autumn.

"Some of us pretend that we have real lives and are doing really useful things "

I know, I know, I keep meaning to go in search of that life I used to have! I don't post much on MN but I realised I was spending too much time on it when I was chatting to a person in real life and almost referred to DD as "DD" .

Hello everyone, I'm new here so just trying to find my way. Good to see there is so much chatter in the tearoom. Great idea mediumpretty and thanks for starting it.
We are going to be dropped in the deep end with regards to school and the like as we are adopting DD (6) and DS (4), so both at school in Sept. School have been fantastic about our rapid entry onto the waiting lists and stuff so that seems positive so far. Will let you know more when there's more to know.

Oops forgot to mention that I brought in some home made flapjack and fruit scones. Don't scoff them all at once!!!

Coming soon, would rather not give exact dates in case birth mother is watching the wires. Before school restarts is probably as close as I can get.

I think that you can probably rely upon the excessive fare available in the onlies-tearoom to supply you here - so if your biscuit barrel is empty, stick it through the hatch and someone will fill it up for you.

Ds learned, age 3, to use a bowl in the car - so much less horrid than being stripped on the side of the A1 (or any of the other many roads where we've had to stop) - much easier on the car too. School were rather the first time I rang up to say I was going to be late because we'd had to do a U turn and drive home again - but when they heard we'd been to teh Dr about it they were OK letting him back in (and he's clearly fine 5 mins after the event). Have also had to apologise about their front step one morning Didn't really have a chance poor mite - with both parents getting travel sick!

there have been a number of threads that I've stepped away from recently

Maryz - I absolutely hate people using 'sperm donor' as an insult! And 'egg donor' for that matter. It really annoys me, since I know two actual real donors, and they are wonderful unselfish people, who don't deserve to be demeaned like that!

Exciting times Timster Congratulations! And thanks for the scones

I am not even going to look a that 'absent fathers' thread. I agree again with May. As much as it stinks if your childs father ups and leaves, it doesn't take the moon to try and describe the positive things about him to your child, and to to not slam down a load of useless insults - the child takes their self image from both of their parents, not just the mother!

Oh I like teh "real" parents thread Don;t ask me why - don;t feel particularly engaged therefore not upset but up for a bit of an argument - funny how you feel personally involved in the put downs on some threads and not others?

But my "real" news of the day was DS's first ever school report

Have cried about four times so far in fact every time I reread it!

DS kept saying to me "Muuuu-uuumm, this is so boring" everytime I blubbed again and hugged him and said "I'm so proud" [wail]

Why so blubby - well silly really but you lot might understand... it sooo normal! I was so surprised! After brushing up on my A levels statistics to understand the damn thing... more experienced parents can correct me if I'm wrong but basically they're scored in 13 areas on 0-9 with 6 being the minimum expected attainment. DS got 6 7's, 5 8's & 2 9's. Thats seems about normal to me - yes? [slightly anxious emoticon in case I've misunderstood]

Teacher commented about the change in the very shy boy who arrived who is now a "role model" in class [sniff] and how proud she is of him.

Of course I know they say nice things about all the children but I don't care, allow me my moment of delusion! I am so proud of him - he is such a champ and I so want to make his life turn out the way he deserves but know how helpless I am (and we all are) really to make it that way.

Kew - how wonderful Well done DS

Oh, he is a champion little boy, kew!