Nice new corner! Come and chat!

[NeverEverAnythingEver]

We have our new board! Calling all cademics/aspiring academics/fed-up academics - come and chat!

I need a better academic username.

Anyway, I've been in presentation writing mode today too - I've created a research talk out of a conference presentation on one aspect of a topic plus a conference poster on an earlier phase of a project on another aspect of the topic. I found a really embarrassing mistake on the first one (think "positive" for "negative"), I'm guessing I talked my way out of it when I gave the conference talk and then blanked it out!

I need to put in the later (not final because it's not finished yet) data from the 2nd part and I hope it's not going to end up too long. I am dreadful for thinking I can cram too much in. Just ask my students...

I've just decided to use the above name (see my post immediately previous) - part time academic, part time parent...

Presentation writing going stormingly, have nearly finished and found all the data files on our shared data space (faint). It will probably still be too long.

Off to a time sucking meeting just now, I wanted to catch up with a colleague later whose DC has just started school but apparently she's picking up the DC from school. How I detest people with perfect DCs that allow them to work while they are in the house (I'm 99% sure that's her plan).

Still putting off the "please do your job as an editor" email for the 3rd R&R.

Oh yes saw that... trying to such feelings at bay when the mass email has gone out congratulating my peer who also had viva same day as me, who passed with tiny corrections... Obviously my 'keep on slogging' result isn't publicly announced :/

Ah thanks Buffy like it. And you're absolutely right, which is why that article chimed.
Ok, well.... I may not have passed my PhD just yet but I am a pretty decent communicator (interviewing different people, conference small talk) and don't give up easily. How about you ? :)

Just looked at the editor's letter from the Paper Of Three R&Rs more closely. It complains that I didn't address all the points of the reviewers properly last time.

One reviewer also complained last time that my references weren't in the right format. I checked about 75 times and asked if any that weren't, could be pointed out so I knew where to look. No such indication in the editor's or reviewers' comments. It seems to be one of those "well if YOU can't spot it I'M not going to tell you", like when someone tells you there's a spot on your face but won't tell you where and then sniggers. Or some kind of weird initiation test. One of the reviewers also suggested I "might need an academic editor" (not even really sure what one of them is, I think it might be something for people who don't speak English as a first language? maybe?) as there were "multiple grammatical errors" but didn't point out a single one.

I think I'll be writing a rude note to the editor and sending it elsewhere. I don't see the point in doing some of the edits and then saying I'm not doing the rest, if they are only going to complain I didn't do them all.

Argh! Why can't students just follow instructions? Not difficult things to do! I'm completely flummoxed by the blatant ignoring of instructions - I'm guessing the students must have not actually checked the assignment again, just remembered vaguely what it was about and handed in it? But then, why??

(rant over)

In our experience, instructions that say "Don't do this" most students hear as "Do this", and instructions that say "Do this" they hear "Blah blah blah".

Having said that there are spectacularly bad instructions out there. One of the instructions we get for performing annual PG review is completely incomprehensible.

never, yes, I've actually heard that there is research on that "Don't do" turning into "Do"?

Just got a tiny ego boost. Reading background papers for a planned grant moving into a new-ish area for me, and turns out they referenced me! :) So maybe not so crazy for me to trying to do this stuff...

And now they've cited the fellow I asked to collaborate with me on the project. This is making me ridiculously over-optimistic for the chances of this getting funded...but I could use some hope in my life at the moment (thinking I can list the author of this paper as a potential referee at least).

:) murmur.

Always nice to be cited!

Any scientific academics out there. I have to give a 10 minute presentation at an interview next week following a very long career break. I need some help with interpretation and content ie I'm not really sure what they are asking for. Please can I pm any of you for some help?

Fine to pm me, You have the benefit of my many mistakes hard learnt.

Medschoolrat, thank you for your kind offer. I have sent you a PM although I suspect it is a bit garbled. Hopefully you can make some sense of it.

Just said no to something. This is really hard, why do I feel so bad? Someone asking for short-turn around second marking next week, but I'm in meetings or teaching nearly constantly on the dates he needs it. So really can't. Yet feel like I should (especially as I'm one of the few with appropriate expertise).

I've been signed off sick with low mood.
I've been off for a week and am seeing a counsellor in the next couple of days.
To be honest the issues are mainly at work, and with not sleeping, so I'm not quite sure how I feel about going back to work.
I do think it's all been piling up for a while, having been back for about 6months after DC2. But it's not exactly an environment designed to bolster self esteem. I'm struggling to see how I can operate as an academic with the environment the way it is in our department/universities in general.

I've had this before - around a stressful/sad time - but not for ages.

worstofbothworlds

worst

A friend of mine recently shared this. It's about the student experience, but it doesn't end there, does it? The whole culture of academia is very narrowly focused.

Unexpected consequences of Athena SWAN: I have an event for the first year students where a panel of staff members answers questions, etc. My one woman pulled out due to an emergency, and so I was left with all men. I've spent the last week trying to find a woman to replace her, as I wanted to try to present a more diverse outlook to beginning students that women would be in the category of 'faculty', too. I mean, I know they have me, but I thought a panel should include both genders if possible. Unfortunately, it appears it is not possible... After about six no's from the most engaged, outgoing women on staff one of them let me know she couldn't come because she had the Athena SWAN committee meeting at that time. Well, that got rid of most of my pool of potentials! Now it's tomorrow, and it doesn't look like I'll find a woman to join. Oh well, I'm sure the event will go fine and the students are unlikely to notice. But I was hoping to not encourage the subliminal message that faculty=men. At least they'll be told she couldn't come, so will hear a female name.

Sorry to hear that worstofbothworlds. If it's any help, I feel like I am in a constant dipping down and then back up again. No matter how many external validations, the imposter syndrome rears its ugly head again.

Today I'm struggling to keep my eyes open from tiredness. I've taken on a commitment to write a grant application that my HoD basically forced me to take on against my better judgement. All the co-Is are older blokes, who leave me (at the softer end of our hard-edged field) feeling completely out of my depth. I feel like I'm drowning at the moment. HoD's taken on writing something like a first draft over the weekend, so I'm not entirely on my own, but I genuinely don't know how I'm meant to write this thing, especially as it entails working with people from all sorts of allied fields I know nothing about.

To cap it all, I'm due to be in hospital for some minor check-up on the submission date and have had to declare this to HoD. I know he thinks I'm a feeble woman who can't take the strain and now I've given him proof. So much for my plan to remind him of the promised pay rise a year ago.

When do you get the strength to believe in the external approval of your work? Even though I know in my heart of hearts I'm a good teacher and a good researcher, I still fear I'm going to be found out one of these days.

I don't know how you believe in external validation. I think it helps. I also think it helps if people around you treat you like you are good. A few of my colleagues have started doing that (or I've only just noticed ) and it made me feel as if I have actually achieved something. I am certainly trying my best to be encouraging to people who are starting on the careers too. It's micro-affirmation which I think is effective. I can't find the article about it now but if you google you'll find some writings on it ...