Nice new corner! Come and chat!

[NeverEverAnythingEver]

We have our new board! Calling all cademics/aspiring academics/fed-up academics - come and chat!

I like that idea of micro-affirmation NeverEverAnythingEver. It's like accumulating positivity. Perhaps that's what's lacking for me: though I get plenty of affirmation from my students and research staff, colleagues senior to me rarely say anything positive about my work. It's sort of taken for granted that your article being published or whatever is something you will be pleased about, so why say well done? As you get more senior it gets rarer still. I suppose I'm supposed to by now have accumulated enough self-esteem to not need it.

p.s. I found this article, in the context of advising students: dus.psu.edu/mentor/2013/10/839/.

Am I too far gone if I find myself thinking how can I pay attention to external validation if there is none?

My grants keep getting rejected. I have had papers published, but after 2-3 rejections. I ended up on the bottom of our workload, despite feeling like I am doing my absolute max. I'm getting constant criticism about how I run first year, mostly from people trying to have us lower the budget for paying postgrads for marking, running tutorials, etc, even though I was told to use the postgrads more and have more small-group teaching, etc. Guess no one realised it would cost money... I feel like there's no part of my academic activity that actually gets any validation.

I think that's how I'm feeling murmuration.

Also, I don't get much internal validation either. I am not mumsy enough to my students to get much validation from them, plus a huge student crisis (which honestly the students aren't blaming me for) has partly led to this, for want of a better word, breakdown. I get nothing but moaning/jobsworth from colleagues who I don't work directly with (i.e. who don't share my research interests) and those who do can make all the noises you like about how interesting my research is but if nobody will fun or publish it, it's not a lot of use.

Hi Buffy - that's an interesting piece. In my case I don't get negativity from peers and senior colleagues in that nasty sniping way. It's simply a lack of positive feedback that wears me down. Just thinking back to my last annual review: after going through my long list of research achievements in the last year my HoD said: "right, I can see there are no issues on the research front. Here's what I think you should be doing on the management front"

I have been absent due to marking craziness.

I am being cheeky but I wondered whether anyone could help here. I am looking for some useful sources for publically accessible quali data for a student's project. I am psychology based so something health/mental health related. I am not keen to go down the route of analysing publically available forum posts as that is additional ethical issues (e..g informed consent). I am aware of Qualidata and the UK Data Archive. Is there anything else?

I am having trouble finding a suitable project and this student needs help! I have suggested first person narratives in books and also newspapers but less keen.

THanks for reading and any help you might be able to offer.

That all feels rather identifying but I don't think it is too bad. I could be anywhere in the country!

Purple, how about mental health related personal blogs? There are quite a few, and you could get written consent via email from them before proceeding?

Hello - 3rd year PhD student here! Ironically enough given the current theme of the conversation I came on here to ask for advice because I feel that my supervisors have absolutely no faith in my ability to finish when I intend to, which is in turn making me lose my own confidence...

Well, I'd like to hand in at the end of or just after the end of this academic year (so bang on three years). I have about 30-40% of the thesis written but I had a hugely busy first two years (teaching, extra training, organising conferences, etc) and have now cut down significantly so I pretty much just have my thesis to concentrate on. I'm pretty determined to finish within the time I've set for myself and have a clear sense of how I want to do this. (I'm a "write a complete draft then re-draft holistically" sort of girl).

It's a complicated situation and I don't want to go into too many details as it would make me pretty out-able, but essentially it feels as if my supervisors just don't think I can do it but also aren't willing to come out and say it. They keep questioning my chosen approach and indeed are tying them taking a particular and quite important action to me changing my writing approach.

It feels very frustrating because both my uni and my funding body are very keen on 3-year completion, but the faculty I'm in is much more used to 4 years (with a final unfunded year, of course...) being the norm, and so everyone just seems to suck their teeth when I say I'm aiming for 3. I also completely and utterly appreciate my supervisors' comments on the content and approach of my thesis but I feel as if I'm big enough and ugly enough to manage the writing process myself.

I don't know. Even if they think I'm going to crash and burn, I feel I would be more likely to succeed if they just once articulated the sentiment of "you go for it!" rather than "oooh, well..."

Also, is the Dark Phase a common thing? Is it likely I'd be feeling rubbish and terrified at this stage regardless?

I had a nightmare about my external examiner recently, FGS.

Hovis, another 3rd year here!

I would say it's a normal stage. I don't know what happens to supervisors when you enter the 3rd year. Suddenly they start being really critical. I'm now quite used to my supervisor being very critical and having little faith in me.

My advice would be to make it clear to them that you can't afford to (financially) go over 3 years. I suppose you probably want to convince then because you need feedback from then on you work? Could you organise more regular supervisions? I believe if you aim to finish at 2 years 9 months, you'll probably finish by 3 years. In our department it really varies, we had 1 student who finished just before the end of 3 years, and another who is in his 6th year.

I'm not sure why supervisors think it's 'normal' to do 4 years when we only have funding for 3 years! How do they expect people to live? But I recently learnt that our department gives funded extensions over 3 years, so maybe that's the reason for supervisors thinking that - who knows!

In our department we are always careful about how much funding a student has. If they have to finish in 3 years we try to get them there, however painful it might be. In our area it's more usual to finish in 4 years (but ideally longer but usually not possible). But it has happen before that people finish before 3 years.

I do think that the Dark Phase is a real thing, even though I'm still trying to wipe it from my memory...

Have your read the thesis whisper's "the valley of shit" blog post? I found that so comforting. I'm not the best person to ask about time limits/time spans mine has taken forever, especially as I had to take leave for am bit

Hahaha, thankyou everyone. The Thesis Whisperer's "valley of shit" is very, very true.

Buffy - I see what you mean about drawing on your own resources! I'm very fortunate in that my DH is a few years ahead of me, so has been through this all and is great at providing support. But I guess what I find distressing is that it seems a bit like I'm being a bizarrely well-behaved teenager wanting to stay in doing her homework and lots of staff in my faculty are side-eyeing me and going "get out and get drunk!" I had faith in my finishing plans until lots of people started going "three years?! really?!"

On the upside, I had a good chat with one of my supervisors this morning and it was very helpful. They explained that from the POV of my supervisorial team they just want to be sure I'm 'not just writing an ordinary PhD thesis' (!) so I think that's where their concern about my unusual (for my faculty) haste is coming from.

The funding thing is weird. I think my faculty has a fair number of self-funders so maybe that's why they don't think about it as much.

Buffy

Your thesis sounds like it was amazing. Did you do the thing with the alternate-universe conclusion in the end? I would love to read that!

I have about 30-40% of the thesis written but I had a hugely busy first two years (teaching, extra training, organising conferences, etc) and have now cut down significantly so I pretty much just have my thesis to concentrate on

Well, you know, TBH I'd be another supervisor who would be raising an eyebrow at this plan. I get mine to aim for a rough first draft - all chapters drafted, but probably not the Intro & conclusion - by the Christmas of their third year, so you're not quite at that point.

It's tricky - you might want to consider what's better/worse. Getting it in in 3 years & risking a "Revise & Resubmit" evaluation, which may be what your supervisors are concerned about? Or giving yourself 6 months' breathing space and getting just corrections in examination?

They keep questioning my chosen approach and indeed are tying them taking a particular and quite important action to me changing my writing approach

this is the supervisors' job - don't take it personally! But you know what "independent research" is? It's taking full & final responsibility for your own work, being able (eventually) to judge its quality, and not needing your supervisors' approval.

I don't know what happens to supervisors when you enter the 3rd year. Suddenly they start being really critical. I'm now quite used to my supervisor being very critical and having little faith in me

OK, here's what's going through my head - it could be any of these thoughts:

• This person needs to start to take responsibility
• This person needs to stop seeking my approval
• This person needs to start making her own judgements & timetable
• This person needs to stop taking my comments personally
• This person needs to be independent & confident enough to face her viva and do the corrections required and start to prepare material for publication and start to develop a post-doc project and look for jobs

I say all this to my students as we go into the 3rd year.

Technically, once the PhD is awarded, this person is qualified to suypervise her own PhD candidates.

So ... I'm then thinking that:
I need to help this person to become robust & resilient enough that they won't take my increasingly demanding & detailed comments as personal criticism.

In earlier years, I am concerned to help build a candidate's confidence. So I am gentler with comments and criticisms.

But Year 3 is crunch time. I will be blunt & direct about failings in the thinking & writing. I will also identify what's working and suggest the things that are working are developed.

If you came to me with the response that my criticisms mean I have "lost faith" in you, I'm afraid I'd go back to the discussion above. I will resist you infantilising yourself - I am not your mother!