Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

OK - it's the daily Mail so no wonder it's Judgy - Coleen Rooney

234 replies

DuelingFanjo · 13/11/2009 10:33

out gigging and drinking 9 days after the birth

Is it wrong to be a little bit or mean to be even slightly judgy?

Or perhaps it should be more 'bloody good for her' ?

OP posts:
Portofino · 21/11/2009 17:54

Um she went a concert! With her friends! And even if she went to some cleb bash what has that got to do with anything? Like vinegar says no difference to baby if she had gone to ikea or out with take that!

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 21/11/2009 17:56

Posie Parker, can you please explain why it is wrong/harmful/damaging/chavvy/sluttish/whatever to be out without baby on day 9?

I truly can't see your point.

Portofino · 21/11/2009 17:57

And how can you possibly know she was trying to make a point? YOU need to get out more by the sounds of it!

MoreCrackThanHarlem · 21/11/2009 17:59

And Vinegar Tits, first Ikea and now a night out?
Have you no concern for your ds's future mental health? Tsk.

Lulumama · 21/11/2009 18:09

i thought she had a VB not a c.s?

anyway, good on her, she looks great, she is a young woman and all this sanctimonious crap about going out when the baby is 9 days old is absolutely bullshit.

don't see anyone berating wayne rooney for playing footie the day after the birth

some women want to stay at home in jamas, and co sleep , breastfeed, not go out

some can't wait to get their heels and slap on and totter out to see friends/go to beyonce/go to ikea ( although that last one i really can\t understand )

the implication she , or anyone else who goes out without their newborn is somehow a lesser mother or is neglectful is disgusting

some women have no choice but to go out when thier babies are tiny.. is it ok to do the school/nursery run without a newborn, but not to go to a concert looking good?

our society is not set up for staying in for weeks , not moving and staring at your baby.

at what point is it ok to go out without your baby? 21 days? 46 days? 123 days?

the disgust should be saved for truly neglectgful abusive mothers

am appalled at some of the opinions expressed on this thread

Portofino · 21/11/2009 18:09

I just mentioned this thread to dh ( not the most empathic of chaps, and currently busy watching the other rooney earn some cash). His response: what business is it of theirs? She's carried that baby for 9 months- surely she deserves a break?

scottishmummy · 21/11/2009 18:17

tbh article is complimentary of her,not disaparaging. good on her!

scottishmummy · 21/11/2009 18:20

coleen had better hope the precious moments mamas dont turn up tutting it is terrible she is not within feet of her baby or carrying the umbilical cord as a memento of her goddess status

roneef · 21/11/2009 18:28

PosieParker and Greenmonkies: Shocked at your prehistoric views.

I had a my first dc on my 23rd Birthday. Breatfed.

Co slept.

Lost all my baby weight within 2 weeks. Me and my size 8 jeans went out without baby at 2 weeks. He stayed with his dad. Expressed.

I bet you hate me

Had sex 1 week post c section after all my childrens births.

roneef · 21/11/2009 18:30

By the way did NO HOUSEWORK whatsoever for 40 days. It's a cultural norm.

noddyholder · 21/11/2009 18:33

what point could she have been trying to make?Apart from a positive one that just because you have had a baby life doesn't stop!

scottishmummy · 21/11/2009 18:35

she had a baby that doesn't justify house arrest or derision for going out.this draconian notion that when motherhood descends one must eschew previous pleasures is nonsense

being a mum isnt a giving things up competition

spookycharlotte121 · 21/11/2009 18:42

wow cant believe some people are being so judgy!!!

She didnt go out on the razz.... she went to a beyonce concert followed by drinks at a bar. sounds like quite a civilised evening to me.

whats the problem... the baby is very easy going and I expect it did her the world of good to get out with her mates and have a break from changing nappies... sounds like she is very hands on when she is at home so Im sure the grandparents relished the oppertunity to have their beautiful grandson all to themselves.

I went to an ann summers party about 12 days after ds was born.... ok i spent the whole night sniffing his baby grow i had stashed in my bag and calling home to check he was ok but in reality it was so nice to be me again and have a giggle with the girls.

scottishmummy · 21/11/2009 18:47

some of you need to revisit attachment theory.a few hours out will not disrupt bonding and attachment.attachment comes from positive regard,consistency,and affirmation. a few hours out with her mates wont disrupt their bonding.

being a mum isnt s giving things up competition
don't go out
no alcohol
mumsy clothes
...all because you had a baby.

GreenMonkies · 21/11/2009 18:50

noddyholder no, life doesn't stop, but it does change and it should change, and this is the point. She is perpetuating the myth that after you have a baby you can pretend you haven't and carry on like you did before. This may only be one night out, but it sets a precedent. If your baby is inconvenient, just dump him on the grandies, and whoop it up....

From a clinical point of view, 9 days post-partum is not the time to be out drinking and dancing (which she does refer to in one of the newspapers, being tipsy and dancing her legs off), your joints are not yet tightening so you risk hurting yourself and you do risk triggering a PPH (thats a really big scary, potentially fatal bleed) as your uterus won't be fully healed yet. No matter how good you may look or feel, your body is not yet recovered from childbirth, no matter how young you are or how easy your birth was.

This isn't a prehistoric point of view, this is a practical one.

And also, two weeks post-partum is different to 9 days, 9 days is barely over a week, a fortnight is 5 days later than this. And in this 5 days is enough to make a difference. I felt very different 14 days after giving birth than I did a week/9 days after. All this "I went out when DC was two weeks old" is fine, not something I would do, I was still too sore and too tired (stitches both times) to be tripping the light fantastic, but I started expressing at day 3 both times, both girls would take bottles from about two weeks of age and I could, if I wanted (and did for trips to the shops etc) leave my babies with their dad for an hour or so at a time from when they were about a month old. But a couple of hours when your baby is a few weeks old is very different to a long evening (concert followed by drinks/dancing til 2am)away from your baby slightly over a week after you gave birth.

Bonsoir · 21/11/2009 18:50

People have very different concepts of what constitutes successful attachment and bonding, though.

I was at a party this afternoon, talking parents from multiple cultures while the children partied. My gosh the concept of being a good enough, bonded parent varies a lot...

scottishmummy · 21/11/2009 18:56

right now i think good enough mother is a good starting point.

Defluffmyfanjo · 21/11/2009 18:57

HAVE TO LEAVE THREAD, TEMPTATION TO SWEAR AT GREENMONKIES BECOMING OVERWHELMING.

Bonsoir · 21/11/2009 18:59

I agree, good enough parent is a good starting point.

How about the mother who claims she is very maternal and backs that claim up with the fact that she has 24/7 nanny cover (eg 3 nannies) so her children are always taken care of

Lulumama · 21/11/2009 19:02

fine, it's not something you would do ,but lots of women do

surely it is as much of a health risk - DVT, depression, if you don't move from the sofa or house for 2 + weeks?

i hear what you are saying, but the implication she has 'forgotten' she is a mother and that any mother who does this is wrong/bad /neglectful is simply hateful

i felt awful post DS , i had a section and frankly would have been happy never to go out again, DD was a VBAC and when she was 48 hours old, we all went out for dinner and had a great time. i felt like shite the next day, but i wanted to go out and it was lovely

is it ok to go out with your newborn?

what about the dads who go back to work? i.e wayne rooney who went off to work the next day

surely he has to bond??

scottishmummy · 21/11/2009 19:05

motherhood is not all fulfilling euphoric idyll,it compliments your pre-baby life.you need something for yourself too.

this i-am-woman-i-am earth-mother-goddess who can not must not be apart from her baby is risible

Bonsoir · 21/11/2009 19:07

Why risible? You can do a lot of things with one baby in tow. I took baby DD everywhere, and she had a much more exciting, mind broadening life than if she had stayed home with a nanny (or been confined to the four walls of a nursery).

scottishmummy · 21/11/2009 19:08

LOL babies confined in nursery? bet they have seclusion room too

Bonsoir · 21/11/2009 19:09

Nurseries are convenient for parents but very monotonous for babies versus getting out and about in the world.

scottishmummy · 21/11/2009 19:10

coleen looks very pretty in the pictures