OK - it's the daily Mail so no wonder it's Judgy - Coleen Rooney

[DuelingFanjo]

out gigging and drinking 9 days after the birth

Is it wrong to be a little bit or mean to be even slightly judgy?

Or perhaps it should be more 'bloody good for her' ?

good on the lass.

I was quite judgy when I first read about this. But after reading through this thread I think perhaps I was a bit harsh and jealous. Nine days after my baby I was leaking from every orifice and lying in ecruciating pain from the very attractive ailment of piles (bloody painful). I also forgot how young she is so yes she probably bounced back from birth much quicker.

I personally would not have wanted to go out for so long but then I don't want to do that anyway babies or no babies.

But there is an evil pleasure in being judgy about celebs in a way I wouldn't be about frients. Its the sick evil jealosy that resides in me

I bet my bottom dollar she isn't breastfeeding. And if her parents are keen to help and she wants to go out then fair enough.

I couldn't leave my newborn, but I was probably a bit obsessed. I not sure which is the healthier attitude, and I'm not sure if it matters in the long run anyway...

It's a funny thing, really, but it is so different for everyone. I stopped bleeding four days after, and started feeding expressed milk occassionally at 11 days. I did leave DD with my mom in the guest room one night in her second week, because I just needed a good night's sleep, but ended up 'collecting' her again at 4am when my breasts hurt! lol

I went in to labour on my 30th birthday, so cancelled the celebrations and had them instead when she was 6 weeks old. I managed to stay out for 5 hours and only phoned home once. But then I left her with my sister who has been working as a nanny for 11 years and totally dotes on DD, and I had total confidance in. I did manage to leak breast milk though

We're all different, and our circumstances are different, so I don't think it's fair to judge each other. And I don't really care what CR does - she has no baring on my life - but I do agree that it's not really fair to expect others to be up and about, out the house and at baby massage classes etc 2 days after birth as I was, nor is it fair to expect everyone to be 'back to normal' so soon. I know I've had friends who've been blubbering messes for months after. We're all different and we deal with it differently, so it's natural we'll have different oppinions, I guess?

ROFL at the 'professionals' advice about 'not expressing at 9 days'. Dearie me, if you were such a 'natural born mother' (whatever the hell that phrase means chattermouse) then perhaps you'd have had the confidence to follow your own instincts. It's perfectly possible to express without upsetting the milk supply.

As for chattermouse's point about judging being a good thing which we all do every day, well yes, of course it's sensible to make a judgement about whether it's good to wear a raincoat or a bikini to go out in a force 9 gale, or whether to revise for an exam rather than wing it. It doesn't mean it's a good thing to make a judgement from a photo of someone who you don't even know having an evening out.

Oh and by the way chatter - I don't say that going to a gig was a more important concern than my firstborn chattermouse - I said I adored my newborn and was on cloud nine, but I also felt remarkably well (straightforward birth and bf established no problems) and was happy to express milk and have an evening out too.

Me thinks there's a lot of jealousy going on here, from women who couldn't get out the front door for a month after giving birth! Of course Colleen has a bigger network of people to help her look good - but so what? Good on her!

By VinegarTits Tue 17-Nov-09 17:03:39
'Yeah, because the area she is from (not far from where I live, so I know it) is renowned for it's classy, caring, breastfeeding, attachment parenting and babymooning for optimal infant-mother bonding and general enlightened parenting. '

i'm from that area thanks! what a nasty bitchy thing to say

By tigerbear Tue 17-Nov-09 18:49:04
Vinegartits - I agree, that's an awful thing to say. It seems that a few people on this thread feel it's ok to put others down, simply because they don't fit into their own oh so perfect moulds of what a real mother should be (and the area those perfect mothers live in - why did you feel you had to say that lovely comment Greenmonkies??).

Ok, to answer you both;

The area you are from is relevant, we tend to do what we see around us. With some exceptions most people follow the behavioural patterns we grow up with. So, speaking in general sociological/anthropological terms Coleen is from a working class/low education/low income background. The social norm (for young mums) in these areas tends to be put baby on the bottle (no attempt to breastfeed) and "get your life back" and leave baby with granny etc and co-sleeping/attachment parenting/breastfeeding is unusual in areas like this.

This is not a bitchy or nasty thing to say, it's the truth. The truth may not always be sweet and lovely, but that doesn't mean it's not the truth all the same.

I think this sums it up;

By lulabellarama Tue 17-Nov-09 15:16:24
My instinct is that it is odd to be happy leaving a 10 day old baby for an entire evening. I can understand having a couple of hours off, but she was out for at least 5 hours.
Personally that seems totally alien.
I also agree that it further perpetuates the myth that we all just snap back to normal after giving birth.

Of course it is entirely her choice, but it doesn't sit right with me.

Well that's the difference in our personalities then Violet. I am intelligent and therefore tend to follow and be guided by evidence, research and best practice .

I reiterate 'Yeah, because the area she is from (not far from where I live, so I know it) is renowned for it's classy, caring, breastfeeding, attachment parenting and babymooning for optimal infant-mother bonding and general enlightened parenting. '

Just because someone chooses to parent differently to you GreenMonkies does not mean that they are not classy or caring or a good mother, your comment is nasty and bitchy and you are looking down your bitchy nose at working class mothers because you my dear are an out and out snob

I don't think there is any jealousy on here.

FWIW, I had a super straightforward birth (I felt much better immediately afterwards) and all the help and support in the world - I didn't have to lift a finger for months afterwards with household chores, and I had babysitting on tap 24/7.

But no way would I have wanted to go out on on the town. I didn't even feel like going to a big city for many months after giving birth - I had a total back-to-nature moment and retreated from society and that was exactly the way I wanted it and felt right to me.

good on her that's what i say. she may only have gone out at 11pm for a few hours while the baby was settled. we do not know.

3 days after i had DD1 i went to the pub. with the baby. stayed all evening. bf at the pub. all my friends came, a great night. i had a straightforward birth, no tearing, i was more than able to go out for the evening. can you imagine what the Daily Myth would have made of that?

When i had my ds2 i was in hosptial for a week with a blood infection, the day i came out i left ds2 with my parents (and a bottle of expressed BM) and went shopping for 4 hours, 4 hours i tell you! i was free, i felt like i had been in prison stuck in that bloody hospital for a week, i went to Ikea and bought some chests of drawers that i badly needed to store baby clothes, i lifted them by myself then went home and constructed them, bonkers!

It probably would have been less stressful and dangerous for me, if i had gone to a concert with my mates

But would you judge me or leaving my ds to go shopping? and lifting heaving boxes? i dont think think so, doesnt make me a bad mother either

Vinegar Tits how very selfish of you.
How could you even think of buying essential items of furniture when clearly you should have been at home staring at your baby

But i was having the time of my life in Ikea....for 4 hours!

If course my ds2 is mentally traumatised but his therapist said he may get over it by the time he is 46

Good on you VinegarTits!

I also shopped, cooked and did all the erm.... normal things that are a part of life after having my babies. So did DH. Weird innit?!

Hoenstly, why would anyone care?

I find it hard to believe anyone really cares if Coleen Rooney breastfeeds or goes out for an evening.

I think it's awful, I couldn't give a shit but as someone posted asking....

I think it's truly dreadful for either parent to be out for a 'night out' when they've just had a baby.

Why though? It's not like the baby was neglected.

It's really shitty to judge, IMO. She looks lovely. I'm sure the baby was just fine.

It's a time for bonding and adjustment.

So because i went shopping for 4 hours i didnt bond with my baby or adjust to parenthood?

What about mothers/babies who are separated for days in hospital due to medical problems - do they not bond either?

9 day old baby who's probably sleeping most of the time anyway, left in the care of loving grandparents for a few hours... nope, can't see the problem.

pmsl ROFFLE i have literally wet myself.

colleen doesn't bond with baby becuase she went on the piss.

give over you nutters

went to pictures last night.
dd's friend came with - she is 16 and has had a baby a couple of months ago.

SIL also came with and said " SHE shouldn't be coming out to the pictures with a baby at home"

WTF?!

you have a baby therefore you are now housebound or have to have it stuck to you like a leech?