Do you assume your dc will go to uni? And will you be disappointed if they don't

[Vegetablespringrolls]

Just wondering as ds1 was adamant he wasn't going to university, then decided he was at the last minute. Ds2 was always planning to go. Dc3 doesn't want to go but he's only in year 11 so plenty of time to decide. Younger 2 probably not able to but you never know.

I've been talking to someone who is assuming their currently primary school aged dc will be going to university. I don't know, it just seems odd to me that you would even think about something that far in advance. I understand saving money for "the future" and we have done that too but university has always been something the dc have chosen or not, it's not something we ever expected them to choose.

I wholeheartedly disagree with your comment about degrees being “pointless”.

Graduates do, on average, earn significantly more over their lifetimes than non graduates:

https://ifs.org.uk/news/average-graduate-can-expect-be-around-ps100k-better-over-their-lifetime-going-university

It does matter what degree you do and where you do it - so economics at an RG uni is likely to be a very good financial decision, philosophy at a lower tier uni, not so much.

University is however about far more than getting a good job. You meet an amazing range of people at uni, often from all over the world. It makes you into a more resilient person who is better able to think independently and analytically, understand complex information and is better able to appreciate and value a range of perspectives. Graduates do also on average have longer life expectancy and generally better health outcomes.

However, it is of course entirely possible to have a fantastic career and a long and healthy life without going to uni. It is just harder. Family support matters a lot I think.

Not everyone should go to uni. However, it is
invaluable for significant numbers.

Not sure about independent thought as the people I know who have been at "uni " lately seem to have quite rigid thinking .it's all about having a " safe space " where nobody will dare disagree with accepted groupthink.

Not rare where I live,
My ds was in an apprenticeship from the age of 17

My dd2 was offered one 2 years ago but turned it down as she wanted to take a different path

quite a few young people have apprenticeships here.

My local council offer apprenticeships both office and trade based

Not many go to university,

Depends on the area surely (we are in Wales)

Didn't expect DS1 to, and he didn't. Thought DD might but she hasn't, and DS2 almost certainly will, he's 17 and it's definitely his plan. They all have very different strengths/interests/goals and as long as they're happy and believe they can achieve those goals, I'm proud regardless of whether or not they have a degree.

I would be surprised if they didn’t. All our family on both sides are university educated so it’s very much seen as just the done thing.

Don’t know if you listen to podcasts but David Runciman on Past, Present, Future is currently talking about the history of the university as an institution and he will be interviewing Kathleen Stock, which I suspect will touch on this idea - free speech, academic and intellectual freedom, and how it’s being degraded in the name of ‘being kind’ in universities in the UK. It’s interesting listening.

No, I didn't expect it of my three. It has to be their choice.

Two of them did go to uni, one didn't. All doing fine now.

With the levels of student debt that are now considered normal, I'd say don't bother going unless you are sure it will be the way into a job.

If you ask my DH - yes and yes.
If you ask me - no and no.

DH had a very strong educational upbringing - private school (in south Africa), UK Uni for BA and Masters. He is an engineer. Apprenticeships and Vocational Training were not a thing when he was at school in SA.

I attempted Uni but dropped out after 2 years as it just wasn't for me. Most of my qualifications post A Levels have been on the job sort of qualifications including my degree and several other things related to my field.

No and no! I want her to be happy and I don’t want her to feel pressured into anything. Tbh, even though I did go to uni, it wasn’t the best experience of my life and I wasn’t that bothered about going but I needed to to train for my job and I did get a job at the end of it

Definitely yes.

I assume all 3 of my children will want to go to uni. The reason I assume this is 1)so we can provide them with an education that gives them the best possible outcome for a uni of their choice, and not being scrambling last minute and 2) so we have enough money saved up for them to go and not get a student loan. Now if they go or not it’s up to them. As long as they have a “plan” so to speak - it can be an apprenticeship or anything doesn’t have to be university. Would I be disappointed? I think I would, insofar as I want them to be able to provide themselves and their children (if they chose to have them) a similar life that we provided them, but also understand that I’m being unreasonable and their lives aren’t for me to manage.

I personally don’t think it’s worth it if you don’t plan to do a job with your uni course at the end of it

I would never assume. University seems to have become the default option these days, a lot of young people shouldn’t be going and it puts huge financial pressure on them and their (less financially well off) parents who regardless of loans etc, have to support them. There is a lot of peer pressure too ‘oh we’re going, you have to come, it’ll be huge fun for three years”.
Thankfully my DD was never interested and joined the Navy two years ago - on a decent wage at 23 with more savings than I ever had at that age.

I always thought they would but not with the cost of it these days.
I went to uni to post grad level, DH also went to uni, most of our friends did though none else in our families I.e parents, siblings.
My eldest is 15 so in GCSE territory and I'd much rather he did an apprentice and got experience and money whilst studying. He's not academic he wants a career in sport so likely will go to college rather than sixth form to pursue sports qualifications - he isn't keen on the idea of university so it's got to be his choice

He's only 5 at the moment, so obviously I have no idea. He likes academic things rather than being sporty/arty/practical so I think he'd enjoy it but you never know what will change.

I wouldn't be disappointed if he didn't go though, as long as he had a plan in place for an alternative. I used to work in IT and plenty of the apprentices I worked with were having a great time and making good money while training. Some of them did regret not going to uni because of the social side their friends were having, that's something I'd make sure my son considered when choosing.

DD1 is in year 11 and yes i assume she will go to university and she wants to. Definitely wants to do A levels. She has always been academic and loved learning and is getting really good marks, so seems like the right thing for her.

DD2 is year 7 and definitely bright enough to plan for university, but I am not assuming she will go and I’m not sure it will be the right thing for her either. She is a lot more practical, loves animals especially horses and is more chilled and less competitive than her sister. She may of course decide to go to university and if that’s what she wants it’s fine with us but I’m not going to push it. If she would rather do a more vocational qualification after school I wouldn’t be disappointed at all.

I assume mine won't go to uni and I'm not encouraging it. If they do want to go, of course I will support them.

They are all bright (top sets etc) but not especially so, and I think they (my boys, daughter still too young to get a sense of what she could do) would be much better going into a trade rather than academic routes. Eldest is home educated and very entrepreneurial and strong worth ethic so it wouldn't surprise me if he ends up setting up his own business. The two other teenage boys both want to go to sixth form but have said about being electricians and plumbers which I think is great

I'm the only university educated member of my family and am the least 'successful'. One of my brothers left school at 16 with a few ok gcses and has a business with 10 staff members and my other brother completed 6th form but now works fairly high up for a major car company.

I’ve lived in both the U.K. and the U.S. and found the U.K. much easier to get hired for administrative and HR jobs without a university degree. In the U.S. it’s almost impossible. I don’t know about other cultures but kids need to be highly educated at university or highly skilled in a trade because they are competing more and more at an international level.

No, my DS did an apprenticeship and is now on £52k, he's 23. His GF did a nursing degree and qualified in the summer with First Class honours, £60k of debt and can't get a job as all new nursing posts have been frozen. She's working in a cafe.

Yes, absolutely. He’s highly academic.

You should be more concerned as to whether your child is fulfilling their full potential rather than how they go about doing it.

Not really, my husband and I both went to Uni so I suppose it was ‘normal’ to us but I was first generation to go and also I think a trade is good to get into. My dad was a builder and did alright although I agree about the physical toll.

Ds (19) is in 3rd year now and doing well, he could never have done a trade really he just isn’t that way inclined.

dd (16) isn’t sure if she wants to go or not, she’s pretty academic but she’s also able in other ways that she might want to utilise.

would never be disappointed in them not going. I would be disappointed if they didn’t go and thought they didn’t have to work or pay their way though. And I’d be disappointed for them if they went to uni and hated it but stuck with it because they didn’t know what else to do.

University is an assumed part of our cultural path. Deviating from that path would be scandalous.

We are paying for everything. Tuition, housing, living expenses. She works part time jobs to get experience and life skills, not to pay the bills.

One did, one didn't. Doesn't make a scrap of difference to me, it's their life.

Nope even though she is doing well at school I’m not expecting anything. It’s her life and she will make her own way