Selfish swines on trains

[Traitor8er]

We're on a train with gcs. Dh's idea. I said it'll be packed. No it won't it's the middle of the day said he.
Yes it's rammed. We got on and dcs said we'll have to stand. I checked and there were 2 people spread over 4 seats. Shifted them sharpish. Eldest 2 sat there. Then another 2 with bags on seats. Yes also shifted. So we all got seats. I was more shocked at those spread over. They weren't massively overweight either. So shocked when I said you have to move.

Have people become even more selfish? I get trains now and again so maybe it's the norm? I'm glad I commute by car.

Yes just chiming in with the young women in priority seats discussion - some Gen Z disability advocates talk about this kind of treatment they receive when sat in priority seats. It boils down to a. it’s not obvious to others they have chronic fatigue, pots, EDS, extreme anemia and various autoimmune conditions (most of which young women suffer at a higher rate than young men) and b. They are an easy target!

It’s the same all round the world. I was watching this video from an East Asian country showing old women and sometimes old men basically attacking the young women on trains by dragging them off priority seats and screaming in their faces etc. They completely ignored the young men in the same seating area.

Yes it's just a continual long carriage- but you can't move along to find a seat because there is just too much luggage everywhere.

Must be regional. Only ever see middle-aged men do this. Young people of both genders always rush for the back of the bus.

I’m a short arse. If I sit in a window seat, some massive prick comes in and squishes me into the corner. Also, I once was in a window seat with someone next to me on the tram and my sock fell down inside my boot. I couldn’t do anything about it for 8 stops and it was really horrific. So I sit in the aisle seat. I always watch for people getting on and offer to move to let them sit in the window. My husband has the opposite issue, he’s tall so window seats are a problem for him.

Entitled pricks take it personal when they are called out in front of others. I absolutely love telling someone to move their bag, my politeness runs out when I can see that they see others loading on like farmhouse cargo and still believe their one ticket equals 2 seats. Move the fuck up and keep your drivel conversation to a decibel lower than a take off fighter jet!

I have sometimes said "shall I move your bag for you?" And put it on the rack or floor.

I believe if they say No, it is OK to sit on it.

Yes people are more selfish nowadays. But people are rude too and I’d prefer to be asked to move than told I had to move. (I don’t need to be asked if I see a person in need of a seat, but if I’m engrossed in a book and don’t realise etc, bit different).

I’m glad I don’t commute anymore to be honest. It was bad enough back then.

Yeah it’s just polite to ask. No point coming in all aggressive or taking it upon yourself to move their bag unless they’ve refused. It’s just unnecessary unpleasantness when people act like that.

Exactly and that’s no better than the selfish behavior in the first place.

I don't think they meant dcs. Young as in 20s plus?

Genuine question...what's horrific about a sock falling down inside your boot? I mean I get that it could be uncomfortable but nothing that can't be endured for eight tram stops. What am I missing?

I was wondering that.

We were stuck on a train abroad for several hours recently. We asked a woman and her daughter to move their cases (taking two seats of four). They put one on top of the other. We asked again and they refused. The train was rammed. Even the aisles were full of standing passengers. Several people asked them too (in their own language) and they just shrugged/refused. I was very uncomfortable sitting with them and offered my seat to different people. Mother was around 50, daughter late 20s ...... There were no staff around - think they were dealing with whatever had caused the cancellations of all the other trains.

What about Mums with little kids? And yes , it normally is Mums.
Was on underground yesterday and a black woman got on and put her son aged about 7 on her knee. He was perfectly happy. ✅
On the way back , a middle class white Mum gets on with 2 girls aged perhaps 5 and 3. She puts them on a seat each. Does not move them when the train fills up. She’s too busy ‘educating’ them about how many stops to go and making sure they are having a positive experience.
I felt very old and grumpy! 😖

I have to say, of all the demographics, young men (late teens/early 20s) seem to be by far the most proactive in offering seats to people who they see in the elderly bracket.

My DH (mid 60s) has been offered a seat by young men but he doesn't accept it because he's got no issues standing.

I was offered a seat on a rush hour tube train by a young man last year. I'm not often in London and it tires me out when I have to go there as I always have work stuff and an overnight case to lug about and I find the navigation and the general pace exhausting, so I was glad to take the seat, but it did make me think that to him, I, in my fifties, am 'elderly' 😧

But I have seen on trains in various parts of the country, young men offering seats to older men and women.

Mhmm what in my post made you think of children?

The kids are perfectly entitled to have a seat. It was a good deed of the first mum, but it shouldn’t be expected. If I were the second mum, on balance, I’d have probably put the youngest one on my lap but I see nothing wrong with the fact this mum didn’t choose to do so.

What’s the rules on kids under 5s on laps?Does anyone know?

I couldn’t really see anything when I did a quick google!

But I’d have thought under 5s are not entitled to a seat if a train is packed given they travel free and in most cases can be easily accommodated.

If that’s not the rule it should be!

I’ve seen this too and was never sure of the rules around it. I wouldn’t necessarily expect a 7 year old to be on a lap but I would expect an under 5.

I did a bit more digging and got this from AI summary of TfL Instagram “TfL etiquette guidelines and general transit courtesy dictate that if a fare-paying passenger or someone in greater need (such as an elderly, pregnant, or disabled passenger) requires a seat, children traveling for free should be moved to an adult's lap”

Not sure how accurate this is or if it’s classed as an actual rule but it’s a guideline at least.

You're the exact type of person this thread is about. "Engrossed in a work emergency on my phone so I was busying typing"...so yeah fuck everybody else.

Dgc who's under 5 sat on dh's knee. They were happy with that as could see out easier.

On a busy bus in Edinburgh we went upstairs. Me. Dh and ds10. One lad about 20 offered me his seat .
Early 50's so assumed well mannered not necessarily because im old !
His mate offered his up for ds but I said he was quite OK perched on my knee.
My dm always expected me to stand up ot sit on her knee if an adult was workout a seat. Age not relevant.
I've expected my dc to follow with that.

I hate sitting on the window seat in any mode of public transport as it makes me feel trapped. I have no problem letting people in to the window seat though.

Thanks for consulting AI @Parsleybutes.
I’ve just been discussing with 3 friends what would have happened if I had tapped the Mum on the shoulder and asked her to get the children to share. We could not decide.
Is there anyone on here who thinks the Mum was in the right , who can say what they would do if another passenger asked them to put their children on one seat?
I was honestly too cowardly to try it. One thing’s certain. All the other passengers would have continued staring at their phones. 😆

Quite recently I asked a girl to let me sit down ( her bag was on the seat near the window) .She said “No, my bags there “. I replied “ You can move it then cant you?”. She shifted slightly and I thought she was going to move it and shuffle across but she was too slow..and I accidentally half sat on her! It genuinely wasn’t deliberate but boy did she move then!!