Selfish swines on trains

[Traitor8er]

We're on a train with gcs. Dh's idea. I said it'll be packed. No it won't it's the middle of the day said he.
Yes it's rammed. We got on and dcs said we'll have to stand. I checked and there were 2 people spread over 4 seats. Shifted them sharpish. Eldest 2 sat there. Then another 2 with bags on seats. Yes also shifted. So we all got seats. I was more shocked at those spread over. They weren't massively overweight either. So shocked when I said you have to move.

Have people become even more selfish? I get trains now and again so maybe it's the norm? I'm glad I commute by car.

I picked one up a few years ago (thankfully only the one bugger) - they do exist! That was on the Victoria line.

When I was very pregnant with my DS , this was 1999, DH and I watched a tube train pull up . Two young men were in the Priority Seats , larking about , leaning forward , laughing .
I got on ( my belly got on first ) , these two blokes were now pretending to be fast asleep , heads back , eyes shut .
I said to one "Can I have this seat , thank you"
He did shift but obviously these two (pricks) decided this was a laugh .

A couple of months back , DH,DD and I got on the train, . DD and DH get hip pain after a while walking . DH got a seat , DD and I walked down a bit . There was a young man (not priority seat) with his bag on a seat . No attempt to move it .
I just asked "Can you move your bag" (I omitted any please/thank you , this rude git didn;t deserve it ) and got DD to sit . He glared at me .
I am the oldest out of the three of us !

Guess what? You don't get to make the rules! You said yourself your rarely use public transport whereas I've spent £75,000+ on train tickets in my working life. If I want to put on a seat I will do, and if you ask me to move it because you want to sit down I'll do that too.

I deliberately ask to sit on a seat if someone has a bag on it even if there are other seats available. It really really annoys me.

I know lots of people are selfish knobs but I’m in London this week for work. I’ve got a walking stick for extra security as I’m just out of a walking boot after a fracture and feeling a bit nervous and vulnerable. I’ve been offered a seat on every single train I’ve been on - so 6 or 7times a day. I’ve been really pleasantly surprised. I refused the offer from a young woman in the accessible seats as she was wearing a baby on board badge, so the man next to her then stood up.

If I am sitting at a table on the train with my child next to me (she insists on being next to me) I keep my bag on the seat opposite until it’s so busy I can’t avoid removing it or if someone asks me directly. The reason for this is
I am 6ft tall and sitting opposite anyone is uncomfortable but because I am a kind looking middle-aged woman people would automatically, without assessing my height/leg length, make a bee-line for this free seat before they would a chair opposite a man of any age or a young person. On long distance journeys we also play board games or my child does colouring in and I cba worrying about crayons or a dice rolling onto the lap of the stranger opposite.

I don’t feel bad about this behaviour, I’m very pleasant when someone does ask and I would never use a priority seat or indeed any seat if someone disabled or pregnant was standing.

Yes on your lap, not on another seat. Mine is on my lap or tucked down by my feet, it will only trip people if you let it stick out in the aisle.

Also there was an epidemic of them in London hotels and tubes only a couple of years ago. I had them a few years back and had a breakdown and suffer with ptsd from the whole experience. People are so flippant about them, sitting on public transport, booking hotels and not reading reviews etc unless you’ve had them you’ll never know the stress it causes.

It’s always been a problem @Traitor8er but it has got worse in the last 10 years.

I hear you!!
We’re in Scotland and when I’m with my parents who have walking sticks etc people fall over themselves to offer a seat to them, every time. The same in Spain on buses - all nationalities will automatically do it.
London however is feckin mental, people literally pushed them over to get on the tube/train - it’s a horrible place for etiquette that London, how anyone can be arsed with it I’ll never know!

It was common practice when I was young to go upstairs on busy buses, or if downstairs to offer our seats to anyone visibly old, pregnant, or with a walking aid. We’d have been embarrassed to have needed to be asked. I’ve got up as an older person, for someone obviously frailer, whilst others, probably more able, have ignored the situation.

But I can’t stand for long now, at 80, I’m just not as robust as I was. I have neuropathy which affects balance. My train travel is restricted, I can’t risk not getting a seat, and on local trams and buses I avoid busy times. I do think the Priority seats ought to have the labelling changed. Some disabilities, like my deafness (yes its a disability), or DGC’s ADHD don’t require accessible seating, those should be for people with mobility issues and that should be made clearer.

None of that is new behaviour.
I do agree that people are more selfish nowadays but that’s not a good example (because seat hogging has been common for decades)

I DESPISE it when you get in on an early-morning packed train and people sit in the rows of three, but leave the seat in the middle empty (or place their bags on them). Then when you ask if you can sit down, nobody bloody moves to the middle, so you’re left trying to manoeuvre yourself in without hitting them all in the faces with your stuff! Argh!! Why so rude, I really don’t get it. It’s not like they are business class seats on a plane.

In my days of commuting, I once boarded a crowded train and made my way to where a man was sitting with a big bag on the seat next to him. Before I could say anything he said, "My wife is sitting there". I looked at the bag and fell about laughing.

I travel on trains to London occasionally and it seems to be the norm for people to put their bag on the seat next to them. You just have to ask them to move it, and then they do. Once you accept that this is how it works, it's easier.
Also, everyone sort of radiates hostility. But you learn to tune it out.

I remember getting on a crowded train and spying, from the end of the carriage, an empty seat at a table of four. When I got there, I saw a plant sitting on it. I asked the woman sitting next to it if it was hers, and when she said yes, asked her to move it so I could sit down.

She looked a bit flabbergasted and said 'But where would I put it?' I politely suggested she put it on the table and hold onto it.

Still makes me smile to think of her gast being so flabbered.😁

13 years ago my husband and 2 kids at the time were on a busy train. There was a table with a space by the window and I was trying to ask the man if he would let me sit down with my baby in my arms but he had headphones on and ignored me so my husband firmly put his hand on his shoulder to get his attention. Funnily enough he moved over. If I'd been on my own he probably would have carried on ignoring me

Took my two to London to see a show last week on a packed train. I'd made sure to book three seats on the same table but found an older couple sitting in them with their bags. I had no problem moving them - though they did try to pretend they thought they had booked them.

My Mum was a single parent with no car, so we went everywhere on trains and buses. People who hogged seats for their bags were the lowest forms of life in her mind, right down there with Margaret Thatcher and Dr Beeching. She has always been a very non confrontational person, but she would always make people move their bags. It wasn’t a request, it was an expectation. I remember hearing her say “don’t worry kids, this man will move his bag” with a steely determination. And I’m the same now. DP would prefer to avoid any nastiness and just stay standing, but I make the bags move every time!

But I don’t think it’s any worse than it used to be. There were plenty of selfish people around in the 70s.

Should have asked someone. Your sprog will be paying their pension one day.

You are right about the rest of the Country being the same. This happened to us in Glasgow too. Train was packed I found a single seat which was fine. My husband noticed a young man with his back pack taking up the seat. My husband said can you move your bag please I want to sit down. The young guy, looked really sulky and made a show of packing earbuds into the bag ,moving at a 'snails pace' A woman behind .my husband shouted in a very clear voice . "Move that bloody bag Now! Show some respect " He moved like greased lightening! 😆 You could have heard a pin drop . My husband thanked her and took the seat .Not all hero's wear capes!

I often noticed on my frequent trips to Venice (a city with many bridges) that if a woman with a buggy approached one of them an Italian man would appear as if by magic to help get the buggy across the bridge. Mostly he would simply disappear without waiting to be thanked. Its was just something that people did.

What does 'made them move' mean?

How do you make someone move, or did you say, can I sit here please?

If it was glaringly obvious that the train was full, so there was no possibility the bag person may not have noticed their selfishness, I would say “you’ll need to move your bag”. If there was a chance they’d not noticed, I’d say “can you move your bag please”. No one will ever not move their bag, with a packed train looking at them.

I loudly told them to leave our seats. None of this asking or being polite when they knowingly sat on a table they didn't book.