Selfish swines on trains

[Traitor8er]

We're on a train with gcs. Dh's idea. I said it'll be packed. No it won't it's the middle of the day said he.
Yes it's rammed. We got on and dcs said we'll have to stand. I checked and there were 2 people spread over 4 seats. Shifted them sharpish. Eldest 2 sat there. Then another 2 with bags on seats. Yes also shifted. So we all got seats. I was more shocked at those spread over. They weren't massively overweight either. So shocked when I said you have to move.

Have people become even more selfish? I get trains now and again so maybe it's the norm? I'm glad I commute by car.

I don't often get on the tube at rush hour as I commute by bike. I was horrified recently when all the priority seats were full of seemingly fit young men with not an "I need a seat badge" in site while an older lady on two sticks stood.

I announced loudly about four times that she needed a seat until finally a twenty something woman stood up half way down the row (so not a priority seat) for her.

I sincerely worry about things when I'm elderly.

I’d always sit in the aisle seat so I don’t get trapped in the window seat by a creepy guy.

Then I get to choose whether to move over for a woman or child. Or offer the window to a man.

I’ve been on long solo journeys for work many times and have always deliberately booked a table seat so I could get some work done. No spreading out, just taking up my seat and my quarter of the table. On more than one occasion I’ve had a parent give me filthy looks and even ask me to move so their family could all sit together. I’m perfectly happy to see the other three seats in use because I didn’t book those. But no, I’m not vacating the seat I booked.

Why did you choose to 'make' that specific woman get up? When you say you made her, well she did what you said but not in the least bit willingly.

I'd always ask, not 'make', an able bodied looking man stand for someone pregnant or disabled. As there's zero chance that the man could also be pregnant.

I got on a crowded bus. Dh went down the bus and took a single seat. I was behind him and asked a lady to move her bag so i could sit down as there were no other seats. She tutted but moved her bag. When the person sitting next to dh got off, the lady next to me told me I could move now as there was a seat further back next to him. When I said it wasnt worth moving as we were getting off soon, she got very irritated.

Yeah it's awful how many sit on the aisle seat with bag by window, ear phones on, ignorant to the world. I do always book a seat now and often people are sat in it!

Jeez. It’s the lack of spatial awareness like no one else might be around them. I had a prat follow me around with a trolley in the supermarket pushing it close behind. She didn’t even know I was there.

I got on a train recently and went to a seat that looked free, the woman next to it had her bag on it. I waited politely for her to move it - she looked up and said sharply "WAIT" I was instantly annoyed by that, and replied - very politely - "Maybe don't put your bag on the seats as it's very rude"
She looked aghast and said "OH! SOMEONE IS ANGRY!! Angry, angry. I'm going to move."
And she did. Result, I'd say.

People have always been selfish. I remember no one offering me a seat when I was pregnant over 40 years ago.
I also remember carrying my buggy up and down stairs at railway stations and not being offered any help. I see that today too.
So there will always be selfish people, irrespective of era.

I hope you don't mind me asking if you are a parent?

Only if I can ask how that’s relevant?

Crappy and selfish behaviour out in force tonight. In one journey home across London using two lines I had

• someone barging through barriers behind me to fare dodge and nearly pushed me over.
• a middle age man in Lycra with a large unfolded bike (not permitted) who has the audacity to huff and puff when people were pressed up against it
• young woman next to me playing videos loudly on speakerphone who also expected to have half my seat for her big coat
• people trying to get on the train before people got off
• an idiot who insisted on keeping a large tote bag on shoulders taking up room on a crowded train and smacking people with it when they moved around.
• and the worst breach of London etiquette - someone standing on the left on the escalator and moaning when repeatedly asked to move….

I mean, I got shouted at recently by a woman because I had my bag on the seat next to me. I got on a completely empty train and then was engrossed in a work emergency on my phone so I was busying typing, hadn't come up for air. I also can't reach the bag holders, so I have to have my bags either beside me or on my lap.

The woman went mental shouting about it, which seemed very unreasonable. So I kinda think people who get annoyed by this are being unreasonable. When I was heavily pregnant I had a lot of complications which meant I couldn't stand at all. I always asked people to move out of the way for the priority seats and asked people to move out of the seats - everyone did it, I couldn't have gotten to work otherwise, and I thought nothing of it. I certainly wasn't annoyed

Life would be so much easier if people just communicated clearly and calmly and only took according to their need, wouldn’t it? As I’ve said earlier in the thread, I sometimes need a priority seat for reasons of limited mobility, but I look able-bodied. I’ve been asked to move before. Never nicely. I’m actually happy enough to explain why I need the seat, but my willingness to give someone that respect is somewhat eroded when they start on the offensive.

Yes I agree. I also had an invisible disability when I was in my early 20s and often needed a seat - I regularly had older people loudly tell me off for taking up a seat.

I think people should just calmly ask people to move their bags/offer a priority seat etc if they need it, without getting angry

I don't even ask them to move, I just say "I'm going to sit there", the implication being that if they don't move it/themself, I'll just sit on it/them.

I have not got a single bedbug bite from 20 years of sitting on trains. I take commuter trains during a time of the day when it is quieter where there generally are seats. Almost nobody stands if there is a seat.

I think you might be unique in your fears.

Those fears aren’t unfounded. There’s been quite a lot of coverage about the spread of bedbugs recently.

I completely agree that affluent white men are the least likely to offer a seat . I also find that more women than men offer me a seat, and they are more likely to be black/Asian than white.
The sight that annoys me most of all is when the tube is really crowded and I see a row of young to middle aged men staring engrossed into thier phones while a lot of people are standing, including older people and parents trying to manage babies or young children. Happens a lot in rush hour.
Another annoying sight - smug looking woman in her fifties with with a westie on the seat next to her. Not hygienic IMO . A dog's place is on the floor! I couldn't quite bring myself to say anything....

I had similar at an airport. Woman in the queue behind me, constantly bumping me with her backpack as she turned back and forth to speak to people in her group. I moved forward a bit when I could but she just came closer and kept doing it.
In the end I said "would you mind not bumping me with your bag?" which I thought was fairly reasonable. She went ape at me, shouting at me, saying things like "OH MY GOD, AM I BUMPING INTO YOU, OH NO! THAT MUST BE REALLY ANNOYING, HAVE I MADE YOU ANGRY" . Obviously a nutter, which, to be fair, was evident from the fact she was doing it in the first place!

Agreed. But people often do help, too.

People are very selfish. The worst for me is the rise in people not letting passengers off the train before they get on?! And then looking amazed when the people trying to get off push them 😅😅 that is a new thing in the last 5 years or so.

No sorry, that’s on you. Work on the train by all means but keep an eye on your surroundings and those who may need a seat.

Maybe I look pathetic but the number of people, well women, who offer me a seat on the underground amazes me. Yes, sometimes there will be someone on the train that’s plonked their bag on the seat next to them but I’ve never found it a problem if you ask them to move it.

Why’s that relevant she booked a seat for a reason
if that was me I’d seat the kids and stand myself