Why do some gay men think that this is acceptable?

[rozdiyle]

Obviously not all gay men. I have many gay friends who wouldn’t dream of behaving this way.

I was at a party this weekend and saw a friend I haven’t seen in a long time. He tried to grab my breasts, did grab another woman’s, and forced my hands to touch his chest. He is gay and seems to think that means this behaviour is acceptable. I had another two friends in the past, who I no longer speak to, and they would often grab their female friends’ breasts as well.

It is absolutely not acceptable. The thinking appears to be that they obviously aren’t attracted to women so therefore can paw at their bodies.

Yes we had a very camp straight creep at work who did this. I avoided him like the plague.

It’s not all gay men. But repeatedly grabbing women’s bodies without even trying to hide it is definitely a problem that exists amongst gay men. They don’t think they’re doing anything wrong.

Straight men do not do it like this. They sexually assault, of course, but not usually in plain site of dozens of people. Straight men don’t come over to you and the 60 year old woman celebrating her birthday and try and grab your breasts in front of her. Straight men don’t go over to women sitting with their partners and grab their breasts in front of them. This type of assault is very specific to gay men, some of whom believe that, because they’re gay, it is fine to grab women’s bodies.

They absolutely fucking do.

I have never experienced this and I have a gay brother, bisexual son and countless close gay friends. The only physical fight I've ever been in as an adult was with a drunk straight woman who sexually assaulted my brother in a gay club years ago in front of her cackling friends who thought it was hilarious. Most of my gay friends have suffered similar - and it's treated as a joke. He couldn't physically remove her without fear of him being made the villain - so I did and I wouldn't hesitate to do it again.

Okay. If you say you know straight men who assault numerous women that they’re sitting drinking with, in front of their partners and everyone else, whilst not being confronted on it, then fair enough.

I knew just reading the title this would be about them liking boob's. My gay friends would never behave like that, but one gay man at work used to grab another girls boob's when we were on a night out. She was quite big boobed, I was repulsed she was ok with it. After that heard it again and again usually happening to a larger boobed lady. Of course it's not all gay people but it's happened enough times to people I've spoken to.

Someone at work did this. I was like WTF. I mean if a straight man did it they would be sacked or put on a warning. Major invasion of boundaries and space.

Yep. Why do they get a free pass?

Urrrgh! Definitely not all gay men! But at a friend’s party with DH and a gay friend of the host starts pinching DHs bum - he has done this at another celebration of the same mutual friend when we met with him previously and DH had told him not to then as well.

REALLY fucked DH off. Just really weird and creepy. Gay-bum-pinchy guy was there with his partner too. So annoying!

This is happening to my 16 year old dd at college, one of the lads who is gay and insisting on being her friend has been slapping her behind, grabbing her, making inuendos and taking his shoes of under the desk and stoking her legs with his feet

she won’t let me say anything to college because they have a habit of removing the victim of the course and not dealing with the problem. She’s very uncomfortable.

Her other gay friend is not like this at all, he’s as disgusted as she is and keeps telling her she must report it. She’s too scared too

One night at uni i was out clubbing and a male gay friend suddenly locked me in a vice-like embrace, grabbed my face and kissed me, forcing his tongue down my throat. I was so utterly shocked I just didn't know how to react. I'd previously felt very comfortable and safe with him.
I think this sort of behaviour from gay men must be pretty rare, but when it happens is very shocking as you're generally not as wary or on your guard as you would be with a straight man.

Then help her to deal with it herself. Suggest she calls him out loudly in front of others.

You still can.

This has happened to me twice. Also a "drag queen" assaulted me in that shit disco type pub on canal street in Manchester.

Hmm. So when it's people saying they have never seen a gay man behave like this you reply with: "How is it remotely helpful to respond saying that this hasn’t happened to them? It’s not." But when people point out that straight men have absolutely been sexually assaulting women in plain sight since time began and you answer with the above? I had my suspicions before but now this thread is just screaming homophobia.

Did you misread? I said if you know of this happening, then fair enough.

There are dozens of articles about this phenomenon, including an open letter from a gay man appealing for other gay men to stop touching women’s bodies. Discussing gay men sexually assaulting women is not homophobia.